So, a funny thing happened between this update and my last one. I sort of had my film career take off on me. Aside from shooting an assortment of commercials locally, I've done two short films (one of which I am almost done with; info to follow soon). But the bulk of my time has been occupied with editing a feature length film. The last three months have left almost no time for writing as all my creative energy went to one film project or another. Good for my desire to become a director. Bad for my fan fiction. But with the conclusion of the real Season 4 last month, I was inspired to push through and get back to writing again.

A mega-shout goes out to Molloy for serving as my deadline enforcer and cheerleader as I churned this episode out. There'll be a gift basket from Henchco on your doorstep soon...

And if you haven't made your way over to read RonHeartbreaker's Diplomacy in Action, you have made an error in judgment. Please correct this as soon as possible.

Thanks to MrDrP, cpneb, Pharaoh Rutin Tutin, JPMod, Isamu, CajunBear73, The Real Sidekick, Molloy, Stand Alone Battle A.I, Akinyi, Cobrafire, Magnatron The NR Fan, Danny-171984, and XyKPfan for reading and reviewing. All reviews will be responded to by yours truly. Enjoy!

Kim, Ron, and all other characters within belong to the Walt Disney Corporation... Unfortunately.

Episode 8: A Court Date Story

by Ultimate Naco Topping

"Shego!" Dr. Drakken yelled with a mixture of panic and frustration. "Stoppable's heading for the De-Atomizer Cannon!"

His green-skinned henchwoman ducked a size seven shoe with mere inches to spare and devoted a small portion of her precious concentration to her boss's plea.

"Kinda' busy here, Dr. D.!" she growled back as a fresh wave of punches and kicks originated from a red blur and accelerated in her direction.

From halfway up the steel ladder to the control platform of the De-Atomizer Cannon, Ron Stoppable wiped the tear from his eye as he watched the battle below. The grin on his face could not have been larger.

"K.P.! Dr. Drakken remembered my name! Did you hear him…? Kim…?"

"Kinda' busy here, Ron!" Kim called as a trail of green plasma rocketed past her face leaving ozone and singed hair in its wake.

Watching Ron resume his ascent to the control platform, Drakken felt nauseated at the looming foil of yet another evil plan.

"She-go! He's going to get to the controls!" he whined.

A hard blow to her gut sent Shego flying before she landed hard on her back. Her frustrated growl was more from Drakken's continued prattling than from Kim's well executed roundhouse.

"Then order the henchmen to stop him!" the villainess said as she rolled to avoid a fist to her jaw. "That's what they're paid for, aren't they?"

--

The normally empty dock on the shore of Dr. Drakken's island lair was full of henchmen from Local 417 busily signing new recruits, lounging around drinking refreshments, or engaging in lighthearted conversation. And of course, there was the large contingent of men walking in a circle with signs on their shoulders ranging from 'No Dental Plan - No Work' to 'Evil Bonuses Now!'

--

"We're having a small squabble over compensation!" Dr. Drakken shouted as green and red swirls moved viciously against each other on the lair's main floor.

With Shego being of no help, the evil genius's eyes darted back to check on Ron's progress before desperately searching for anything to turn the tide. The nefarious glint returned to his eye as he spotted his plan's salvation. Drakken ran to a cabinet and quickly riffled through its contents producing various broken gadgets and remote controls before...

"Aha!" he cackled confidently pointing a small brown remote in Ron's direction. The blonde once again halted his ascent to view the new threat. "You think you can be all that like your girlfriend, sidekick, but let's see how all that you think you are after this!"

With enough smugness to fill the Los Angeles Basin, the blue-skinned villain smashed his thumb on the button and looked with anticipation at four wooden crates in the corner of the room.

From his precarious perch, Ron watched as a garage door in the opposite corner of the lair whirled to life and began to open before simply returning to climbing the ladder. Realizing that the contents of the boxes were not controlled by the remote in his hand, Drakken turned to see the garage door continue to open revealing his striking underlings circling outside. Releasing a loud 'Grrr!', he pressed the button to close the door and went back to look for the right remote.

"Oy!" Shego declared with one eye on Kim and the other on her grumbling employer. "I am this close to joining the picket line myself..."

As Ron crested the ladder and stood on the cannon's control platform, Drakken finally produced the appropriate remote. With an evil sneer, he hit the button. Immediately, the four wooden crates exploded sending splinters and lumber everywhere forcing Kim and Shego to shield themselves from the debris. The two combatants looked up to see a quartet of standard model synthodrones activate and present themselves to Dr. Drakken.

"Oh look, Kimmie, they're just your type," Shego verbally stabbed. Her redheaded opponent bristled before letting out a rare roar. Her words hitting their mark better than her plasma bolts, Shego enjoyed a predatory smirk as Kim made a ferocious charge.

"Synthodrone 887 awaiting orders," the lead drone said lifelessly.

"Stop the buffoon!" Drakken yelled pointing up to the cannon's controls.

On top of the platform, Ron held his fist under his chin tapping his foot as he looked over the De-Atomizer Cannon. The noise of the exposed gears of the cannon spinning what appeared to be a magnet around a focused beam of light did not help his concentration.

"Why is there never a properly labeled 'off' button?" he said before giving a shrug and proceeding with his standard procedure for disarming doomsday devices: messing with everything.

"Halt, buffoon," ordered a monotone Synthodrone 887 as he landed with his three counterparts on the control platform. Ron spun only to be horrified by what he saw. He was now surrounded by his third worst nightmare right behind a national ban on cheese and his girlfriend melting into green goo at prom.

"Syntho... drones...," he barely whispered.

Four sets of glowing green eyes locked onto the sidekick as the drones advanced steadily towards him. The blonde's muscles began to freeze as he tried to yell for help but couldn't. The situation looked dire as the artificial henchmen tightened their formation before a loud, though high-pitched, growl stopped them. Leaping out of his human's pocket, Rufus shot like a missile across the ground towards Synthodrone 887 - his front teeth glistening like daggers ready to bite. The naked mole rat coiled and jumped towards his target expecting to hit pay dirt, but instead hitting glass. Two tiny gloved hands slammed the lid of the jar over the top and screwed it shut.

"Not this time, weasel thing," Drakken sneered holding his irate little captive to his face. Rufus shook his paw at the evil genius and angrily squeaked something that sounded like 'It's mole rat!'. Dr. Drakken ignored him and turned back to Ron. "Game over, buffoon!"

"Ah, come on... Back to buffoon?" Ron replied as his feared turned to annoyance. "Is a little consistency in name-calling too much to ask for?"

"I'll call you whatever I want when I'm ruling the world! Get him!" the self-proclaimed doctor said redirecting his synthodrones to attack Ron.

Down below, Shego blocked a chop from Kim and responded in kind only to have her own punch miss its mark. The two women were forced to clamp hands together face to face in a struggle for domination.

"What are you, my sister all of a sudden?" Kim asked with a grunt continuing their 'conversation'.

"Look, princess," Shego retorted similarly strained but breaking the deadlock in her favor. "All I'm saying is I don't get you two, that's all."

"I don't have to justify our relationship with you," Kim spat back as she turned the tide back in her favor. "Ron and I are...,"

The shrill shriek of a siren cut her off before she could finish. Red lights began to pulse throughout the lair. They were accompanied by the all too familiar hum of a doomsday device that was about to have a power overload.

"Warning! Overload eminent! Refer to product manual for proper operation parameters. If problems persist, call the Henchco Customer Service 800 number. Standard rates and tolls apply," a computer voice calmly stated.

Kim and Shego looked up to see Ron and Drakken hit the ladder at the same time wedging themselves stuck between the railings - two synthodrones flanking them. A terrified Rufus could do nothing as his jar was now the object of tug-of-war between sidekick and villain.

"Out of my way!" Drakken hollered tugging Rufus's jar.

"Not until you give back my weasel thing!" Ron shouted yanking Rufus back towards him. Neither side relented each straining to take the jar from the other completely ignoring the looming threat of incineration. One final tug was all it took to slip the jar from both pairs of hands.

"Rufus!" Ron shouted as the jar hurtled to the floor with its terrified passenger.

In one seamless move, Kim planted her foot in a distracted Shego's midsection, jumped, and fired her grappler. As soon as the hook ripped into the lair's ceiling, she hit the retract button and rocketed upwards meeting Rufus halfway. With the jar of naked mole rat secured, Kim landed on the ledge near the De-Atomizer's control platform.

"Nice catch, K.P.!" a thankful Ron exclaimed. Before he could turn his attention back to his predicament with Drakken, the evil genius placed his hand in Ron's face and shoved him back onto the platform clearing the ladder for himself. With all the grace of a landing albatross, Drakken made his escape behind Shego.

"Time to go, Ron!" Kim shouted over the noise of the alarms and overloading cannon. Kim held out her arm to catch her boyfriend as he made the small jump from the platform to the ledge. They quickly ran to the ledge's end and kicked the utility door open. The two remaining synthodrones followed right behind them.

The lair shuddered as the two teens jumped down the embankment just outside and slid to the jungle floor below. The concussion of the De-Atomizer Cannon's explosion propelled them down the hill tumbling through the dirt and random bushes before finally coming to a rest at the edge of the island's dock.

The blonde and the redhead barely had time to stand and dust themselves off before they noticed the striking henchmen gawking at the now burning lair.

"Good thing we're on strike," one of the larger henches called out with a whistle.

