Dear…. Whoever you are:

I get my ideas from the strangest places. Like in PE for example. Before I start, I just want to thank my friends Angel and Hillary for putting my mind in the gutter so spectacularly. Truly, truly, I thank you for giving me such disturbing thoughts.

Racquet

(A Simple Misunderstanding Story)

Jet was exhausted. His three "Partners" had kept him up all night with their stupid antics, and now they were in this stupid hotel for "Surveillance". Okay, so the hotel was actually pretty nice, for the price they had paid. It had a rather big pool, and a nice indoor gym type thing. But Jet was exhausted, and Faye and Spike had disappeared. And since Ed was too busy watching there next hit and they had to move in pretty soon, Jet had to look for them by himself. He stopped in front of a door and rested his head against it. He heard voices…. Spike and Faye's voices. He was about to open the door and begin screaming at them when he heard Faye say something a little disturbing.

"Well, are you gonna take it out or what?"

"Well, if I had known you wanted to do this that bad, I would have asked you sooner."

"Holy fuck, Spike! It's huge!"

"What can I say? I got it from my father."

"Oh I bet your mother just loved that!"

"She sure as hell did!"

"I didn't even know it was possible for them to be that big….."

"You'll never find one as big as mine."

"Geez, you are egocentric…. thwack Negh!"

"And you seem to like it a little too rough! thwack Gah!"

"Yeah, I like I hard too! thwack Ah!"

"You want it hard, here's hard! thwack Nerg!"

"Ow! Goddamit Spike keep your cock out of my face!"

"Oh come on, you were asking for it!"

"Oh really?"

"Jesus Christ Faye! You broke my god damn cock!"

That was when Jet lost his balance and fell into the door, which came open immediately. There stood Spike and Faye, on either side of a net. Each had a badminton racquet. Spike's was rather large. A shuttle cock was lying between them, shredded. "Hey Jet," Spike said. "You wouldn't happen to have a cock would ya?"