Title: Resident Furby
Authoress: Ladya C. Maxine
Rating: T
Summary: Ata's at it again with his bets and this time not even Bryan is spared…
Warning: strong language, some drinking, some ooc
Disclaimer: I do not own Beyblade or any of its characters. Any and all unrecognizable characters belong solely to me and are not to be touched. I am not making any money off of this and I write with the sole intent to entertain.
A/N: My friends at school inspired me with their completely nonsensical imitations of Furbies. A side-story from the "Untold Truths" universe, though it is closer to 'Boys Day In or Out?'
To those who still don't know and are confused by the summary, Tala is called Ata in the Untold Truth's universe.
And yes, the title is a play on Resident Evil.
Resident Furby
by Ladya C. Maxine
Boom! Scream! Slash! Shriek! Gun shots!
LEVEL 68 REACHED
"Yes!"
"Why?"
"Hn?" Bryan tilted his head in the direction of the enquirer, eyes fixed on the large plasma screen.
"It's ten a.m. You've only been up for fifteen minutes and already you're glued to that thing. What's so great about it?"
"Everything."
"What kind of an answer is that?"
"My kind. Now shut up."
"Answer it correctly and I won't throw the entire console into the swimming pool."
PAUSE
Turning, the lilac-haired blader glared at his younger team mate, who was sitting at a nearby table, going through those boring papers of his, now laying neglected as crimson eyes returned the glare from beneath slate-colored bangs.
"Touch it and face the consequences, Hiwatari. Painfully."
Kai scoffed, rolling his eyes at the threat. Bryan could, and usually did, carry out his threats, but seeing as he wasn't really planning on demolishing the videogame console (It had been bloody expensive) he brushed off the falcon's words. Sitting back in his chair, twirling his pen, Kai studied the frozen image on screen, trying to find any appeal in the carnage.
"All you do is shoot, fillet and blow up enemies. Don't you ever get tired of the same thing?"
"No," was the answer and the game was continued, chaos and mayhem bouncing off the lounge's long walls.
Boom! Boom! Slash! Slash!
"Freak," Kai sighed loudly.
"You shouldn't try to figure him out."
Bryan didn't even blink but Kai looked over as their companion entered the room, carrying a small plastic bag. Two things were wrong with the picture. One, Ata was a shopaholic and never took less than four hours to do any shopping, even when shopping for groceries, so for him to have returned after just half an hour was mind boggling. Two, Ata was a shopaholic and never brought back less than a truckload of things, even when shopping for groceries, so for him to only be toting a small plastic bag was just wrong.
"So what is he good for?" Kai asked nonetheless, ignoring the one-fingered salute Bryan gave him over the couch.
"Personal amusement," Ata replied, smiling devilishly and holding up his prized purchase. "I hold here in my hand the start of a revolution. A force than will one day rule the world."
"Teddy's Arcade?" Kai read the logo on the bag with a raised brow. "Look out, Biovolt."
"Nice sarcasm," Ata countered equally, up for some theatrics today. "Bryan?"
"Hn?" Again, the eldest teen's head tilted but he did not look back.
"Remember what happened last night?"
"No. Now shove it and let me play."
"Fine, fine," Ata sighed, giving in way too quickly. "I guess I'll just have to talk to Kai about a little incident that happened at the Abbey about seven years ago when you wetted your--"
"Shut up!"
"Go on!" Kai encouraged, marvelling that he hadn't heard of this before, considering than Ian would have most likely witnessed it as well.
"What the hell did you buy, Ivanov?" Bryan gave in, pausing his game and turning on the spot, giving his captain his complete attention.
"Funny you should ask. Remember what I said last night that you've probably played every game out there?"
"Yeah."
"And you said that you could play any game you got your hands on?"
"…Yeah."
"Well, I took it upon myself to see if it's true and went out and bought you an entirely new game that should prove to be…an unprecedented challenge."
