Disclaimers: as ever.

Thank you so much for the reviews on the last chapter. You made me very happy!

CHAPTER ELEVEN: THE JOYS OF SPRING

'I'm waiting!' barked Reiner, brandishing the gun threateningly. 'Tell me what you do with the key!'

Sydney was standing still as a statue, all except for her eyes, which leapt like wildfire, seeking a solution. She groaned internally as Reiner rested his wandering aim on Nigel, who now stood beside her.

'Sydney, I'm waiting. Tell me how to find the staff, or this time I will shoot him!'

'My best guess,' said Sydney bitterly, 'is that the first rays of sun will reveal something on, or inside, the barrow. So if you'd stop waving your favourite comforter around, we would be best off watching the sunrise real carefully!'

A Sydney spoke, Tess, who had regained her senses, began raising herself unsteadily to her feet. 'She's right,' mumbled the barmaid. 'You're wasting time.'

Sydney snarled at her female nemesis: no way was she working with that bitch!

'Reiner, if you put that thing down, I'll do my best to make sure you don't end up in jail with your new friend here… at least, not for so long. With her they're going to throw away the key!' Sydney spat these final words with venom.

'That's all very well Sydney,' drawled Reiner, 'but you will take the staff and put it in a silly museum. Sorry…no deal. Now, you and the other two women work out what I do with the key. I'll keep an eye on your assistant!'

The German relic hunter motioned with his gun in such a way as to indicate that the women should turn around and watch the sunrise, and that Nigel should come over to him. He waved his arm wildly, with expansive, sweeping motions, which could not fail to draw the attention of the sleepy pony, which still stood just inches behind him…

Stewie sensed the swooshing of aggressive movement; he perceived threat, and saw red.

'Aaaaaaargh!'

Reiner cried out in anguish and surprise as blunt little teeth ground through the fabric of his jacket, and sunk deep into the flesh of his arm. He swerved around to face the culprit.

'You evil beast!' He raised his preferred 'boy's toy.' 'I should have done this, hours ago…'

Before his finger could even twitch on the trigger, however, the gun flew from his hand, Sydney's high kick sending it hurtling into the air.

'I'll get it Sydney…'

As Sydney delivered a follow-up punch that nearly knocked Reiner out cold, Nigel launched himself after the flying weapon. So did Tess, and she was closer…

It was a split-second decision between chivalry and possible death, and life. Nigel chose the latter.

He rugby tackled the unsuspecting barmaid as she strained towards the flying pistol, grabbing her around the knees and sending her walloping back down into the dirt. Landing on top of her legs, his nose nearly buried in her thighs, Nigel did his best not to trample too rudely on the young lady - instinct rather than choice - as he scrambled up and over her. After surreptitiously elbowing her in the nose – better safe than sorry, he reckoned - it was Nigel who wrapped his fingers firmly around the weapon, and swiped it out of Tess's reach.

'Great work!' cried Sydney, shaking out her hands, which had just been in contact with items that even she would rather have not touched! As well as dealing with Reiner, she had just picked up, wiped on a leaf, and safely concealed the key. She knew exactly where that had been for the last two days! Carolyn, who had been hovering uncomfortably behind the log, emerged, offering a round of applause.

'Yes, well done, Nigel!' she exclaimed. 'And well done Stewie! I take it this is Stewie?'

'Yes, it is,' admitted Nigel, slightly begrudging the pony his share of the praise.

'Surely an angel of Mother Earth!' exclaimed Carolyn, regarding the shabby creature with admiration. Nigel couldn't suppress a cringe - it was still 'that bloody pony,' even if it had helped save the day.

'Ah well,' he sighed, ignoring Reiner's killer stare, and Tess's piteous moans. 'It's time that least two of us asserted some male power around here - and actually succeeded! But, if we want to find this damned relic, hadn't we better be watching for the sunrise?'

His words were prophetic. The clouds of the night had drifted away and, at that moment, the first inklings of a clear, yellow dawn began breaking in the west.

……………………………………

Sydney and Nigel untethered Stewie, keeping a careful eye on the distance between his jaw and their fingers, and used the strap to firmly bind Tess and Reiner together. All the while, Carolyn watched the sunrise, and busied herself pulling any potentially obstructive branches out of the way of the approaching shafts of light.