"Just be glad we don't have to clean it up this time," joked another. A third henchman noticed the two synthodrones who had come to a stop next to Kim and Ron and approached them.

"You two must be new," he said shaking their hands. "Let's get you guys signed up."

The two teen heroes watched in stunned silence as the two drones looked at each other, shrugged, and followed the henchman to the main table to write their 'names' and collect their picket signs.

"To being Seniors!" Monique toasted with her Bueno Nacho beverage cup.

"Here! Here!" Kim said returning the toast.

"And not having to work at Club Banana full time," the raven haired beauty added before taking a bit of her chimerito.

"Your connections to the grapevine have been missed."

"T. T.," Monique said drawing an inquisitive eyebrow from her best friend. "Oh, sorry, that's a new one: true that. Speaking of the grapevine, time for you to dish the dirt."

"About what?" Kim asked with a fork full of a naco salad.

"You... Ron... Dating..."

Kim's eyes darted away as she set down her fork in favor of a nervous sip of her drink. Monique instantly had a sinking feeling.

"You two are still dating, right?"

"Yes!" Kim declared. "It's just that..., well..., we haven't really gone on anything you could call a date..., yet."

"You mean it's still missions, Bueno Nacho, an hanging out as usual?" Monique said in a tone that bordered on disgust.

"Yeah, pretty much," the redhead groaned.

"Uh, Kim, a critical element of 'dating' is going out on actual dates."

"I know," Kim said with a squirm. "I'm just waiting for Ron to make a move, that's all."

"Okay, no offense but..., are you crazy?! You're Kim Possible. Take control! Or at least you could tell him to take you out."

"I could, but then he might think that I think he can't handle a relationship or change and, well, you know how sensitive he can be about change..."

"The Guaco Naco?!" Ron shouted at the register drawing the attention of everyone in the fast food eatery. "What are you guys doing to my baby?"

Kim kept one eye on Ron as he engaged in a debate over the new menu item with Ned. Monique shifted back to their conversation.

"Well, if the direct approach won't work, you could try giving him subtle hints," the Club Banana manager said drawing another look from Kim. "Okay, not my best piece of advice. We're just over thinking things. Stick with the direct approach."

"Maybe you're right," Kim said leaving room for Monique to give her a look of her own. "Okay, you're probably right."

"And here's your chance to prove it," Monique said standing up just as the blonde haired sidekick arrived at their booth with a tray of food. "Gotta run. Oh, by the way, Ron, Kim's got something she wants to say."

Walking away, Monique flashed a toothy smirk to a wide-eyed Kim as Ron took his seat.

"What's up K. P.?" Ron said wasting no time in chowing down. "This isn't about that biological experiment I helped your brothers with, is it?

"No...," Kim started nervously. "Wait, what biological experiment with my brothers?"

Ron choked on part of his naco coughing violently. It took a hard shot to his chest from Rufus to clear his throat. The blonde stuttered searching for a plausible cover story while getting a stare down from his girlfriend. Nothing believable came to mind.

"All I can say is avoid your bathroom for a couple weeks... At least until after the germination cycle."

Kim groaned as she rubbed her temple. As gorchy as whatever was happening in her bathroom, she had more important matters to deal with.

"Ron, what I wanted to talk to you about is us," Kim said timidly. As expected, Ron almost choked on another bite of his naco. Kim quickly continued. "But not in a bad way. It's just that now that we're dating, I thought maybe we could start going on actual... dates."

"But we do dinner at Bueno Nacho and a movie all the time. That counts, right?"

"Well, yeah. Sorta. Not really. I'm talking about going someplace special."

"K. P.," Ron said defensively. "Bueno Nacho is special."

"Oh, and you're right, but Bueno Nacho is just regular special. I want to go someplace special special."

"Special special?" Ron asked. "Okay."

"Ron!" Kim whined. "What's wrong with... Wait. Did you say 'okay'?"

"Yep," said Ron unwrapping a complimentary guaco naco. "My bon-diggity lady wants to shake things up a bit? I'm down with that."

"Spankin'..., I guess," the redhead said cracking a smile at the ease at which she was able to convince her boyfriend. For once, Ron had agreed to a change without making a scene. Well, almost...

"Ewwyuck!" Ron gagged spitting out his guaco naco. "One thing I am not down with is the guaco naco! Excuse me; I have to go make a scene."

With that, he left Kim to sulk as he went to track Ned down at the front counter.

--

The portly business assistant looked at the document in his hands and sighed. He hated the constant stream of bad news it was his responsibility to disseminate. Thankfully, his boss wasn't a tyrant, but that didn't make the job any easier.

"Come in," the company founder said noticing his assistant hovering in the doorway.

"I've got the final report on the De-Atomizer, Mr. Hench," the assistant said entering the room and taking a seat.

"You mean there was something left to analyze?" Jack Hench said with a touch of shock.

"No," countered his assistant. "But we were able to get some good data from satellite scans."

"And?"

"Well, readings showed that it was functioning normally... Until, of course, it blew up."

"Do we know the reason why?"

Before the assistant could answer, the call box on Hench's desk buzzed.

"There's a Dr. Drakken on line two for you, sir," the secretary announced. Hench shuddered in anger.

"Yippee," he said through clinched teeth before hitting the button for the speakerphone. "Jack Hench."

--

"I want my money back!" Drakken yelled into the phone cradled between his ear and shoulder. The blue-skinned villain was precariously balanced on top of a ladder attempting to secure a tarp over the gaping hole in his lair's roof.

"In order for me to give you a refund, you would actually have to pay for something," Jack sighed.

"Don't get technical with me, Hench," Drakken growled nearly losing his balance. "Your De-Atomizer Cannon was defective. It blew a whole in my roof the size of Cleveland."

"That's about the size of the hole you and that Shego woman put in our warehouse when you stole it," Hench countered.

"Is this your idea of customer service?" Drakken asked jerking suddenly as the ladder swung out from under him. With uncharacteristic agility, he desperately latched onto the edge of the tarp leaving him dangling in the air.

"For you to be a customer, you have to buy something first," the Hencho founder said with his patient waning.

"Ah, ah! I bought the Attitudinator from you, remember?" the evil genius said as he heard the tarp begin to tear.

"Really? I remember your check bouncing," Hench countered.

"So you admit that I intended to pay!"

"That wasn't my point..."

"I demand to know what you're going to do about this!" Drakken shouted as the rip in the tarp slowly began to give way.

"Nothing," Jack said with a smirk that he shared with his assistant.

"What?! This is no way to treat an alleged customer!"

"So sue me!" Hench declared before slamming the button to disconnect.

Drakken gasped at the sound of dial tone forgetting about his situation.

"No one hangs up on Dr. Drakk-eeaaan!" he screamed as the tarp finally gave way swinging him at high velocity into the wall. The wall cracked on impact, but held together. A groaning Drakken slid down the side before landing in a clump on the floor - the tarp floated down on top of him.

After a minute or two of groaning and struggling, Drakken emerged from under the remains of his makeshift roof.

"'So sue me!'" Drakken sneered as he dusted himself off. He picked up the remnants of the phone with disdain before tossing the pieces aside. A couple deep breaths seemed to calm him down.

"Sue me...," he said again with a half-chuckle. Slowly, the anger turned to thought which turned into serious consideration. Finally, the evil glint returned to his eyes as a sinister grin crossed his face.

--

"He didn't even realize he was accidentally trying to conquer Paris, Texas until after Kimmie had lassoed him!"

The henchmen of Local 417 exploded into laughter at their newest member's story. Even the two synthodrones let out monotone 'ha, ha's' at Shego's anecdote.

"Shego!" Drakken hollered from a large hole in the side of the lair. "Quit fraternizing with the help and get up here!"

"Actually," Shego sassed as the men began to line up behind her. "I've sort of been elected their spokesperson."

A series of unintelligible grunts and growls emanated from the evil genius's lips as his blue skin turned purple.

"I don't have time for this," Drakken gritted through his teeth. "I've just had my most diabolical plan ever!"

"Well, you heard the man," the union spokeswoman said. "He doesn't have time for us. I wonder if Dementor is hiring...?"

"Arrgh! Okay! What do you want?"

"A dental plan, bonuses, and flex hours," Shego confidently stated.

"And a karaoke lounge," one of the henchmen whispered to her.

"Absolutely not!" she bristled flashing her plasma. The offending hench quickly zipped up.

"I understand the dental plan and the bonuses, but what the heck is a flex hour?" the blue-skinned villain inquired.

"Don't know, but it's on the signs," Shego responded holding up a 'Flex Hour Freedom!' poster. Their employer took it all in as he appeared to be formulating a response.

"Hrrmm..., I'll spring for the dental plan and tack on casual Friday," he offered. The henchmen instantly began buzzing with serious consideration.

"Stick together boys," Shego commanded. "He's just lowballing."

The villainess's words calmed the men down winning their resolve. Employer and employees now locked in a staring contest - eyes narrowing and sweat forming beads on foreheads. Nature around them silenced as the tension built until finally...

"Fine! I'll give you everything," Dr. Drakken conceded. Celebratory shouts and high fives broke out amongst the men. Even Shego enjoyed the moment, but it was short lived. "Now back to work! The lair's not going to clean up itself."

"Sorry, boss," said one of the larger henchmen calmly. "But we're taking our flex hour."

With that, the henchmen of Local 417 dispersed leaving their employer to steam with clenched jaw and fists in the rubble of the collapsed wall.

