Chapter Forty-Eight: Epilogue
Five Years Later
She reflected that she'd gone through this door hundreds of times. Thousands, perhaps. It had been a hard door to cross through, on occasion, but never as hard as this.
She felt another hand close around hers, and smiled at the man at her left. He knew, as he'd always known, exactly when she needed him.
For just a second, she calculated who she could possibly run in to. Her parents. She'd seen them since she'd left, so the idea was slightly less daunting. Cristina would want to see her, but would pretend that she did not. Addison was slightly better than the worst possibility.
They managed the door. He sent her a reassuring smile, slightly different than his signature one, which still made her slightly weak in the knees.
"We should split up," she said abruptly, almost as soon as they were through the door. He glanced at her, looking perplexed.
"What? Are you doing that thing again, that thing where you're insane? I thought you were over that."
She shook her head in irritation.
"Think about it. Under what circumstances would it be better if we run into anyone together?" she asked.
Mark frowned, still puzzled by the logic.
"Are you going to go looking for him?" he asked, a dark flash of the familiar jealousy crossing his face, as irrational as it was.
"It's not like we can avoid it altogether," she said, shrugging. He nodded. She leaned up to kiss him. He wrapped his arm around her waist, anchoring her there for a moment. She was briefly reminded of another kiss in the same place, years before. A kiss that had ended in disaster minutes later.
He ventured off in the other direction. Meredith glanced briefly at his retreating form-the same leather jacket, the jeans. Almost nothing had changed.
Meredith chose a random corridor and began to wander down it. It was odd. She thought that she would have forgotten, but she could name every room that it branched off in to. She passed droves of interns, of residents, almost none of whom she recognized. She vaguely wondered if they recognized her.
As she passed into the next corridor, she abruptly came face to face with the person she'd been hoping to avoid the most. His blue eyes widened in amazement at the sight of her, his lips automatically curving into a smile.
He moved forward a step as if to take her into his arms, but stepped back. He reflected that in some ways it would have been easier, had the last five years never happened, he would have been able to move forward and hug her, greet her fondly. He reflected that it was almost better than having had her for just the one night, than all the pain they'd dragged each other through.
"Derek," she said. Trying his name out on her lips.
"Meredith."
He lead her to a conference room several feet away and they stood awkwardly a few feet away from each other.
Meredith noticed that he had no wedding ring. And laugh lines.
She searched desperately for something, anything, to say. Something that would inject normality into the room. Anything at all. She wondered desperately about her friends, but they couldn't speak of them without Addison coming in to it. She wanted to talk about her life, but couldn't speak of it without Mark coming into it, who was her life.
"So what have you been doing with your life?" he asked, his voice rational, calm.
She couldn't tell him the answer, he didn't want to hear it: Sex. Love, traveling, having the time of my life with the love of my life. Being far away from here.
"Oh, you know. I've kind of been anywhere. Riding horses along beaches, climbed mountains, jumped off bridges," she said. He nodded.
"And you have a child."
"A boy. He's three," she offered, feeling self conscious.
"Is he around?" asked Derek. She nodded.
"Yeah, he's with his..."
She broke off when the two of them came into the room. Meredith turned to her husband, happier to see him than she ever had been before.
"Derek," he said, having the grace to look uncomfortable. "Hey."
Reluctantly they shook hands before Derek's gaze fell to the small child that Mark had been leading by the hand. He sucked in his breath in surprise-if before he'd managed to lie to himself about Mark and Meredith being forever, now he could not. The boy was small and sturdy, had curly blonde hair and gray eyes, and his father's smile. Derek squatted to the floor and took in the sight of the eyes of the woman he loved in the face of this child.
"Hello. My name is Derek Shepherd, what's yours?" he asked.
"Gabriel Sloan," said the child. Derek nodded. "Mommy and Daddy call me Gabe."
He looked up at Meredith, but she wasn't looking at him. She was looking proudly down at her child.
