The Diary of Rei
By: LowFlyer1080

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon or the rights to "The Diary of Jane" by Breaking Benjamin. Also, Shanejayell owns the idea of Arisugawa's Locket, I'm just borrowing it for this story. I hope you don't mind, Jayell-sensei, I'm a huge fan of your work.

Author's Note: For those of you who read my notes, here's a little info about how this story came to pass. I keep thinking to myself. Rei is always in love with Usa-chan, but where does that leave Minako, who is often paired up with Rei? I've re-written the lyrics to this song a little bit so that it fits the story and the history of the senshi and their princess, Sailor Moon in this story. If you would like to hear the version of the song I'm thinking of, it's the acoustic version. You can find it on Breaking Benjamin's myspace page. It's really well done and the piano and violin add a lot of feeling to it. Anyway, hope you enjoy this fic.

Summary: Minako is in love with Rei but knows she'll never replace Usagi in the miko's heart. So to help her vent, she pours her heart out in a song one evening in a strange night-club.

The night was cold, or at least it felt cold. A cold so cold that it sinks, deathly silent, into your very bones, turning you numb from the inside out. A cold so cold that no matter how much cocoa you drink, no matter how many blankets you wrap yourself in, you're still cold. Not freezing, but just cold enough that the numbing pain slowly starts to affect your mind, starts to affect your heart. Calmly, steadily, it slides through your blood like a thick, oily poison, creeping ever so quietly towards your heart. And what scares you the most, what terrifies even the bravest of souls, is that the only cure for the poison, the only means of driving the coldness out, is in love with someone that is destined to love someone else and blind to all others.

And so you go on, surviving life as best you can, not really living it, but feeling the lethal cold move ever closer to your heart; a frigid poison that can only be purged with the fire of a lover's caress…

A lonely young blond, her hair tied up with a red bow, slowly walked the streets of Tokyo that warm summer night. Dressed in an orange hooded sweatshirt, blue jeans, and white tennis shoes, she headed for her club. She had stumbled upon the warehouse a few months ago, but long after the coldness had come to her. Despite the temperature, she was cold. The Locket was her only solace. It never fully stopped the advance of the numbing pain but it had slowed it considerably. However, every time she saw her unrequited love, she could feel it seeping closer to her heart. How long had she, the goddess of love, been stricken with this? Stricken with this cold feeling that would not leave? Five years had passed since she felt it enter her. Only four years, though, since she had noticed it beginning to grow.

She had found her journal then, and couldn't help but read it. Once she started reading it, however, she knew that the miko would never love anyone like she did their princess. Being the good friend she was, she put the journal away where she found it, and never spoke of it again. It had been so long ago, and over this time, her greatest strength had become her mortal wound as she felt the coldness within her chest, almost to her heart. She had recently composed a song, with the help of the staff at the Locket, with whom she had become good friends, even the cross-dimensional Setsuna, who was engaged to the owner of the Locket, Arisugawa Juri. She had called ahead that afternoon, talking with Arisugawa-san, who agreed to let her perform her song that night. The staff had announced it to the patrons that night as they filled the nightclub, streaming in from numerous realms.

"Heya Minako, you ready for tonight?" Bones called out as she approached the bouncer.

"I'm just ready for it all to be over with, Bones." the once-cheerful blond sighed.

Bones had never seen her young friend look as old and worn down as she did now. She didn't comment on her friend's attire but merely opened the door for the young woman. "Good luck, Aino-chan." she whispered, watching the girl walk slowly down the dark hallway. After she disappeared around the corner, Bones turned back around to resume her guard of the door only to see the last person she would expect to see.

"What are you doing here?"

Arisugawa's Locket was packed that night with women dancing, laughing, and talking. People were crammed onto the dance floor, filling the tables and booths, and crowding around the bar where the twin sisters, Minagi and Ryoko were serving drinks with blazing speed. The book nook was almost full as well. Add to the fact that the karaoke stage had to be extended outward eight feet to temporarily accommodate Haruka's baby grand piano didn't help the situation much either.