"She-Go!"

She wanted nothing more than to join the henchmen on their flex hour - maybe hit the tanning bed - but that wretched little voice in the back of her head stopped her. Normally she wouldn't think twice about pushing her boss's buttons and leaving him to stew, but sometimes even she had to have a little sympathy for him. She didn't know why, but she blamed Hego for pushing his goodie-two-shoes lifestyle on her growing up.

"Calm down, I'm coming," she moaned as she made her way up the hill and through the rubble back into the lair. Once inside, she silently followed Drakken into the kitchen. As the blue-skinned villain began rummaging around in a cabinet before producing a phonebook, Shego decided to grab a beverage from the refrigerator. She watched as he flipped through the pages obviously not finding what he was looking for.

"You know they alphabetize those things, right?" Shego said popping the top of her bottle.

"Yes!" Drakken defended trying to make it look like he hadn't forgotten that fact.

"Okay, I know I'll regret asking, but how does the phone book fit in with taking over the world?"

"Oh, we're not taking over the world."

"We're not?!" Shego said coughing on her drink.

"No."

"But if we're not taking over the world, how is this your most 'diabolical' plan ever?"

"Because," the mad scientist said with an evil grin. "We're going to need a lawyer..."

The bottle Shego was holding fell to the ground shattering glass and splashing liquid everywhere. The former hero was left speechless.

The anticipatory tingle started in Kim's gut the moment Ron said he had special plans for Ron Night. It built through lunch causing her to loose her appetite - not at all a bad thing considering the cancellation of the senior menu in the cafeteria. Afternoon classes were wasted with great delight speculating in her mind on all the wonderful places Ron could be taking her. By the time she was putting up her books after school, the redhead had worked herself into a nervous, but excited, frenzy. The squeals of joy she shared with Monique over the news didn't help to calm her.

Kim's regard for traffic laws on the way home was spotty at best. She sped most of the way, blew through a couple yellow lights, and made a rolling stop at a stop sign before making it home in near record time. Mrs. Dr. P. caught her on the stairs as she flew by and instantly recognized the look on her daughter's face. The Possible matriarch set out to run interference on her father and brothers allowing Kim to primp uninterrupted.

The teen hero took a quick shower before examining every inch of her face for potentially inflamed pores; her teeth received similar treatment. She wished that Ron had announced his intention earlier in the week so she could have worked in a quick eyebrow wax at the mall before she set about the chore manually. With a towel still wrapped around her hair, she evaluated each item in her closet coming up with a no, no, no, maybe, no, gross, no, I thought I gave that to charity, no, maybe, what was Nana thinking, and when did Ron leave the Fearless Ferret costume in here? No, wait. Why did Ron leave the Fearless Ferret costume in here?

The standard garments being essentially rejected, Kim looked herself in the mirror to bolster her confidence. It's our first date..., officialy..., again..., she thought. I think that calls for the big guns.

Kim pushed aside the unwanted outfits to reveal the palm scanner at the back of her closet and placed her hand on top. With a woosh, the secret compartment opened revealing the white and blue battle suit. The seventy-five million dollar project was quickly tossed in the same discard pile as all her other clothes as she got her hands on the original reason for the construction of her secret compartment - her little black dress.

The accessories and matching heels were quickly found. Make up, though rarely used by the teen and conservatively if so, was applied with the desired result. Some extra care was spent on her hair to give it extra bounce and she was down the stairs just in time to collect Ron and save him from Black Hole Talk version 2.0.

She was a bit disappointed he hadn't dressed up to the level that she had, but wrote it off in an instant. She tossed him the keys to the Coupe and promised to keep her eyes shut until they got to wherever they were going. The redhead's stomach fluttered with each turn and stop as she fought the temptation to open her eyes. She kept them shut even as the Sloth's power cells shut down and Ron helped her out. She kept them shut even as they walked through the parking lot to the front door. She kept them shut even as the smell of burnt cheese filled her nostrils. She kept them shut even as the sound of arcade games rattled her eardrums. She kept them shut even as she heard a goofy cartoon voice say, "Welcome to J.P. Bearymores!"

Most would call it denial. Kim called it giving the benefit of the doubt. Ron's idea of special special could not be a place built for the twelve and under crowd. Ron was just pulling a practical joke. Or he was running an errand. Yeah, that was it. He had secretly been working there and was just picking up his check so he could take her on their real date. What a relief!

"Okay, Kim, open your eyes. We're here!"

She kept them shut.

--

Whack!

Whack!

Whack!

Rufus gulped. He wanted to flee for the safety of Ron's pocket but he was too terrified to move. He could only watch as his human's mate unleashed a volley of hits against his defenseless brethren. One by one, they would pop out of their holes only to be viciously slammed by a mallet wielded by the cheerleader's combined speed and strength.

With a final authoritative 'thwack!', Kim finished her third perfect game of Whack-A-Mole in a row. As she set down the mallet, the machine began to print her tickets which went uncollected. Sighing, she turned around and leaned up against the game and scanned the crowd for her boyfriend before finding him lining up another shot at Skee-ball. For an older game not involving a joystick and zombies, he turned out to be rather skilled at it as evidence by his own pile of tickets.

"Oh. No. He. Didn't," Monique said as she joined Kim in the Whack-A-Mole corner. The raven haired beauty crossed her arms for emphasis.

"He did," Kim groaned.

"I…, He…, You can't just…, Oh! That boy's got me speechless!"

"You seem more upset about this than I am."

"You sure about that?" Monique countered pointing to Kim's pile of uncollected tickets. "If I were you, I'd set him straight ASAP."

"I thought about it, Monique, but I don't think it's a good idea."

"Um, what?"

"Look, Ron's there for me when I need him to be. And he's trying. That's good enough for me. But dating? It's just not in his skill set," Kim said reflectively. Monique shifted to give her BGFF a look over for a moment.

"You want me to pull him aside and give him a crash course in romance, don't you?" she asked fiendishly.

"Show no mercy," Kim said eyes narrowed. A moment passed as Monique began plotting out her lesson plan. Kim decided on a change of topics. "So, what exactly are you doing here? On a Friday night?"

"My car broke down," Monique said snapping out of her thoughts.

"Your car broke down? How would that mean…"

"Hey, car monkey!" Tim called with a giant stuffed bear in his arms.

"We're bored! Time to go," Jim finished dashing towards the door. Monique bristled giving her friend a harsh stare.

"You could have warned me, Kim," she said before marching out the door to fulfill her contractual obligation. Despite her sympathy for Monique's situation, Kim had to suppress a smile.

"Hey, was that Monique?" Ron said sliding up beside Kim with his hands behind his back.

"Sadly, yes," Kim said flatly.

"You know, we should find her a boyfriend. I wonder if Josh…," Ron stopped mid-sentence as his girlfriend gave him a sneer. Sensing a threat to his survival, he quickly changed the subject. "Hey! Look what I got you."

From behind his back, Ron presented Kim a small plush animal. Kim's contempt instantly melted as she took the creature in her hands. The creature's armadillo head flowed into its duck shaped body producing a form that only a Cuddle Buddy Collector could love.

"Remember when we came here one time when we were ten and you tried to get him but didn't have enough tickets…,"

"…And you gave me your tickets but I still didn't have enough. And then you promised one day you'd get him for me…," Kim said staring at her new armaduck (or duckadillo depending on which side one took after the great Cuddle Buddy Naming Rift of 2002).

"Better late than never, huh?"

Kim bit her lip as she looked at the enigma that was her boyfriend before gathering him in a warm hug. Capable of such an incredible gesture while at the same time committing such a colossal blunder, it couldn't be called romance. A more fitting term would be Ronmance. And it was beginning to grow on her. As Kim broke the hug, she was about to make a mental note to call off Monique and her crash course, but before she could commit any brain cells to the idea, they were interrupted.

Beep-beep. Ba-beep, the Kimunicator chimed. Ron fished it out of his spare pocket and handed it over to Kim.

"What's the sitch, Wade," Kim said with contented smile.

"Just giving you an update on…," the boy genius started before noticing what he was seeing. "Are you at J.P. Bearymore's…? In a dress…? On a Friday night?"

"Yeah, what's the big?"

"Well, you're smiling…"

"I'll take credit for that," Ron said pushing his way onto the screen.

"Right," Wade said regretting he brought it up. "Anyway, update on Drakken. You're never going to believe this."

"Do we ever really believe anything when it comes to Drakken?" Kim mused.

"Good point, but this is completely whack, even for him," said the tech guru. A couple of taps of his key board pulled a live television feed onto the Kimunicator's LCD.

"My next guest…," said the typical talking head cable news host. "…you may remember as the mastermind behind the 'lil Diablo disaster and from his guest appearances on shows like Evil Eye for the Bad Guy and Happy Time Corner, Dr. Drakken."

Kim and Ron looked quickly at each other mouths open then back to the screen to see their arch foe in a neck brace seated next to an oddly familiar young man.

"Joining him is his attorney, Hank Perkins."

"Glad to be here," Hank said cheerfully.

"For the record, I didn't willingly appear on…," Drakken started before his lawyer covered his mouth with his hand.

"Let me do the talking…," he whispered to his client. Drakken was visibly miffed by the gesture, but appeared to silence himself.

"Now, you're here tonight because you are suing Jack Hench and Henchco for damages stemming from the failure of a De-Atomizer Cannon. Is this correct?"

