Ticktickticka…Tickitytickaticktick…tickati-
"Zack?"
"Mmmm?"
"What are you doing?"
"Sitting."
"I'm very aware of that."
"Then why did you ask?"
"Because you'd better have a good reason for sitting in my lap."
"I do." Sephiroth sighed and typed a couple more words, attempting to calm down before further questioning his friend.
"Are you going to explain?"
"I guess." Pause. Sephiroth forced himself to think about things other than throwing Zack through the window.
"Are you going to explain now?"
"I just felt like it." Zack said, stretching. Sephiroth ducked when Zack's arm came dangerously close to his face.
"Just felt like it?" Twitch.
"Yup."
"So you just felt like wandering in here when I'm in the middle of writing a report and just felt like sitting down in my lap?" Twitch.
"That's pretty much it."
"Zack?"
"Yes?" Zack answered innocently. Sephiroth reminded himself that a stapler is not a practical weapon.
"Get off." Zack blinked, and twisted around to look at his seat.
"Why?" he asked. Sephiroth took a deep breath before answering.
"Because I can get absolutely nothing done when you're in my lap." Double twitch. Zack grinned.
"I know."
"If you know, then why haven't you left yet?"
"Don't feel like it."
"Don't feel like it?"
"Uh-huh."
"Zack, get off me now, before I am forced to remove you from this office in the most excruciatingly painful manner I can think of."
"You're no fun." Zack complained. He stayed put.
"I'm busy." Sephiroth pointed out. He jerked his knees up in an attempt at dislodging Zack, who stubbornly remained where he was.
"No you're not."
"Zack, this report needs to get done, and there's a stack of paperwork on my desk that is at least two inches thick. After that, I've got my own pile of reports to review, summarize, and send out, then I have a meeting with everyone, and I get to follow all that up with a visit to the Tech Department to evaluate some new ideas. I. Am. Busy."
"No, you're working too hard." Zack grumbled. "And I know just how to fix that." Sephiroth raised one eyebrow.
"Please tell me you haven't come up with some harebrained plan."
"I could tell you that, but it wouldn't be true."
"Zack, I don't have time to participate in another of your ridiculous escapades. Off. Now."
"Not until you agree to come with me."
"Where do you intend to take me? And for what purpose?"
"Dunno. Out. And I'm doing it to teach you how to have fun. Now agree."
"No Zack. I have work to do." This was not the answer Zack wanted, so he leaned forward, stole the mouse from Sephiroth, and shut down the program the General had been working on. "Zack!" Sephiroth squawked.
"Don't worry Seph, I saved it first."
"I despise you."
"Sure ya do. Now come on. We're gonna go have fun."
"Nuh-uh."
"Fine. I'm leaving." Irritated, Zack made sure to dig his elbow into Sephiroth's stomach as hard as he could when he slid off his friend's lap.
"Don't kill any recruits." Sephiroth murmured absently. Zack didn't respond.
/Ten minutes later, Turks office/ "Hey Reno." The mentioned redhead jumped, nearly dropping the handful of paperclip jewelry he was working on.
"Jeez Zack, don't sneak up on me like that! I thought you were someone important!" Zack raised one eyebrow. "Okay, someone important who'll actually yell at me." Reno amended.
"I need your help."
"With?"
"Sephiroth."
"Fun. Now what's his problem?" Zack, perched on the edge of Reno's desk, explained the situation while Reno carefully made a collar for himself out of rubber bands and staples. Then he made a second one for Zack. By the time Zack was finished explaining the crisis and outlining the proposed solution, Reno had created the equivalent of a full jewelry case. Considering the fact that everything had been made with office supplies, it was quite a feat.
"So…gonna help me with him?"
"Sure. Sneaking out of the office, getting the General to do something against his will, courting almost certain death…sounds like fun!" Zack grinned.
"Good. Now come on." He got up and started for the door. Reno paused.
"How, exactly?"
"Hmm?"
"You didn't say how you intend to get me out of here with Tseng on the job."
"Easy." Zack purred. His grin turned into one that reminded Reno of a cat about to pounce. Suddenly, staying put sounded like a better idea.
"Ow! Hey, that hurts! Lemme go!" Everyone in the combined Turk's offices heard Reno's indignant squalling. They all peeked into the hallway to find out what the ruckus was about. They found Zack, dragging Reno by the ear. Tseng caught up with them at the door.
"May I ask where you're taking him?" he asked.
"Out." Zack said shortly. Reno opened his mouth to argue, and Zack pulled a little harder.
"Where out?" Tseng persisted, not willing to turn the little hellion of the Turk's office loose without just cause.
"Sephiroth's office. Something came up in a report he wants to ask about." Tseng shot Reno a questioning look. Reno ignored it, choosing instead to glare at Zack.
"I see. I'm not going to ask what you've gotten into now, Reno, just don't do it again, whatever it was."
"Yessir." Reno mumbled. Zack nodded to Tseng and headed out the door, with Reno close behind.
Once they were safe in the elevator, Zack released Reno's ear. The redhead rubbed the abused skin, glaring at Zack.
"It worked, didn't it?"
"Did you have to pull that hard?"
"Yes."
"I hate you."
"I love you too, Reno. Ready to go?"
"As ready as I'll ever be."
Sephiroth wasn't expecting Zack to return with reinforcements. In fact, he hadn't expected Zack to return at all. At least…not for several hours. However, Zack was very good at taking whatever Sephiroth thought was going to happen and changing it.
They marched into the office at precisely ten minutes 'til noon. Sephiroth ignored them. That is, until he was grabbed and dragged off his chair.
"Zack!"
"That's my name. C'mon Seph, get your coat. We're going."
"We aren't going anywhere, Zachary. I am staying right here and working."
"No, you're not," Reno said, and tossed Sephiroth's coat at him. Sephiroth caught it and glared at the redhead.
And why, pray tell, are you helping him?"
"I just felt like it."
"Just felt like it? Now, where have I heard that before?" Sephiroth muttered, eyeing Zack. He was over by the window, toying with a collar that Sephiroth knew he hadn't been wearing earlier.
"It's almost lunchtime anyway. And we're going off base." Sephiroth mentally counted to ten, sighed, and adjusted his jacket.
"Where exactly are we going?"
"Dunno," Zack answered, grinning. "That's part of the fun!"
/Next day/ "General Sephiroth, you failed to attend our meeting yesterday. You lso failed to keep an appointment with the Tech Department, and essentially vanished for the afternoon and evening. Do you have an excuse?"
"Yes."
"And what is it?"
"I just felt like it."
"You just felt like it?"
"Yes."