"Good evening Arisugawa-san, Setsuna-san. Are Haruka and Michiru here yet?" Minako asked the couple, whom she had found over by the bar.

"Good evening Aino-san." Juri greeted her, "Haruka and Michiru are over near the stage getting ready."

"Arigato." the melancholic blonde replied as she excused herself. The two women watched their friend disappear through the crowd towards where their other friends were prepping. Juri moved behind Setsuna and wrapped her arms around the senshi's waist, resting her head on the woman's shoulder.

"She's been so sad and withdrawn lately." Juri said worriedly.

"Yes. Even though she's not from my dimension, I am still worried about her. There have been quite a few times she's run into Rei here. Even though she knows the Reis' she meets are from different time streams, it still hurts her, especially when Rei is with another woman. More often than not, Rei is with Usagi-chan. And on those times, I've seen Minako so depressed, so tired and worn out, it's as though her inner light has gone out." Setsuna replied, covering her lover's arms with her own. "I am very concerned about her time-stream."

"Do you think she may do something to throw it off track?" Juri asked the green-haired guardian.

"I don't know…perhaps I should check up on it with the Setsuna from her stream. Even though it's against rules, if it affects any time stream, I have to know about it."

Just then, Juri turned her head towards the entrance to check up on the flow of people into the Locket.

"Perhaps you won't need to." She stated as she pointed out the person who had just walked in. "I get the feeling she's from Mina's time stream."

"She is." Setsuna replied, as she felt more than saw that the newcomer's temporal particles were in a different alignment than her own, but the same as Minako's.

"Are you two ready?" the young blonde asked the two older lovers as she approached, peeling her hooded sweatshirt off and over her head, revealing a black long-sleeve shirt with an image of a heart broke in two on the front and the single word "Heartbreaker" in old English calligraphy.

"Ready when you are, Minako." Haruka gave a nod. The racer was clad in a pair of black khakis, a white button up blouse, and a black sport coat, with an amber circle pendant on a silver chain around her neck.

"I'm ready too." Michiru replied, lifting her violin out of its case. The aqua-haired sea goddess was looking beautiful in her light marine one-piece dress, held up by two spaghetti straps and falling down to mid thigh. "Are you okay, Minako? You don't look so well."

"I'm fine Michi." The blonde lied. "Let's just get up there and do the song, I'm tired and I just want to go home."

"Are you beginning to regret scheduling your performance for tonight, Mina-chan?" Haruka asked, ever acting like the concerned father.

"Part of me, yes. The other part is hoping that doing this will help to ease my pain. But I doubt it will." The blonde said so quietly that the other two women had a hard time hearing her over the noise of the Locket.

"Pain? Minako what is going on?" Michiru asked as she laid a hand down on the volleyball player's shoulder. She was surprised at how cool the blonde felt, despite the warmth of the club, and the fact that it was the middle of summer. Minako shrugged her hand off before she could say anything about it, however.

"Nothing. It's nothing. Just forget it. Can we just go do this please?" Mina sighed heavily, and without another word she grabbed the microphone and headed up the stairs and onto the stage.

Michiru and Haruka exchanged worried looks before the taller woman shrugged and headed up the stairs to the stage, her aqua-haired lover close behind. The crowd quieted down as the trio took their places. Excel turned on the colored stage lights that she and Ryoko had set up for that night as May happily operated the single spotlight the staff of Arisugawa's Locket had borrowed from the local theater and trained it on the blonde singer. The women in the club cheered and applauded as the group of women bowed. Minako lifted the microphone to her mouth and spoke.

"Good evening everyone. First off I would like to thank Arisugawa-san for allowing me to perform tonight in her nightclub. My name is Aino Minako and I, with the help of the staff here at Arisugawa's Locket have composed a song I will be singing tonight. It goes out to the one and only woman I have ever loved or ever will love; in this lifetime, and in all my lifetimes, past and future." Minako paused, the coldness within her spiking painfully as she winced, "I know you love another and not me, but I must do this before it is over."

