I've been lost in my own self-pity for so long that I've forgotten what it means to live. I've tried to breathe, I tried to eat, I tried to dream, but all I did was exist. Even with everyone around me encouraging me, telling me to move forward, I failed to feel the warmth provided by human companionship. Family, friends, colleagues, companions, and lovers, those words had no meaning to mean. I thought only of myself, how I should continue surviving and remain independent of all other people. Strength came from independence, and was represented by how few people were needed by one's self.

I tried to force myself into isolation, hiding from light and warmth. I became so tired that one night, I did dream. In that dream, my armor fell down, light blinded me, warmth consumed me; I thought I was dying. Time passed, and the pain subsided. My eyes grew accustomed to the brightness, my body to the saturating heat, and my heart to the lifted burden of being without shields. Strength and power I had forgotten returned to me. Confidence long since destroyed was born anew. Looking around, I realized, so many depended on me, and I depended on them just as much.

Dawn broke, my dream shattered as reality came back into focus. Something was different, though. The sun seemed brighter, the sky clearer, the trees greener, the earth purer. I walked to the stream near our camp, hoping to wash away the grime I felt covered my body. As I knelt to cup water in my hands, I noticed her, standing downstream, water glistening on her face. She heard the bank crumble beneath my feet and turned to look. A smile came across her face as she spoke. "Good morning, Cloud. Did you sleep well?"

She was different from the woman I remember last night, centered and content. Sadness had controlled her the previous night, when I told her to leave me alone. Everything I remembered from that night seemed so wrong now, so painful. What drove me to say such awful things? Thinking about it won't change anything now, yet it feels like all of that doesn't matter anymore. A gentle fire had kindled itself in me. I knew it would grow stronger in time. Eventually I would be able to share that warmth with others. Smiling at the thought of that, I felt cleansed, with everything in order, as it was intended to be. I turned my smile to her, my first genuine smile in so many years. I had forgotten how beautiful she had always been. "Yes I did, Tifa. And thank you."