A/N: This was written last year (before the anime - ) and it takes place just after Chapter 32.

Disclaimer: I did not take any part with the making or creation of Death Note. All credit goes to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata for the story and art. All other credit goes to their random assistants who brought them Dunkin Donuts and coffee on those really tough days. Like when Ohba-san's creativity went on vacation to Hawaii and he lost all ability to draw. Or when Obata-san's plot bunnies just weren't hoppin'. Yes, those little people behind the scenes deserve much more credit then they get sniff sniff

The One True Enemy of Shinigami

Amane Misa a.k.a. Misa-Misa had just modeled the new clothes line from Hiroko Koshino. 15 outfits, 526 pictures and, 5 long hours of hair styling , makeup applying and, posing. On a normal day she would go back to her apartment, feed the cat, make dinner and, watch reruns on TV. Today was not normal. Of course, nothings normal when youre the owner of a Death Note.

On this particular evening Misa decided to pay a visit to her savior, Yagami Light a.k.a. Kira. Also on this particular evening Misa decided to let her cat pay a visit to Light as well.

Her high-heeled shoes clacked loudly on the sidewalk leading to the Yagami house, her cat yawned in Misas designer hand-bag, while her shinigami silently floated behind both of them.

When she got to the houses gate, she did a quick mirror check

"Rem, does my hair look okay?"

"It looks fine."

"Rem, is my make-up smudged?"

"It looks fine."

"Rem, is my shirt too tacky?"

"It looks fine."

"Rem--"

"I thought the day a model asked a shinigami for fashion advice would never come... But I guess you're the exception..."

"You're no fun!" she pouted.

"I don't really like this Yagami Light person that much, so can we hurry this up?" Rem asked.

"No, I'm staying here as much as possible."

"Damn." Ignoring her shinigami, she rang the doorbell. There was some footsteps, some clunks, some yelling and then the toilet flushed. More footsteps and the door opened. What she saw was Sayu holding the doorknob while in a headlock from Light.

"Light!" Misa yelled, completely ignoring the totured little sister. She jumped up and hugged him.

"Get off me!" Light yelled.

"Ah, Misa-san," Sachiko Yagami, Lights mother said," Its good to see you."

"We'll be in my room. Make some tea, Mom," Light said.

"Guess what! Guess what! I brought my cat!"

"Great..." Light said.

"Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk," Ryuk appeared behind Light.

"Shut up, Ryuk."

"Only if you give me three apples."

"All out, sorry. Ill buy some tomorrow."

"No... apples? Hyuk, hyuk... That's a good one..."

Ryuk started to worry that Light wasn't kidding and that there were no apples in the house. He looked at Light, he looked at Misa, he looked at Rem, he looked back at Misa, then looked at the fat creature in her handbag.

"Cat?!" What are you doing bringing a cat here? And you call yourself an owner of a Death Note!

"What's wrong with Fluffy?"

"Its name is Fluffy?" Light asked.

"His name is Fluffy."

"That's the worst name I've ever heard! One, its unoriginal and two, what self-respecting guy responds to the name Fluffy?"

"Fine, I'll change his name to Light, then we wont have any problems will we?"

"Do whatever you want," Light sighed," By the way, Ryuk, why dont you like cats?" When Light turned to Ryuk, the shinigami had already begun twisting himself into pretzels and doing handstands.

"Cat piss."

"WHAT?!" Misa yelled," That's just gross."

"If your cat pees on the Death Note, the pages cannot be dried out and the Death Note will be ruined."

"And?"

"Well, if Light cant keep killing people as Kira, the cops'll get 'm (Not that I care, it would actually be pretty funny hyuk, hyuk, hyuk...) but more importantly I couldn't go back to the shinigami world without a Death Note."

"Didn't you say that you had a second Death Note?" Rem said.

"Shut up, Rem!"

"You have a second Death Note?" Light glared at Ryuk.

"Don't get any ideas, Light. I left it at home."

"Whatever, if this one never runs out of pages, Ill be fine for a long time. But what's so bad about cat piss? I mean, if I spill a Coke on the Death Note, won't it have the same effect?"

"No, cat piss is the ONE TRUE ENEMY OF SHINIGAMI!"

"I thought that Hollows were, Ichigo randomly popped in."

"Shut up, Ichigo! Go back to your own manga!" Everyone yelled. Then Rukia dragged him back to Soul Society in an embarrassing series of events.

"How come Bleach gets an anime and we don't?" Misa asked.

"We don't question those things. We don't even control what's in our speech bubble," Rem said.

"Then, who does?" Ryuk asked.

Tsugumi Ohba slowly backed away from his desk and ran for his dear life.

While everyone was throwing stuff at Ichigo and the amazingly awesome creator of this manga, they did not notice the small cat by the name of Fluffy get out of Misas bag. They also did not notice when the cat somehow operated Lights security system for his Death Notes hiding place, managed to get it on the floor and, proceeded to relieve himself on it.

There was a sudden awkward silence in Lights room when they finally noticed the cat piss.

"Oh, crap." Ryuk was wide-eyed and terrified. Light had fainted. Because Light fainted, Misa decided to faint too. Ryuk had a heart attack (even though its sort of impossible for a shinigami to die). Rem decided to do something productive and cleaned the cat piss.

When Ryuk, Light and, Misa woke up, (somehow Ryuk woke up from a heart attack) they found Lights Death Note perfectly clean and dry.

"Wha--? How... Who... Cat... Notebook...? I mean, huh?" Ryuk was confuzzled.

"Ryuk, you forgot again, didn't you?" Rem said.

"Huh?"

"The one true enemy to shinigami isn't cat piss. Cat piss is the one true enemy to shinigami in Soul Society."

"Really?"

"Yeah! Why do you think everyone's afraid of Yoruichi-san?"

"She has a human form y'know," Misa said.

"That's besides the point!"

"Then what is the one true enemy to all shinigami?" Light asked.

"I don't know if I should say..." Rem said doubtfully.

"Awww, come on Rem-chan!" Misa said in her cutest voice possible.

"Its just that this will just be another plot twist that Light can use to his advantage to control all shinigami and rule the world in a dramatic struggle against his arch-rival Hideki Ryuga/ Ryuzaki/ L/ Eraldo Coil/ Denueve."

"Seriously, just say it so this God awful fanfic will end!"

"The one true enemy is...Redbull. "

"Geez, Ryuk... How will I ever get anything through that hollow head of yours?"

"Hollow, where?" Our orange-haired friend returns.

"Shut up, Ichigo!"