The crowd in attendance murmured at the comments the blonde had made, some curious as to who it was, others wondering what that last statement meant. The overhead lights dimmed as the stage lamps grew brighter. The crowd quieted down and Haruka opened up on her baby grand, her strong fingers bringing the piano to life with their precise and measured movements.

"Oooooohhh." The three women hummed together, perfectly in sync, as Michiru slowly joined in on her violin, her small delicate hands manipulating the bow and strings perfectly.

"If I had to, I would put myself right beside you, so let me ask would you like that? Would you like that? " Minako slowly sang as the sorrowful melody from Haruka's piano washed over herself and the crowd, urged on by the soft harmony of Michiru's violin. Many of the women began dancing slowly with their lovers, swaying softly to the music that flowed throughout Arisugawa's Locket that night. They held each other close, praying to whichever deities they worshipped that they would never lose each other. Even Ryoko and Minagi stopped what they were doing to listen to the Senshi of Love sing. "And I don't mind, if you say this love is the last time, so now I'll ask do you like that? Do you like that? "

Haruka played harder as Minako came to the chorus of the song, "Something's getting in the way, something's just about to break, I will try to find my place, in the diary of Rei so tell me, how it should be. " And at the mention of her name, the girl in question began moving forward, trying to move through the tightly woven crowd, toward the stage so she could be seen, clutching an old book in her hands. Minako didn't notice the movement as she continued on. "Try to find out, what makes you tick as I lie down, sore and sick do you like that? Do you like that? " "There's a fine line, between love and hate and I don't mind, just let me say that I like that, I like that. " the beautiful blonde singer could feel the coldness within her creeping ever so closer to her heart as her chest began to ache from the labor of singing and dealing with the poison inside her. It was beginning to take its toll on the young woman, but she continued on, unfazed.

"Something's getting in the way, something's just about to break, I will try to find my place, in the diary of Rei. " Minako closed her eyes, trying to calm the fear that was building inside her as she felt the cold closing in around her heart as the ache steadily began to grow. A tear slipped down her cheek but she continued on. The girl in the crowd saw this and moved faster, forcing her way through the swaying couples on the dance floor. "As I cure another phage, as I wake another day, I still try to find my place, in the diary of Rei so tell me, how it should be. " Haruka and Michiru put as much feeling into the short duet they had here, between the end of the second chorus and Minako's bridge. The blonde slowly swayed on her feet, back and forth, as she listened to the piano and violin, perfectly in sync, not a note missed.

"Desperate I will crawl, waiting for so long, no love, there is no love." Mina continued on as her bridge started, and that's when she noticed the woman in the crowd, right at the front of the stage, clutching that blasted book that had started this cold poison inside her. Unfazed she closed her eyes again and continued on. "Die for anyone, what have I become? " Maybe now she'd see just what she meant to the blonde. Not that it'd do any good.

Mina continued on, as the song came to it's close, singing the last repeat of the chorus. "Something's getting in the way, something's just about to break, I will try to find my place, in the diary of Rei. " She knew the miko was still in love with their princess. She had to be after what she had read in the journal. "As I cure another phage, as I wake another day, I still try to find my place, in the diary of Rei. "

"Oooooohhh." The three women hummed together again, as the chords from the Senshis of Air and Ocean faded away. The singer felt a sharp stab of stinging cold within her chest, stunning her as her heart beat wildly and her eyes grew wide with fear. She clutched her fist over her chest as she dropped to her knees, reaching out to Rei as she fell forward, whispering a single phrase, "Rei, help me…please!" she was unconscious before she even hit the floor as Ami, Makoto, Rei, Haruka, and Michiru rushed to her aid.

The poison had reached Mina's heart.

"MINAKO!!!" Rei screamed.

Minako woke up on a couch, trying to sit up she felt someone hold her down. Her head hurt, but not as much as her chest. She was having a hard time breathing. Opening her eyes, she squinted from the lamp light being shed from the end table near her head. "Easy, easy. You passed out on the stage, Mina-chan. Just rest." Michiru said, holding her gently down on the couch. She pulled the blanket back up over her shoulders. Minako licked her dry and cracked lips, trying in vain to moisten them. She tried to speak but her voice came out in a gravely whisper.

