Twenty ways to drive Captain Jack Sparrow insane

Tell him there was a mix up with his order of rum and the fifty cases of rum he has is actually water.

Tell him you think that the monkey would make a better Captain as at least he managed to stay on longer.

Endlessly tell him he has something in his teeth

Slap him and tell him "Yes you really DID deserve that!"

Tell him that some men are there to see him about the payment of the Black Pearl and that they mentioned something about legs and breaking but you're not quite sure what they meant.

Ask him if he was once attacked by a swarm of flies and if that's why he does the exaggerated hand movements.

Constantly refer to the Pearl as a "rowing boat"

Step on the back of his boots

Whilst he's asleep shave off one of his eyebrows and half of his moustache (opposite sides).

When he asks you whether he has ever given you a reason not to trust him, raise an eyebrow and reply "do you really want me to answer that question, because I don't think you have four hours for my to list the reasons"

When he gets frustrated or angry ask him if it's his time of the month

Ask him "were you bullied as a child? Did they think you were a eunuch? Is that why you call Will one?"

Incessantly ask him if he likes men

Ask him if each of the belts he wears represents one of his split personalities

Ask him if he was born with the bone attached to his hair or if it just got caught in his hair one day and he has yet to realise that its there

Act really drunk then go up to him and say "woah, you have some good rum but next time you should get more for your secret stash, it only took my 10 minutes to drink it all"

Yodel every where you go

Scream and tell him his hand is only made from bones, then tell him that it must have been a trick of the light

Every time Jack mentions that the Black Pearl is freedom, contradict him by telling him that your stuck there, and you don't consider that freedom

Look at him, tut and shake your head then walk away, leaving him confused

A/N Okay this is the first time I have ever written something like this and I hope you all enjoyed it.

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Mucho gracias

Saphalina xxx