Stupid Cupid

DISCLAIMER: Roses are red, violets are blue, my muses are sadists and Cupid is too. But you guys are nice and won't sue me, because I don't claim any part of Yggdra Union. This is just what would end up happening if I did own it.

It was the beginning of the month of February, and the weather was unusually warm throughout the continental realms of Midgard. All the lands from Embellia to the northernmost regions of Bronquia had been blessed with a respite from the chill air and cutting winds that clearly said snow was on its way; the temperatures were as mild as they had been at the end of the summer season.

Fantasinia's young Queen had happily taken this as a sign that some relaxation was due; hence, all parties involved in the many nations' peace negotiations had decided to take a break for a month or so. The lesser nobles of Embellia, the elders of Lost Aries, and the Temple Knights of Lombardia had all gone home. The Royal retinue and the Imperial representatives had instead decided to stay in Karona, the castle town that lay on the Fantasinian side of the border between it and Bronquia. It was where the negotiations were taking place; the Queen and her friends stayed because a few of their number hailed from Karona, and the Imperials were staying because… well, no one knew exactly why. Aside from the fact that the Emperor didn't seem to feel like going all the way home and then just having to come back again later.

At any rate, the people of Karona were happily playing hosts to their two sets of guests, and the various members of both entourages were strewn across the castle grounds doing whatever pleased them.

A group of four girls sat in one of the tower rooms, looking down into the gardens where a young couple walked arm in arm, talking animatedly back and forth: the Astral Fencer, Russell, and his fiancée, Flone. It was impossible to tell what they were saying due to the distance, but the happy glow surrounding them couldn't be any clearer.

"Flone is so lucky," sighed one of the girls, who sat at the windowsill with her face propped in her hands, toying with the bronze-colored feathers woven into her emerald-colored hair. "I bet she isn't worried at all about what to do. The way they act, she knows Russell so well that getting his Valentine's present shouldn't be any kind of problem for her."

"And she can probably just hand it to him without worrying, too," lamented another, perched a short distance away, watching Russell and Flone out of the corner of her eyes. "It's shameful, but… I can't help but be a little… jealous…"

"Only a saint wouldn't be able to help being jealous of those two, Elena," a third girl informed the second. "Just look at them, so cozy it's enough to make you absolutely sick with envy. Russell and Flone must be the one-in-a-million couple that actually gets that fairy-tale romance. Lucky."

"Well, what kind of stress do you have about Valentine's Day, Rosary?" the first girl asked, giving the most recent speaker a dirty look. "You're confident and you can use your magic to cook if you're worried about messing up. Plus half the guys in the castle are totally in love with you. You can make chocolates and give them to whoever you like."

"There's no one I want to give them to," Rosary clarified with a frown, flicking her honey-brown hair over her shoulder with an elegant scowl. "No one here is really worthy of my interest. If there was a man around that I liked, maybe I would get something for him, but I don't think I'll be handing out any candy this year."

"What about Roswell?" asked the fourth girl, silent up to this point where she sat hunched over a checklist, her silver tiara set at a skewed angle on her heavy blonde braids.

"What about him?" Rosary huffed, crossing her arms. "Why would I waste time, effort, and perfectly good chocolate on a man like that? Roswell is my rival, in case any of you have forgotten. And he is definitely not boyfriend material."

The other girls in the room exchanged extremely unconvinced looks behind Rosary's back.

"Anyway, what exactly are you doing over there, milady monarch?" Rosary asked, artfully arching one long and tapered eyebrow. "You've been running around like mad for the past several days now, and the rest of us would like to know what's going on."

"It's for Valentine's Day," the girl said, sounding surprised. "I have to keep track of everyone. I don't want anybody to get left out."

"Oh, that's right—you're gonna try to get everybody chocolate, right, Yggdra?" the first girl asked, crossing her legs and looking at her companion with interest.

"Yes." Yggdra beamed at her friends. "I don't want a single person to feel left out. All the men here should get something special, shouldn't they?"

"It's such a kind thought," Elena said with a smile. "I'm sure everyone will appreciate it."

"I really can't believe you're doing this. It's bad enough for Elena and me just wanting to give one present this time of year." The first girl flopped onto her back and rolled over. "So… have you figured it all out yet?"

"Not quite…" Yggdra looked down at her list and tapped it, making a face. "There are a lot of people here who just don't like chocolate and candy that much, like Cruz, and there are some I just don't know well enough to decide what they would like. I want to ask around, but…"

"I'm sure Kylier, Elena, and I could help if you're having trouble," Rosary offered. "We could go interrogate people to find their interests. Or you could ask Flone. I'm sure she's quite the expert on that kind of thing."