As the first sun of spring pierced the heart of the forest, a hushed tranquillity drifted through the air like an ethereal spirit, stilling their tongues and snatching their breath. Even Tess and Reiner, who had been grumbling continually, fell respectfully silent.

Sydney carefully marked the patch where it fell on the grassy, overgrown top of the barrow above the door, but could see nothing extraordinary there. Their nerves humming with anticipation, Nigel, Sydney and Carolyn followed the path of the sunlight as it edged onwards away from the door of the mound.

After minutes had passed, with no revelatory wonders, Nigel asked: 'Do you really think that the staff is hidden somewhere here on the top?' He sounded slightly sceptical.

Sydney darted him an uneasy, contemplative look: 'It doesn't seem likely. I was expecting the sun to strike first somewhere in the entrance of the barrow.'

'Do you think the trees could have blocked it?' interjected Carolyn, unable to conceal her disappointment. 'Oh dear!'

'Possibly,' ruminated Sydney, 'unless… Nigel!' She turned to her assistant abruptly. 'Quick! Go and look inside the barrow. See if you can find the end of that small vent I discovered last night!'

An excited grin flashed across Nigel's face. 'Of course! Syd - you're brilliant! That must have been mediaeval addition...' He leapt off the side of the barrow and sprinted inside as Sydney began ripping the greenery away from the far end of the barrow. Locating a small indent, she frantically scooped out layers of sand and dust with her fingers and twigs. Carolyn joined her, pulling aside anything that could block the magisterial progress of the sun.

When Nigel reached the back of the main chamber, it was still almost pitch black. He squinted to see, his heart sinking. Maybe the theory was wrong? He stepped back towards the entrance, just in case he was blocking something.

Then a tiny spark flickered upon a stone slab at the far end.

Nigel gasped. The ray of the first sunlight of spring had indeed struck right to the back of the deep, dark tomb.

Tingling with expectation, he touched the illuminated spot on the wall. Heat seeped into his fingers with the intensity of a laser beam. He discerned a small niche. Like the vent, it had been nearly sealed up with the dust and grime of ages.

'Sydney!' he hollered. 'I've found something!'

By the time Sydney and Carolyn reached him, Nigel had uncovered a distinctive shaped hole in the wall.

'It's a keyhole!' he grinned excitedly. 'It's certainly not prehistoric, but it could be…'

'…mediaeval!' finished Sydney. Carolyn whipped out her flashlight, while Sydney took the key from where she had cosseted it, down her top. The silver object flashed luminously as the ray of light caught its shine - a considerable feat considering where it had spent the previous few days! Sydney slotted it into the hole, where it fitted perfectly, and twisted it gently.

There was a dull clunk: the front of the slab began to swing forward.

'My goodness!' exclaimed Carolyn. 'A compartment! I'm surprised the world's foremost relic hunter didn't locate that before.'

'It was dark!' protested Nigel.

'… and we had other things to do,' interjected Sydney, 'like finding a way out!'

'True, true,' conceded Carolyn, as Sydney shot Nigel a cheeky wink. There certainly had been other things to do!

'Heavens!' Carolyn's attention was grabbed back, as was Sydney's and Nigel's, as the contents of the compartment were fully revealed. There, standing upright in a wall holster, was a long, gilded staff, as tall as Sydney herself. As legend had told, it was lustrous, bejeweled with emeralds and rubies, apparently embodying the most ungodly extravagances of the mediaeval church.

Sensing no apparent danger from touching it, Sydney reach forward and tried to lift the relic from its supports. The staff was heavy - heavier than she had expected, even after seeing its embellished state. Nigel reached forward to help her.

'It's amazing,' she whispered as they lifted it together. 'And so heavy! This thing must have been worth a fortune in any age.'

Carolyn shook her head agitatedly. 'It doesn't make sense,' she mused. 'If Odo - the Lady Odo - really worshipped Mother Earth, why would her staff boast of all the wealth of the most ungodly man of the cloth? I knew the legends of the staff, but I always hoped they would prove untrue, and that the staff would reveal more of the gentle, nature worshipper I always believed in.'

Sydney narrowed her eyes thoughtfully. 'You're right. But then Odo has already surprised us once. Mediaeval Bishop's staffs are never this broad - I've got a hunch this relic is not quite that it appears to be.' She ran her fingers over the thickest part of the staff, tracing a seam in the metalwork. Finding a small catch, she flicked it forward.

