Not Okay : Martyr of Rekai

A/N: Thank you for the reviews. Please, if you like or don't like it, tell me. Flames are most certainly welcome. Um, yeah so please read and review. Thanks.

I

It was like time slowed. Like it does in action films when something terrible happens to the main character. When every breath lasts about five minutes. When every sense in your body becomes so much sharper and defined.

Yusuke stared down at the ferry girl. One of his best friends. She looked like she was sleeping. Her eyes closed but not squeezed shut. No pain frozen on her face. In fact... there was a slight curve to her lips. A sad smile forever gracing her face.

Kurama didn't want to believe it. He saw her. He smelled her. He even could feel the lack of energy. She had none left. But... but... he still couldn't bring himself to just... to just brush Botan off so quickly.

Kuwabara began to cry. His nose was running and his fists were clenched as he sobbed loudly. He sounded like a child who lost his mother.

Koenma was different. Instead of sobbing or becoming torn apart by grief, he just kneeled down beside his best friend. His prized ferry girl. He brushed some hair out of her eyes, smiling faintly. Like he was reminiscing about all the times that they had been through. Living through the good and the bad.

He kissed her forehead, and as he did, he squeezed his eyes shut and began to pray.

II

She's dead. Hiei was desperately trying to stop the tear gems from falling out of his eyes. After all of that... He saw Botan standing above him, her eyes closed in concentration as she healed him. Taking away his pain. After... everything... The Forbidden Child froze as the memory of her lips against his surfaced. She... she died. Her last words. Her last expression. Everything. For me...

Hiei Jaganshi, legendary Makai Thief known for his lack of compassion and maniacal nature, refused to look at her. He couldn't.

Because... because that would mean that he accepted the fact that she was dead and gone. Which, to him, she wasn't. Hiei's legs began to shake.

Because no one sacrifices themself for the Forbidden Child.

No one.

He felt Kurama's green eyes on him. Hiei didn't meet them. He wanted to do so many things. His instincts were like birds, clawing at him.

Hiei wanted to turn around and see the baka ferry onna. To see her alive and smiling.

He wanted to turn around and see her dead. To go up to her and hug her tightly, damned if his friends see him or not.

He also wanted to run. Run as far away as he could and just... just...

Die.

It was the least he could do, really. As more tear gems fell onto the dry, cracked ground, Hiei felt his own chest tighten. As if it were collapsing on itself. A burst of tear gems fell, and he knew it was hopeless to think that no one noticed.

That was when he heard low chanting. Hiei, wiping his eyes rapidly, using the back of his arm, turned and finally looked at Botan. Who was under Koenma.

III

"To you, our Lord, who is merciful and kind." Koenma breathed against her forehead. "To you, our savior, our Father. Our God." Modest tears dripped from his nose onto her skin that still shimmered with sweat. "Oh Father, please, recognize a martyr when you see one. Reward your child. Praise her."

His eyes opened. He had seen it. The light of his Father.

"Raise her."

IV

Kurama tried to catch Hiei's eyes, but he refused. He knew that Hiei was... crying. The fox didn't know whether he should mourn with him, or if he should be proud of him.

It was all just too overwhelming. Yusuke blinking the tears away. Kuwabara just letting himself loose and crying his eyes out. And Hiei... Hiei Jaganshi shedding tear gems.

The kitsune watched Koenma bend over his closest friend. His lips pressed against her forehead tightly. His eyes clamped shut. After he moved his lips so that they were just hovering above her, he began to talk. In a low and breathy voice.

And tears began to fall.

V

Hiei was lightheaded as a light... small, but still there, appeared. It was in the center of her chest. A tiny sphere. It was pure white, but sparks of colors flew off of it. Koenma stood and backed away slowly.

The ferry girl's body rose into the air. The sphere sizzled and popped. The Rekai Tentei were silent, mouths open and eyes wide as the ball of light sank deep into Botan's body.

Her pink eyes flashed open, her lips open in an O of surprise. In that moment, her eyes jerked around until she found Hiei. Their eyes met. For that short moment, Hiei's entire body relaxed. For that short moment, time stopped entirely.

Then she closed her eyes and fell to the ground. She was out cold, her chest rising and falling with newfound life. Now... she really was only sleeping.

Yusuke fell to the ground, his knees deciding to not support him any more. Kuwabara sniffed loudly, getting the mucus back up into his nasal cavities. Kurama felt his lungs empty themselves as he watched with blurry eyes as Botan breathed. Koenma closed his eyes and tilted his head backward, his face slack in delight and satisfaction.

That was when time started.

Already Yusuke was turning his head, to look at Hiei. To question. To be angry.

But... when the detective turned... Hiei was gone.

