See? It's the Epilogue-type-thing. And it will consume your soul. The rabid dialogue, I mean. It's deadly, so watch your fingers!

Death List: Do I really have to tell you?

Predator

Day VIII

"I'm dead."

"Dude, you're not dead."

"Am I in Heaven or Hell?"

"You're in a hospital bed."

"No I'm not."

"Uh, yeah, you are."

"I can't be in a bed, I'm dead!" repeated Roy, starting to get angry.

"Alright, alright, you're dead!" conceded Falco. "You would know better than I would. Sheesh..."

"Would you like another pain killer?" asked Dr. Mario, waving a box of Tylenol above his head.

"I feel no pain," said Roy, staring lifelessly at the fluorescent lights.

"I think he's had too many pain killers already, Doc..."

"Wait a second, if I'm dead, why is Dr. Mario here...?"

"Oh my God, he's having an epiphany!" yelled Falco sarcastically. "Quick, get me a camera!"

"Shut up," said Fox. "Go do something useful, why don't you?"

"I want to know what happened."

"Don't we all," said the vulpine, rolling his eyes. "Pichu tells us two of you are alive in there, and when the door somehow unlocks itself, everyone is alive and hysterical."

"Was the house upside down at that time?" asked Roy.

"...What?"

Roy lay back on his bed and put a hand over his face. "You see? I'm dead. No one understands."

"Oh," said Dr. Mario, crestfallen, "I don't think I have any anti-depressants..."

"I'm fine!" shouted Roy.

"I thought you were dead?" reminded Falco.

He glared at the bird irately. "So I suppose since you're here that the others were revived as well."

"Yeah."

"But I died," insisted Roy again, resuming the previous argument. "The computer fell on top of me and crushed me. Samus was dead by then, too."

"The doors unlocked themselves exactly one minute after midnight, and we came in and saw you lying on the floor of the Great Hall with everyone in the house gathered around you," said Fox. "The house was on lockdown, but no one will tell us why until you're there to fill in some gaps. They think you know the most about it?"

"I was the last one alive," the swordsman replied, now observing a variety of bandages on his body, mostly small cuts from tripping all over the house what seemed like minutes before. His right arm was in a sling. He was sitting one of the many beds in the hospital wing with only Dr. Mario, Falco, and Fox in the room. The others apparently took interest in the yelling going on somewhere nearby in the building. "What time is it now?"

"It's midday after the day you were locked in," said Dr. Mario.

"And you haven't told them anything?" Roy looked at Falco, who shrugged.

"You're the ringleader—we're waiting for you. Not to mention we're just a little shell-shocked still."

"Right then," he said, sliding onto the floor and straightening his sling. "Living room, right?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," said Dr. Mario. "Get back in bed. fourteen hours isn't nearly sufficient for a broken wrist, various cuts, three days without food or water, and delirium."

"I am not delirious." For some reason, his wrist didn't even hurt. He wondered vaguely just how many painkillers were in his system.

"So you're dead, and therefore aren't delirious?" asked Falco.

"Shut up," sighed Fox.

Roy didn't show any sign of hearing the comments, but instead ignored them and walked out of the wing and into the living room. The middle region of the Headquarters housed an interesting scene that he predicted would have occurred already while he was unconscious. Captain Falcon was standing in the center of the room with his hands held out toward Samus defensively, and behind him Luigi was standing in the eastern doorway with his mouth open and a finger raised as if he had tried to make a point and Falcon had intervened, cutting him off from then to now. What Roy would guess was that Luigi had spent most of the day in hiding, had attempted to slip into the kitchen, and had been caught and hastily attacked by Samus on the spot.

"You are the only other one who knows he had something to do with this, and you act as if nothing even happened!" she directed at Captain Falcon with astonishment.

"It's the past," dismissed Falcon. "I hold nothing against him—"

"He killed you!"

Those others present—about three-fourths of the entire league—started all at once. Mario, who had been carrying some dishes back into the kitchen, cried out and dropped the tray, shattering most of the glassware.

"That's impossible!" Peach exclaimed. "We found Falcon when you were in the computer room!"

"He wasn't dead then," said Samus matter-of-factly.

Luigi was looking at Samus like a frightened child would an abusive parent. She paid no attention to him, however.

"It's nothing," insisted Falcon. "I swear, I forgive him—"

"What if Roy hadn't lived for us all?" she challenged. "Then would you have forgiven him?!"

"But he was out of his mind," interrupted Marth calmly, "he wasn't completely on—"

"MARTH!" barked Luigi angrily.

The room became very silent for a minute, as everyone looked at each other hesitantly. Using the pause, Marth started to back out of the room and, by some unfortunate chance, bumped into Mewtwo, who had entered only a while ago. The pokémon gently pushed the swordsman back into the room and closed the door behind him. Furthermore, Roy seemed to finally be noticed and Zelda moved down on the couch to provide a spot for him.