"It is, Bill," Perkins began. "We feel the Mr. Hench and his company as a whole should be held liable for the damage caused by their product and the suffering it has brought to my client."

On cue, Dr. Drakken nodded his head looking as much like a scolded puppy as someone as evil as him could.

"Okay," the host responded. "What about the charges that your client stole this De-Atomizer Cannon in a plot to take over the world?"

"Bill. Bill. Bill. That's just Henchco spin trying to shift blame away from themselves. My client didn't 'steal' the De-Atomizer so much as he took it for an unauthorized free trial. And haven't we all tried to take over the world at some point? Just because my client didn't technically pay for the product doesn't mean Hench shouldn't be held accountable for manufacturing flaws does it?"

"I can see your point," the host said sharply. "Thanks for coming. In our next segment, we'll have a workplace advocate on to explain a new trend called the 'Flex Hour' and what it could mean for you."

"Wait, that's it?" Dr. Drakken managed to say before Wade cut off the transmission.

"Okay, he's officially lost it," Kim said in semi-shock. "It's an open and shut case. Drakken didn't know how to use the De-Atomizer and it blew up. You were up there with him, right Ron?"

"Um, yeah," the blonde replied with a nervous tick in his voice. Both Kim and Wade looked at him with a touch of suspicion. "Open and shut. So why hasn't this case been dismissed?"

"Because everyone's entitled to their day in court," Kim groaned. "Even Drakken."

"I'll keep an eye on this for you Kim," Wade said.

"Please and thank you…"

--

The plush interior of the Henchco corporate waiting room was sophisticated yet comfortable. Soft music played to ease those that had to wait. The secretary typed away and answered the phone. Kim made the most of her time as she scribbled away on her math homework. Ron made the least of his by looking over a brochure.

"Did you know," Ron began reading it aloud. "That Henchco has been the leading supplier of the world's super villains for the last fifteen years?"

Kim, for the most part, ignored him.

"That's longer than we've known each other! And look at this: every Henchco Henchman® goes through a boot camp that's tougher than the Marines!"

"So that's what makes them so tough to beat," Kim said dryly without looking up.

"And it doesn't stop there. They put more money into genetic research last year than all of Europe combined."

"Let's hope that doesn't come back to haunt us…"

"Mr. Hench will see you now," the secretary said politely prompting Kim and Ron to pack up and move towards the CEO's door.

The two teen heroes stepped into the office to be greeted by Jack Hench who rose to shake their hands.

"The venerable Team Possible," the arms dealer said warmly. "Thanks to your work, super villains across the world are spending like never before.

"Our pleasure," Kim understated.

"By the way, did you get our 'thank you' gift basket?"

Kim's eyes narrowed as she released the handshake.

"No," the redhead said confused. "You sent a 'thank you' gift basket?"

"Funny," Hench said giving his assistant a glare. "I could have sworn we did..."

--

"I have a package for a Kim Possible," the deliveryman said. "Say, would that be the Kim Possible?"

"No," said Jim sarcastically.

"You want the other Kim Possible down the street," Tim finished.

"Just sign here," the package handler grumbled. Jim grabbed the clipboard and signed as Tim took the large basket wrapped in plastic and ribbon.

As the deliveryman returned to his truck, the twins took a closer look at the package. Their eyes sparkled as they saw an assortment of hand held blaster rays, incendiary devices, illegal decoders, and other forms of villainous gear.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Tim asked.

"That Kim's never going to get this basket?" Jim answered.

"Hicka-bicka-boo…"

"Hoo-sha!"

The twins darted back into the house with nefarious intent. Moments later, a small explosion blew the garage door into the street.

--

"Okay, I have no idea what this is, but I want one," Ron said looking over a small radio controlled robot. Mr. Hench walked over and enthusiastically picked it up going into full demonstration mode.

"It's called the Infiltrator – the first product out of our new corporate espionage division. Send it into your competitor's ventilation ducts and it gathers everything you need to know about their business."

"Coolio! Does it work?"

"Tested flawlessly in the real world. What would you like to know about Pop Pop Porter's new line of Meals on a Stick?"

"Everything," Ron said breathlessly.

"Ahem, hate to be rude," Kim interrupted. "But we're skipping our lunch break at school. Could we get to the reason you called us?"

"Of course," Jack said setting the Infiltrator down. "I called you because I need your help again."

"Unless it's converting your operation to peaceful applications, I doubt it."

"Please, Ms. Possible, hear me out. Would you say that you've dedicated your life to justice?"

"Yes," Kim said.

"And that if someone were falsely accused of something and you knew the truth, you wouldn't hesitate to set the record straight?"

"Yes," Kim said again through clinched teeth. She knew were the sleazy businessman was headed and she didn't like it.

"Excellent, then you'll testify on our behalf against Dr. Drakken over this whole De-Atomizer nonsense," Hench said. Ron's head jerked to attention. Kim remained stoic.

"No."

Hench looked to his assistant in shock before turning back to the teen heroine.

"But, Ms. Possible, it's just not...,"

"Sorry, Jack-baby," Ron nervously cutoff Hench wrapping his arm over his girlfriend's shoulder and swinging them both towards the exit. Kim gave him a suspicious look but went with it. "But Kim said no and she's in charge. Gotta respect a girl with principles. Oh, look at the time, we'd better run..."

With no warning, the two teens collided with a hulking mass of a man with no neck filling out an extremely tight business suit. He glared down at them as his hairy knuckles clasped two brown envelopes.

"I'm sorry it had to come to this," Jack Hench said menacingly.

The hulking man handed Kim and Ron each an envelope. The blonde and the redhead opened them quickly before looking at each other in shock. Kim spun to face Hench eyes blazing.

"You subpoenaed us?!"

"You left me no choice," Jack said with a sly smile. "See you at the trial."

--

The late afternoon sun was losing its power as it slid towards the horizon. The Middleton High football players were thankful for the break in the heat and that practice was winding down. Releasing her squad earlier, the cheer captain had remained behind to proudly watch the football team's newest star take reps at running back. Only the familiar beep of her all-purpose communication device could grab her attention away from her boyfriend.

"What's the legal sitch, Wade?"

"Hench's lawyers dotted every 'i' and crossed every 't'. You and Ron have to testify."

"Great," Kim groaned. "Are you sure there's nothing you could hack or some loophole we could use to get out of it?"

"Sorry, Kim," Wade said sympathetically. "I've checked. Besides, I already used up my one ethically questionable deed for the month."

Kim raised an eyebrow at her tech guru before she ventured a guess.

"New tracking chip for Ron?"

"The real-time telemetry is..."

"I think I'd like to be kept out of the loop this time. Thanks anyway, Wade," Kim said before tossing the Kimunicator onto her gym bag. She had no chance to turn back to watch practice before practice came to her.

"Kim! Look out!" a fully padded Ron exclaimed barreling towards her after just catching a pass near the sideline.

Fortunately, the redhead's lightning quick reflexes allowed her to flip backward off the bench into a backflip and away to safety. Unfortunately, she cleared a spot on the bench for Ron to get a gutful of pine knocking the wind out of him before he slid to the ground.

"Ron! Are you okay?" Kim shouted as she quickly knelt beside her boyfriend.

"Aside from my internal organs being rearranged, I'm fine," Ron barely managed as Kim helped him up. Still in pain, the blonde removed his helmet but otherwise showed no ill effects. As the two teens began to engage in conversation, neither noticed a shady set of eyes watching them from under the bleachers.

"So," Ron said getting his breath back. "What do you think of the new offense, K.P.?"

"I think it could be better…," Kim said. Ron looked a little hurt. The redhead moved closer putting her arm over his shoulder before continuing. "…if they started handing the ball to their star running back more."

"Ah, you don't really mean that," Ron blushed looking away from Kim. She responded by grabbing his chin and forcing him to look at her.

"Oh, but I do," she said. Eyes locked, bodies leaned, and lips puckered before...

The shrill scream of a whistle jarred the two teens back into the real world.

"Possible!" Coach Barkin barked. "I haven't spent all week trying to toughen up your boyfriend for the big game on Friday only for you to make him go all soft again!"

"Sorry, Mr. Barkin," Kim said making herself as small as possible.

"Okay, time to hit the showers," Barkin declared sending the football team off the field and to the locker room, some of them snickering as they past the two teens much to their embarrassment. Soon, Kim and Ron were alone.

"Sorry if I got you in trouble with Barkin," the cheer captain said.

"Eh, it's nothing new... Wanna hit Bueno Nacho in an hour?"

"Can't; family game night with Larry and Aunt June," said Kim with narrowed eyes. Ron faked some sympathy before she pecked him on the cheek with a kiss.

"See you tomorrow," the redhead said before collecting her gym bag and heading back to the school.

The blonde let out a contented sigh as he watched his BFGF saunter away unaware of the eyes that were watching him. Picking up his helmet he began to stroll back to the locker room. As he entered the walkway under the bleachers, a set of hands popped out of the shadows holding a small canister of Kissy Girl lip gloss. Before he could react, a purple hazed rushed into his nostrils. The boy's body went limp falling forward only to be caught by another set of hands that dragged him into the shadows.

Having watched everything take place, the shadowy figure slowly revealed herself by stepping out of the darker corners of the bleachers. Seeing the methods used by her conspirators quickly sent her into a panic.

"Jim! Tim!" Monique started. "I just wanted you to capture him, not knock him unconscious!"

