Disclaimer: Come on, if I owned Teen Titans, would there really only be ONE episode for me to make these outtakes of Jinx and Kid Flash out of? COME ON!!!!! I do NOT own the Teen Titans, any characters, etc. I even do not own my own brain at times…
BEFORE YOU READ! THESE OUTAKES ARE THE PRODUCTS OF A DISTURBED MIND! I ALSO GOT THE IDEA FROM THE NARATOR'S WICKED AWESOME RUROUNI KENSHIN OUTAKES!! PLEASE DO NOT KILL ME!!!
WARNING: This also contains silliness, randomness, shamelessness, and complete and utter idiocy on the part of the author (also some Japanese anime references a lay-person might not understand). Once again, I beg of you to not try to attribute any rational thought to their reading.
Outtakes (for Lightspeed):
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Scene where Kid Flash is running away from Madame Rouge who is running after him stretching her arms out really long and he is just barely managing to dodge.
Lots of awesome action shots of Kid Flash running like hell as long snaky black arms chase him. But then, as he runs down the street, barely jumping clear of an arm, he trips and falls.
Kid Flash: What the hell was that?
Madame Rouge is on the ground laughing her head off which sounds really weird because of her thick accent.
For some random reason Jinx walks onto the set and whispers something to Kid Flash, giggling a bit, and gesticulating toward something on the road
Kid Flash: You have got to be kidding me, I tripped over a speed bump?! What IDIOT stuck a speed bump in the set?!
Director: heh heh, oh… right, cut!
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This outtake is an explanation of why Kid Flash never said "Missed me, missed me, now ya gotta kiss me!"
Scene where Jinx has just blasted Kid Flash across the museum, the rest of the HIVE 5 appears to fight Kid Flash, blah blah blah!
-Mammoth starts trying to punch KF, but the speedster dodges each blow-
Kid Flash: Ha ha! Missed me! Missed me again! Missed me, missed me, now ya gotta kiss me!
Mammoth: Okay.
Kid Flash: What the f#$&?!
-Mammoth picks up KF and before he realized what was happening….-
Mammoth: -smooch-
Kid Flash: -brain freeze-
Jinx: …?!
Rest of cast and crew: WHAT THE HELL?!
Kid Flash: -Loud sound of shattering glass-
WAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! –runs away at super-speed crying-
Mammoth: Wha?
Director: someone go find him please?
Jinx, Raven, Bee, and Starfire: We'll go find him.
See-more: I guess he really would feel like crying after that…
Gizmo: Even I would cry if that happened to me.
Kyd Wykydd (or however the hell you spell it): ….
-In the sound stage-
Jinx: Wally you in there?
Kid Flash: yeah…
Starfire: Yes, do not worry about it the Kid Flash, it is not that bad…
Kid Flash: -stares at her with an obvious "Cut the crap" look-
Starfire: Or maybe it is that bad, but do not worry about it, friend.
Raven: Like Starfire said, don't worry about it. If it was a boy then really doesn't count.
Bee: Now if had been your first kiss, that would have been a tragedy! But that's certainly not the case, is it Wally? Wally?
Kid Flash: …. –sprints away as fast as he can-
-Inside an air vent in his dressing room-
Kid Flash: -blank stare-
Jinx: There you are Wally! I've been looking for you everywhere. Can I sit next to you?
Kid Flash: -blank stare-
Jinx: I'll take that as a 'Yes'.
-Sits down next to Kid Flash in the air vent.-
Kid Flash: You can start laughing any time now.
Jinx: AHA HA HA HA HA!!!!
Kid Flash: You can stop laughing any time now.
Jinx: Was that really your first kiss?
Kid Flash: -turns so that his back is facing her- Does it really matter?
Jinx: Of course it doesn't. But honestly, you haven't been training hard enough if he could kiss you that easily. Plus, how could you not notice Mammoth was gay?
