Written for Valenship over at GW to lizzyshoe's list of dorky pick up line prompts

If anyone had asked her what she was doing, she would have told them that she was trying to examine the replicator blocks (finally, saving the galaxy was just plain inconvenient sometimes, especially when it interrupted her train of thought). She wasn't, definitely wasn't, thinking about north Minnesota, fishing, or Colonels.

Definitely not.

Replicator blocks.

Very Important For Future of Galaxy, Nay, Universe.

She wondered what he did when it was raining.

Did fish know if it was raining?

Surface tension disturbance maybe, pressure sensors or something. She'd never like biology. Too… uncertain. The math was more predictable, and more satisfying when it did what she wanted it to do. Biology just never held the same appeal.

Did they know he was there? Did they realise that he was out there to bait them, tempt them with promises of all sorts of goodness?

She was so not going there. Clamping her thoughts down, she reflected that he probably used plastic bait. Not. Worth. The. Effort.

Although very tempting.

Fishing, that is.

Maybe if she punched him on the mouth, it'd hurt too much for him to smile. That'd go a long way towards helping.

Hey, maybe she could kiss it better?

ShutUpSamShutUpSamShutUpSamShutUpSam…

"Hey, Carter, wat'cha doin'?"

She jumped. "Colonel! Sir!"

He held up his hands in a sign of surrender. "Whoa! Easy, Carter."

"Sorry, Sir… I was just thinking," she said, waving her hands in the direction of the Replicator blocks.

She thought maybe her nose got longer.

Well, she had been thinking. Just not about… work.

Actually, that was half the problem. The Colonel was work. Completely professional. Mainly professional.

"Carter, have you been working this whole time? When you could have been fishing with me? Ya missed out there, I can tell ya."

Yeah, she'd figured that one out, thank you very much.

"The Replicator blocks are completely fascinating and possibly the key to our survival. Sir," she said pointedly. Actually, the key to her survival was to get him to move three feet back. Because now he was craning over trying to look at the damn blocks.

"Cool."

She tried to think about the fact that any second now he'd probably manage to dismantle her microscope (he'd done it before in a fit of boredom when she wasn't looking, then given his best I'm-sorry grin to her. And she liked that grin far too much). But he was fiddling with the magnification like he'd never done it before. With a look of absolute concentration on his face.

Finally he stepped away.

She wasn't quite sure if she dared look.

Firstly, because what little work she'd done in the last twenty minutes would be completely ruined, and secondly because she'd have the urge to keep it like that.

How old was she again?

"So… Carter… what's DNA… DNA something. Helicopter. DNA helicopter," he asked, hands going into his pockets and looking the picture of nervousness for some unknown reason. A second later they came out and started fiddling with something he'd picked up from her desk.

She mutely removed the object in his hands before replacing it with a Rubik's cube that she'd started keeping around.

"DNA helicopter, Sir?"

"Yeah. Something like that."

She looked doubtful. "I'm not a biologist, Sir, maybe Janet…"

"No!" he said, far too quickly. "Needles, ya know?"

She sighed. Sometimes he was the biggest kid in the world.

"What context was it used in?" she asked, half resigned, half amused.

"Umm.. I can't remember."

He was lying. And embarrassed.

"Sir?"

"It was on a Valentine in Lee's office," he said, barely audibly, muttering.

"Sir?"

"It was on a card. In Lee's office." He was getting irritated now. And louder.

There was something about his expression…

Matthew Willis. Sidling up to her in the playground to ask her what a 'hermaphrodite' was. Poor kid was completely embarrassed. So was she, at the time.

Somewhere, a light clicked.

"Oh! 'If I were an enzyme, I'd be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes!'" she exclaimed, completely forgetting for a moment in the heat of discovery exactly who she was talking to.

It didn't take long to remember.

She stared at him. He stared at her.

There was mutual staring.

And blushing.

"…"

IAmNotThinkingAbout ColonelO'Neill'sJeans…

Which was why her eyes stopped drifting downwards and jerked themselves up to his face. Which was a mistake, because that meant that she saw where he was looking.

…IAmDefinitelyNotThinkingAboutColonelO'Neill'sGenes.

OrWhatOurChildrenWouldLookLike.

DoNotJumpColonelO'NeillItIsABadIdea.

Although she couldn't remember why, at this moment.

Samantha O'Neill. Sam O'Neill. Major Sam O'Neill. S. O'Neill.

ShutUpSam.

He cleared his throat.

"DNA helicase is the enzyme that unwinds" (not unzips, she'd never be able to say that word again) "DNA when it's dividing" (like meiosis, she really wasn't going there) "so the card was a play on words, and … funny… if you're… Bill."

He stared. She wasn't quite sure if he'd heard a single word of that. "Right," he said, as if that explained everything. "Cool."

He tried to shove his hands in his pockets, and failed. Mainly 'cos he still had the Rubik's cube in his grip. He grinned stupidly at her.

"D'oh!"

She grinned back. She didn't really get the reference, but the look on his face was classic Jack O'Neill and just… made her happy.

"I think this… is yours," he said wryly, handing it back to her. She took it. To her vague disappointment, their fingers didn't brush.

If this was a romantic comedy (and her life sometimes seemed to fit the latter if not the former) then their hands would have brushed.

There again, if this was a romantic comedy, she wouldn't be reduced to a pile of goo because Colonel O'Neill was wearing that leather jacket.

And there'd be a kiss before the final credits.

Hell, even Speed got a kiss before the final credits.

She wanted a kiss.

From Colonel O'Neill.

Who was looking at her funny 'cos she'd zoned out.

"I … gotta check in with Hammond, but I'll be back to drag you to lunch," he told her.

The thought of being dragged anywhere should have been offensive, but the thought of the Colonel dragging her places was… tempting.

With Daniel and Teal'c.

Although, hopefully, he'd have changed out of the leather jacket.

Or not.

She liked him in the leather jacket.

Maybe there'd be cake.

He always tried to steal a bite of her slice when there was.

And look adorable.

God, he'd shoot her if he knew she thought he was adorable.

ShutUpSam.