The light eyes narrowed and the falcon got to his feet and walked over, looking down at his captain from his distinct height advantage. Having grown bored with his files, Kai came over as well, wanting to see firsthand how this new development was going to unfold. Ata smiled amiably. A definitely bad sign. Kai was so glad it wasn't meant for him.
"Ivanov," Bryan growled, growing impatient with curiosity and suspicion.
"First, you have to agree. Raise your hand."
"Stop being such a pain."
The bright blue eyes narrowed and the hands came to rest on the redhead's slender hips. Other people usually saw this as a somewhat girly pose, but his friends knew that when adopting this stance Ata was rather close to doing something that would lead to either great pain or terrible humiliation, or both. Fools saw it as girly; dead men saw it as an ill-omen.
Bryan muttered something beneath his breath and accordingly raised his right hand. Tala's posture changed immediately, bright smile back in place.
"Do you, Bryan Kuznetsov, accept the challenge I have just issued?"
Rolling his eyes, something he wasn't renown for doing, Bryan sneered.
"I do."
"And do you, Bryan Kuznetsov, swear to complete this challenge that you have just accepted?"
"I do."
"And will you, Bryan Kuznetsov, marry me?"
"I do—Fuck no, I don't!"
"Sorry," Ata snickered. "Couldn't resist. Back to business. In the event that you do not or cannot complete this task, do you, Bryan Kuznetsov, give me permission to tell Kai that little story you so rudely interrupted, under the impression that you are the King of Gaming and are thus convinced that you will succeed?"
"Are you mocking me?"
"Answer the question," Tala and Kai said simultaneously.
"I do."
"There are rules. Do you wish to hear them?"
"Do I have a choice?"
"This game is nowhere as long as the others and can be completed within ten hours. Once you've started, you are not allowed to abandon playing with the exception of bathroom breaks. If you are unable to complete the game within 12 hours, you lose. If you are unable to continue the game, you lose. If you lose all sense of reality and have to be forcibly placed into a straightjacket and carried out of this penthouse by two men dressed in white, you lose. Do you accept these rules?"
"What the hell did you buy?" Bryan wondered, though nodded.
"Then I present you with your challenge."
Kai watched on in silence, more than happy that he wasn't in Bryan's shoes. Or socks, as they never wore shoes while in the house. All the same, the falcon was going to be their source of entertainment today, whether he knew it (or liked it) or not.
Taking the bag from Ata, Bryan studied its outer logo, brows furrowed. The older boy knew every video store game in Moscow yet this one didn't seem to be ringing any bells. Trust Ata to find an elusive, shady shop in some crooked alley and actually buy something there. The redhead was either really bored today or Bryan must have done something when Kai hadn't been looking to really tick the wolf off.
Silence fell upon the three as Bryan reached into the bag and pulled out…a wrapped cartridge. Bright purple wrapping paper with little white birds all over and a large blue bow on which was a tag that read: To Bryan, with love.
Kai choked back his laughter, covering his mouth with a hand and tried to look as un-amused as Bryan did though his red eyes sparkled with slowly building tears. If this was just the wrappings…
"Open it," Ata urged, winking at Kai.
Cursing in a language that would have earned him a very torturous ear-wringing from Natasia, had she been around to hear it, Bryan began to tear away the paper, purposefully tossing the bow at Kai, who would have commented on the action, but any accusation left his mind when he saw something that would stay with him for the rest of his life. Scratch that: this would follow him into the afterlife and beyond.
Bryan. Looked. Horrified.
Usually, it was the falcon who unleashed horror on others, but seeing the already pale skin actually whiten and the violet eyes dilate made Kai uncomfortable.
Ata's grin could not have been any more sadistic.
"I hope I've picked one you've never played."
Tired of being left out, Kai snatched the partially revealed item from Bryan's numb fingers. He read the title…and his reaction couldn't have been any more opposite than Bryan's.
"The Adventures Of Furby And His Friends In Snuggy Wuggy Land?"
…snort
…snicker
…manic laugher!