Mewtwo stood a little bit to the side of Luigi as if he was expecting the plumber to dive out of the door at the first opportunity. Then he looked at Samus, who was now the one with her mouth open, staring at Marth.

"How did you know what was happening after you died?" she asked.

He glanced first at Falcon, then at her and said in that same calm voice, "I heard it from Captain Falcon yesterday."

Falcon pretended to stretch. "I told him some things already," he said. He regarded Samus hotly. "I hope that's alright with you."

She huffed softly and glared at Luigi suspiciously, who by then had regained composure. Ness suddenly opened up with a laugh.

"This whole thing is just too weird," he said. "You all contradict yourselves so well. Let's go, guys." He stood up and pulled Popo to his feet. Popo was reluctant to leave the room, having been interested greatly by the fact that a death was caused by a fellow Smasher, but didn't put up a significant fight as Kirby willingly went along.

Pichu hesitated when Nana started to pick him up. He wriggled out of her arms and, giving her an apologetic look, jumped onto the sofa and settled into Zelda's lap. Ness paused in the doorway and seemed to consider staying in the room. Then he turned and left.

Zelda studied the little mouse in her lap and then looked over at Pikachu, who was also eyeing the doorway suspiciously. Then she noticed that Captain Falcon was also staring ruefully at Ness as he left.

"So what's with you guys and the kid?" asked Ganondorf.

"What do you mean?" Captain Falcon pretended to be surprised.

"You and the two rats seem to have something against him."

From across the room, Marth coughed out a warning to Falcon. "Where's Master, anyway?" he asked, trying to change the subject.

Zelda blinked at him. "What do you mean? He wasn't going to stick around here. He's in hiding in the city, most likely."

"Hiding?" asked Falcon strangely.

Link looked over his shoulder and saw Luigi cringe slightly. Marth and Falcon were obviously confused, as they had been, the Hylian recalled, when they had first been told that none of the Smashers were responsible for the killings. He sighed and turned around. "What's going on."

"Nothing's going on," said Marth quickly. "We're just having a slight misunderstanding."

Link opened his mouth to reply, when he noticed Roy was in the room. "Maybe you can explain some of this?"

"To you or to them?" asked Roy, nodding toward Captain Falcon and Marth.

The Hylian didn't quite understand the reply. He looked at Zelda for guidance. "It was Master wasn't it?" He kept his eye on Captain Falcon to watch for his reaction.

"Yes," she said carefully. "He killed me, and both Roy and Samus were standing there, watching."

Captain Falcon kept a straight face, though he seemed to be fighting back a witty retort. Luigi looked very uncomfortable, standing with his head turned at an angle and his arms crossed tight around like he was hugging himself. Link realized that Mewtwo was talking to him telepathically, and it was by experience that he knew conversing mentally with such a strong psychic wasn't a situation you could get out of very easily.

"Master blamed us for the whole thing even happening," recalled Samus. "He was mad at us for some reason..."

Falcon looked like he was trying very hard to keep quiet. While most were pondering Samus' last remark, anxious to know the reason behind the killings, he and Marth looked like they might have already known, but didn't want to tell anyone. Link beckoned to the latter of the two, who hesitated slightly, to converse outside of the room where no others would hear.

"Are you a little more comfortable now?" asked Link. He didn't mean to sound quite so bitter, but it couldn't be helped. He thought he deserved to know what this big secret was. Marth blinked at him slightly and bowed his head.

"I'm sorry," he said in a small voice. "But now isn't the time."

"What are you hiding?"

"Really...this shouldn't be discussed right now." Link opened his mouth to reply, but Marth cut him off hastily and said: "Light feet are seldom detected," and the reference to curious children was caught immediately.

The two swordsmen walked casually through the main hall until they reached the conference room, which was carefully soundproofed. Once there, the doors were locked and Marth leaned against the wall and seemed to breathe for the first time since he woke up two days ago.

Link pulled up a chair. "So what's this all about?"

"Okay. You all need to know this, but I couldn't say it with—er—certain people in the room. Master is in hiding, yes—in Ness' body."

"What?!"

"Ssh!" hushed Marth, looking toward the door anxiously.

"You mean Ness has been...possessed? By Master?"

"That's just it. Captain Falcon was killed by Ness' hand, but the boy was mentally unconscious. Luigi walked in while it happened, but in order to keep anyone from freaking out, he took the blame for it... It's hard to explain. We can't let Master know he's in danger or he might threaten Ness in self defense."

Link paused to take this in. "So Luigi didn't kill Falcon?"

