AN: These chapters take place before One Word Joke, but you should probably read that first. There are some unconventional pairings in here (i.e. 13xD) but all chapters will end with pairings as they are at the beginning of One Word Joke (i.e. Noin might be with an OC at the beginning of her chapter, but by the end she'll be with Zechs.)
Title: Ironic (Prologues to One Word Joke)
Chapter: 1/8
Author: Dancho
Chapter Rating: R
Pairings: 13x/+11, brief 13+D
Disclaimer: Own nothing… I live in a box and wear a barrel.
Summary: Lady Une and Treize Khushrenada, opposing young and restless leaders, find happiness in the most dangerous of people.
Warning: Slightly evil Treize warning, one unusual pairing, and drug usage. Death of unimportant characters. Bi-sexual Dorothy but that's not a big deal in this chapter. Really long. Really.
Mine Field
"How are things progressing?" Treize asked the man on the other end of the phone line.
"I've found quite a few who are willing to follow you."
"A majority? Of their own free will?"
"Yes… on both counts."
"Good, good. Have you received the files I sent you?" There was a slight pause when the other man did not respond. "Septum?"
"Sir, I don't mean to… Are you sure this is a good idea?"
"Are you questioning me?" Treize asked, his voice holding a note of amusement in it.
"No, sir!" came the hasty reply. "I just thought… that we might be pushing ahead too early."
"Time is not the issue here, Septum. My father is incompetent, unfit to lead even. If I have the support and ability to lead, how long I wait will not matter. What I need to do is strike while I am still in control. And, as we both know, that may change shortly. My father is finally growing aware of my disobedience and, if he should throw me out, I will lose some support, which will go to his new heir. So you see, now is the time to strike."
"I received the files three hours ago."
"Perfect. And?"
"I have received confirmation that his guards are not loyal to him. I've also been tracking his movements and know his planned locations for tomorrow. I've sent you the list."
"Excellent. I'll have the rest of your money waiting at the airport for you once the job is complete and I've officially taken over," Treize decided, before hanging up. "What an obnoxious and cowardly man."
Treize frowned for a moment before pressing the button to lower the soundproofed window that separated his words from his driver's prying ears.
"Otto?"
"Sir?" Treize's driver replied, looking at Treize through the rear-view mirror.
"In case I forget, which I don't imagine I will, remind me that Septum is due for an accident. Somewhere remote," Treize sighed, taking out a cigarette and lighting up. Taking a deep drag, Treize looked out the window and exhaled the cancerous smoke. "Possibly Tibet. How does that sound?"
"Very good, sir," Otto nodded and continued driving, trying to ignore Treize's slight chuckle, which bothered him a bit.
The next day, Treize arrived at his father's office and came in to find his father watching television
"Treize? Why are you here?" His father asked, looking up. Treize looked at his father for a second, cocking his head to one side, as if considering something. Finally shaking his head, Treize pulled a gun out of his pocket and, without another word or fanfare, shot his father between the eyes, coldly watching as the man fell over dead, a look of shock and anger just beginning to form on his dead face. Turning to the guards, Treize placed the gun on the desk and waited for them to respond. They didn't.
"You were dismissed by my father for a few minutes and when you returned he was dead. No one was here at that time and you don't know who did it. Is that clear?"
"Yes, Treize-sama," the shorter oriental guard replied with a bow.
"Good. Have his body removed and instruct the secretary to arrange for a quick funeral. Then you may all have the day off."
"Thank you, sir," the two guards bowed, before turning to leave. Catching the oriental guard, Treize pulled him to the side for a moment.
"I have a certain man I need taken care of in a few days. Can you help me?"
"Certainly, Treize-sama." The man smiled and Treize smiled back.
'I've won.'
"Treize here."
"He's becoming a problem," Alberta Johnson began, without introducing herself.
"Who?" Treize asked as he looked at his lover who was lying next to him, her eyes closed and her breathing even.
"That asshole from Special Ops. Colonel Harmonyship or something."
"Peacecraft," Treize corrected her with a sigh.
"Who cares? What's important is that he's getting in my way. Korosu's been complaining lately as well."
"And what do you expect me to do about it?"
"Fuck if I know. Does he have family?"
"That's disgusting, even for you," Treize frowned, as he moved Dorothy's arm from where it lay draped across his chest and sat up. Getting out of bed, Treize began to put on a clean set of clothes, while Johnson formulated a different idea.
"I've tried bribes and threats, but he's such a righteous hard ass. Nothing seems to work. I mean, fuck this shit; I'm sick of screwing around with him. I've tried to be nice and understanding, but now? Now I want someone dead. And if you won't even consider taking out whatever family he's got, it'll have to be that goddamned colonel that goes."
"You sure?" Treize asked, running a comb through his hair.
"Yeah. Can you find someone?"