By the time Bryan recovered from his shock both teens were out of breath and gripping their aching sides. Kai had collapsed back into his seat, roaring his head off. Ata was leaning against the wall, head buried in his arms though his shaking shoulders told all. A force ripped the package out of Kai's hand and Bryan stomped over to the game console. Saving his current game, he removed the cartridge and placed the sickly pastel green and blue Furby cartridge into the console.
"You're actually going to play it?" Kai gasped, trying to draw some air back into his depleted lungs.
No answer but the blank screen suddenly exploded with sparkly colours and the ominous sound of happy-clappy kiddy-friendly music droned through the speakers. All three visibly cringed at the cheerful, high-pitch giggles and corny encouragements like:
"You can do anything you put your mind to!"
and…
"Friends forever!"
and…
"It's furby-tastic!"
"This can't be healthy," Kai mused, staring at the screen, his innards crawling just by watching the multi-coloured little hairballs hop around in a flowery field.
"Hi there, fwiend!" An ogle-eyed freak popped up on screen, badly animated and with a voice that made them want to stab out their eardrums. "Pway with us? We wuv you vewy, vewy much aweady! Wet's have fun!"
Nothing happened. Bryan was sitting there with a look of total disbelief on his face.
"Bryan…" Ata prodded, leaning on the back of the couch.
Steeling his nerves, Bryan hit the PLAY button.
"Yay! Wet's pway!"
"I think I'm going to be sick," Kai groaned.
Bryan was a solid block, showing no emotions as he selected a player. Bryan usually chose the most gruesome, most hideous, most deformed playable character. It was hard to find something similar amongst the one inch tall balls of colourful fluff. Still clinging to his old ways, Bryan choose a dark blue one, the most "depressing" colour of them all.
"I'm Jiffy!" it squealed. "Wet's go!"
Bryan took a deep breath and didn't even snap at Tala when the redhead gave him an encouraging pat on his shoulder.
"Good luck," Kai offered before Jiffy went spiralling through star-infested portals.
One hour later…
"Whee! Wevel thwee! This is fun! Awen't you having fun, fwiend?"
Bryan emptied his seventh bottle of beer. Tala quickly supplied him with a new one while Kai searched the cabinets for painkillers.
"Ooh! Wook at that! It's our bestest fwiend: Mr Wiggwy Piggwy! Hello, Mr Wiggwy Piggwy!"
"Oink!"
Bryan emptied his eight bottle in two gulps.
Two hours later…
"Good job! Give yourself a big hug! One, two, three, four; here we go to wevel 4! What's that spell? Four! Wheeee!"
"…Huh?" Kai blinked.
"If I was a kid I'd be offended," Tala added.
"How many levels does this thing have anyway?"
Tala checked the box.
"Twenty-four…We're going to need more beer."
Three hours later…
"Oh no! What will we do? I have to bwing Kitty Witty back to his bestest friend! Can you help me?…Supah! You're a good fwiend!"
Bryan rubbed his sore head.
"Bring out the vodka?" Kai offered, growing anxious that they may be pushing the falcon to his wit's end…which wasn't that hard considering Bryan wasn't exactly what one could call mentally secure.
"Bring me the gun."
"Killing yourself is against the rules," Tala reminded, reading a book.
"…Pass the vodka."
Five hours later…
"He hasn't said anything for the past ten minutes," Kai noticed, looking up from the documents he had brought over to the couch.
"Who? Bryan or Jiffy?" Tala asked, having also been engrossed in his work: building a castle out of a deck of cards.
"Jiffy. Actually…it's too quiet."
"…Bryan, turning off the volume is cheating!"
Grumbling, the falcon turned the sound back up.
"…and then we'll go see my grandmama and she'll tell us a stowey! Won't that be fun?"
Seven hours later…
"You know, Bryan, you'd be great at drinking games," Tala said, looking over the empty bottles of alcohol, the contents of which having yet to affect Bryan though did wonders to ease his suffering.