"Water. Please. I need…water."

"Hang on hon, Haruka is coming back with some. You need to rest, and warm up. My kami, you're freezing cold!" Michiru fussed over her young friend. Just then, Haruka showed up with a glass of water and some aspirin. She handed them to Michi who helped Minako sit up a little. "Here, take these." She put the ibuprofen in the blonde's mouth and helped her take a drink. "Easy, drink it slowly." Mina turned her head away and lie back down.

"Where…where am I?" Minako managed to whisper.

"You're in Juri-san's office inside Arisugawa's Locket." Makoto replied. "Try to get some rest, you passed out onstage and we couldn't get you to wake up."

A small groan of pain escaped the blonde woman's lips before she slipped back into unconsciousness.

"Is she okay, Ami?" Setsuna asked the blunette.

"Physically, I can find nothing wrong with her. Her blood pressure is a little high and for some reason her body temperature has dropped below 62 degrees. I don't know what's keeping her alive though, aside from her senshi powers. Humans go into hypothermia once their body temperature reaches 85 degrees. Mina-chan is 36.9 degrees below the average. I'd recommend taking her to a hospital, but…" The young woman's head dropped.

"But what?" Juri asked, worried for her friend.

"If I can't explain why her temperature is currently at 61.7 degrees Fahrenheit, then I sure as hell don't want her going to a hospital, because they start asking questions that I know we all want to avoid. Medically, she should have been gone long ago. My scans indicate she's lived like this for months, maybe years. However it's taken its toll on her body." Ami stated. "Once she's feeling a little better, get her to drink some hot cocoa or tea; something warm to get her temperature back up. Right now, her powers are keeping her heart beating, but if her body temperature doesn't come back up soon…"

Rei had remained silent throughout this entire time but upon hearing this, she was shocked into action, "Mina will die?"

The words hung heavily in the air between the six senshi and Juri. Makoto pulled Ami into a tight hug as Juri did the same to Setsuna. Michiru sat wordlessly back down in the chair next to the couch upon which the blonde singer was currently asleep. Haruka came and stood beside her. Rei looked forlornly down at her journal. She finally realized about a year or so ago just what Mina meant to her, after she had finally gotten over her love for Usagi. She knew that if Minako didn't get better, she may lose her chance to tell the blonde just how much she loved her.

"You guys go back out and try to have a good time. I'll keep watch over Mina-chan. If there's any change I'll come find you at once." Rei said, looking tenderly down at the sleeping blonde.

"Are you sure, Rei-san? Maybe Ami should keep an eye on her since she is a doctor." Juri asked.

"I trust Rei-chan to keep an eye on her, Arisugawa-san. Minako-chan will be fine. We should go back out and assure the patrons she's okay however, that she just fainted from the heat of the stage lights. Just tell them something to ease their minds." Ami stated.

Mako nodded her approval, "Alright, let's give her some time to rest then. Rei-san, come get us should anything happen."

"I will." The miko promised.

The five other senshi and the duelist left the room, Setsuna closing the door quietly behind her. Rei knelt next to the couch, running her hand lovingly through the golden tresses of the sleeping woman, brushing her bangs out of her eyes. A cold sweat was rolling off her forehead but Rei didn't care. She was still beautiful.

"Please Mina-chan. You can't die on me, Minako. You just can't leave me alone…I need you." Rei quietly whispered as a tear slipped down her cheeks, "I love you, Minako, I love you so much. You have to pull through this."

"R-rei-chan?" Minako roused from her restless slumber, "Yo-you don't mean that, Rei. You l-love Usagi-chan. I read it i-in your journal, all these years ago. I k-knew from reading it th-that yo-you'd never love anyone like you d-do our pri-princess." Pain wrenched its way across her face as she struggled to sit upright, weakly pushing Rei's hands off her shoulders when she tried to hold her down.