"Hey," Jim said with annoyance. "You're not our only client, you know."

"Wade contracted us to install Ron's new tracking chip," Tim smiled holding up what looked like a modified staple gun.

"Ron can't know about it…"

"Hence: knock out gas!"

"Okay…," Monique said. "But why would Ron need a secret tracking… Never mind, I answered my own question. Let's just get him to my car before anyone sees us."

--

Slowly, light began to trickle into his eyes. As the blur slowly began to fill in, Ron noticed several things. First, he was in someone's basement. Second, he was tied to a chair. Third, there was an annoying stinging sensation at the base of his neck.

With his senses restored, he began to run down the who's, what's, and why's of his kidnapping. Drakken immediately sprung to mind, but he would have been there when he woke up to gloat, so he was out. Dementor was a possibility, but he would be in a much nicer setting. Monkey Fist would have been more theatrical when he captured him so he was out as well. The Seniors would have left him dangling over some nasty peril so it couldn't be them. But before he could cross another villain off his list, the basement's door swung open.

The stairs creaked and groaned as his captor descended methodically towards him. Ron instantly recognized the stylish Capri's as none other than his girlfriend's best girl friend's. Monique half glared and half smirked at him as she hit the bottom of the stairs and faced her captive.

"Okay," Ron began in near panic. "I don't know what this is, Monique, but if this is some desperate ploy to win my affections, I'd like to remind you that I'm dating Kim."

"You call what you two are doing 'dating'?"

"Yes... Okay, there are some gaps we could fill in, but I don't see how that involves you taking me prisoner. Besides, if Kim were upset about things she'd...," Ron paused as the realization hit him. "She'd tell you every detail, wouldn't she?"

Monique nodded empathetically.

"Oh, man, I really messed up, didn't I? Kim must think I'm the worst boyfriend ever."

"So, do I have your attention now?"

It was Ron's turn to nod. Satisfied with his sincerity, Monique untied him.

"Good, then I expect you here after school everyday. I'm going to turn you into a lean, mean, romance machine..."

--

"Our top story tonight," started the national news anchorwoman. "Is the sensational trial opening today in Middleton between evil genius Dr. Drakken and businessman Jack Hench. We now go live to the courthouse steps to Action News correspondent, Ray Porter."

--

As he began his report, the courthouse steps behind Ray were a surging mass of his fellow journalists and cameramen shoving and shouting for the chance to get a question to the major players. Team Drakken pushed their way through the crowd pleading for space for the 'injured' mad scientist to climb the steps. Hank Perkins cheerfully shouted the typical statements of confidence in their case. Shego occasionally flared her plasmic abilities to ward off any microphones from being shoved in her face.

At the top of the steps, Jack Hench's high-powered defense team congregated together a much less appealing target for the beat reporters. They watched with mild annoyance as a second swarm of hard-hitting journalists formed as Kim and Ron arrived at the courthouse.

--

The courtroom sketch artist quickly began drawing Dr. Drakken, neck brace, crutches, and all as he took his place on the stand. The bailiff moved to administer the oath.

"Please state your name for the record."

"Dr. Drakken."

"I'm sorry," the judge interrupted. "But evil aliases are inadmissible. Please give us your full legal name."

Drakken soured and grumbled but quickly remembered where he was. Still, he was hesitant.

"Drew Polonius Lipsky..."

A wave of laughter swept through the courtroom. Before the judge could restore order, Kim, Ron, and Shego all stole a look from each other knowing they would get a lot mileage out of that little tidbit. Drew Polonius Lipsky scowled.

"Order," the judge said with a final bang of his gavel. "Bailiff, proceed."

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?"

"I do," the evil genius said with a grunt.

"Your witness, Mr. Perkins," said the judge. Hank sprung from his seat and crossed the room to his client.

"Dr. Dra... Er, Mr. Lipsky, was this the first time you've used a Henchco product?"

"No."

"What other products from the defendant have you used?"

"Objection," called one of the high-powered attorneys for Henchco. "Is this relevant?"

"It goes to establishing Henchco's history of shoddy workmanship, your honor," the young attorney answered.

"Make it quick," the judge cautioned. "The witness may answer the question."

"I was given a free demonstration of the Attitudenator at the Villains Expo in Middleton last spring."

"And what did Mr. Hench guarantee it would do for you?"

"He guaranteed it would make me absolutely evil."

"But what happened instead?"

"It made me..., good."

Hank glanced at the jury to see raised eyebrows and notes being scribbled down. They appeared to be buying what he was selling.

"Now, could you describe the events leading up to the malfunction of the De-Atomizer Cannon?"

"Yes," Drew began as he turned to address the jury with doe eyes and as much pain in his voice as he could muster. "I was just about to conquer..., I mean, bring a new order of peace and tranquility to humanity..."

--

Drakken's lair looked bright and cheerful and well kept instead of its usual dark, dank, and dingy. At the controls of the De-Atomizer, an amiable looking Drakken smiled as he operated the levers. Behind him, two synthodrones with shock sticks guarded a handcuffed Kim and Ron.

"So, what do you think of my latest plan?" Drakken asked as he turned towards the teen heroes who, instead of looking defiant or amused, looked fearful

"How could we ever think we could defeat your genius?" Kim said.

"Have mercy on us in your impending reign," Ron added.

Before Drakken could smile any wider, Shego joined them on the platform and handed him a tall glass with a dark liquid inside.

"Here's your Cocoa-Moo, Dr. Drakken," Shego said happily. Drakken took a satisfied sip before turning back to his doomsday weapon.

"Now, all of you shall bear witness to...,"

Before he could continue, a shrill siren interrupted him as the cannon began to hum with an impending overload.

"Warning! Overload eminent! Refer to product manual for proper operation parameters. If problems persist, call the Henchco Customer Service 800 number. Standard rates and tolls apply."

Panic swept through those in the lair as it became every man, woman, synthodrone, and mole rat for them self.

"Someone get me the phone!" Drakken shouted.

"There's no time, we gotta go!" Shego yelled back as she followed Kim and Ron off the platform. Drakken slid down the ladder and, in a panic, scanned the lair for the phone. Finally spotting it, he ran as fast as he could towards it...

--

"And did you make it in time?" Perkins asked delicately leaning on the witness stand. The jury leaned off the edge of their seats. Drakken turned to them directly to give his greatest performance.

"No...,"

The jury leaned back obviously lending sympathy to the blue skinned villain. Some looked towards Hench and his attorneys with a touch of contempt in their eyes. For his part, Hench crossed his arms and rolled his eyes.

"Your witness," Perkins said before taking his place at the plaintiff's table. Hench's attorney rose but did not move from behind his spot.

"Mr. Lipsky, if you've had such a horrible track record with Henchco products, why do you continue to steal them?"

"Objection!" Perkins shot up.

"Sustained," the judge said.

"No further questions," Hench's attorney said confident he had made his point.

--

"Please state your name for the record."

"Shego."

"Again," the judge said. "Your legal name please."

"That is my legal name," Shego bristled. "My brother had us legally change to our 'hero' names when we were kids for 'team unity'."

"Very well," replied the judge with a nod to the bailiff.

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever."

"Miss Go," Hank Perkins said rising from his chair. "Would you please tell us about when you picked up the De-Atomizer Cannon from Henchco for your unauthorized free trial?"

"If you insist..."

--

The warehouse floor of Henchco Industries stretched as far as the eye could see. Various forms of doomsday weapons, armored vehicles, and evil contraptions filled the floor. Three figures, dwarfed by the monstrous surroundings, approached the De-Atomizer Cannon.

"So," Dr. Drakken said reading a fancy looking brochure. "Can it really break the sub-molecular bonds?"

"Yes," Jack Hench sighed with annoyance. Hoping to help complete the sale, Hench's wiry chief scientist chimed in.

"The beam can be focused as small as a human hair or as wide as a city block and hit a target up to fifty miles away..."

Drakken wrung his hands with glee.

"What kind of payment options do you have, Hench?"

"Cash. Only."

The blue-skinned villain briefly looked miffed at such a restriction but quickly forgot it.

"I'll take it!" he declared with a wide grin. At first, Hench and his scientist raised their eyebrows in shock, but as Drakken remained nearly motionless, both men looked confused. After a moment of nothing happening, Drakken's grin faded.

"Excuse me," he said before walking a few steps away and turning his back to them. They watched as he got out a cell phone and began to whisper angrily into it. Finishing his private tirade, the evil genius rejoined his hosts wearing another fake smile.

"I'll take it!" he said again.

This time, his words were followed by a ceiling-shattering boom. Twisted metal, insulation, and other debris rained down. Through the smoke and dust, Drakken's henchmen slid down ropes dangling from several black helicopters. As Hench quickly moved to get his security team, his chief scientist tried his best to flee. He got no more than five steps away before a green and black blur seized the front of his jacket.

"Where's the manual?" Shego growled in his face.

"What do you mean?" the terrified scientist asked.

"You know, the manual..., with the instructions!"

"There isn't one."

"What do you mean there isn't one?!"

"Mr. Hench spent the whole print media budget on the brochures," the man explained holding up the glossy fact-filled flier.

"Shego!" Dr. Drakken called from his perch on the De-Atomizer Cannon. "Time to move!"

With an evil smirk, Shego tossed the poor scientist aside and began to sprint towards the now stolen property.

"Later, Jacky-boy," Shego said with a sadistic wave as she passed Henchco's owner before leaping onto the cannon. The helicopters throttled up and with a tremendous groan, lifted the De-Atomizer Cannon up into the night sky.