"He didn't kill anyone. There wasn't any danger that he would—he faked insanity so you would think he had something to do with it, but really he was protecting Ness."

"But then Ness is still possessed! Doesn't that mean—"

"He's still in an unconscious state of mind, under Master's thumb."

"But Roy—"

"Roy died ten minutes before midnight."

Link stared at Marth confusedly. "I don't understand. What about the bandages? What about the poem that said if everyone dies, they don't come back?"

Marth sighed. "Let me simplify this a little. Ness was possessed, but that doesn't mean he died. Roy died, and Ness survived, so everyone comes back. It was a hole in Master's plan or something. Okay? But to protect the boy, we had to make everyone think that Roy survived so Master wouldn't do anything stupid."

"But he's not stupid," said Link.

Marth remained silent.

"Listen: I don't know why you're keeping this such a big secret, but I trust that you have a logical reason for lying to everyone."

His face reddened slightly. "I-I'm sorry... I'll tell you later, I promise! Or one of us will tell you later—" He stopped himself too late and looked away quickly.

"Any chance I can beat it out of either Falcon or Luigi then?" asked Link with raised eyebrows.

Marth was momentarily flustered. "I think not—I mean, Falcon, maybe, but it isn't necessary right now—"

"When will it be necessary, then—?"

He stopped when frantic footfalls reached their ears, coming from above them. Someone ran across the second floor hallway, then the third floor, and then at the top of the building a door slammed shut. The conference room door burst open and Zelda and Peach were pushed in.

"Guard them—don't let them leave!" Fox ordered, darting back into the hallway.

Zelda ran immediately to Link and threw herself into his arms. Part of her dress was ripped, and her cheek was cut and bleeding. "I knew there was something strange about him!" she cried. "I knew it when we were still locked in! It was that presence near his room... I didn't even think to tell anyone though! I'm so stupid."

Peach was cradling a sobbing Nana in her arms, and Popo and Young Link were standing a ways off looking most offended. Kirby was perched on Peach's shoulder, trying to comfort Nana.

"I only asked him if he was okay!" she wailed, and when she took her hands from her face she revealed a bloody bruise on her lip.

"What happened!" exclaimed Link.

"Ness completely lost it!" replied Popo angrily. "She asks him a dumb question and he hits her..."

"He just...ran off; Mewtwo came in and started after him with a few others on his tail as well..." said Young Link. "We have no idea what happened after that, but Zelda says he attacked her in the hall!"

"They're not gonna hurt him, are they?" asked Kirby worriedly. "I mean, he punched Nana pretty hard, but they're just gonna catch him and give him a time-out, right?"

Link took a tissue from the box on the table and dabbed at Zelda's cut. "He attacked you? In front of everyone?"

"Yes!" she said. "Not in front of everyone...Roy was with me because we got fed up with the argument and left the room—"

"GET BACK HERE, YA LITTLE TRAITOR...!" Captain Falcon thundered from two floors up. There was a stomp, and then something fell over and shattered. The foundation of the building shook, knocking pictures off the wall. Then everything went silent.

The door opened again, and Fox walked in, panting. "It's okay... They've got a hold of him now."

"But do you know why?" asked Link.

"All I know is this: most of us—minus you two and the kids—were in the living room, trying to make sense of the argument, when we can hear Nana crying in the game room. Zelda leaves with Roy and on the way there, Ness apparently goes ballistic and tries to kill her, and Roy tries to help but Ness just sort of...disappears. We were still in the living room, mind you, and then we hear Ness shouting from somewhere on the second floor...Mewtwo, I guess, teleports there, and then Luigi and Falcon take off running for the stairs.

"So the rest of us followed to try and figure out what the heck was going on, found Zelda and brought her here to keep her safe, but Roy had left to find Ness already, and when we went upstairs, he was tied down by some sort of black substance... Then we got to Master's office, and you wouldn't believe... Captain Falcon was flung against the wall like a rag doll, and Ness was standing with this insane grin on his face with Falcon's magnum to Luigi's head, threatening to shoot him if we moved."

Peach made a noise of distress, and squeezed Nana. "No...! What did you do? Are they all right?"

"Well, Pichu managed to sneak around and catch Ness off guard, and took the gun away and brought it to me" –here, he pulled out the magnum to show them— "and I held him at gunpoint but he vanished again! Mewtwo can't sense him anywhere in the house, so he must've left. It was the craziest fifteen minutes I ever experienced. Now I believe you all about what happened here with Master Hand."

"Great, so now Master's gone, and he took Ness with him," said Link.

"We'll get him back," said Fox. "Both of them. It'll just take time and some keen thought."

"But how?"

At this, Fox grinned slyly. "I've got a plan."

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

He's got a plan folks, and you know what that means! -cough-SEQUEL-cough-