'My God, Syd!' exclaimed Nigel, as light fell upon the much smaller secret apartment, within the staff itself, that fell open. 'Is that what I think it is?'

Sydney reverently picked out a crudely carved, voluptuously curved female figurine. 'Yes – it's the Earth Mother herself! Odo truly did worship the Goddess!'

'It looks like she is made of the same limestone as the monoliths,' garbled Nigel. 'If she really is Neolithic, it will be the first find of this kind in northern Europe. It could revolutionise current thinking about prehistoric religion!''

Sydney, smiling delightedly and shaking her head in nigh disbelief, handed the statue to Carolyn. 'There you go. Odo was using the worldly riches of the church to conceal her worship of the Earth Mother all along…'

'… which is slightly sacrilegious,' butted in Nigel. 'But I suppose that the 13th Century church was pretty corrupt. Maybe, in her own way, she was bringing some purity back to religion.'

'She's beautiful,' murmured Carolyn, reverentially running the tips of her fingers over the figurine's undulating shape. 'She was thousands of years old even before Lady Odo found her. I wonder if she discovered the idol in the forest as a girl, and the Earth Mother somehow empowered her?'

'I guess that's something we will never quite know,' replied Sydney. 'But this relic, along with the stone circle and the barrow, is more than enough to save your forest from developers a dozen times over. I think you can safely say that the Earth Mother has done her job!'

'She was helped, Professor,' said Carolyn, grasping Sydney's fingers with the hand that wasn't clutching the Goddess. 'Thank you! And thank you, Nigel. You truly are special, returning to save the forest - just as I knew you would!'

'It's been a pleasure, well…well, mostly,' confirmed Nigel, graciously motioning that Carolyn should pass him by and lead them out of the barrow. 'And there was no need for any silly, um, rituals, after all…'

……………………………..

As she passed through the mouth of the barrow, Carolyn paused and held the deity aloft. Sydney, at her shoulder, heard the words the 'sister' offered: a short, heartfelt prayer for new life, regeneration and to the joys of spring and love. Then she moved on.

In her wake, Sydney hesitated to shut her eyes, feeling the sunlight kiss her lids. 'I'll second that,' she murmured. 'Here's to life and love…'

'What's that?' demanded Tess, straining to turn her head to see the statue from where she was still tied to Reiner.

'It was inside the staff, dear,' said Carolyn airily. 'It's a prehistoric idol of the Earth Mother.'

Tess's face suddenly glowed with grim desire: 'An idol! So that's why the staff was so powerful… quick! Carolyn, you must spill his blood. You have the gun - kill them both!'

Carolyn stared at her for a second, as if contemplating her options. Sydney's hand twitched slightly: surely there was no need for her to reach for the knife? She darted a look at Nigel. He was glaring at Tess, but looked relaxed enough. He obviously trusted Carolyn completely.

As Sydney relaxed, Carolyn shook her head slowly and sadly. 'Why this bloodlust, Tess? The Earth Mother gives, not takes life…'

'You said it yourself!' interrupted Tess, vitriolically. 'The Earth Mother's powers will be unleashed when we offer a man to be her husband!'

'Well, yes,' admitted Carolyn, 'but we haven't got a clue what that means, really, have we? the Latin word vitualamen, found in Odo's text about the ritual, literally means offering, not sacrifice and I always interpreted it in the spirit of the 60s. All the girls would cast off their worldly garments and dance around the lad who is the 'chosen one' to be offered - whatever that means - and chant a few well chosen prayers. Of course, there is normally a little bit of kissing and cuddling, if the victim is willing…'

Nigel gawped at her, disbelieving. 'That's the ritual?' he stuttered.

'Yes dear, I thought I told you. At least, that's the ritual as the Forest Sisterhood have always performed it, with great success - well, for the boys involved its least. The local lads who took part in the Bunny Chase were always game until that awful man Henchard started spreading rumours about us. Before that, the boys always found the whole experience rather enjoyable. It seems to bring out their artistic side. One lad who we 'chose' a few years ago, left straight after to pursue his dreams, and has now been nominated for the Turner Art prize. Another young chap departed to see the world, and is currently dancing with the Bolshoi Ballet!'