"Of course. I'll send someone around by the end of the day for some equipment and their check. This job's going to have to be cash on the barrelhead, though. Money for the shot fired, whether it works or not."
"Whatever, Treize. Your attack dog better not miss, or we're all dead. Send your best," Johnson laughed, before hanging up. Closing his cell phone, Treize pulled on his coat and looked down at his lover, who was awake and watching him.
"Well? I assume you overheard."
"Is my acting really that pathetic?" Dorothy asked, smiling slightly.
"I know you, that's all," Treize shrugged as he sat down on the bed, with his back to her. "Well? What do you think?"
"I'm honored you think so highly of me, Treize," Dorothy smirked secretly as she pulled on her dressing robe and got out of bed. "If you saw a river flooding a town, would you dam it up, or change its course?"
"If you don't agree with me, you could just say so," Treize sighed, before meeting Dorothy's eye in the mirror and nodding a farewell. Dorothy watched him leave in the mirror and waited for the sound of the front door closing and Treize's car roaring out of the driveway. She studied herself for a minute before opening her mouth to speak to the empty room.
"Once upon a time, there was a whore, who met the man who ran part of a large crime organization. He was a very generous man who believed that a man would do what he had to do to achieve their goals. However, he hated hurting innocent people. The prostitute was very vicious and believed that sometimes the perfect end could only be achieved through harming innocents around your target.
"One day they were shown a policeman whose only goal in life was to pursue justice for their kind. When asked what should be done, the man chose to remove the detective from the equation completely. However, the prostitute would have killed a member of the officer's family in order to control the policeman's actions from then on. Who do you think was wiser, Treize? Is it better to have a puppet or a void?"
After changing out of her traditional black dress and into a set of running clothes, Une pulled on a set of running shoes and quickly re-braided her hair and slipped on her glasses, before walking out to the track field to stretch and run laps. She'd just gone to pay her respects to Colonel Peacecraft before his body was buried in his family's plot two states away. Une had been surprised to see his wife there, mostly because no one had known he was married.
Colonel Peacecraft had been very careful about his family and had successfully severed any ties with them to keep them from being harmed by his work. There had even been rumors, probably true, that Colonel had erased any ties with his family using the government's computers, making it nearly impossible to find them.
Shrugging her shoulders, Une put those thoughts from her mind and started to jog around the track. She just couldn't stand thinking about the Colonel's brutal assassination, which she had witnessed. As she jogged around the track, Une saw one of the lesser agents coming towards her. She slowed to a walk and allowed the man to join her.
"Agent Une," the man greeted her and she nodded in return. "I'm glad I found you. I looked for you at your office, but Agent Po said you'd be here."
"Is there something you need?"
"It's a message. You've been promoted."
"Promoted?" Une asked, coming to a complete stop. "Promoted to what?"
"To a Colonel. That is, you've been given Colonel Peacecraft's job. Congratulations, Agent… er… Colonel Une."
"Con… Congratulations?"
"What? Isn't that great? No more field duty for you."
"That… that… THAT SON OF A BITCH!" Une roared, storming off the field, leaving a surprised agent in her wake.
"Well, I have to be going," Dorothy sighed, as she pulled on her jacket and grabbed her purse. "I've got to meet a contact before ten."
"That leaves you… less than twenty minutes," Treize reminded his ex-lover as he led her to the door.
"I won't be late; I'll just…" Dorothy started, but trailed off when a blond maid crossed the hall and went into the kitchen. "Now that's an attractive woman. What's her name?"
"Katelyn. She's the new maid. I still can't believe you stole my last one."
"Poor baby. I'm sure Katelyn is enough to more than replace Relena. You are screwing her, aren't you?"
"Dorothy! That's so vulgar!"
"I do run a prostitution ring. But really, when was the last time you got laid? I don't even want to think about you all alone and masturbating. Now that is vulgar," Dorothy replied with a shudder.
"I don't masturbate and I'm taking a break from relationships. That's all."
"Doesn't mean you can't have fun. Here," Dorothy smirked, pulling a card out of her purse. "It's a new club downtown. It's a good place. Just because you're off the market doesn't mean you can't look."
"I'll think about it."
"There you go. Now I've got to speed," Dorothy called as she jogged out of the house and into her car. Closing the door at the sound of Dorothy's engine revving, Treize turned the card over in his hands and frowned.
'Thirty years ago, people like me would be too scared of the cops to go down to this club. I guess I should take advantage that the SOU knows it can't remove one of the Romefeller heads without just making more problems for themselves,' Treize sighed, as he slipped the card into his pocket and went up to his room to shower.
After his shower, Treize pulled on a set of jeans and a sweater, before grabbing his cell phone and wallet and heading out the door. He handed the card to his driver and directed him to drop him around the corner. He didn't want to create a stir unnecessarily. The drive wasn't long and Treize dismissed his driver, saying he would call a cab home.