"If I need help, I'll be sure to let you all know," Yggdra replied with a smile that clearly said she would do no such thing unless she was really in trouble. "Anyway… it's getting closer than you would think, and I should probably get started on the things I'm already sure of." She stood up, smoothed her skirts, straightened her crown, and bowed herself out of the room with her notes tucked under her arm.

The other three girls all sweatdropped.

"She talks around it, but she's probably just stressing about what to give You Know Who," Rosary said dryly. "Gods alone know what he likes to eat, but Yggdra's just too stubborn, too stupid, too besotted, or a little of all three to let the issue lie."

Kylier ran her hands through her hair. "Yeah… actually I kind of envy her. I've always thought that war and hate and revenge and all those things are crap, but I'm bad at letting things go, especially grudges. To think Yggdra managed to go from hating the guy to planning on giving him chocolate for Valentine's Day in less than a year… it's incredible. She's really a forgiving person."

"…That's true," Elena agreed. She paused, then turned to her friend. "…Kylier-san, have you decided on what you're giving Milanor-san yet?"

Kylier promptly reddened and made a face. "Uh… yeah, I'm pretty sure. Hope it works out though. What about you?"

"I have everything ready, but…" Elena looked evasively to the side, her cheeks slowly growing pink. "I… I'm not sure how I'm supposed to give someone a Valentine's Day gift."

"I did it last year, so it's not that big a deal for me, but…" Kylier made a face. "Boy, was I nervous then. I chickened out twice before I actually got up the nerve to give Milanor his present."

"What did you do then?" Rosary asked, still teasing her hair between two fingers.

"I bought him chocolate. It felt a little cheap, though, so this year I'm going to try making some myself," Kylier replied.

"By yourself?" Rosary asked, slowly beginning to smile.

"Of course by myself," Kylier replied, her face reddening.

"Are you sure?" Rosary said slowly, smirking and raising her eyebrows.

"Oh, just shut up," the green-haired griffon rider snapped, standing up and stomping out of the room.

There was a brief silence.

"You shouldn't tease her like that, Rosary-san," Elena ventured timidly.

"It's fun to push people's buttons."

"…Maybe that's why you haven't been able to talk to Roswell-san without starting an argument ever since the two of you joined Yggdra-san's army…" Elena shook her head.

Rosary scowled at her. "My idiot second cousin is just too sensitive. That's all it is." She stood up abruptly. "Have fun deciding how to ambush your beloved Zilva without me." And she sashayed off, clearly miffed.

Elena sighed and slumped down, pressing her face into her knees.

"Valentine's Day is going to be a total disaster this year…"

---

Meanwhile, another member of Queen Yggdra's circle of friends was wandering happily through the castle halls, humming a happy tune to herself as she enjoyed the soft warm breeze floating through the archers' slots along the walls. There was something special in the air, and it wasn't just the weather—unfamiliar with human culture she might be, but she could feel it. Something wonderful was going to happen any day now.

"Hi, Nietchan! What's up?"

Nietzsche the undine turned, surprised, to see that a blue-haired, blue-eyed girl had come up to join her. It was one of Yggdra's valkyrie bodyguards, the five sword maidens specially trained to protect her since they'd all been children. Known as the Queen's Flowers to the Royal military because they all had flower names, they looked so similar that Nietzsche still had trouble telling them apart—not only were they all sisters, but they were comprised of a pair of twins and a set of triplets.

"Nietzsche has a good feeling lately," the undine replied cheerfully. "It's like something really really good is just about to happen! I wonder why that is?"

The girl giggled. "Well, of course. Valentine's Day is next week, isn't it? Everyone's busy getting ready!"

"Valentine's Day?" Nietzsche blinked and cocked her head to one side. "What's Valentine's Day?"

"That's right… you probably wouldn't know, would you?" the sword maiden said, raising her eyebrows. "Well… Valentine's Day is a special holiday that's kind of like the day of love. Sometime on that day, a girl is supposed to give special chocolate to the person she likes. Then next month on White's Day, that person has to give her something in return. Nietchan, you probably wouldn't know since you're from Embellia and undines don't have the same culture as humans… but Valentine's Day is really important to people here. Everyone's really excited."

"So… that means that everyone is planning on giving chocolate to the one they like best?" Nietzsche asked slowly. "And so… Yggdra and Kylier, and Rosary and Elena and Flone and everyone are all…?"

"Pretty much. If you want to know more about it, you should probably ask them—I'm not giving anyone chocolate this year, but they've probably all got plans. And Yggtan says she wants to give everybody something next week, so if you want to learn more, you can probably go help her with that."