VI

"There, that should be good." Koenma smacked his hands together and arched his back, cracking it. "How do you like it?"

Botan gazed around her house. She had been there just a few days ago, but it felt like she hadn't stepped foot inside in centuries. She ran her fingers over the walls, the wood, and the windows. Her entire house was repaired. All the damages that Amiri had caused... were gone.

It had been about two weeks since she had been brought back to life.

"It's great." They walked up the stairs to her bedroom. She opened the door, half expecting the bed to be left in ruins without the sheets. However, it seemed that Koenma had given her a new bed instead. "I love it."

She sat down on the bed and bounced a bit. Koenma bowed and left. The ferry girl looked out the window, still on her three month vacation. She got up and opened the window, staring out into the night sky.

In these two weeks of being alive, Botan hadn't heard from Hiei. Not once.

VII

Branches of trees kept hitting Kurama in the face. The sting that they brought to his skin only drove him on further in his quest. His red hair was full of thorns and his face had greasy dirt smeared across it.

The fox had been on his little "journey" for five days.

His mouth was dry and he smelled a little like curdled milk. He finally came to a clearing... to his goal.

There, on the ground, on his knees, was Hiei Jaganshi. His head bent forward and his arms away from him. His eyes were closed, and judging by the lethargic pace at which his lungs expanded, he was asleep.

Unconscious was a better word for it.

Kurama stumbled out of the foliage, wiping sweat off of his brow using the back of his sleeve. He marched over to his best friend and grabbed his chin, forcing him to look up at him.

He didn't wake up.

Without a flicker of hesitation or remorse, Kurama pulled his hand back, like a batter preparing to hit a home run. In a fiery thrust, the kitsune's hand made brutal contact with Hiei's face.

Red eyes flashed open as Kurama released him.

"What the hell, Kurama...?"

Hiei rubbed the side of his face, and that was when Kurama saw his hands. They were all bloodied up, his knuckles mainly. As he rubbed his cheek, sticky red patches were left behind.

"What did you do to yourself?"

The Koorime looked away and the fox followed his eyes to the trees. They were broken in half.

"Just training." They both knew that it was complete bullshit. Hiei liked to keep himself in peak condition. That meant no scarred up hands. "What do you want?"

Kurama swallowed some saliva that had been building up in his mouth.

"I've been trying to find you for five days."

He was hoarse.

"I know."

A silence. Kurama sat down, cracking his neck. He reached into a pouch on his back and pulled out a canteen. He sipped it and then sighed.

"Want some?" The fire demon shook his head. "You've been avoiding me." No answer. "She's back, living and good as new." Hiei now looked away, picking away at the frayed skin on his knuckles. "Koenma fixed her house. She's got a three month vacation. Everything is back to normal."

Kurama stared at Hiei. Hiei stared at his hands.

"Botan... she died because of me." Kurama might have been able to move his face into an astonished expression when Hiei used Botan's name, but he had been traveling for five straight days without sleep. "I don't want..." Kurama leaned forward. "I don't want her to die again."

The fox had a small smile on his face.

"Before I left to find you, I stood outside of Botan's window." He coughed. "She was crying." Hiei met Kurama's eyes, glaring. Silently telling him that if he was lying, Kurama was a dead man. "She never said anything the entire time, but she cried herself to sleep that night."

Hiei ripped off a particularly large piece of skin.

"I... I..."

Even in his flat voice, no emotion crossing those sound waves, Hiei's stone face broke. His lips curled downwards and his eyes were hooded. Kurama's hand reached out and touched his best friend's shoulder. Hiei looked up into the fox's eyes.

"You're a good demon, Hiei." The fire demon couldn't decide whether to snarl at Kurama and tell him to get his hand off of him or to bite his lip in confusion. "You'll know what to do."

With that, Kurama rolled onto the balls of his feet, his hand sliding off of Hiei's skin. His legs strained with aches and pains. He stood, stretched, and walked off.

As Kurama staggered back into the woods, he felt Hiei's eyes on him the whole way.

You'll know what to do. A smile spread across his worn, dry, and cracked lips. And when you go back to her, you better face the fact that you love her.

VIII

Botan couldn't sleep. She wasn't going to cry. She knew... deep down she knew that she wasn't going to see Hiei again. She was romantic, but not delusional. The ferry girl walked down the stairs and into the kitchen.

She didn't want coffee. Nor milk. In fact, the ferry girl didn't want anything. She sat down at the table and stared at the digital clock.

11:57 p.m.

Was Hiei mad at her?

Maybe because... he told me not to summon Rekai powers again... and I... and I did anyway.

She pressed her finger down on the mark made on her hand. The mark of a martyr. The pentagram on the inside of her right wrist. Her pink eyes were dry. She wasn't going to cry over the inevitable.