It was easy to get inside the club once he introduced himself to the two bouncers. They had bother worked for Romefeller previously. The inside of the club was filled with people, dancing and drinking. It was a bit grunge and Treize felt a little out of place in his own attire, but no one commented. He could feel the crowd trying to pull him onto the dance floor, but he resisted and slowly made his way to the bar, where he bought a water.
Glancing around the club, Treize almost did a double take at one of the women he saw in a corner.
'If that's not Colonel Une, I need to get my eyes checked,' Treize grinned, as he made his way towards her. 'This might actually be fun.'
"Hey!" Treize called to Une when he reached her side. "Where's your boyfriend?"
"None of your business."
"I only ask because it's rude of him to leave such a lady by herself."
"I'm not with anyone."
"I just assumed you were with another because of your beauty. I would gladly be your companion for the night."
"I'm not interested, thanks. Go find yourself a prostitute if you want some."
"I must decline. I apologize; it was not my intention to offend you… might I have your name?"
"My name is Lady."
"Lady. My name is… TK."
"Did your parents stick you with such a name?"
"In a sense."
"And I thought my name was odd," Une laughed.
"May I have this dance?"
"If you wish," Une replied and the pair allowed the dance floor to envelop them.
"Hey Lady," Treize smiled as he approached Une and moved to kiss her on the cheek. Turning her face away, Une grabbing his hand and led him through the dance floor. She opened a door and took him to an empty stall in the lady's room. Once she was sure the rest of the bathroom was empty, Une kissed him soundly and Treize responded in turn. Kissing his way down her neck, Treize inhaled sharply when she moved his hands to her butt before letting her own trail under his shirt.
"Lady?"
"We've been dating for almost four months," Une whispered, her hands running up and down his chest muscles. "It's not like this is fast or anything."
"You're sure?" Treize asked, as he avoided her searching lips.
"Always the gentleman," Une smiled, kissing his firmly. "Just go with it."
And he did. Running his hands under her skirt, Treize found her already ready and wet. Gasping as he slipped a finger into her, Une helped Treize free himself and pressed a condom into his hand. The rest of the coupling was quick, as Treize slipped the condom on and entered Une. Pressing her against a wall, Treize thrust into her and Une used gravity to meet him halfway. It was over sooner than Treize would have liked, but Une came with him and he supposed there would be other times. Disposing of the condom by wrapping it in toilet paper and placing it in the trashcan generally used for 'feminine products', Treize straitened his clothes and was about to turn back around to check on Une when her hands wrapped around his waist. He felt her face press into his back, but he waited for her to speak.
"TK. That stands for Treize Khushrenada, doesn't it?"
"You found out?"
"I got a little suspicious when you didn't want to pick me up at work, and you wouldn't tell me where you worked."
"Ah. Are you mad?"
"We just had sex, which generally doesn't show anger."
"Then why?"
"I like you. But I want you to know that, no matter what you say or do, my work is separate from my life. So don't think you can use me for anything."
"Okay and same for me." Treize nodded, before turning to face her. "We'll just not talk about our jobs."
"Agreed. But you know I don't approve… right?"
"What girlfriend would?"
Unlocking the door, Treize took off his coat and shoes before re-locking the door and searched the house. When he found it was empty, Treize consulted his watch a little worried. In their two years of dating, Une had never been this late. Shrugging, Treize walked down to the kitchen and looked around for a snack. All he found was pre-packaged popcorn. Treize frowned down at the directions for making popcorn, before returning his attention to the microwave.
'There's got to be a way to get the perfect batch,' Treize thought to himself. 'If Lady can do it, why can't I?'
Hearing the door open and close softly, Treize froze until he heard the shuffle of someone removing his or her shoes.
"Lady? Is that you?" Treize called as he left the kitchen and looked for her. He came into the living room and found her sitting on the couch with her face in her hands. "Is something wrong?"
Sitting down next to her, Treize looked at her closely and saw that she was crying. Her lip was bleeding a little from biting it so hard and her face was red and puffy.
"Lady?" Treize asked, placing a hesitant hand on her shoulder. Throwing herself against his chest, Une let out a strangled sob and Treize hugged her. "Are you hurt?"
Une shook her head and Treize sighed in relief.
"Is it work?" Treize asked and Une nodded causing Treize to frown. "Do you want to go to bed?"
Une shook her head, but offered no other suggestions, so Treize simply sat on the couch, holding her and occasionally stroking her hair.
"Treize?" Une asked, almost thirty minutes later.
"Yes?"
"I want you to know now, because I don't want it to ever be too late for me to tell you. I… I love you. I mean… you… you don't have to say anything in return. I just… I thought you should know."
Treize nodded slightly, still holding her, but he didn't say anything in response.