"Everybody? You can do that?"

"Well… Yggtan says she doesn't want anybody to feel left out, so she's giving generic chocolates to all the guys, but there is something special she wants to make for a certain someone, if you take my meaning," the sword maiden said with a little smile.

"Oh-h-h," Nietzsche replied, starting to grin. "Nietzsche understands!"

"Right? Well, there's no better time for her to go around to figure out what she should give him. It's really the only time she could do that without going up to ask him herself. She wants it to be a surprise."

"Nietzsche thinks he'll really be surprised!" the undine girl exclaimed, raising both arms into the air with a laugh. "It hasn't even been long since he and Yggdra actually became friends. It'll be fun!"

"Hn." The sword maiden giggled. "I'm definitely with you there, Nietchan. And, maybe I'm reading into it too much, but… this could be really good for the negotiation. I mean, a relationship like that… doesn't it seem like it would be a good omen for the times ahead?"

"…Yeah."

"Well, I have to go track down my sisters so we can nag Yggtan into accepting some help," the sword maiden told her. "I'll see you later, okay?"

"Okay!"

As the other girl headed off down the hall, Nietzsche stretched and smiled to herself. "…So it's a day of love, huh…?"

---

Meanwhile, hidden in a balcony above the hall where sword maiden and undine had just conversed, a certain pair of blonde valkyries turned to each other with dark looks on their faces.

"…This doesn't look good, Luciana," said the one with silk wrapped over the right side of her face in lieu of an eye patch. "You know how Gulcasa-nii is. If we let that girl get anywhere near him…"

"Then we won't let her get anywhere near him," the other replied stubbornly. "Don't worry, Aegina. We'll protect Gulcasa-nii no matter what."

---

Across the courtyard from all this stood the tower where the Emperor and his escort had decided to stay for the duration of the negotiations. The top room, a circular, lavishly furnished bedroom with wide oriel-style windows overlooking the interior of the castle and the surrounding lands, was currently occupied by the Emperor himself and one of his companions.

Gulcasa sat on a bench with his back to said windows, polishing his armor, his expression blank with concentration and his long red hair pulled back from his face so his view wouldn't be obscured. He was only up here to avoid the pathetic looks and whiny, incessant demands of "WHY do we have to stay here?" he knew he would get from his foster-sisters Aegina and Luciana if he ventured outside and they managed to find him. They probably wouldn't bother him up here. This was his room, making it his territory and therefore taboo to anyone who hadn't been invited.

Across the room from him, the blind mage Nessiah sat curled in the cushioned seat before the window that opened onto the courtyard, which he'd opened so he could enjoy the warm breeze from outside. His archaic golden spellbook lay open on his lap, with his hands resting on the pages. He was facing the open air, sitting with his bare feet up on the pillows and his chains trailing along the seat and out the window itself.

"So the Queen prepares her plans in secret to the displeasure of her estranged kin, while the Lady of the White Rose tries to deny her own heart, the brave of Lost Aries attempts a task she may not be able to perform, and our own young assassin gathers her courage…"

Nessiah sighed, stretched, and settled into a more comfortable position.

"Cupid certainly seems to be working overtime this year."

Gulcasa looked over his shoulder at his friend, pausing in trying to wipe a persistent bloodstain off his breastplate. "…I'm sorry, did you say something? I couldn't really hear you."

Nessiah shook his head and smiled.

"Don't worry about it," he told the Emperor with a soft chuckle. "It's nothing."

:TBC:

Notes on the text

Valentine's Day, White's Day: The customs described here are associated with the Japanese celebration of Valentine's Day and White's Day. More information on this can be obtained in basically any romance manga.

"Yggtan", "Nietchan", etc.: Yggdra's bodyguards have silly nicknames like these for most of the Royal Army, as well as for Gulcasa and Nessiah. Some of these are the Japanese nicknames for the characters, while others were made up by the author.

"Gulcasa-nii": Luciana and Aegina call Gulcasa "Your Majesty" in public, but when in private or when around those close to him, they call him "Gulcasa-nii" meaning basically "big brother Gulcasa".

Timeline: This story basically takes place a few months after the game's end. In typical Feral fluff style, since this is a romantic comedy rather than an angstfest, this means that a lot of people who died in YU's plot survived the events where they were supposed to have been killed. (Aside from Nessiah, no one miraculously came back to life. And Nessiah only came back to life because that's what he's been doing since he got kicked out of Asgard—remember, according to the game's plot he can't die and stay that way. Feral doesn't like to do that OMG resurrection thing, since it's a standby of bad fanfiction.)