Kid Flash: …
Jinx: Did you not notice his friggin' outfit? Or that he taped a gay flag to the door of his dressing room? Or how when we were in the museum he stole clothes?
Kid Flash: Fine, I admit it, I was stupid for not noticing that Mammoth was gay, but give me a break! I've been to busy trying to avoid Aqualad. He's become, like, this weird gay stalker or something, and then I'm almost sure Speedy's bi…
Jinx: Aqualad's been stalking you?
Kid Flash: Yes! I can't freaking go anywhere near large bodies of water, it sucks!
Jinx: Are you gay?
Kid Flash: I'm not gay!
Jinx: Sorry, but the spandex really was beginning to make me wonder…
Kid Flash: Hey! Leave the spandex out of this!
Jinx: You know, I think it's about time you realized we're alone and no one could possibly find us.
Kid Flash: -Getting what she's saying- Uh huh
Jinx: One second first –blasts out the cameras that had been the eyes of all the Titans/ Director/ Other crew members/ villains
All the Titans/ Director/ other crew members/ villains: Shit! She noticed!
Jinx: Now, where were we?
Kid Flash: -happy/ hentai smile-
A/N: Yes, I rather shamelessly borrowed most of the story from Volume 2 of Ranma1/2 which I own…but don't own at the same time, get it? Never mind, that made no sense.
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Random thing that really isn't an outtake but amuses me.
-The cast is prepping for the another scene-
Director: Kid Flash! Hey! KID FLASH!! Has any one seen Kid Flash? We need to start.
Jinx: Director, let me try. OI Wally! The shoot's about to start!
-no response-
Jinx: Here- Wally, Wally, Wally…. Here boy… -whistles-
-twitch-
Jinx: -now really annoyed- KID FLASH GET YOUR ARSE OUT HERE NOW IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU!!!!
-silence-
Voice from off camera: YAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Cast and Crew: What the?
-All of a sudden a red and yellow blur comes flying onto the set and starts bouncing between the ceiling and floor but is still moving too fast so the shape is still indistinguishable-
Kid Flash: Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-Cast and crew watch in astonishment for a few seconds. Then Mother Mae-Eye walks onto the set-
Mother Mae-Eye: Oh my… all I did was give him a jumbo pixie stick…
Jinx: -deadly quiet- You did what?
Mother Mae-Eye: -gulp- I gave him a jumbo pixie stick…
Kid Flash: Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jinx: You mean you put Kid Flash on a sugar high? Kid Flash?! The most hyper super-hero of all time?! You gave him SUGAR?!
Mother Mae-Eye: Umm…. I didn't think of that….
Kid Flash: Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jinx: SHUT UP YOU IDIOTIC HYPER-ACTIVE SPEEDSTER!! –several windows break-
Kid Flash: -now hanging from a stage light a loonngggg way up from the ground- hee hee, ha ha, ho ho,… MAKE ME!!!!!
Jinx: Wallace Rudolf West, come here now!!
Kid Flash: I don't wanna! Hee hee hee!
Jinx: I said come down!! –her eyes glow and the stage light breaks and it and Kid Flash start plummeting to the ground-
Kid Flash: hee hee hee hee hee –starts running in mid air, causing enough of a blast of air with his legs to shoot himself upward onto the support beams-
Jinx: You supercilious stupid speedster! (A/N: Try saying that when you're drunk.)
Kid Flash: Hahahasfaiwureuuhdczxmndadhajlsdjfhfuriehuiyeuirtyuieuiyiidaalasdkjfsakdsietuiwutiouioureirekwajkldsjfklajskdfjajheiwwuewiruhnernasnmbwenrttbmwbqwetqwer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jinx: What the hell is he saying?
Cyborg: Who knows? I can't slow his speech down enough to translate.
Raven: Shall I try dragging him back down to the ground?
Kid Flash: Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jinx: No, in his current state, he is much to fast for us. We will have to be more…subtle… heh heh heh….-evil grin-
Everybody: sweatdrop
Jinx: Now where did I put the sedatives…?
