Ordinarily, every Sunday afternoon the members of Team 7 would meet in a chosen restaurant for an early supper and to spend a good part of the evening laughing over their meal and drinks. Even if the four could not all be present, whoever was not away on a mission would still go out not to break the unspoken tradition.
Tonight was no different than many Sunday's prior. Sakura was always the ever present member. Being a medic, most of her work revolved around being at the hospital and therefore she remained within the village most of the time. It never bothered her to be the one left behind. She had her place in the larger scheme of things within Konoha and she took great pride tending to those wounded while servicing their beloved village.
There had been plenty of Sunday afternoons that she found herself staying in because she was the only one not on a mission. Those weeks were hard for her. She looked forward to spending time with her adopted shinobi family since losing her parents to the last invasion of Konoha. Had Sakura not been at the hospital that night, she too would have suffered the same fate as her mother and father. She did not know whether it was a curse or a blessing to be the sole survivor of her family. It was something she had many years to think over, yet it was one of those thoughts she never liked to spend much time on.
Loneliness was not a stranger to Sakura. She found joy and comfort in those Sunday suppers with her boys.. whether it be spent with all or one of them. Tonight she found herself in the company of her former sensei, Kakashi Hatake. The boys had been out on a mission for the last month and Kakashi made it a point to be around so she did not have to spend their little get togethers at home reading a magazine while waiting for her nail polish to dry.
He was always very considerate of Sakura. Especially when it came down to her emotions. From the time she was a cute little 12 year old genin, Kakashi Hatake, a man who never felt the need to explain himself to anyone always did so for her. In his composure he was never a blundering fool around her, but something about Sakura always left him blurting out the answers she so desperately needed. For years he had chalked it up to the fact that she was always mentally and intellectually light years ahead of Sasuke and Naruto.
After several hours of what seemed like a never ending montage of food and drink, Kakashi insisted he walk Sakura home. Just as he or one of the others did every time they all went out. It wasn't done as a matter of protection. They did it out of respect for her. True she is a well seasoned kunoichi, but underneath it all she was still a lady. A lady that deserved to be treated as such in the presence of a gentlemen. When in good company that the conversation flows without any uncomfortable silences, who would want the night to end so abruptly after the check gets paid anyhow?
And so the two long time friends set out on their walk back to Sakura's place just as they would any other week.
"I'm so tired, Kakashi."
"Then you should make it a point to go to sleep as soon as you get home." He smiled back at her. His visible eye creased, indicating a smile under his mask.
"Baka." She blurted out. "That's not what I meant."
"Then why don't you tell me exactly what you mean, Sakura. I'm not good at reading minds, you know."
"Don't you ever get tired of going home to an empty house?" She asked him with one eye cocked to her side to see his expression as they continued to walk.
When his response came in the form of his eye roaming her face for a more detailed question, Sakura let out a short sigh before proceeding with getting to her point.
"As shinobi, we go on life threatening missions as a form of income, patriotism to our village, the thrill of risking our lives.. whatever reason we do it for; we just do it. During those missions, we spend a lot of time with people we know and consider family. The nature of most missions requires us to be stealthy and not make much or any noise." She paused for moment to gather her thoughts and catch her breath before continuing. "We do not waste any time in sharing affections for one another because it's unprofessional and creates an unnecessary risk to the entire team." With this, Kakashi nodded in agreement, but remained silent to let her finish her thought.
"What I am getting at Kakashi is, after spending so much time with people and feeling alone due to the circumstances, when you come home; do you ever wish you had someone there waiting for you- to talk to, to greet you, to welcome you home with open arms.. to ask you how your mission went?"
Kakashi's facial expression softened as his thoughts raced through his mind. As quickly as he let it show, his went back to his more stoic appearance. Sakura was taken back by his reaction to the question and wondered what it was he may have stumbled upon.
Was he really thinking about the question?
Did he have a real answer and an even better story to cover up how he really felt?
Was she prying to far into his personal space by asking such a thing?
Suddenly Sakura felt that maybe some questions should not be asked to certain people. Being the recluse Kakashi was well known to be, was he the wrong person to have this conversation with? And then her answer came.
"I find serenity in my solitude." Was the non-committal answer he decided to go with.
Not the answer Sakura was expecting. She was hoping for something more elaborate. Something a tad more personal that he felt free to share openly with her. That wasn't his style though and she knew it. How dare she think for a moment that she was going to be on the receiving end of something along the lines of a heart felt reply.