'So absolutely nobody has been sacrificed or gone mad? Even with Tess about?'

'Not at all,' chuckled Carolyn. 'I think they all found it rather liberating. And this harlot only joined us last year!' Here she gestured at Tess dismissively. 'I'm unsure what to blame for her bad behaviour. Either it's a natural propensity to evil, or a very poor education in the Classics.'

'I'm the only sane one here,' screeched Tess. 'You'll never unleash the Earth Mother's powers like this! It is your last chance Carolyn. Untie me, and I'll do it!'

'Oh dear,' tutted Carolyn. 'I think maybe she's just stupid.' She turned to Tess and addressed her like a school ma'am would a particularly dense pupil: 'Don't you see, dear? The Earth Mother has already saved the forest, and guaranteed the renewal of life for evermore, just by being found. After we've deposited you at the police station, I'm going straight home to phone UNESCO and have this place declared a World Heritage Site!'

Great,' grinned Sydney, squeezing Nigel's arm with satisfied pleasure. 'And then we're heading back to the Flighty Filly Inn for a nice, hot bath!'

'Not a moment too soon!' Nigel's words were particularly heartfelt. 'I've never looked forward to anything more in my…'

'Aaaaaaaaaaaarghheeeeeeeeee!'

Nigel stopped short as a strange, squealing shattered the peace of the forest. Sydney's hand clamped tighter around his, as a group of five girls, with bedraggled hair and running makeup, scrambled towards them through the trees. They were evidently a few of Nigel's pursuers from the Bunny Chase, who had become lost and then traipsed around the forest all night.

'It's the cute one!' cried one.

'We've found him…' yelled another.

'Nigel - we loooooooooooooooooove you!'

'Girls, girls!' said Carolyn raising her hand in a calming manner. 'I'm sorry, but he can't possibly be 'the one' this year. He's spoken for.'

'Sorry,' grinned Sydney smugly, firmly looping her arm around Nigel's shoulder. 'I caught him first!'

'Actually, I did!' jutted in Tess. Sydney stared daggers at her, stabbing the blonde back into silent, sulky submission. It was then she noticed her assistant giving her a decidedly shifty, sidelong glance.

'It would be a bit of a shame if the Earth Mother never got her offering,' said Nigel innocently. Turning his gaze back towards the gaggle of attractive girls, all in their late teens and early twenties, he added. 'It's all harmless really, and it might be rather fun…'

'Nigel!' Sydney's jaw dropped. 'You're not serious?'

'Um…. no, of course not,' said Nigel, almost convincingly. 'Unless you're the chief worshipper, of course!'

'Of you or the Earth Mother?' laughed Sydney.

'Oh, um, either will too,' replied Nigel. He regarded the girls again, who had been joined by at least a dozen hungry-eyed companions, and it dawned on him that he may have spoken too lightly. The squeaking and pointing had started again, as words spread among them that the victim was willing!

'Actually, Sydney,' said Nigel, tugging her shirt in sudden alarm. 'I think we'd better get out of here…'

…………………………………..

After a few hours of chaos, all was peace and tranquillity back at the Flighty Filly Inn. Tess and Reiner had been dragged off by the authorities - although Sydney quietly wondered whether the law would fall as heavy on either of them as they deserved. Reiner, at least, she expected to see back on the relic hunting circuit in no time at all, and she wasn't entirely sorry. In his own selfish way, he had saved Nigel's life, even if her warm memories of that igloo had now been eclipsed by the darkness of a prehistoric barrow…

Valerie and the 'girls' had been persuaded to release Henchard from the dungeon of Comb Castle. The bald, thuggish Mayor of Little Hintock had been furious, but he agreed not to press charges when Syd reminded him that she could have him arrested herself, for one count of breaking and entering, one count of theft and two of assault. Henchard had then shuffled quietly away, not entirely an unhappy man: he may not have been able to bulldoze half the forest now, but he was already hatching plans to make as much money as possible out of the extra tourists that Carolyn's World Heritage Site would bring to the area. Psydo-celtic gifts, books on druids and pretty, smelly crystals always sold well! Maybe those 'silly women' had been of use to him after all!

After that, Syd and Nigel had rediscovered Giles in the pub, and he had joined them, with a pint of local real ale, to revel in the excitement of their find.