Director: I think I'm going to go commit suicide now…
Jinx: Beast Boy, go to the break-room fridge and get a diet Coke, no caffeine or sugar.
Beast Boy: Yes Ma'am -runs off-
Jinx: Speedy, think you could shoot a tranquilizer dart at the idiot speedster as soon as he starts to slow down?
Speedy: Wha?
Jinx: Either he'll hurt himself like this, or he'll do something he'll really regret. We need to calm him down now.
Speedy: -hangs head- Yeah, I could get him….
Jinx: Thanks, now I need someone else to go to my room, look under the bed, find the big stainless steel suitcase, and bring it here. Make sure it's the right one! It should have several vials of opaque liquid in it and darts. Also check to see if it has an orange bottle containing some pills, that should be the sedatives, and there should be something resembling a very big black gun…
Random crew member: Alrighty!
Jinx: -eyes flick back to Kid Flash who is spinning around and around and around on the support beams- I will get you down, if it's the last thing I do.
Kid Flash: la la la la la (hee hee) la la
-Sometime later-
Jinx: Oh Kid Flash I have some regular Coca Cola for youFull of sugar and caffeine
Kid Flash: Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-runs down at superspeed, grabs the cup out of her hands and drinks it with one gulp (which has an odd tang to it), then feels a slight pain, like a mosquito bite. Looks dazedly around to find that there is a dart sticking out of his neck-
Kid Flash: Oh my….-keels over-
Jinx: The combination of a tranquilizer and sedatives worked well.
Raven: Not bad t'all….
Speedy: Uh, is he dead? –Nudges unconscious speedster with his foot-
Jinx: Nah, he'll just be asleep for a while. Let him rest, when he remembers what happened he'll either think it was all a dream or he'll be on bended knee apologizing profusely. Poor guy….
Kid Flash: -snore-
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Scene where the H.I.V.E. 5 is exiting the museum.(Very beginning of show, sorry I'm doing this out of order, I know…weep)
H.I.V.E. 5 walk out of the museum doors.
LOOOOOOOONNNNNNNGGGGGGG WAIT
Director: Cut! Um… has anybody seen Kid Flash?
-Snore-
Gizmo: That crud-bucket!
See-More: Oh no!
Mammoth: He can't be!
Kyd Wyykyd: …!
Jinx: My God! He is!
Everyone turns to see Kid Flash on the other side of the set sleeping like a baby, quietly snoring.
Director: Somebody wake him up. Kid Flash this is coming out of your pay check.
Jinx: I didn't slip that many sedatives in the Coke, and the tranquilizer shouldn't have lasted this long… that leaves me left with only one option.
-Everyone now stares at the rather intense and scowling Jinx-
Jinx: I'm going to doodle on him! –takes out sharpie-
Everybody Awake and Present: sweatdrop
Director: Jinx, this isn't Ranma ½
Jinx: So?
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Scene where the H.I.V.E. 5 is exiting the museum, take 2!
H.I.V.E. 5 walk out of the museum doors.
A sudden gust of wind flies past. But instead of the just the artifacts disappearing, Kid Flash is standing there, in all his spandex clad glory holding Jinx comfortably in his arms bridal-style.
Kid Flash: Hiya gorgeous!
Rest of H.I.V.E. 5: …..
Jinx: You idiot! That's not in the scrip-
Kid Flash cuts her off by snogging her
Director: Cut!
A/N: Damn, that made me sound like a Brit! Awesome!
Scene where Kid Flash is supposed to run off to Paris for a few seconds to pick up the red toupe and croissant
Kid Flash: When you're as fast as me, you have plenty of time.
He zips off but half way across the museum his feet stop moving and he and the carpet he's on skids the rest of the length of the building and crashes into the wall
Director: CUT!
Jinx: -trying desperately to contain laughter as she hops down to where Kid Flash is stuck on his rear swearing the ears off everyone present- You okay, Kid?
