She was debating doing something crazy like asking him to dance when Roy approached the table. The scowl on Jim's face was only there for a briefest of moments, but Pam saw it. She didn't see how she could refuse her ex-fiance a single dance, so she stood up and took his hand. However seeing Jim's reaction made her feel slightly giddy, and as she stood up she made a point of accidentally pressing her hip ever so briefly against his upper arm. Jim's eyes snapped up to hers, and she gave him a private little smile. His reaction was to quickly look away from her, leaving her wondering what in the world his problem was. Maybe she would ask him to dance just as soon as she lived through this one with Roy.
As the stepped onto the dance floor, the first thing Roy did was compliment her. She smiled and made some return remark about his attire. Truth was, he did look good, but Pam couldn't bring herself to care. He could have been the most handsome man in the room and it wouldn't have mattered. She was too busy trying to covertly keep her eyes on Jim's reactions as she danced. She kept up her end of the small talk, and took efforts to keep some distance from Roy, despite his attempts to pull her closer. She noticed that Jim would alternate between glaring at her and staring down into his mixed drink. He didn't talk to anyone at the table, and he never cracked a smile once. A little over halfway into the dance she saw him get up from the table. Her first thought was that he was going to the bar, but it soon became evident he was walking out of the reception.
Pam panicked. She mumbled some apology to Roy and practically ran off the dance floor. She headed straight for the exit, aware that a few people had noticed her break off the dance. She didn't care. She needed to be sure he wasn't leaving. She couldn't bear it if Jim had left before she had a chance to dance with him. She didn't realize how much it mattered to her until that point.
She walked out into the parking lot and looked down the aisle where she knew he had parked. She could see him sitting in his car so she rushed toward his car. His car's reverse lights came on and he was backed halfway out of the parking space when she knocked on his driver's side window. He stepped on the brakes, then rolled the window down.
"What are you doing?" Pam asked, a slight note of frustration evident in her voice.
"I'm going home," he replied, his eyes refusing to met hers.
"Why?"
"I'm not feeling very well." He still focused his eyes on the dashboard.
"Jim, get out of the car."
He finally looked up at her. "What?"
"You heard me. Pull the car back into the space and get out of the car."
"Pam, I really just want to go home."
"No." she insisted. "You aren't getting out of this."
His brow furrowed. "Getting out of what?"
"Just get out of the car, Jim," she said. "Please?"
He put the car into drive and pulled back in. He rolled up his window, shut off the car, and got out. "Now what are you talking about?" he asked, leaning against the car, his keys still in his hand.
"You haven't asked me to dance yet," she said softly.
"You didn't look like you were lacking willing partners," Jim replied.
"But I wanted to dance with you," she said, feeling a little embarrassed at how close she was coming to begging him.
He shrugged. "You should have asked me then."
"I was thinking about it, before Roy came over."
"Yeah," he laughed harshly. "Roy always seems to get in the way, doesn't he?"
Pam looked concerned. "Are you drunk?"
"I wish that I were," he admitted.
"Come back inside and dance with me," she asked again.
"Why?"
"What do you mean why?"
"Why should I dance with you?" He gaze seemed more intense now.
Pam wasn't sure what to say. "Because it's what friends do at weddings?" she finally replied.
Jim shook his head and opened his car door. "Good night, Pam."
She grabbed the top of the door. "What do you want me to say?"
He shook his head. "Nothing." He looked up toward the night sky. "The truth, maybe. But maybe this is the truth."
"Wait," She replied, pleadingly.
They stood there, car door between them, and looked into each other's eyes for a long time. Pam could see he looked tired, and a little sad. She wondered if his sadness was her fault somehow. She knew he'd had that same look since his return to Scranton. She couldn't bear the thought of somehow being responsible for that, and knew it really was time for the truth, no matter what the consequences.
"I want you to dance with me because I'm in love with you and it's the only way I can think of to get that close to you," she said, her words rushing together.
Jim continued to stare at her silently. She started to fear he hadn't heard her when he finally spoke. "Now was that so hard to say?" She noticed a faint smile starting to pull at his lips.
She looked down at the ground, feeling a bit embarrassed. "Unfortunately, yes," she replied.
Jim step backed and closed his door, then moved closer to her. "But was it true?"
She looked up. "Yes. Yes, it was."
"Pam," he started, and Pam thought no one had ever said her name so perfectly as he did at that moment. She braced for his explanation on why nothing was going to come from her declaration.
"Things are going to have to change if this is going to work."
That was not the letdown she was expecting. "Excuse me?" she said.
"We need to start being honest with each other about our feelings."
Pam was confused. "I just told you the truth."
He nodded. "How long have you felt that way?"
She shook her head. "I don't know," she said slowly. "I began to realize it right before you came back, but I can't remember a time when I didn't feel isomething/i for you."
"And I have been missing you, still loving you, ever since the night I first told you how I felt." He paused. "Even though I tried very hard to get over you. Even though I've been doing my best to shut you out." He laughed slightly. "Does that sound like two people being honest with each other?"
She brought her hands to her mouth as she gave a short, nervous laugh, and felt her legs beginning to shake. "No, it doesn't," she replied. She felt her eyes misting as his words began to sink in.
He stepped closer, and put a hand against her cheek. "Do you think maybe we can start being honest with each other?"
She nodded. "I've missed you so much," she replied, her voice choked with emotion.
She didn't even get a chance to agree to their new rule, as he gathered her up for a kiss immediately, and somehow it was even better than their last kiss nine months ago. Maybe it was because she was now in the position to accept it without guilt. Maybe it was because she knew there would be so many more kisses yet to come. Maybe it was because she was confident that she'd be getting her dance now.