'I don't know who was more chuffed,' smiled Nigel as he and Syd finally passed through the door into the bedroom. 'Carolyn or Giles!'

'Giles certainly looked pretty pleased with himself,' laughed Sydney, rolling her eyes at the memory of the museum curator, who had beamed from ear to ear as he spoke of his new Odo exhibit, which would display the necklace, staff and the knife. The knife, it turned out, had been discovered by Carolyn in the cathedral while researching her dissertation in the 1960s. She swore to the Earth Mother that it had no more sinister purpose than a fruit-knife, and had kept it safe until the mayor had stolen it with the robes – and then it had fallen into the hands of psychotic Tess. However, what had made Giles really happy, was that he could plan his new display with the help of the girl of his dreams: one of the 'sisters who had caught him had been Harriet, the pretty, bubbly librarian of the South Wessex Mobile Book Bus Service. It had been love at first sight!

'I think Giles was probably happiest,' said Nigel knowingly. 'Love really is in the air…' He bounced down onto the bed, flinging himself backwards with an enthusiastic grin on his face. 'I've never seen a bed look so inviting! I think I could be happy here for a week!'

'Oh yeah?' said Sydney slyly, flinging her satchel down. 'You must be a tired boy. Or maybe you've got other plans?'

Nigel blushed, ever so slightly, then answered hesitatingly: 'Only if…you have?'

Sydney smiled enigmatically and peeled off her mud-splattered jacket. 'Of course, I haven't a clue what you've got in mind, but the immediate plan I've got for now is to take a bath!'

'Oh!' said Nigel, realising that he was also spreading soil and indeterminate muck all over the feather pillow and eiderdown. 'That's not a bad idea. I'll…um, take one after you?'

'Okay,' said Sydney, turning away so he could not see her bite her lip, repressing a giggle. 'I'll save some water.'

She whipped off her top, and peeped over her shoulder to confirm that Nigel was pretending to be utterly embroiled in brushing the dirt off the bed covers. She knew his eyes, as ever, were on no such thing!

It didn't surprise her, even after everything, that Nigel was still reserved. She knew it would be down to her to make him get used to what had changed, but she just couldn't help teasing him a little. Besides, who could resist that awkward half smile he was giving her, now that she had caught his eye and knew that his peeping had been rumbled?

'Oh, Nigel,' wondered Sydney to herself, half amused, half yearning. 'Am I really going to have to spell out in words of one syllable just how much I want you?'

She opened her mouth to speak, but he got in first. 'Sydney…I…I know you meant what you said - I wouldn't do you the dishonour of not believing you – but are you sure that this…all this…um, new stuff, is what you really want? For us… our relationship? We could go back to as it was before - I won't mind. Nothing would have changed.'

'Quite sure,' replied Sydney, with a ring of honesty. 'Are you sure, Nigel? I mean, I'm hardly the average girl you'd take on a date!'

'Of course, I'm sure!' Nigel was on his feet and crossing the carpet, his arms around her in an instant. 'It's not like I'm going into this with my eyes shut…but what am I…what are we starting here?'

Sydney grinned, her arms encircling his shoulders. 'We're not starting anything. We're continuing a great romance! I guess it's just taken us a while to catch up with the plot!'

She fell silent, as Nigel's lips brushed against hers. Suddenly acutely aware of the uniquely confident, gentle way he was holding her Sydney sighed inwardly, with an undiluted pleasure. Sydney returned the kiss with an impetuous passion, hungrily seizing a handful of his hair and pulling him in closer, ever closer.

'That part of the plot was definitely in the here and now,' he whispered as they finally drifted apart.

Sydney flattered her long, dark lashes with a playful coyness: 'So no more ridiculous talk of taking a bath after me?'

'Absolutely not,' affirmed Nigel, with some confidence.

Great,' said Sydney, her eyes dancing with pleasure. 'You'd better take your clothes off, then!'

The tiniest hint of panic glimmered across Nigel's face. It wasn't like they hadn't been naked together before, a couple of times, or even, up close and naked. But, in the barrow, it had been very, very dark!

'I'll go and run the bath,' whispered Sydney, reading his discomfort. 'I'll be waiting!'

She slipped into the bathroom, smoothing her tongue over moist lips. She was willing to give Nigel a bit of time… well, about two minutes!