--

"A powerful doomsday weapon but no instruction manual," Hank Perkins said dramatically to the jury. "I have no more questions."

The members of the jury looked towards Jack Hench with steely eyes. All the world's leading supplier to super villains around the world could due was duck his head and rub his temple.

"Does the defense have any questions for the witness?" the judge asked.

"We do not, your honor," Hench's lawyer said quickly standing and sitting.

"Very well, court is adjourned."

--

A legal assistant held the conference room door open for Drakken to limp through on his crutches. Shego and Hank followed him in. No sooner had the door closed than did the blue-skinned villain dump the crutches and toss his neck brace aside.

"We really creamed them today, Perkins," an excited Drakken said, emphasizing his elation by wrapping his arm around his lawyer and giving him a squeeze.

"We sure did," Hank blushed as he extracted himself from the embrace.

"And cue the impending failure," Shego said dryly from one of the plush leather chairs. The villainess swung her feet onto the table and began to sharpen her gloves.

"Were you even in the same courtroom, Shego?" Drakken objected. "Why the pessimism?"

"Oh, nothing much except your long track record of blowing it."

"Actually," Hank interrupted. "We may be able to quit while we're ahead."

Both Shego and Dr. Drakken looked at him with interest. The young lawyer pulled a card from his jacket and scribbled a note on it.

"I just fielded a generous settlement from Hench's attorneys," he said handing the note to Drakken. The mad scientist looked at it with contempt.

"Not interested," he said. Immediately, his henchwoman snatched the note out of his hand. As soon as she saw the figure written on it, she turned to her boss in utter disbelief.

"Are you insane?! Wait, don't answer that. But remember how you wanted to take over Canada? With this kind of cash you could buy it!"

"As your attorney, I must urge you to take this deal," Perkins pleaded.

Drakken walked away from them with a grunt.

"Hench dangles a little carrot in front of our noses and you both want to bail? Show a little backbone. We've got them on the run! No deal."

Hank hung his head. Shego made a rare consolation patting him on the shoulder.

"I tried," she said.

Monique watched her pupil with steely eyes waiting for his response. Four days of intensive instruction on the in's and out's of romance had taken almost as much toll on her as it had on Ron. For his part, he had tried his best to absorb what the raven-haired beauty was trying to teach him, but between football practice, Drakken's trial, and homework, patience was a valuable commodity for both teens at that point.

Ron squinted his eyes as a bead of sweat rolled down his forehead. His mind ached to find the answer. His gut told him one thing, his heart another. Rufus, standing on a stool next to Monique, quivered with exhaustion hoping for his human to answer so he could put the flash card down.

"Ron...," Monique prodded. "The Lowerton Cheese Symposium."

The blonde's lip quivered. He knew what the right answer was now, but to say it would leave him a feeling of betrayal. But under his friend's piercing stare, he couldn't hold out any longer.

"Not romantic," he finally cracked. Monique made a mark on her clipboard as Rufus grabbed the next card marked with the words Chez al la R'orange. This time, the answer came more quickly.

"Romantic," Ron said confidently. Monique made her marks again and Rufus grabbed the next card: Candlelight.

"Romantic."

The next card read Gazeboes.

"Romantic."

Role Playing Games.

"Not romantic," Ron grumbled.

Giving Kim Flowers for No Reason.

"Very romantic."

Cow'n'Chow.

"Not romantic."

Rufus held up the final card: Talking About Your Feelings.

"Romantic," Ron said through his teeth. Monique made her final mark and began to tabulate the results. When she finished, she looked at Ron who was nervously waiting for his grade.

"Ron," Monique said adding a dramatic pause. "You passed."

"Boo-yah!" he exclaimed.

"But your not done yet. There's still one more test."

"What's that?"

--

The gentle glow of candlelight flickered in the transformed basement in Monique's house. Bed sheets covered up the junk and boxes being stored away. In the middle, a space had been cleared for a table and two chairs. A couple candles and some wine glasses added an elegant touch.

Two teens descended the stairs both dressed nicely. Monique wore a dress with a simple cut, but its vibrant red matched her to-much-for-you-to-handle-boy personality. Though the temptation to break out his powder blue tux was great, Ron managed to dust of his old spy suit from mentor week. And as an added touch, his hair was neatly slicked back.

At the bottom of the steps, the duo stopped at the makeshift host stand and were greeted by a young man half their height.

"Good evening," Jim said in an oversized tuxedo. "Do you have a reservation?"

"Stoppable, party of two," Ron said smoothly. Kim's younger brother grabbed a pair of menus and escorted them to the table. Taking the initiative, Ron pulled out Monique's chair. The Club Banana manager blushed as she sat.

"Before you say anything," a young man who looked like Ron Stoppable in many respects, but was acting nothing like him said. "That the candle light makes your eyes sparkle."

Monique blushed again and batted her eyelashes completely caught off guard by her pupil's compliment. Before she could respond, a second young man in an ill-fitting tux approached their table.

"Thank you for joining us tonight," Tim said with an almost sarcastic grin. "I will be your waiter. Our featured items are a delectable veal marsala served over angel hair pasta and grilled salmon with a teriyaki demi glaze."

Smoothly and confidently, Ron looked towards his 'date' and then back to Tim.

"The lady would like to try the salmon and I will order the veal."

"Excellent choices, sir," Tim said before sliding away.

Ron leaned back with one arm draped on the top of his chair looking as suave as a secret agent. Monique had to keep reminding herself that this was only a test.

"Would you care to purchase a rose for your date, sir?" Jim asked holding a bouquet of fresh red roses.

"Of course," Middleton's newest lady-killer said. Jim handed him a rose, which he immediately handed to an impressed Monique.

"Can this night get any more romantic?" Monique asked.

"I believe it can," Ron said with a snap of his fingers. They were soon joined on the tabletop by a naked mole rat in a red tuxedo brandishing a miniature violin. Once again, Monique gawked as the tiny rodent began to play. Ron had obviously done his homework.

Dinner was served shortly thereafter. The conversation remained light and jovial. The evening was capped off by a slice of chocolate smothered cheesecake. With the date concluded, Monique conferenced with Jim, Tim, and Rufus in the corner of the basement. As Ron waited nervously, he ruffled his hair back into its normal position and undid his bow tie. It didn't take long for the verdict to come in.

"Ron," said Monique as she broke the huddle and stepped towards him. "Whatever you do, don't tell Kim, but if she were ever crazy enough to split up with you, I just might be tempted to take you for myself. Congratulations, you've graduated Dating 101."

"Have fun on your dates with our sister," Jim said mockingly before joining Tim in dramatic gagging noises. A stern look from Monique sent them flying up the stairs. The young woman gave Ron another smile before starting for the steps herself.

"Now go find Kim and make me proud."

"Hey, Monique," Ron said stopping her on the second step. "Thanks."

"It was no big," she said with a shrug before resuming her climb.

--

Everyone in the courtroom stood at attention as the judge made climbed up to the bench and took his spot.

"Be seated," he ordered. "Is the defense ready to proceed?"

"We are, your honor," Hench's lead attorney responded. "We would like to call Kim Possible to the stand."

A slight murmur passed through the courtroom as the redhead got up from beside her boyfriend and her parents and made her way to the witness stand. Although she looked somewhat cross for the intrusion the trial was having on her life, the bailiff swore her in without incident and Hench's legal team took over.

"If it pleases the court," he began. "We would like Ms. Possible to be recognized as an expert in the field of super villain behavior."

"Any objection from the plaintiffs?"

"None, your honor," Perkins said quickly. Next to him, Dr. Drakken was once again in his neck brace and cast giving the teen hero on the stand a sneer.

"Very well, let the record indicate the witness as an expert. Proceed, counselor."

"Ms. Possible, in your experience, what are some of the reasons for a super villain plot to fail?"

"Well," Kim sighed. "Most of the time I would say incompetence."

"And in the case of the plaintiff?"

"I'd say all of the time."

"Now, Ms. Possible," Jack's lawyer said crossing the courtroom with a photograph. "Do you remember this device?"

Kim took a closer look and had no trouble recognizing it.

"Yes, that's the ray gun Drakken built using the Pan Dimensional Vortex Inducer."

"And what was its intended purpose?"

"I believe he was going to blast Ron and me into oblivion with it."

"What did it do instead?"

"It sucked all of us into a dimension consisting of popular television shows."

"Is this kind of improper use of equipment common place by Mr. Lipsky?"

"All the time."

"And who would you say, then, is responsible for the failure of the De-Atomizer Cannon?"

"Objection!" Hank said standing up. "That's leading the witness."

"I'll rephrase. In your expert opinion, Ms. Possible, is the plaintiff's incompetence responsible for the incident in question."

"One hundred percent positive."

"Thank you. I have no further questions."

"Mr. Perkins?" the judge asked prompting Hank to his feet.

"Ms. Possible, could you recount exactly what you were doing at the time the De-Atomizer Cannon began to overload?"

Kim raised an eyebrow, as did many others in the courtroom. It seemed like a bad move on Hank's part to have her tell the jury what she had seen, but she began her answer anyway.

"Well, it just another normal mission..."

--

"Oh look, Kimmie, they're just your type," Shego said with a twisted grin. Kim shuddered with rage as she turned away from the quartet of synthodrones and charged her nemesis.

