a/n: Ok, so this is something I came up with when I was having major writers block on my other fanfic. It's set after Bella is changed, married to Edward, and she is living in the Cullen house. As of now it is going to be a short novel. Hope you enjoy it and review, review, review!!!

Locked out and Desperate

(EPOV)

"Come on Bella! Just let me back inside!" I yelled up to the second story window as I stood outside in the pouring rain, the mud from the ground seeping into my shoes.

"No!" came Bella's insistent cry from the open window.

I growled as I heard footsteps from our room and saw a brief glance of Bella as she swung the vast window shut with bang.

Great. It was 8:30 at night and I've been locked outside in the pouring rain by my own wife. I grumbled and whined as I circled the house searching for the right window. Once I found it I picked up some small rocks from the ground and threw them at the glass, so that they made a soft tapping noise.

"Alice," I shouted softly. "Alice! Open Up!"

I waited a moment before I heard soft footsteps as Alice gracefully glided towards the window. Upon seeing my sodden form she opened the window and called down to me.

"Edward? What the hell are you doing out there!"

I scoffed and raised my arms in a disbelieving gesture. "Do you honestly think I choose to be out here!"

Alice grimaced and shook her finger at me. "If you want me to help you then you'd better be nice to me."

I sighed and shoved my hands into my pocket. "Bella locked me out and I need help getting back in."

Alice fought back her giggles and thoughtfully stroked her chin. "Well that depends. What exactly did you do?"

"Well…" I was about to answer when Alice was suddenly jerked from the window and back into the room, out of sight.

I stained my ears to hear what was going on but all I could hear was muddled whispering. I was too far down to hear them clearly and Alice was blocking her mind by thinking about Jasper again. I couldn't reach the mind of her company so I assumed it was Bella who had pulled Alice back into the room.

"He did what!" Alice's sudden outburst caught me by surprise. I strained my ears once again, but they had returned to their incoherent whispering.

After a moment or so, Alice's head popped back out the window. A huge scowl adorned her face and her eyebrows were tightly knit as she glared down at me.

"Sorry Edward, but your going to just have to find some way to get yourself out of this mess alone" She growled. And with that Alice slammed the window shut and I listened as her footsteps stomped off in the other direction.

"Well that went well" I griped.

Once again I circled the house in the other direction when it hit me. I'm a vampire, damnit! I could just break my way in if I wanted to!

After a moment, I realized that I really liked this idea and was about to charge my way through the wall when a voice caught me off guard.

"Edward, if you so much as scratch, dent, break, crash, or crack any part of this house then so help me god I will enroll you in junior high the next time we move."

I stood, shocked and slightly annoyed, as I looked up and saw Carlisle sitting in his office by the window on the second floor. He had not so much as paused in his work while he had given his little speech and continued to work as a I stood frozen, my hand still raised above my head in a fist.

(BPOV)

I laughed to myself as I heard Carlisle chastise Edward from his study. I usually didn't take pleasure in the discomfort of others, but at this point I was still mad at Edward and was not about to let common sense interfere with my judgment.

I sat down on the couch in the living room between Alice and Rosalie.

"So Edward actually said that?" Rosalie asked.

"Yep" I replied.

"Wow" Alice exclaimed. "If Jasper had said that I would have thrown him out in the rain as well." Rosalie nodded in agreement as all three girls simultaneously crossed their arms and legs and shook their heads.

"You know," Alice ventured, "we could really have some fun with this."

"I don't know" Bella replied. "I mean, I'm not going to stay mad at him for long –"

"—which is exactly why you should take advantage of this while it lasts." Rosalie interjected.

"Trust me Bella. Rosalie and I have been doing this for a long time."

Bella glanced nervously at both girls and then broke out in an evil grin.

"So, what did you have in mind?"

(EPOV)

"Emmet!"

I threw another rock at the window, this time with more force.

I continued to throw rocks until I finally saw Emmet's face at the window. He looked down at me and immediately burst into chuckles. After opening the window, Emmet leaned out with his arms crossed and a smug look on his face.

"Well, well, well. It looks like Edward is finally experiencing his first lock out!"

"Lock out?"

Emmet shook his head. "Welcome to marriage my brother. Now, what can I do for you?"

I raised one eyebrow and stared at my brother. "I think that should be obvious!"

"Let me tell you something Edward. According to my calculations, since it has been roughly 20 minutes since Bella kicked you out, it is inevidable that she has most likely joined forces with Alice and Rosalie by now. Assuming that I agree to help you, we would need to not only sneak you in without the knowledge of Bella, but we would also have to bypass the compined force of Alice and Rosalie."

I stared at Emmet in awe. "Just how many times have you been kicked out?"

Emmet smugly raised his chin and examined his finger nails. "Edward, Edward, Edward. I've been married to Rosalie for about 100 years. You're dealing with a pro here."

I raised an eyebrow and scoffed. God knows how many times Emmet has pissed off Rosalie and barely lived to tell the tale. He keeps a freaking score sheet in the basement for crying out loud!

"Just let me back in Emmet!"

Emmet looked down at me as though I was mental. "Are you kidding me!" he cried. "You can't just walk in the front door! No, you have to have a game plan. For instance, what will you do once you get inside? It's not like Bella's going to welcome you with open arms. Most likely she'll slap you, or worse…."

Emmet paused for a moment and winced, as though remembering a truly horrifying memory.

Emmet quickly recovered and returned to his speech. "Once we get you inside, we need to hide you until we can be sure that Rosalie, Bella, and Alice are out of the house. And we can't use your piano as a hiding spot anymore. Rosalie found out and locked me inside it for 4 days."

"So that's how all those scratches got in my piano. Emmet, you arse, why did get in my piano in the first place!"

Emmet grinned sheepishly. "It was so warm and inviting."

I swear, sometimes I wonder if Emmet was ever human. I quickly looked into his mind for a moment out of pure curiosity and found him thinking about my piano.

"Well then Emmet, what do you suppose we do?"

Emmet grinned and rubbed his hands together in a wicked manor.

"I know just what to do."