Kid Flash: I told you not to call me that! –tries to get up-. HEY! This is FLY PAPER!
Off camera shot of Mme. Rouge laughing her head off
Kid Flash: MADAME ROUGE I AM SOOOOO GONNA KILL YOU!
Jinx: Uh, Kid Flash….
Kid Flash: What?
Jinx: I'm, uh…stuck too…
Kid Flash: -evil grin- Oh really….
Jinx: Kid Flash stop looking at me like that…seriously, you're beginning to scare me…
Kid Flash: heh heh heh heh….
-I leave what happens next up to your own vivid imaginations-
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Scene where Kid Flash finds his way to Jinx's room
See-More: He's heading down to section 4
Jinx: But that's my room!
-she takes off running-
She bursts into her room only to see Kid Flash swirly eyed on the floor with blood pouring out of his nose. The rest of the H.I.V.E. 5 appears behind her to see what happened to Kid Flash. She reaches down to where her sketch book should have been only to find:
Jinx: A comic book? What the hell? –Opens it-
After just one look the rest of the H.I.V.E. 5 also faints from sudden nose-bleeds.
See-more (curled in a ball on the floor): hentai hentai hentai hentai hentai…
Jinx: Ugh, Alright, WHO DREW THIS! LIKE I WOULD EVER DO ANYTHING LIKE THIS WITH KID FLASH!! GRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kid Flash (still on the floor with blood gushing out of his nose): Jinx, I'm hurt…
Jinx (who has turned a most interesting shade of red): SHUT UP!!
-Jinx checks author's name on the cover of the book-
Maria Jeanne Rouge
Jinx: MADAME ROUGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Director (with two pieces of bloody tissue stuffed up his nose ):"Cud! And Madum Rouge! No bore bessing wid de props!!"
Madame Rouge –somewhere no one can see her-: foo
Jinx pulls out a machine gun and starts humming a hunting song
A/N: Madame Rouge, I believe I am starting to see the beginning of a running gag.
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Scene where the H.I.V.E. 5 is trying to decide the fate of the illustrious Kid Flash
Seemore: I say we brain wash him and make him steal stuff for us!
Mammoth: Let's sell him! He's got to be worth something.
Gizmo: I think we should take him apart and see what makes him tick!
-Kid Flash looks really bored, so he runs and gets a sandwich and takes a huge bite. Unfortunately, he took to large a bite and begans to choke, but nobody notices-
Kid Flash: ... -gagging noise- …. !!!!!!
Jinx: I told you! We should call…
Billy Numerous 1: Nah! Don't let them spoil are fun!
Billy Numerous 2: Yeah! Let's hang him on the wall like a big mouth bass!
Jinx: …Kid Flash! You're line! You missed your li-…. Why is your face blue?
Kid Flash: …. –more gagging noises- ….!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jinx: Oh, is that it? Okay, guys, KF is choking to death. MEDIC PATTERN ALPHA!!!
Cast and crew minus the HIVE 5 (and KF b/c he's busy dieing): What the hell?!
Gizmo leaps forward with weird thingymabob that blasts the cage away from around Kid Flash; then Mammoth leaps forward, grabs Wally and does the Heimlich. Kid Flash coughs up and spits out a pickle (then promptly sinks to the floor gasping for air.
Mme Rouge: Thus de moral of de story iz nevor bite ov more dan you can chew, and pickles are EVIL!!!!!!!
Kid Flash: … –continues to pant while glaring crossly at Madame Rouge-
A/N: Yup, running gag.
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Scene where Kid Flash is telling Jinx she's to good to be a villain, and his sandwich needs mustard.
Kid Flash: I work alone these days. You've got a nice place. Very… secret lair.
Jinx: Quit changing the subject!
Kid Flash: Doesn't it bother you that all those guys never listen to you?
Jinx: Why are you so interested in me?
Kid Flash: There's something about you that's different; I think you can do better.