"So what are you two doing here?" he asked.
Mark and Meredith exchanged glances. Derek recognized the gesture instantly-it was something he had once been able to do with Addison, after they'd been married for years. It showed that they could talk without speaking.
"Here to see Addison, actually," said Mark. Derek stared at them before comprehension dawned. He glanced hurriedly down to the slight bump on Meredith's small frame and cringed. He'd been able to survive their wedding day, with copious amounts of scotch, passing out before the night fell so that he didn't have to picture her with another man's hands all over her body. He'd survived the birth of her child because they'd been across the country, or perhaps across the world, and they'd barely existed to him. This was different. This was real, a hard, unignorable fact.
"Congratulations," he said, his voice hard. Mark wrapped his arm around her, not caring that it seemed like he was perhaps adding insult to injury, only caring that she needed his comfort right then. Derek stared at them for a moment, the young perfect family. Mark, as he'd never looked before, was solid. He held his son's hand in his.
The three Sloan's awkwardly took their leave, abandoning Derek to sit by himself in the conference room and obsess about the exchange he'd just taken part in.
"Meredith?"
The voice coming from the door was excited, more excited than Meredith would have expected, coming from someone who's husband she'd slept with and who's lover she'd married. Meredith smiled instantly when the beautiful redhead came in to view, before hastily reconstructing her expression to conceal her amazement.
Addison's face, which had been slightly plastic and unbelievable when Meredith and Mark had left, was now slightly aged, but she seemed brighter somehow. Her red hair was slightly shorter, but most shocking of all was the bump she wore proudly beneath her scrubs.
"Wow," managed Meredith, after Addison's arms had come around her neck before moving to Mark and then to Gabe. Addison smiled and flashed a diamond ring on her finger.
"Alex?" asked Meredith hopefully. Addison nodded, and Meredith glanced to her white coat, where Dr. Addison Karev had been embroidered. She shook her head slightly in amazement.
"Apparently you missed a lot," said Addison, coming to sit on her bed, clipboard in hand.
"More than I thought," she said.
"My due date is in about five weeks. Callie and George-you guys left after they got married, right? They have two kids now, a little girl Ariadne and a little boy, Patrick. Your parents are doing well, as I'm sure you know. Cristina and Burke bought a new house a little while back."
"Izzie?" asked Mark, idly curious. Meredith squeezed his hand.
"She came back once never since," said Addison, shrugging. He nodded. Meredith squeezed his hand again. They still spoke, occasionally, of what had gone on with him and Izzie. It still pained him, more than he'd ever let on.
Addison smiled awkwardly as the memory of Izzie entered the room. It made the room, already containing two of his lovers, too full for any of their likings. She cleared her throat.
"So, I guess I can imagine what you two are doing here?" she asked happily, glancing down at Meredith's stomach. Mark smiled proudly and answered ahead of his wife.
"We were in Italy when we found out, and we wanted to come home immediately. Gabe came early and almost needed surgery. We had a good doctor, but we knew you could take better care of the new one," said Mark, his arm going protectively around his wife's shoulders. Addison smiled slightly, glancing down at the chart in her hand again.
"How's it going for you?" asked Meredith, nodding toward Addison's noticeable bump.
"Really well," said Addison proudly. "I was kind of worried in the beginning, but it's going all according to plan."
Meredith tried for a moment, and failed quickly, to picture Alex Karev as a father. She figured it would come to him, as it had to Mark.
"Would you like an ultrasound?" asked Addison.
"Very much," replied Meredith, nodding eagerly. She swiveled around so that she was lying down on the inclined hospital bed.
"I'd love to meet your son," said Addison, busying herself with the equipment.
"He's with my Dad," said Meredith, smiling, picturing him running around and terrorizing her father's office.
Addison nodded, somewhat distracted as she rubbed gel across Meredith's now exposed stomach and searched intently for the baby's heartbeat.