"Why does it have to skip?" Bryan asked, grinding his teeth and glowering at his furry buddy on screen. "Why does the little retard have to freakin' skip everywhere? And why does it have to sing that annoying tune all the time? And why can't I drown it in the pond?"
"Wouldn't be appropriate for the targeted age group," Kai offered.
"Ooooooh! Wookie! It's Mr Bawn Owl! What type of sound does Mr Bawn Owl make…?"
"I can't take much more of this."
"That's wight! Hoo! Hoo! And what type of sound does a happy Mr Bawn Owl make…?"
"You've been through worse," Ata said.
"You wight! Hoo-hahaha! Hoo-hahaha! Wheeeeeeeeee!"
Ata gave Bryan what had to be his hundredth apologetic look that afternoon.
Eight hours later…
"Off to tha final wevel! Off to tha final wevel! Lalalalalalaaaaaaa!"
Kai didn't know which was scarier: the bumbling tuff of misery's happy dance or Bryan's haunted, desperate face as he raced to the end his suffering. His eyes were bulging and bloodshot and his face looked gaunt. His knuckles and fingers were white and he had blisters on his thumbs. About ten minutes ago he began muttering incoherently, which Kai couldn't understand but he had a suspicion that it had to be something along the line of: "…Almost over…Almost over…Almost over…Almost over…"
"You can do it," Ata encouraged, sitting behind the falcon, massaging his shoulders. He'd finally stepped in to offer moral support when Bryan had started to let out small fits of insane laugher the closer he got to the finish line. "Just find the twickle-bicycle and ride down Hearty Hills, through Tiny Town and deliver the Yummy Muffins to Misses Dolly Molly and you can go to Pwetty Palace and tell everyone how much you love them and how much fun you had in Snuggy Wuggy Land and you'll have completed the game."
"I did not just hear you say that," Kai groaned, sprawled on the couch behind Ata, unable to even watch.
Bryan, however, nodded, a hysterically eager look on his face.
"Complete the game…Dolly Wolly…Make it go away…Pwetty Palace…Strangle Jiffy…Almost there…Almost…" Pitched giggle. "Yummy Muffins delivered! There's Pwetty Palace! Look! There it is! It's pretty, right? That's got to be it! Hehe…Almost finished!"
"Don't fall into the Riva of Rainbows or you'll have to go back to start," Ata warned, pointing with one hand.
"No! Don't want to start again! Careful…careful…"
"Wow! Wook at all those pwetty flowars! Should we pick some for our fwiends?"
"No, I don't want to. Takes too long…Tala, I don't want to!"
"You don't have to. Just keep walking," Ata said softly, wrapping his arms around shaking shoulders, like a mother hushing her distressed child. "Just walk through the gates. Look, everyone's there waiting for you."
An orchestra of corny xylophone music swelled up and all the furry freaks began bouncing circles around ol' Jiffy.
"Wow! That was a wot of fun! I had such a good time twavelling twough Snuggy Wuggy Land, didn't you, fwiend? And we met a wot of good fwiends and made a wot of new fwiends too! Too bad it's ova…Good job, though! We finished our long journey, my fwiend!"
"YES!" Bryan yelled, throwing down the controls and jumping to his feet, inadvertedly tossing Ata back onto Kai as he began jumping around the room like a prized lunatic, high on victory and frayed nerves. "HAHAHAAA! YES! I DID IT! TAKE THAT, YOU LITTLE SHIT! HAHA! I'M DONE WITH YOUR ASS!"
"Are you happy too? That's gweat! Is there anything you wanna say to all our fwiends?"
"YEAH, I HOPE THEY GANGBANG YOU IN HELL! HAHAHA!"
"That's a nice thing to say! You awe a good fwiend. I wuv playing with you. Let pway again weally, weally soon, okay?"
"NO!" Bryan froze mid jump, shocked. "FUCK NO!"
"Next time, wet's pway at another wevel, where we'll meet many, many, many new fwiends and spend even more time together!"