"That's not true! Yes I loved her, but as time went on, it did start to wear off. And that's when I noticed you. Your smile, and eyes weren't Usagi-chan's, but they were lovelier than hers. And your hair, a shade darker and richer than odango-chan's. Your energy and zest for life and your ability to love unconditionally is what drew me to you." Rei said, as she handed the diary to Mina, it was already open to a page. "Read this entry, please."

Mina's breathing was heavily labored but she responded all the same, "The last time I read your diary, Hino-baka, your love for Tsukino-san poisoned me. You've poisoned me, Rei Hino, poisoned me with this cold loneliness that plagues me. For four years! Four years it's crept closer to my heart, and now it's finally reached it and has almost consumed it! And now you want to inject me with the final drops of despair and kill me with your rantings of your undying passion for our princess?! Leave me be, Rei. You've done enough damage. Let me die in peace."

And with that Minako laid back down and rolled over, wincing at the stinging pain that crackled through her body as she turned her back on the stunned miko. Rei pulled the diary back to her, staring down at the words upon the page. Anger flared up within her then. She rose to her feet and held up the diary so she could read it. Minako could block her out visually, but not vocally.

"Dear Diary," She began, "I saw Minako again today. She's been appearing so sad lately and even though she puts up a good front, I know in my heart that something is wrong. Something is eating away at her inside and she's faking it so as not to make the rest of us worry. But I'm still worried about her. I can't help but worry about her. She's the one thing in this world that makes me genuinely happy. Seeing her every day is enough to wash away anything that has gone wrong. Her ocean blue eyes, how I lose myself in their depths when she doesn't notice all the times I stare at her. And when she does look at me, I feel my heart beat faster and I go weak in the knees. Her perfect lips, lush and full, I wonder if they are as soft as they look. Some days the urge to just take her in my arms and kiss away her sadness I know is under the surface is so great, I have to leave her presence to regain control over myself. Today was one of those days. But for some reason, her eyes didn't sparkle like they used to, her golden hair, how it used to shine like silk, seemed dull and lifeless. Her smile, normally happy and cheerful and genuine, I could tell was nothing more than a façade. I wish I could tell her just how much she means to me, and how seeing her like this makes me ache as well. One so happy and full of energy shouldn't have to look so sad and worn-out. I wish I could tell her just how much I love her and how much I want to be with her. But I know I can't. I don't want to risk our friendship for this, this feeling I get inside me when I see her. I love her too much and I know if she were to reject my feelings, even though she would still want to be friends, I could not live with that pain. My only hope is that somehow, someday, these words come to light, that she may hear them and believe. Believe me when I say…" Rei paused, as more tears fell from her face, she sniffled and composed herself before finishing the entry.

"Believe me when I say I love you." Rei slowly closed the book as she knelt down to the prone woman on the couch whose back was still turned. She placed a lingering kiss upon her head as she stroked her hair once. "If you want to die in peace, know that once you do, I'll follow you there. I can't live without you Mina. So if what you say is true. If I have killed you, then I have killed myself as well."

Rei slowly stood up and made to leave the room. A tear slipped, unseen, down Mina's cheek as she felt warmth, warmth for the first time in 5 years, slowly radiate from where the raven-haired priestess had pressed her lips to her head. "Rei, wait…" the miko stopped but did not move. She heard the blonde throw off the blanket and struggle to her feet, but still she did not move. "I'm sorry Rei. I'm sorry I said those things to you. I was angry and I hated myself for knowing there was nothing I could do to change your mind about Usagi-chan. I love you too, Rei. I always have." She reached out a cold hand and rested it upon the miko's shoulder. With as much strength as she had, she turned the priestess around. They looked at each other for a few moments, looking into each others eyes, searching for something.

"I'm cold, Rei." Minako finally whispered as another tear fell from her face. And at that, Rei instantly moved forward, enveloping the blonde in a fierce embrace, the power of Mars burning forth around her, enveloping them both within its warmth. And the cold began to lose its hold upon the stricken goddess as heat finally pushed its way into her veins, flowing in from her hands and feet and moving up her limbs. Rei pulled her head back just enough to see the tear-stained face of her love.