All at once it filled the room, rapid yet steady. Meredith smiled in relief.
"It's good. It sounds great, you guys. I might have to put you on bed rest later on. We'll monitor her carefully," said Addison, catching Mark's eye, reassuring him.
Mark and Meredith left together, aiming to get to Richard's office without running into someone they knew.
"Meredith?"
She stopped abruptly, stopping Mark along with her and turned to face the voice that had called after her.
"Alex, hey," she said in exhaustion. He wrapped his arms around her, she got a proper look of him.
He looked older, more so than anyone she'd seen so far. He was clean shaven, without trace of the stubble that had occupied his face when they had been interns. He wore a gold band on his left ring finger and in his eye he had no expression of malice or cynicism.
"You look great," she said, proud of him. He smiled.
"You too."
"Congratulations, man," said Mark, leaning in to shake his hand. Alex blushed slightly.
"It's a girl," he revealed, looking deeply proud.
"We have a boy, Gabe," said Meredith.
"Yeah, he's upstairs, I heard. News travels fast," he commented.
"Still," she agreed.
The three of them progressed up to the Chief's office, Alex gradually catching them up on the goings on of the hospital. He left them outside the office and they went inside together.
"Meredith!"
Richard Webber rose immediately from his desk to greet his step daughter, smiling at his son-in-law as well. Mark sighed in relief. Though they'd made peace long before the wedding, Richard had all but lost respect for Mark when he'd slept with Addison and then gotten involved with Izzie and then Meredith so soon after.
Gabe, as they were both somewhat relieved to see, was asleep on the short couch in Richard's office.
"He's got a lot of energy," said Richard fondly. Ellis and Richard had often gone to visit Mark and Meredith as they'd traveled with their sons, working at various hospitals around the world, but it was rare that they got to spend much time together.
"Like you wouldn't believe," said his mother fondly. Richard leaned against the edge of his desk.
"Now, am I correct in assuming that you two are going to be requiring employment? At least for the next couple of months?" he asked meaningfully, glancing almost imperceptibly at his daughter's stomach.
"Yes," said Mark, answering ahead of his wife, who had never warmed to the idea of returning home. "Everything's going well."
"I'm glad to hear that. Now I may as well tell you that your mother has ordered me, under no uncertain terms, to get all three of you to the house tonight," he said, firmness in his voice.
"There's a party?" asked Meredith, visibly paling.
"You've been gone for more than three years! Of course there's a party. Don't you think she deserves a party?" demanded Richard.
"I can just see everyone here," she pleaded. He rolled his eyes.
"Well then, I guess your mother knows perfectly well that you're going to escape as soon as you possibly can from all the questions and the curious looks. So be there tonight. 6:30," he said firmly, adopting his Chief of Surgery Glare for a moment. Meredith nodded submissively before departing with Mark, a sleeping Gabe in his arms.
"Bet you never thought this would be your life," commented Meredith, hours later.
Mark smiled slightly to himself. He resumed what he'd been doing. He was letting his hand wander lightly around her thigh while they lay in bed together, half covered by a sheet in their house. Where she'd once lived with Derek and where she now lived with him.
"Well no. Except for the hot wife part," he said, letting his hand roam a bit higher. She smiled.
"My nine year old self never thought I'd marry you, either," she said. For a moment the ghost of Derek floated in between them, but then vanished.
"That was insane, tonight. I forgot we knew that many people. I'm so glad we weren't..." he trailed off.
"Here," she finished for him. "We needed to get out, at least for a little while."
It had been a hard decision, to leave Seattle to make their own lives, but it had been worthwhile. Whether they'd been working at foreign hospitals, raising their son or just been exploring, it had all been worth it.
"We needed to be away from Derek. And Addison," said Mark simply. Meredith smiled.
"And Izzie. And George," she added. Mark cringed.
"You know, I'd forgotten about George."