She was disappointed and it must have shown.
"That was some question there Sakura-chan. You must have had plenty of time to think it through." He floundered with his words trying to smooth over the conversation and lessen the tension his bland answer had caused. He nervously added, "None the less, it was good."
"Who are you trying to kid, Kakashi? If it was such a good question, you would have had a better answer then something you read in an academy text book some years ago." She snapped harshly back at him, stopping dead in her tracks. "Your answer was something as cold and impersonal as I would expect from Sasuke. Not you."
Kakashi stood and stared at her, tongue tied for a lack of a better response then his standardly issued; "I'm sorry, Sakura." Thinking better of how he should reply, he followed the apology up with "I suppose when you say that you're tired, you mean of having no one to talk to at home."
"Very." She answered curtly. Not wanting the night to end on a bitter note and try to make good use of Kakashi's stupendous attempt at clearing the air she toned her temper down several notches and dove in head first with sharing how she felt for so long.
"I know I may never be as strong as Sasuke or Naruto and I'm fine with that fact. I am an emotional being, as you well know."
Kakashi nodded in agreement while truly listening to what the pink haired kunoichi had to get off her chest.
Still stopped from walking, Sakura opted to stare aimlessly at her feet. "I spent much of my life facing up to so much rejection and let downs. I could never have the stamina and determination Naruto possesses; yet I pushed myself to be the personal best I could be. I devoted myself to Sasuke for so much of my teen years to only have him discard me like week old left overs in his fridge... And yet I held my head up high around him in self preservation. I always looked up to you and Tsunade and tried my best to please you both, so you knew your teaching efforts were never a waste of your time."
She let out a frustrated sigh as she looked up to face Kakashi.
"I'm not saying I am perfect; because no one really is. I just want some of the devotion I have put out there to be given back to me." She bit her lip and creased her eyes before finishing what she had to say. "I don't want to spend the rest of my life going home to an empty house."
Kakashi's heart clenched at words from the utterly honest woman that stood before him. Her tale of loneliness made him think how many times he himself had felt the same. He had never been one to wear his heart on his sleeve, but it certainly did not mean he never shared the same thoughts as her.
Not being able to shake the detached person he became so many years ago, he placed a hand on each of her shoulders and smiled under his mask.
"Someday Sakura, you will go home to find your house filled with the love and happiness you want and deserve."
Sakura cocked a disbelieving eyebrow up in the air.
"You know I adore you through and through Kakashi." She replied kindly to his reassurance. "But could you have come up with any more of a generic answer? I mean really, am I talking to Kakashi Hatake or a writer of greeting cards?"
He opened his visible eye a bit wider at her cutting words only to relax upon seeing her hand go to her mouth as she giggled like a little girl.
"Oh. You find this funny. I was being sincere and trying to instill some hope.."
She cut him off quickly as laughter erupted all the way from her belly and out of her mouth. "The thought of you writing greeting cards... that's just priceless! Maybe erotic greeting cards that are given out at a bachelor party. I could see someone more philosophical like Gai-sensei doing such a thing, but you? Never!"
Kaskashi started laughing out loud with her. Years of history between himself and his pupils, now turned team mates and friends had softened his stearn and structured persona around them. "Yeah. I can see him having his own line of cards and calling it 'Green Gai Greetings'." An accidental snort escaped his nose upon finishing his sentence.
With that, Sakura started laughing so hard her eyes were watering as she held her belly. It was a real laugh. Not one of those forced laughs that people do when they feel obligated to give a reaction to something another person is saying. It was as genuine as the bond these two shared with one another.
As the laughter died down and they resumed walking, Sakura turned to Kakashi and simply stated, "I can never grow tired of having you around."
"Awe, Sakura-chan. Even if in your mind I am only capable of dirty thoughts; you still would not get tired of me?" he reciprocated as she smiled with an affirmative nod. "I'll have you know though, I can be quite philosophical."
The thought of Kakashi's nose buried in his pornographic smut stories flashed in her mind as her eyebrow arched up in doubt. Perhaps he meant he was philosophical in a Larry Flynt sort of way. She was in no mood to ponder further into his meaning. Right now she just wanted to enjoy the rest of their walk and bantering.
A/N: It's a start.. I think ?? I have been sitting on this story for months now. I never got enough courage up to post it until I saw that the 'M' rated section for KakaSaku stories has not had anything new for days. I'm sure there are other reads out there (such as myself) looking for something new to read. Hope you enjoy it.