Hi guys…betcha all thought I'd died, huh? Nah, I just hadn't felt like writing, and then I got stuck, and then I got busy. But here's something I cranked out today, on the weekend of finals, lol. Anyway, hope you've all been well, and sorry for the delay!

018. "I don't want to realize"

She sat there, watching him.

He looked at her hopefully.

"Is this…" she paused. "Is this what you want?" she finally asked, very carefully.

"More than anything," he replied quietly.

She blinked. She should have been what he wanted more than anything else in the world. "Even though you've nearly died this time?" she whispered, looking away from his determination.

"Yes."

She bit her lip quietly, the emotion all to apparent in her eyes for once in her life. She was hurt. She was weaker than he was, at least in this particular situation, on this particular day. She was wavering, though she had sworn that she wouldn't. She was holding him too tightly, though she had sworn he was free to do what was necessary.

She nodded carefully. "Well, then."

He nodded as well, and slumped quietly in the chair, wincing as the pain seared through the fresh wound.

They were too young for this, she argued desperately. They were so young to be fighting an entire country. She stood abruptly and walked out of the room, closing the door behind her carefully. Riza Hawkeye did not slam doors.

Outside, it was cold, and she gulped in the frozen air desperately, trying to maybe freeze the tears gathering in the corners of her eyes.

"I don't want to know," she whispered hoarsely, "that he will put his life on the line every day…that he will suffer for this damn goal…that he might come out of this more twisted than he walked in."

But those were just excuses, only a fraction of the pain that she was feeling right now. Riza Hawkeye never lied to herself, she thought.

"I don't want to realize…that he'll put this damn mission…"

She trailed off, not wanting to say the words.

"Before me."

Well, see ya until the next time I guess…please review—I haven't had one in so long…:'( (yeah i know, my fault, right?)