"Did I hit a nerve?" the green skinned villainess asked as she blocked Kim's attack.

"They are NOT my type!"

"Oh right, you've moved on to lame sidekicks. Speaking of, how is rebound boy?"

"Ron is SO not a rebound!"

"Denial? Party of one?"

If she hadn't been having so much fun coiling Kim with rage, Shego would have taken advantage of the teen crime fighter's anger dampened moves. Instead, she kept up her verbal spat content to just go through the motions of fighting.

"Seriously, what is with you two? Are you for real? The tabloids all say you haven't even gone on a date yet..."

Each woman through a series of punches in close quarters each, blocking the other by grabbing onto her opponent's fist. With neither letting go, each began to wrestle for domination.

"What are you, my sister all of a sudden?" Kim asked with a grunt.

"Look, princess," Shego retorted similarly strained but breaking the deadlock in her favor. "All I'm saying is I don't get you two, that's all."

"I don't have to justify our relationship with you," Kim spat back as she turned the tide back in her favor. "Ron and I are...,"

The shrill shriek of a siren cut her off before she could finish as red lights began to pulse throughout the lair. They were accompanied by the all too familiar hum of a doomsday device that was about to have a power overload.

"Warning! Overload eminent! Refer to product manual for proper operation parameters. If problems persist, call the Henchco Customer Service 800 number. Standard rates and tolls apply," a computer voice calmly stated...

--

"So, for the record," Hank asked. "You didn't actually see the De-Atomizer overload?"

"N-no, but...," Kim hesitated.

"Then how did you know that it was my client that was to blame?"

"Well, I..., uh..."

"No further questions," Perkins said letting the teen hero's uncertainty play for the jury. Drakken resisted the urge to jump to his feet and gloat in Kim's face but instead gave a smug look to Shego. His employee rolled her eyes and went back to filing her gloves.

--

Ron Stoppable tried his best to hide his shaking knees and hands as he took the witness stand. He nervously glanced past the bailiff to his now sulking girlfriend join his and her parents in the gallery. He was so absorbed in what they would all think after he was finished that he almost forgot to confirm the oath with an "I do."

As Hench's lawyer went through the procedure to have him declared as an expert witness on the subject of breaking doomsday weapons, Ron glanced over at Dr. Drakken sitting smugly at the plaintiff's table. Much of the legal system went well beyond his range of understanding, but the blonde knew that after Kim's debacle on the stand, he was now the last line of defense against Drakken winning big.

"Mr. Stoppable," the high-powered attorney said bringing Ron back into the moment. "When you join Ms. Possible on your 'missions', what are your primary roles?"

"Well," Ron gulped. "I normally provide the distraction so Kim can take on the bad guys. Then I go try to take out whatever doomsday device Drakken's trying to use to take over the world."

"Uh-huh, and when you encounter a device built by the plaintiff himself, how hard are they to deactivate?"

"Not hard. I normally just kick it or trip over a cable or something."

Ron's answer brought the sneer back to Drakken's face. He wanted to jump up and shout 'objection!' and defend his craftsmanship, but Hank had made it clear beforehand such outbursts would be frowned upon.

"And what about equipment you encounter on your missions built by Henchco?"

"Well..., now that I think about it, they're normally pretty tough to break."

"Thank you Mr. Stoppable. Now would you please tell the jury what you saw on the day of the incident in question?"

"Why would they need to know that?" Ron asked with a cracked voice.

"Because this is lawsuit about what happened to cause the De-Atomizer to malfunction."

"Young man," the judge said firmly but not harshly. "I'm afraid you're going to have to answer the question."

Ron's mouth felt as parched as a desert as he looked out into the gallery and locked eyes with his girlfriend. His avoidance of the question had definitely set off her weird-ar as evidenced by her raised eyebrow.

"Mr. Stoppable," Hench's attorney prompted forcing Ron to turn his attention back to him. The blonde realized he no longer had any choice.

"Okay, here goes. I had just started to look for an 'off' switch..."

--

On top of the platform, Ron held his fist under his chin tapping his foot as he looked over the De-Atomizer Cannon controls. The noise of the exposed gears of the cannon spinning what appeared to be a magnet around a focused beam of light did not help his concentration.

"Why is there never a properly labeled 'off' button?" he said before giving a shrug and proceeding with his standard procedure for disarming doomsday devices: messing with everything.

"Halt, buffoon," ordered a monotone Synthodrone 887 as he landed with his three counterparts on the control platform. Ron spun only to be horrified by what he saw. He was now surrounded by his third worst nightmare right behind a national ban on cheese and his girlfriend melting into green goo at prom.

"Syntho... drones...," he barely whispered.

Four sets of glowing green eyes locked onto the sidekick as the drones advanced steadily towards him. The blonde's muscles began to freeze as he tried to yell for help but couldn't. The situation looked dire as the artificial henchmen tightened their formation before a loud, though high-pitched, growl stopped them. Leaping out of his human's pocket, Rufus shot like a missile across the ground towards to Synthodrone 887 - his front teeth glistening like daggers ready to bite. The naked mole rat coiled and jumped towards his target expecting to hit pay dirt, but instead hitting glass. Two tiny-gloved hands slammed the lid of the jar over the top and screwed it shut.

"Not this time, weasel thing," Drakken sneered holding his irate little captive to his face. Rufus shook his paw at the evil genius and angrily squeaked something that sounded like 'It's mole rat!'. Dr. Drakken ignored him and turned back to Ron. "Game over, buffoon!"

"Ah, come on... Back to buffoon?" Ron replied as his feared turned to annoyance. "Is a little consistency in name-calling too much to ask for?"

"I'll call you whatever I want when I'm ruling the world! Get him!" the self-proclaimed doctor said redirecting his synthodrones to attack Ron.

The synthodrone closest to Ron lunged at him attempting to grab him in a bear hug. The sidekick ducked out of the way just in time. The goop filled goon's momentum carried him forward and impaling him on one of the De-Atomizer's levers. Green ooze poured out of both holes withering the synthodrone's shell.

As Ron turned back to see the other three drones stalking towards him, he spotted Drakken by the platforms railing holding the jar with Rufus gloating over his impending victory. Ron Stoppable, sidekick, stepped aside letting Ron Stoppable, star running back take over, sprinting, juking, and spinning his way to the blue skinned villain.

"Give him back!" Ron demanded as he collided with Drakken. The evil genius somehow managed to hold his ground putting a hand in Ron's face and keeping Rufus's jar out of reach.

"886, go long!" Drakken shouted before hurling the jar of naked mole rat like a football. Planting an elbow in the self-proclaimed doctor's chest, Ron pushed off to chase down the 'pass' like a receiver. The shove teetered Dr. Drakken over the edge of the platform. At the last second, he barely managed to grab the railing saving himself from a nasty fall.

Luckily for both Ron and Rufus, Drakken's wobbly throw wasn't going very far, though, it was headed for the open circuitry of the De-Atomizer. As a stretching Synthodrone 886 reached for the makeshift football, Ron timed his jump perfectly, bumping the drone out of the way, and intercepting his glass entombed buddy in the nick of time. The blonde tucked the jar under his arm and rolled to a landing. He popped up in the heat of the moment ready to rub it in the synthodrone's face only to watch the poor drone get caught in the gears of the De-Atomizer's spinning magnet. Ron's grin flattened as he watched the former synthodrone's body jam the gears with green goo. The magnet stopped spinning and the all too familiar hum of a doomsday device about to overload filled the air.

Drakken, having just pulled himself over the railing, did not see the termination of Synthodrone 886 and failed to notice the De-Atomizer's malfunction, the loud hum, or the smoke. He did see Ron holding the jar with Rufus in it.

"Ha!" Drakken declared as he snatched the jar back and hoisted it over his head. "You thought you could outplay me but..."

"Warning! Overload eminent!" the computer voice interrupted.

--

The judge banged his gavel several times in an effort to quiet the gallery's reaction to Ron's bombshell. Ron looked to Kim expecting some form of disproval but instead found her wearing a little smirk. Shego wore a similar smirk, but for obviously different reasons. Drakken, on the other hand, was anything but amused. All Hank Perkins could do was rub his temples.

"Order!" the judge said bringing silence back to his courtroom. With the crowd hushed, he turned to Ron. "Young man, would you care to explain why you didn't come forward with this sooner?"

"Uh, well," Ron stammered under the pressure. "I was afraid that when Drakken or Hench found out it was my fault, one of them would sue me instead."

"Sue you?" Jack Hench interjected. "I should send you a gift basket!"

"Don't even think about it!" Kim countered from the gallery.

"This court is still in session!" declared the judge with another bang of his gavel. "At least momentarily. However, in light of this new testimony, I have no choice but to dismiss this case."

The Henchco legal team was immediately swept up in congratulatory handshakes. The mood on the Team Drakken side was sharply different. The blue-skinned villain ripped his neck brace off and threw it to the ground.

"This isn't fair!" he shouted as he began stomping on it repeatedly. "I demand justice! Why must I always come... so... close..."

With a final stomp that amounted to more of a bunny hop, Drakken realized everyone in the courtroom had been watching his outburst including the judge.

"Mr. Lipsky," he began sternly. "Either you've just made a miraculous recovery from your injuries or you've been lying about your condition to this court. Bailiff, take custody of Mr. Lipsky on the charge of perjury and contempt of court."

--

"Are you serious?" Monique asked as she continued to fold the latest shipment of designer pants for sale at Club Banana. "He actually cried as they drug him out of the courtroom."