Meredith smiled as he rolled on top of her, propping himself up on his elbows.
"You know, that's not fair. I mean, we've been married for five years, you've knocked me up twice. For that matter we've had sex like, a million times. I was only ever with Derek and George once each," she said, matter-of-factly. He leaned down and kissed her deeply.
"Shut up," he muttered, his face close to hers. She compiled.
"Are you sure? I'm getting all pregnant looking again," she said doubtfully. He sighed and eased himself off of her again.
"Come on, are you going to make me say it?" he asked, his eyes teasing her.
"Say what?" she asked innocently. He leaned down, kissed her again.
"You're beautiful. You always have been. I love you even more when you're pregnant," he said honestly. She smiled.
"Well, there is more of me to love," she conceded, letting him kiss her again.
Five Months Later
"I'm so blaming you for this."
Mark Sloan cringed as he watched his wife breath through yet another contraction. It felt like the thousandth she'd gone through, already, and they didn't appear to be slowing down. In fact, they were speeding up. He reminded himself that this was a good thing. It meant that it would all be over soon.
"It's all my fault," he said earnestly. She clutched his hand. In her pain, her eyes wide with fear, she looked eerily to him like the child she'd once known. Completely lost, completely dependent on him.
"It hurts. And do you have any idea how awkward this is? Addison and I have shared two of the same boys, and now..." she blushed, trailing off as she noticed Addison Karev watching her and smiling slightly.
"It's okay, Mer. Izzie delivered Leanna-there's karma for you, right?"
Meredith managed a smile at Addison's words. Addison and Alex's daughter, Leanna Ellis Karev, had been born months before. She and Addison were already lobbying for a Day Care Center at the hospital.
Meredith let out a scream, her first real one of the day, as a contraction arrived, yet again. Mark anxiously met Mark's eyes.
"Don't worry," she said comfortingly. "We're getting there."
Meredith, now exhausted, watched Mark walk around the hospital room with their hours old daughter in his arms. She would never get used to Mark looking like that, cradling their daughter in his big muscular arms, who was so small she almost seemed to get lost in them.
"Go to sleep," he entreated. "We're getting acquainted."
Meredith smiled.
"I don't want to miss any of it," she admitted. Mark and their daughter walked over to her hospital bed and sat down on the edge of it. He tilted her so that Meredith could see her face.
"You won't," he promised.
"Do you think Gabe will mind?" she asked worriedly. He shook his hand.
"Gabe's already thrilled. He's with the Burke's, and apparently Miles is bugging Cris about having another kid," he said. Meredith smiled. She reached out, gently, to touch the baby's fine blond hair.
"Anna." She paused. "Anneliese Cristina Sloan."
"Anneliese Cristina and Gabriel Derek Sloan. We've done well for ourselves," conceded Mark. Meredith nodded in agreement.
Meredith's eyes began to fall further closed as the room began to fill. With Callie and with George, who once would have been as heartbroken as Derek at such an event but was now only filled with happiness for his friends. With Addison and Alex, already booking their daughters for years worth of play dates. Cristina and Burke, bringing Gabe to admire his new sister, and also to admire for themselves.
Meredith let her eyes fully close as her parents entered the room, along with Bailey and her husband. She stopped worrying about Derek coming, too, bringing with him his longing and his gloom. Her life had taken its own course, and she no longer needed to watch over it all the time.
The End
Author's Finale Note: So I guess that's a wrap. Thank you all, once again, for reading and reviewing. This has been one of my favourite stories to write, ever, and it's also the best response I've ever received. I'll tell you guys now that I MIGHT write a sequel, and I also might not. It would deal with Mark and Meredith's marriage and also with the return of Izzie.
Sorry for the lack of recent updates. I broke my leg and then had to have surgery, but I'm doing better now. I'm definitely going to post at least a oneshot soon, I have an idea for one.
Hope you've enjoyed this as much as I have!
Hilary