Metamorphosis
Pastor
A/N: Kara's comments are back XD)
Kagome rolled over in her bed smiling lazily. Everything was perfect in her world. The birds chirping. The alarm not going of. A wonderful Wednesday that she can sleep in o-…
Yeah.
Lets minus the day of the week.
A car horn?
Kagome cracked her eye open. Who could possibly be up at 6 in the morning honking the horn in front of her house.
The girl groggily mumbled curses as she stood up and opened the window. Her eyes widened seeing a Porsche in front of her house.
And a silver haired person.
Who killed her morning. (Kara: Dude, I read that as "Who killed her this morning", so I'm like "Wtf? She's a zombie?!" Then I looked back, and I'm like "Oh." )
Her wonderful not being named day of the week.
"GO TO HELL!" She screamed before turning around. The girl then remembered she didn't shut the window. Well rather she was reminded when she was pressed- rather chained back against her wall with clawed hands being the cuffs.
"Look Kagome, you're my girlfriend right?" Sesshoumaru questioned. Kagome opened her mouth to say something. "Shut up. And being my girlfriend you're suppose to honor, obey, and be loyal to me right?" He continued.
Kagome glared as she opened her mouth again. "Shut up. And since you don't want to know what it feels like to be melted with poision in a slow and painful manner before being resurrected and then being killed in various other ways, you'd get ready for me koi right?" He asked. Kagome's eyes flared and she stood up. "Sit down and shut up…" He stated pulling her down.
"Now, since you love me that much, I know you'll be down in half an hour…" (Kara: Half an hour?! Freakin' unreasonable!!! I take at LEAST an hour to admire my reflection..T.T) Sesshoumaru finished. Kagome sighed glaring coldly at him before getting up. He grabbed her hand and she slowly glanced back.
"You know, I'm glad we had this wonderful conversation, you're so loyal and obeying koi…" He said. Kagome opened her mouth and he was gone.
"Bastard…he's so cold…" Kagome whispered. 'And sooo hot and cool!!' (Kara: Then..he's lukewarm? oO?)
-------------------------------------
Kagome sighed wearing a black and red shirt accompanied by a flared and plaited black skirt. She wore boots that went up to her knees and she got into his car placing her bag and binder in his car. Exactly half an hour.
Sesshoumaru smirked about to say something to her.
"Koi, Aishiteru…drive before I kill you…" Kagome stated.
His smirk widened as he pulled out of the spot and sped forward. Kagome's eyes widened as the speed-o-meter went up as fast as a man's junk on viagra. (Kara: Hmm...And how does she know that?)
'Damn…' Kagome thought.
After a few blocks sirens sounded.
"Shit man, I knew something like this would happen…my whole life is turning into some fuckin parody story ain't it?" Kagome muttered as they pulled over.
Sesshoumaru smirked.
White flashes.
Many of them.
The officer walked over to the car as music started in the car.
Could I hear you say? Praise Him.
Kagome's eyes widened. What the hell. A church organ in the background. And Sesshoumaru was in…what the hell? A bishop robe?!
Glory now, now. Praise Him
Sesshoumaru smirked at the look of shock on Kagome's face.
Praise him now, now. Praise Him, Praise Him, Praise Him.
Oh now, now. Praise Him.
Glory Hallelujah. Praise Him.
Praises be now, now. Praise Him, Praise Him, Praise Him.
Kagome glared at the radio. She got it. Praise Him. Crap. Any more Praise Him and she'd run out the car feeling the 'spirit' running through her.
The cop looked at Sesshoumaru. "License and reg- Sir?" The cop asked.
"Praise the Lord, my good man. Bless God on this wonderful blessed day…"
Kagome could not believe the words coming out of Sesshoumaru's mouth.
"…That he woke us up this morning, set us in our right mind. I praise him for saving me from my sinful soul…"
She pinched him. Hard.
He closed his eyes and shook his head smiling. "Mmm Jesus, Praise the Lord!" He finished.
The cop nodded his head in between being scared and appauled.
"Um…hold on sir…I have to uh…find out what we give to uh…clergy-"
"The misses and I were just headed to see a man who was possessed with a demon, hurry if I might add?" He questioned politely.
The cop quickly ran into his car.
"Sesshoumaru what the he-"
Move to the right in the name of Jesus!
Move to the right in the name of Jesus!
Now move to the left in the name of the Lord!
Move to the left in the name of the Lord!
And could I see you just shake that booty that Jesus gave you?
Kagome's eyes widened as she looked between the radio and the posing pastor Sesshoumaru.
Shake that booty that Jesus gave you!
Shake that booty in the name of the Lord!
Shake that booty in the name of the Lord!
A salvation (uh) time (uh) I was singing (uh)
Everybody ought to know!
"Um…what the hell is this? Christian ebonics or something? Beenie Man on crack? This is an insult to the Christian race!"
"This is my ally's car. He happens to be a bishop."
"Bishop my-"
"You're dealing with deities"
"-Holy bible! He's more of a-"
"He's really saved"
"-not so filled with the spirit soul"
"Damn, he didn't buy it…hey is that your Honda?" Sesshoumaru asked as Kagome looked up. She had a Honda?
"Well sir, first can I see your"
"THEREGOMYHONDA"
"Amen, say it in tongues sister!" Sesshoumaru said.
"Oh…well um…sorry for the interuption, please, go on…ask God to heal my wife…God be with you…" The cop finished.
"God bless…" Sesshoumaru ended. (Kara: . . .)
He drove off smirking all the while, the radio now off and his clergy sign in the left corner of his front window.
Kagome blinked repeatedly not fully registering what happened.
"…Did you just pull off tricking an officer and using God?" The girl questioned.
No Reply.
"So doesn't that mean you're gonna go to hell?" (Kara: No No No, it was called "Divine Intervention"!)
No Reply.
"Is that to be taken as a yes?"
No Reply.
"So then, you're gay?"
No Re- "Wench, urasai…"
"Ah, there we go, audio's on…perfect…" Kagome stated smiling at him.
"…"
Kagome turned on the radio, this time quickly putting it on a radio station.
Nanika, mado kara tobikomisoude (Something seems about to fly through the window)
The girl nodded singing along with the song. 'It's so true…'
Kiniro ni ukabinagara sora ni mukatte (In a golden glow towards the sky…)
Kagome blinked. His golden eyes were gonna die?
Tobu… (It flies)
His eyeballs are flying…Heh…wait…HIS BALLS ARE FLYING?!
Mousugu shiroi asa ga kuru (Soon, the white dawn will come)
Soon she would cum? Wait…was this some weird lyric porn station or something.
Ai wo makura ni korogatte ikiru (Rolling along, pillowed by love, it lives)
Whoa…slow down there, sex on a pillow? What's rolling? Kagome blinked.
Lonely Freedom
Um how could you be lonely with that going on? And hell what type of freedom, an orgy?
Lonely Freedom
Kagome pictured the rumored white light that some of her friends told her about. Was that what it meant. Was the song about a woman's point of view on sex? (Kara: Okay, I've heard enough. Kinda sad, but this chick needs hearing aids.)
They pulled up to a house and Sesshoumaru turned off the car, getting out and opening the door for Kagome.
He blinked. Her arousal was skyrocketing by the second and she was red. Blood red. The type of red that probably ran from head to toe…He started to wonder.
"Dude, I am never getting in this car again…you call this a Christian car? What Christian car plays songs about sex?!"