Disclaimer: My computer hates me. As of now, it's refusing to let me right-click.

AN: I'm back! I got my Phoenix Wright inspiration revved up again and, after I return from vacation, there'll be some important (to me) news to share! But for now, I give ye this. It is, of course, set long before Juan's death in JFA case four.

Enough Is Enough

One of them always had to win. One of them had to emerge victorious from each insignificant little clash. They could never accept a tie because neither could accept that Matt Engarde and Juan Corrida could be equals in any way. One always had to be better. It was one of the few things Celeste hated about the both of them.

She had always loved both men dearly, but their constant competition... She despised it. Because of their mutual obsession, she could barely go anywhere in public without being thoroughly embarrassed. If she walked down the street, went to a movie or restaurant, did anything at all with one, they would run into fans and end up being detained just long enough that the other would show up and issue an irresistible challenge.

It was especially bad at parties.

Since the two traveled in the same social circles, when one was invited chances were the other was too. Celeste didn't even bother trying to remember all the stupid contests she had been called upon to judge. It was easier to keep a dumbest-of-the dumb list, for those times when she was the most deeply ashamed. Like that time at Jack Hammer's when the two of them called everyone out of the water and proceeded to race one hundred laps around the olympic-sized pool. Neither one made it to one hundred. Matt burned out at sixty-two, but that was still five more laps than Juan swam. And who could forget their epic bowling showdown?

They started a "friendly" game at Will Powers' party using his private lanes and ended up playing until long after the other guests had all gone. The story as she heard it was they kept scoring within a few points of each other or tied completely and demanded another game. The two of them ended up staying the night in Will's two guest houses and started bowling the next day. It was enough to drive a girl crazy!

But she had to admit, there was one contest she had enjoyed at least a little, their singing contest. Karaoke to be exact. Celeste still smiled when she remembered that one. Juan was definitely the victor that time, and made it painfully clear why he was the Jammin' Ninja and Matt was not. Still, in light of their last challenge, Celeste was completely convinced that their endless competitions had to cease.

Their last, idiotic challenge was to eat raw oysters and old sushi, then ride the most insanely stomach-twisting rollercoaster they could find at Global Studios' amusement park section. They were betting on who would lose their lunch first and called on her to officiate by riding along, sitting between the two of them in the car. Celeste's final decision was that they both lost when they tied, not over the side of the car, but right on her lap. Both of them.

It had to stop.

AN: When they talk about Matt and Juan's rivalry in-game, they mention swimming, bowling, and singing contests among what they did so this is the logical progression... Hehehehe. I do feel sorry for Celeste though. Both because of what happened to her, and because of what I just put her through in this chapter.

By the way... Any of you fine folks who read my other Phoenix Wright story 'Blackmail' and read chapter two already, go back and read it again. I replaced the chapter with Redd White for a new blackmailer. Someone much better. That is all.