Hiei is Hiei. Not Prince Charming. Not my knight in shining armor. Her lips twitched. She might have smiled if things were different. Although... maybe he can be my regular knight. No shining armor. Just cape and katana.

11:58 p.m.

She immediately ceased her thoughts.

No. Hiei Jaganshi is Hiei Jaganshi. He saved my life, on multiple occasions, but that doesn't mean anything. He's saved others before.

Botan finally had to do something so she started to boil water for the tea. She twisted the knob on the oven so it was up to high.

Should I look for him? She really was torturing herself. No... just... let him go. He's better off.

11:59 p.m.

To think that... for a little bit... I was in lo–

The tea kettle whistled. The ferry girl frowned. It was fast. Almost too fast. She got up and turned off the flame. Pulling out a pot holder, she grasped the metal hanger.

"Ow!"

She pulled back and bit her lip. The pot holder fluttered to the floor. She stared at it, realizing that the kettle had burned a hole right through it.

Pulling out three more potholders, the ferry girl picked it up, smirking in triumph as it didn't burn her again. She poured the water into the teapot and dropped two tea bags in.

She soon had a cup of tea in her hand.

12:00 a.m.

Botan blew on the tea. It was going to be an all nighter. She could tell already. She was about to cautiously sip the drink. That was when she heard the front door slam open.

The ferry girl flinched. She didn't even have time to shout when Hiei flickered into her vision.

Her cup shattered to the ground.

The two companions stared at each other. Botan couldn't breathe. It was the... the first real time that she had seen him since she was brought back to the world of the living. His hands were wrapped in his bandages, but the wrappings were soggy and black, the colored of dried blood.

"H-Hiei?" His eyes never left hers. "What are you doing here?"

IX

Hiei's Jagan Eye was open, and he knew that he was making her house hotter than usual with his concentration and anxiety. He kicked open the door, breaking it off at the hinges.

And... he appeared right there. Staring into her pink eyes.

Just the sight of her made the throbbing stinging in his hands go away. He was able to breathe again.

"H-Hiei? What are you doing here?"

The baka didn't even notice the broken glass on the floor, and she stepped forward. Hiei practically tackled her. He ended up crunching the shards beneath his shoes, holding her back.

"Hn. Baka ferry onna."

She had been biting her lip. Holding something back. Her face, which had once been calm and collected, broke. She backed away from him and covered her face with her hands. Hiei smelled the rush of tears before they actually came.

"I-It f-f-f-figures! I-I-I've w-worried about y-you!" She hiccuped and wheezed in a breath. Hiei's eyes slowly began to widen. What Kurama saw... wasn't even half of what she was feeling. Her back was turned to him. Slouched. "Y-You said y-y-y-you'd n-never l-l-l-leave m-me."

Kami... onna don't cry over me.

"If you were worried, why didn't you try to find me?"

Inwardly, the Koorime winced at the harsh statement. It was cold. Stone cold. Botan took her hands away, her face red with tears.

"B-because I t-thought you were m-m-mad at m-me."

She heaved when she talked. Her anger, her confusion, grief, disappointment, and something else so powerful it was tearing her apart. Hiei, however, was taken aback. Mad at her? Was she insane?

"Baka onna." She sniffed and swallowed her sobs. She was gaining control again, her face flushing red with embarrassment. She was wiping her eyes on the back of her sleeves. "Why would I be mad at you?"

His voice was still unwavering. Flat. As usual. She was trembling as she smiled for a short while.

"W-well... because... you didn't want me to use R-Rekai p-power and I d-d-did anyway."

Baka.

He brought a hand up to her face.

"You're delusional."

He smirked, to tell her that it was okay to laugh. And she did reward with him a giggle. She touched his hand and Hiei had no time to react before a flash of white light and a quick cooling sensation made the pain in both of his hands disappear.

"I've gotten new privileges as a martyr." She was trying not to grin. "I can tap into Rekai's power without conse–"

She was cut off by Hiei's lips. His face was slowly turning pink and Botan was already glowing red. He couldn't help it. He needed to tell her... show her.

Slowly pulling back, he smirked at her startled expression.

"What? We've done this before, onna."

He was teasing her. A game that she now knew of. The game that he had played with her since he met her.

"But... but that was just to let me know if Amir–"

Another bruising kiss. He licked at her bottom lip and she opened her mouth slightly. They were so caught up in the moment that Botan's hands stopped trembling. She moaned and then squeaked, ashamed of herself.

Hiei pulled back, and he was feeling so much better. He smirked, his infamous smirk, and snorted softly. He picked her up and he carried her to the bedroom, smiling. As he opened the door, Botan's arms tightened around his neck.

"I missed you."