"LEAVE ME ALONE!"
"Hey, wet's sing our Best Fwiend song before you go! Beeeeeeeesssttt fwiends, beeeeeeeeesssttt fwiends, you and I are beeeeeeeessssttt fwiends, I wike you—"
"Bryan!" Kai tried to intervene but was still pinned down by Ata. "Don't do it!"
"WIKE THIS, BITCH!" Bryan, having ripped the entire console out, shouted. With a crazed battle cry he smashed it through the glass doors, sending it over the balcony. He laughed, leaning over the railing to watch its descent, almost caving an innocent pedestrians head in as it smashed into the pavement. "HOW YOU LIKE THAT, FREAK?! TAKE YOUR FRIENDS AND SHOVE THEM UP YOUR FUZZY ASS! SHIT, I'M FREE! I'M FREE! I'M…I'M ALIVE!! FUCKING HELL, I'M ALIVE!"
He ran back inside, scooped Ata up in his arms and danced around the room with him, chanting, "I WON! I DEFEATED IT! I WON!" before smashing their mouths together in a fevered kiss. He'd snapped! Too much stress, beer and happy-clappy songs! "I WON THE BET, TALA! HA! I BEAT YOU AT YOUR OWN SICK, FURRY GAME! TAKE THAT!"
Kai tried to sneak away unnoticed, only to be grabbed and kissed just as soundly. When Bryan released him he fell back onto the couch, eyes wide and feeling violated. Ata dropped down next to him, joining him in staring at their friend, petrified.
"I owned that game! In your face, bitches! Shit! I'm gonna call Spencer and tell him! I FUCKING RULE!" Bryan shouted, grabbing the phone and dashing out the room, bounding up the stairs with heavy steps while he dialled. "HEY, SPENCE! GUESS WHAT!"
His bedroom door slammed and all Kai and Ata could hear was the ringing in their ears. They could still hear Bryan's muffled excitement as he rattled on to a confused Spencer. Ata moved first, shifting closer to Kai and wrapping the bluenette's arms around him.
"What just happened?" was all he could ask.
"Nothing," Kai insisted with a shaky voice, hugging his friend close. "Nothing happened. I don't remember anything. I won't remember anything. Whatever happened…didn't. We didn't see it. We didn't hear it. We didn't feel it. I'm going to let you go and go take a shower and go to bed and when I wake up it'll be all over."
"Um…" Ata said, reaching down to pull something from under the couch. A small empty plastic bag with Teddy's Arcade written on it. "…So, was it a bad idea to leave Return Of Furby And His Friends To Snuggy Wuggy Land on Bryan's pillow?"
"MOTHERFUCKING HELL!" came a shrill scream of terror from upstairs. "SPENCER, IT'S BACK! IT'S IN MY BED! SHIT! IT'S AFTER ME! NO, I AM NOT HALUCINATING! IT'S ON MY PILLOW!"
"I need a beer," Kai said, getting to his feet, head hurting.
"Bryan drank it all."
"…Get me my gun."
"Okay, so he'll cause some major damage before we can calm him down, but shooting him isn't going to solve anything."
"Who says it's for him…?"
"…Oh."
"Oh, indeed."
"…"
"…"
"Goodnight!"
"Ata!" Kai shouted as the redhead swivelled and hightailed it out of the room. The redhead wasn't going to get off that easy. Kai gave chase, only picking up more speed when what could only be Falborg's war cry screeched on the floor above them and he felt the entire foundation shake when a blast ripped through the upstairs rooms.
Damn, did he ever hate videogames…
THE END
A/N:…….Oo WTF?!, you ask? Hey, I was just in the mood. Sorry for putting Bryan through that. My nephew just got the lamest game ever (Bob the Builder shudders) and I had to put up with three hours of "Good job!" and "Let's go, team!" and "Uh, I think so!", plus my friends voices kept going "Fuuuuurrbiiiieeee!" in my head…Damn, now I need a beer!
Read & Review, please.