Jinx: ….
Kid Flash: …Can I get some mustard? This looks a little dry.
-Jinx blasts the sandwich into a million pieces, another tiny pickle finding its way down the wrong tube of Kid Flash's throat-
Jinx: Have your fun; in a minute you'll wish you were never born… oh…. Are choking again? Jeez, you are so stupid.
Kid Flash: ….-gagging noises-... !!!!!!!
Director: Sigh, cut!
Jinx: Fine, fine, I'll help.
-Jinx melts away the bars of the care in front of KF, walks into cage and performs Heimlich. Yet another piece of that god damn pickle flies from his lips. He then goes completely limp-
Jinx: Oy, you still alive?
Kid Flash: Yep, just wishing I was never born.
Jinx: Oh shut up, will you? Or do you want me to give you another pickle?
Mme. Rouge: I tink dis proves I vas right about de EVIL-ness of de pickles, correct?
Jinx: …ugh…Kid Flash, hand me the damn pickle right now so I can shove it up her $#&…!
Kid Flash: (wheeze, wheeze) Glad to be of service…(wheeze, hack, cough, wheeze)…Here you go!
Jinx: heh heh heh heh…
Mme. Rouge: Oh shit!
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Scene where HIVE 5 have been chasing KF all over the Museum but he has kicked all their ass (minus Jinx) but (to his chagrin) slips on a puddle and goes flying.
See-More: Mammoth, now!!
-Mammoth breaks through wall behind Kid Flash and pulls him into the squeezing Hug of Death-
Kid Flash: …I didn't… know ya cared…!
–KF starts vibrating, friction heat makes Mammoth let go, blah blah blah, Kid Flash runs forward slips on a well placed puddle, and falls dramatically, except he falls a little too far forward, and dramatically crashes into Jinx and they both hit the ground (KF on top of Jinx)-
Director: CUT!! Damn, if this was real all of these folks would have been fired for the number of mistakes in this ONE episode! Grrr….
Jinx: -looking up at Kid Flash who's face is bright red- You really no how to sweep a girl off her feet.
Kid Flash: I'M SO SORRY!! –starts to get up but Jinx drags him back down-
Jinx: I rather like this position, don't you?
Kid Flash: yeah…(hentai grin)
Gizmo: Ugh…hormonal idiots! That's it. I'll never grow up!
Everybody: …
End Notes of Impending DOOM: Did you like my outtakes? As director-san said, none of these guys would keep their jobs if they messed up this often. However, IF CARTOON NETWORK HAD AIRED MORE EPISODES STARRING JINX AND KID FLASH, I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO PICK ON THIS EPISODE SO MUCH, NOW WOULD I?!!!!!! GRRRR!!!!!!!!!
Anyway, if anyone has a favorite episode they would like me to do next, then I'll check it out and see what I can do. I will have a bit of trouble though cause' I'm not really a fan of any other matches within the Titans. I guess I like the Cy/Bee pairing a little, but to be honest I don't give a damn. Star/Rob, Rae/Rob, Terra/BB, or BB/Rae, Don't care. Although I guess I could have fun messing with the characters, I think I'll refuse to make any blatant supports of any other pairings. However, I generally support the decisions of the original comics people, and Nightwing (Robin) and Starfire do have a kid in the original comics, so I guess I'll stick with that pairing there. (But I refuse to do Cy/ Jinx! Grrrrr! If only I could get my hands on the complete MORON who came up with that! Hmmm, but having KF constantly breaking into that episode and fighting w/ Cy over Jinx, that could be fun...-really demonic smile- ...heh heh...) But yeah, I might expand, but only if a good episode comes up. Please review! (And don't trash this to badly, it's just me being stupid, really! I blame it all on Chirp I !! –if you don't get it, read my profile-) REVIEW!!!!! PRETTY PLEASE!!!!!!!
PS: hentai is Japanese for 'pervert' or 'perverted', just so ya know! Sorry if that confused you!