I know i said one chapter only but i couldn't resist adding this last one. But thats the end, i swear.

Reason says we'll never work.

I spent the last few days watching Phil, we were working together on a fire arms case. Every time Phil flirted with the pretty informant we had to make frequent visits too it killed me . But every time he flirted with her he glanced at me. This little look barely noticable. Like he wanted to see my reaction. Wanted to make me jealous.

And i couldn't take playing it safe anymore. I couldn't take standing there with him so i walked. Went home in the middle of the day, forgot i was meant to meet Stuart for lunch and just sat by the river. Its so peacefull there, so calm and dark and inviting. Not for suicide no but to swim. I just wanted to dive in and swim, swim forever and never look back.

It hit me that i was hurting myself and Stuart more than a short relationship with Phil ever would. And it hit me that i'd rather die tomorrow after an hour with Phil than live 100 years with Stuart. It sounds so stupid and romantic, like something from a disney film. Reality isn't as magic as disney but why shouldn't it be? After all Phil says "Life is what you make it,"

The problem with Phil is he makes it too much.

Then it happened. I heard footsteps behind me and looking up i saw Phil. Wordlessly he dropped a c.d in my lap turned and walked away. It was a blank c.d, one that you burn your own songs onto. Curious i walked to my car and put it in the cd player.

Cause it's you and me and all other people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

Cause it's you and me and all other people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

There's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right

Cause it's you and me and all other people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

(You & Me - Lifehouse)

He always did like those big romantic Gestures. That's the differance between me and Phil. He risks everything to show his love, risking losing it and looking a fool in one. It's what i like about him.

Reason says we'll never work. I'd rather not listen to reason.