State of Denial

Chapter Eight: Entwined (Songfic; Entwined by Jason Reeves)

Disc: Do I really need to do this again? You all know that the main characters are not mine.

He should move.

Natsume blinked his crimson eyes at the white ceiling, searching for nonexistent cracks. Rain tapped softly on the widow panes, the fresh smell of water fluttered through the half opened widow as rain drops shimmered in the dwindling sunlight that seeped through the windows, washing the floor with a warm glow.

His room was warm and peaceful.

He stifled a yawn and admired the rainbow flashes of light that chased each other along the walls, deflected by the big crystals that hung from the window frames.

Natsume sighed softly in obvious contentment then took a deep breath, filling his lungs with a sweet, delicate aroma that could only belong to one person.

Her.

Her as in Sakura Mikan.

Her as in the terrifyingly obnoxious girl that was the bane of his existence since he was ten.

Her as in the only girl he can't seem to say no to.

Her as in the girl that was lying so peacefully beside him.

(Entwined)

He sighed again and wrinkled his nose when strands of her hair flirted across his face, he shifted his head and stared at the reason of his sudden immobility; the thirteen year old girl who'd managed to wrap herself around him, looking so disgustingly sweet on doing it, too.

He really should move—the arm that served as her pillow tightened, sliding her closer—there were a lot of other things that he should do.

(All that we are is defined by each others shipwrecked hearts)

He didn't need to spread his gaze to know that the pack had left, or that the movie marathon they plan on had ended.

Probably when they noticed that he had somehow—he was still amaze at the fact—fallen asleep. He didn't remember—if ever—he'd fallen asleep with so much people around.

He was usually much more vigilant. He couldn't afford not to.

He'd grown way too comfortable around his friends.

The painkillers probably didn't help.

Still recovering from a wayward mission, Natsume was under strict orders to bed rest, which is why the pack decided upon a movie marathon to keep him entertained—although Natsume suspected that they only wanted to utilize his huge flat screen.

He didn't even remember what it was they were watching.

Natsume shifted his shoulder and held his breath when his shoulder jostled Mikan's head, but she didn't seem to register the movement.

Huh.

Slowly, so slowly, he carefully turned to his side to faced her—his eyes reveling over her sleeping face—and listened to her deep, even breathing

Her honey blond hair splayed across his white sheets, wrapped around her like a blanket.

Her tinted eyelashes curved where it touched her cheeks, the same shade of blond as her brows that were lighter than her hair. Sleep pinked her soft, round cheeks, and a soft sound of a sigh flew from her slightly opened mouth.

Just two nights ago, he was up to his knees in fear, blood and pain, but now he was lying on a soft bed with the sound of soft rain, lulling him to sleep with her beside him.

Three years ago, he would have never believed he could ever feel so comfortable, so content, so safe as he did now, hell, after all they've been through, he wouldn't have believed it a week ago.

Her presence in his life was still as much as a miraculous bafflement as it was the day she walked into his life.

(And I shiver to think what would have been if I wouldn't have seen you in time)

And what a day that was.

(Would we pass by?)

Although he was sure of his feelings for her, in fact, it was one of the few things in his life that he was sure of, he hadn't quite made peace with it.

It was probably a passing thing, something that would disappear before it even started.

(Like parachutes and air balloons)

(Or satellites and lonely moons)

His heart—his very foolish, very temperamental heart—beg to differ as it stuttered and flailed along mercilessly when he saw her eyelids flutter. Natsume was caught between wanting her to wake up so he can see his reflection in her eyes and wanting her to stay asleep so he can watch her a moment longer.

He was both disappointed and glad when she stayed asleep.

(We'd still be drifting far apart)

(But thank the stars we are…entwined)

Natsume shifted closer, close enough to feel her breath and feel her warmth on his skin, to marvel at the softness of her sleeping expression.

Mikan was no beauty, even the most biased of her adoring friends could ever say that she was beautiful; her eyes were too big for her face, her nose too short, her mouth too pouty, but when looked at with an overall perspective, it worked of her.

Besides, there was no beating the wide, bright smile, the warm colored eyes and that undeniably caring nature.

(All that you are is mine, your divine imperfections color the dark)

He'd like to think his feeling weren't too obvious, that he hid his feelings well, but his smart ass brain mocked him for a fool.

The fact that the pack left them alone also showed he was more than obvious of his feelings for her.

Not that she noticed.

They were closer than ever. They still fought and bickered but that was just how they communicate. The hours where they trained also nurtured their trust and bonded them on deeper levels, but although he knew without a doubt that she cared for him, he didn't knew anything else of her feelings for him.

It bothered him, the way she was just so nice to everybody, how can one distinguish who was who if she kept treating everybody in the same way? Okay, maybe not the same way, it was obvious that Hotaru is her one true love, but whatever. And yeah, she does fusses about him, worries over him and is affectionate towards him but she's like that to everybody, at least, to all their close friends, so how can he ever guess how she feels about him?

But it wasn't just that, she was just too damn nice. She was a total mark for con artists and the numerous bad people he knew were out there.

(And I shiver to see how fragile you are when the world's such a cruel place to be)

It was damn frustrating.

Natsume's beautiful face twisted in a scowl before he even knew it, his eyes focused on Mikan's face. As if she knew he was angry with her, she let out a small, harmless sound before nestling closer to the angry boy in an unconsciously coy but nevertheless sweet way.

Natsume's scowl melted away in a flurry of heartbeats.

(Then you cut me free...)

The sigh that reverberated in Natsume's chest was as helpless as it was frustrated, he started to come to the conclusion that when it comes to Mikan, nothing would happen the way he wanted it too.

And he should just accept it before he drove himself nuts.

His crimson eyes were sullen but when it landed on Mikan's soft, soft face, it warmed with the strength of his feelings.

He sighed again—just for the hell of it—then with the spirit of absolute pragmatism, he agilely use his toes to pull the duvet up until he could reach it with his hands without moving his upper body and slid it over them, encasing them in a soft warm cocoon.

He rolled his eyes when Mikan arm wrapped across his chest and squeezed him like she would a teddy bear before mumbling something about hawalons.

"If you take a bite at me, I'll bite you back." He half-heartedly threatened, his eyes already drifting close.

He really should move…

(Let's walk the tightrope together without a safety net)

(And when we fall and we will fall)

(Let's fall forever...entwined)

….but another minute won't hurt.