"Yeah," Kim said leaning against the display. "Kind of hard to have respect for him as an arch foe after seeing that."

"I hear you. And what about Ron?"

"Well," Kim sighed. "I'm a little disappointed he didn't speak up sooner, but I can understand why he didn't."

"Actually, I meant to ask if he's asked you out on another date?"

"We're going out tonight, actually," Kim said less than enthusiastically.

"And what's wrong with that? I thought you didn't care how you spent your time together," Monique prodded.

"The Lowerton Cheese Symposium started today."

Monique grimaced.

"I should probably get going anyway."

"Call me with the details," Monique requested drawing 'whatever, okay' look from Kim. As soon as the redhead exited the store, the young woman dashed to the register and retrieved her purse.

"Sandra," she hollered to the back room. "Family emergency. I've got to run!"

Not waiting for a reply, the raven-haired beauty dashed out the front.

--

Crickets serenaded the first comfortable night of Fall. Bathed in moonlight, two figures stopped at the base of a tree.

"Okay, Kim, you can take it off," Ron said holding her hand. With the other, Kim removed the blindfold. Her eyes adjusted and she quickly realized where they were.

"The tree house?" Kim asked skeptically, though she was completely relieved they weren't going to the Cheese Symposium.

"Trust me, K. P.," Ron said seriously before beginning to climb up. Kim sighed, but followed.

As soon as she poked her head through the floor, her heart jumped into her throat. Candles lit the tree house in a warm glow. In what little space there was, a small table was set for dinner. Rufus was dressed to the nines ready to server them.

"Oh Ron," Kim cooed as she finished climbing in. "What's all this?"

"Somebody may have clued me in that J.P. Bearymore's isn't the best place to take your girlfriend on a date," Ron said standing by the tree house's only window. "I hope this makes up for it."

Kim smiled softly as she crossed the floor to reach her boyfriend.

"Ron, you don't have to get all romantic for me to love you. All I care about is spending time with you. It doesn't matter how we spend it."

"Really?"

"Well, that doesn't mean I don't want you to be romantic sometimes," Kim said as she wrapped her arms around him. "But this is a good start..."

A chorus of 'boo-yahs' rang through Ron's head as Kim completed the hug. Ron glanced out the window and locked eyes with his dating mentor. He gave a thankful smile and a 'thumbs up' before hugging his girlfriend back.

On the ground below, Monique sighed with satisfaction at a job well done. Then she sighed at the realization that she now had nowhere to go and nothing to do for the rest of the night. However, a small rustle in the bushes seemed to be a good starting place.

"It's not working," Jim said tapping the base of his long-range microphone.

"I think the batteries are out," Tim said removing his earphones.

"Would either of you two like to explain to me what you're doing?" Monique said startling the twins, though they quickly recovered.

"Spying on the kootie festival up there."

"What does it look like we're doing?"

"Well, we would if someone had brought spare batteries..."

"Okay, time for Plan B."

"What's Plan B?" Monique asked. The two carbon copy brothers smiled nefariously.

"We made a couple modifications to Ron's tracking chip before we planted it."

"Real-time satellite feed. What Ron knows, we know."

"We just have to pull up the data stream back at our house. Wanna come?"

"Oh, please," Monique scoffed. "I'm not that desperate."

Jim and Tim looked at each other confidently before eyeing Monique again. It wasn't long before she cracked.

"I'll drive," she said before the twins scrambled out of the bush towards her car, leaving Monique alone with her thoughts for a moment.

I have got to get a boyfriend, she thought before chasing off after Kim's brothers.

As soon as the cell door slammed shut, Dr. Drakken used his tiny hands to grab on to the bars.

"I demand to take my flex hour!" he sneered pressing his face into the bars.

"Welcome back, roommate!" the annoyingly familiar voice of Frugal Lucre called. Drakken immediately slumped.

"So, what did they bust you for this time?"

"I'd rather not talk about it, Lucre."

"Oo! Did you try to take over the world with some diabolical scheme?"

"Hrmm..., no."

"Held some world leader for ransom?"

"No."

"Stole something really valuable and heavily guarded?"

"NO!"

"Attempted to blast your likeness into Mount..."

"Perjury and contempt of court! If you must know," Drakken shouted turning back to address his cellmate.

"Ooooh!" Lucre began with genuine reverence. "Taking it to the system!"

"I guess you could call it that," the evil genius said calming down.

"I tried to take on the system one time. Did I tell you about it?"

"Yes. Every meaningless detail. Several times."

"Okay, so there I was: Team Possible trapped in my mother's basement..."

With a groan, Dr. Drakken turned back to the cell bars and banged his head into them as hard as he could hoping that the rattling of his skull would block out the sound of Lucre's voice.

And now a special sneak peek at Ultimate Naco Topping's Kim Possible: the Freshman Fifteen! All events take place after Graduation...

--

"Four guys to one bathroom?!" Ron whined as he and Kim entered Go City University's Anderson Hall. "Even I think that's disgusting."

"It's the same way in the girl's dorm, Ron," Kim countered as they entered the lecture hall hand-in-hand.

"Yeah, but it's a proven scientific fact the girl's bathrooms are never dirty."

Both teens paused at the enormous scope of what laid before them. Their first day of college had more than demonstrated to them that the life they knew at Middleton High was never to be seen again. The two hundred-seat auditorium was nearly full forcing them to head for the undesirable front row. Neither liked the prospects of being taught College Physics in an atmosphere that amounted to a pep assembly.

"So who's teaching this class, anyway?" Ron asked as he caught the eyes of several of his fellow football recruits.

The first week had been extremely tough on all of them as they learned they were no longer the best player on their team. The freshmen players had to bond together for support if they hand any hope of one day starting for one of the premiere programs in the country. Between Ron's mad running away skills and the now well-publicized fact of him dating Kim, he had built a tremendous amount of street-cred with his teammates in very little time. The players gave him the customary nod from across the room, which Ron returned as manly as he possibly could.

"Don't know. The schedule just says 'staff'. So, I'm guessing we'll see the professor the first day and the T. A. the rest of the semester," Kim replied trying to find a familiar face in the crowd.

Unfortunately she did. The disapproving looks from her fellow underclassmen cheer squad mates made her almost release her grip on Ron's hand. He may have been on the football team and considered by many a great addition to the team, but to those in the social 'know', he was still an outsider. As if friends on the squad weren't hard enough to come by, Kim was surrounded by girls who had moves nearly equal to hers and were motivated by a cutthroat competition to make the final squad. Kim squeezed Ron's hand harder as they passed before finally making it to the bottom row and taking the first available seats.

Kim pulled out her notepad and her pen ready to take the first notes of her college education. Ron set about trying to coax the swinging table out of the side of his chair. With no luck, he gave up.

"So," he began casually. "Who do you think the first villain of the semester's going to be?"

"Probably not Drakken. He's still on his book tour."

"And it can't be Monkey Fist."

Kim tapped her pen to her chin in thought.

"I'm going with the Seniors. They're due. Who are you taking?"

"Hmm, even though I won last year with Professor Dementor, I think I'm going to go out on a limb and pick Killigan."

"You are so wrong," Kim joked.

"Wanna bet?"

"The usual?"

"You know it...,"

Their conversation, along with every other one across the room, came to a sudden halt as the doors at the base of the auditorium swung open dramatically. Two hundred sets of eyes turned to see an unusual looking man walk into the room. Some snickered at his short stocky appearance, his yellow skin, his flamboyant outfit, and his metal headgear. Others were horrified. At least two students seemed greatly annoyed by his entrance.

"Should've stuck with Dementor," Ron cursed himself as both he and Kim jumped into battle stances.

"What a coincidence," Kim said going into hero mode. "Ron and I are going back to school and you're going back to jail."

Dementor abruptly stopped looking shocked and confused by the sight of his sworn schoolgirl enemy and her alleged boyfriend.

"I would like for someone to be explaining to me the meaning of this," Dementor said as his confusion converted anger. "Myron!"

The ill-tempered villain's wiry brother-in-law awkwardly shuffled into the room, loaded down with several books and a large stack of papers. Dementor turned to address him in a more hushed but still upset tone.

"What are my sworn enemies doing here in my classroom?"

Myron, trembling under the weight of the books and papers, had trouble coming up with an answer. Kim and Ron both quickly looked at each other to see if they had just heard the same thing.

"Wait," Ron said. "Your classroom?"

"Yes, my classroom, this is College Physics, is it not?" Dementor inquired.

"Okay," Kim interjected. "Are you saying that you're teaching our class?!"

"That is correct, frauline. And am I to be believing that you are taking this class?"

"Hold the phone!" Ron jumped in. "I'm confused. I thought you just called yourself Professor Dementor because it sounded cool."

"Incorrect. Unlike some super villains who give themselves fancy titles for dramatic effect, my professional title was legitimately earned! And in order to keep it current, one must teach a minimum number of hours at an accredited university."

The blonde and the redhead were utterly stupefied; their jaws were agape as they digested the incredible fact that one of their arch foes was now going to teach them college level physics.

"Now, if you two are through with your silly distractions, you may take your seats. Myron! Commence with the distribution of the syllabus!"

As Professor Dementor proceeded to the chalkboard to begin writing the relevant class information, Kim and Ron became painfully aware of the other one hundred and ninety eight pairs of eyes looking at them with contempt and annoyance.