The fire demon closed his eyes as he nipped her the skin on her exposed shoulder, gently placing her on her bed. The pain from his hands were gone, but he still remembered its sting. Onna, if only you knew.

His arms slid down to circle her waist. His eyes closed as they simply shared an embrace.

"I missed you too, Botan."

You'll never be alone...

X

That night, Hiei gave Botan compassion. It could have been a wild, passionate night, but all that transpired was kisses. Caresses. Promises. Whispers.

That night, they did sleep together. In each other's arms. Though, Botan slept first. Hiei stayed awake for just a little bit longer. He heard the onna... his onna moan and snuggle deeper into his chest.

His left arm pulled her close. His blood red eyes drifted shut, inhaling the scent of her hair. He couldn't even hear his heart as his breathing slowed. He was at peace.

Eternal Nirvana.

XI

One year later

Yusuke's eyes were clouded with wine. The lights were hazy and with his arm around the waist of his mate, Keiko. They were engaged. To be wed by nigen ritual.

Kurama and Shizuru were laughing by their side. Kuwabara and Yukina talking with Keiko. Koenma was listening in on Yusuke's conversation, Genkai standing next to him, nodding sagely.

But... the reason that the ex-detective's eyes were wandering from the faces of his friends was because of a certain pair hadn't shown. Not quite yet.

"Hey, Kurama." The fox looked up at the tipsy detective. "When do you think Hiei and Botan will get here?"

The half fox demon half nigen simply shrugged. His green eyes twinkled under the moonlight, and the detective happened to know why. Even if his foxy friend didn't tell him.

He saw Hiei's face the day Botan died.

Yusuke had never seen such torment. Such self hatred. Such... such... love.

A creak. The crack of wood against the side of his house. The screech of the rusted hinges rubbing against each other as the gate to their yard swung open. And there they were.

The fireflies of summer lit their way, the way of the new couple. The new mates.

Hiei had his black overcoat on, and he had fashioned himself a new katana. And Botan, she was wearing a pale yellow summer dress.

The detective watched with alcohol enhanced eyes as they walked forward. Hiei heading for Kurama. Botan heading for... everyone.

Hiei's neck was covered with a scarf, but Botan's was not. On the patch of skin where shoulder meets neck was a scar. Pale. Made a while ago. A demon mating mark.

XII

Kurama and Hiei slowly backed away so that they were alone. The old friends smiled at each other.

"Glad I got you to listen?"

"Hn. Like that would have mattered."

Kurama's hands slid into his pockets as he rolled on his heels.

"You've made her yours."

Hiei nodded.

"I have."

His crimson eyes slowly slid away to watch her laugh, sipping some wine.

"How long have you loved her?"

Her pink eyes, glittering like the stars themselves, met his. And she smiled. A true, pure hearted smile.

"In a way... since I first met her." Her annoyingly optimistic persona made him obsess over her. Obsessive so far that hatred turned to curiosity in a matter of minutes. When he saw her work her magic on Yusuke's mate. That was how fast he was ensnared by her. "It feels like... almost... that's she's always been there."

Botan ran over, and as she dragged a dark and growling Hiei towards what looked to be a beckoning Yusuke.

Kurama lingered back for a moment. Hiei's hand slipped into Botan's. His right into her left. When their skin touched, their eyes met once more. And for that short moment, a split second in the never ending river of time, Hiei visibly softened. His shoulders relaxed and his lips curled into a smile. Not a mixture between a smirk and a smile. A true, blue moon smile.

His face slackened and his eyes held a new light to them. Botan bit her lip, and her hand squeezed his lightly.

Then time sped up, and Hiei's smile faded into a grimace as Yusuke grabbed his shoulders, shaking him. Botan's eyes were torn from her mate's as Keiko began to talk animatedly to her.

Hiei and Botan, they really were under true love's spell.

Yusuke fell over, and everyone rushed to his side. That was when Hiei went on tip toe and Botan leaned down. Their lips connected, and they shared a semi secret kiss. Kurama's eyes became hooded as Yusuke turned to see the two ensnared in their moment.

Loud whoops and uncontrollable laughter came from Yusuke and Kuwabara.

All in all, it seems like we've always had each other... since the very beginning.

The End

XIII

A/N: Sorry for lack of warning, but this IS the last chapter. Sorry. I'm so sad to let it go, but it's all good. I just finished watching The Fountain with Hugh Jackman and Rachel Weiss. Oh man, I was crying the entire time. Anyway, please tell me what you think. I think it got sad, but I charmed it up. But... was I missing something? I might be paranoid, but I can't help but think that I might have just forgot a touch of something. If you know what it is, please tell me in a review. Review!

-mia

p.s. Also, just whatever you thought of the last chapter would be nice. Thank you!