Nigel, swallowing his self-consciousness, barely resisted the temptation to jump up and down on the bed with joy. He ripped his jumper off over his head, and began undoing his shirt, his fingers so trembling with elation that he fumbled with even his own buttons. Pausing momentarily, before he went 'in for the kill' and removed his trousers, his unfocused gaze suddenly snapped onto something in the grassy green, pony-populated field by the pub.

' Sydney! Isn't that…quick! Come look!'

Sydney emerged from the bathroom, wearing only the smallest of fluffy, white towels, which covered her between just below her shoulders and her thighs. Her damp hair sparkled, descending in picturesque spirals onto bare, bronzed shoulders. Nigel did not even turn his head. He was standing at the window, his nose practically pressed against the glass, staring ahead of him.

'What is it?'

'Isn't that…Stewie?'

Sydney's visions of impromptu cult rituals, or an escaped Tess on the warpath, quickly vanished as Nigel pointed to the grey, pointed-eared pony, who was mooching on the nearside of the field.

'Yeah, I think it is!' said Sydney, slowly, raising her eyebrows as she realised why Nigel was so compelled. 'And it looks like he's found…'

'…love?' completed Nigel, a grin spreading across his face. Standing close to Stewie was a beautiful jet-black filly. They were rubbing noses affectionately, their tails swishing as one.

'Hey,' said Sydney. 'She's pregnant!'

Nigel squinted at the profile of the little black pony, and detected the pronounced curve of her tummy. 'So she is! Do you think Stewie is the dad?'

'Maybe,' mused Syd. 'They look like they're pleased to see each other. Ponies usually stay together and raise their young in families. Maybe Stewie got separated somehow?'

'That could be why he was so grumpy!' retorted Nigel. 'But, somehow, I don't find him quite as repulsive now.'

'No, I think it's kind of sweet,' smiled Sydney. 'Carolyn's prayer to the Earth Mother really must have worked. Look at it out there. Now the sun has come out, the whole world is exploding with nature!'

She was right. The fields and forests were brimming with life. The flocks of ponies were interspersed with nibbling rabbits, gently swaying wildflowers in a variety of delicate hues, and swooping birds, foraging for their nests. The trees had flourished into blossom overnight, and were bathing in the mild spring sun. Nigel began to wonder if all the more pleasant aspects of his dream in the tent were on the brink of coming true…

'Hey, at this rate,' laughed Sydney, 'even our Stewie might find love, if he came here. I'd pity the poor girl, though!'

'Me too,' replied Nigel, with some emphasis. 'Love really is in the air!' Catching her eye with a sidelong glance he added: 'It seems a bit of a shame to go.'

'It does,' said Sydney, with a hint of wistfulness.

'Really?' Nigel turned to face her, catching his breath as his suspicions concerning just how ravishing she looked, which he'd gathered from furtive glimpses, were fully affirmed. He fought the instinct to blush and turn away. He almost succeeded.

'Yeah,' continued Sydney. 'There are lots of good reasons we should hang around for a few days. Giles and Harriet will need help with the Odo exhibit, and the local archaeologists are going to need help uncovering the rest of that Stone Circle.'

Nigel's lips flickered into a knowing smile. 'You never stay around for that sort of stuff, Sydney: no rival relic hunters, no sense of danger, not even a gentle race against time. You'd get bored!'

'Well, that is a shame,' she sighed, scanning a pair of laughingly predatory eyes over his bare torso. 'I've already called Karen and asked her to reschedule my lectures for the next four days. How are we going to fill all that time?'

Nigel slipped his arms around her waist. 'Well,' he whispered tentatively. 'I have a few ideas…'

'You know, so have I,' murmured Sydney, melting into his embrace. 'I think it's time that you and I sampled the joys of spring.'

THE END

Thanks for reading! I've had lots of fun with this, and I hope you have. Please review me, I love feedback, and will take any suggestions into account in what I write next. So far, I've got planned (with the help of Tanya Reed) another shippy story, and a fantasy AU fic. But there's plenty of time - what sort of story would you like me to write? Thanks.

PS - the dedication on this story is to my friend, Ivoryrose, for her birthday, but I'm sure she won't mind sharing this last chapter with my husband of four days, Chris. This part was for both of you. :)

PPS – Please review!!!