"I love you, Minako." She said with absolute conviction.

"I believe you, Rei. I love you too." Mina whispered back.

Rei's face moved closer as both senshi's eyes closed. The sheer softness of the intimate contact was almost enough to make Rei cry. Minako's lips were beyond what they looked and Rei was sure she had found heaven within Aphrodite's exchange. Minako could feel the warmth of the sensual flesh rage violently through her body, incinerating the poison that had gripped her for so long. Her heart beat sped up and a flush came to her once pale cheeks as she melted into the kiss. Five years of pent-up love and lust shot through her as she returned the kiss eagerly, needing it more than the air around her. She opened her mouth and licked Rei's warm lips, pushing against them gently but firmly. The miko didn't hesitate as she opened her mouth, welcoming the goddess' tongue, letting her explore her mouth as she suckled on the muscle. Rei returned the favor, requesting entrance to the blonde's mouth to which she was granted immediately. She raked her tongue across the rows of perfect white teeth, feeling their edges as Mina's tongue danced with hers. Rei's arms wrapped themselves around Minako's waist, drawing her close as Mina put hers around Rei's neck, holding her gently in place. Their bodies pressed together, Rei's soft and generous curves molding against Minako's own softness perfectly, two pieces of a puzzle coming together. They pulled away only for a moment for air as Minako leaned her head back. Rei trailed slow, lingering kisses along the singer's jaw line up to her ear and gently nibbled on it, making the blonde let out a long, slow moan of pleasure. She dug her fingers into the raven locks and held the priestess' head to her. Rei kissed the nape of Mina's neck, leaving another trail of kisses down the side of her neck, nudging the neckline of her black shirt out of the way, exposing more of the now warm skin of her love to explore. Mina gently pulled Rei away from her collarbone and captured her lips again in a searing kiss that obliterated all thoughts in both their minds. It was some time before they finally broke apart and just stood there, Rei holding the slightly shorter Minako in her arms tightly, afraid that if she let go, she would lose the goddess to the coldness again.

"I don't ever want to lose you, Minako."

"I'm not going anywhere, Rei. I'm not going anywhere any time soon." The blond whispered back, "I feel so warm and safe in your arms I don't ever want to leave. This is the first time I've felt this good in almost five years."

Pulling back just enough so she could see the singer's face, she saw a genuinely happy smile beaming upon her features. Rei smiled back. "I haven't seen you smile like this in almost as long. I'm sorry for all you've had to go through."

"We can't help who we love, Rei-chan." Mina replied.

"No we can't. But I'm glad I'm stuck with you, I wouldn't want to be with anyone else." Rei replied, bringing tears to both their eyes.

They kissed again, not as desperate or needy as the first time, but a slow, soft caress. Rei pulled back and out of Minako's arms, running her hands down them and grasping her hands as she pulled her along toward the door, an impish grin on her exotic features. "C'mon, Aino-chan. The night's still young."

Minako smiled at the play on words with her last name: ainochan stood for sweetheart. She let herself be pulled toward the door and back out into the club knowing that Rei would always be with her. The others were ecstatic to see that Minako was feeling better. After a short conversation with them all, explaining what caused the coldness inside her, everyone was happy for the two. Minako kindly excused the two of them and pulled her priestess out onto the floor. For the first time in years, she was sweating in the heat of the club despite the air-conditioning. And she didn't really care at all, losing herself in the music and the feel of Rei's body rubbing sensually against her own and Rei's arms wrapped possessively around her as they ground together amidst the other couples out on the dance floor.

The End

Author's Note: Well? How'd you like it? I feel sorry for poor Minako, always getting left in the dirt when Rei runs off with Usagi. To me, even though I love the Minako/Setsuna or Minako/Hotaru (often referred to as Minaru), Rei and Minako always seemed like the best fit. The Passion of Fire and the Strength of Love. Updated to help close the ending a little better.