Zelda: Hello, again, my dear fans. I finally put this back up. But now, I have little tolerance. You curse, you're blocked and you shall receive a very angry e-mail. Now, please people, just enjoy humour and try not to trash it and make me angry. Because if I take this down, it might not come back up. The reason I brought this back is because I miss the many NICE reviews I received, I put a lot of work into this, and I got a chuckle out of writing it. And now, since the year is slowly going downhill, I thought I should try writing this again. So, please enjoy this story as I shall be posting a chapter everyday. And today I shall be posting the prologue and the 1st and 2nd chapter. Thank you for reading and please, send me non vulgar reviews. If you like it, be civil in your reviews and if you don't, don't review or just tell me politely on why you don't like it and what I can do to improve. Thank you and enjoy!

Prologue: Mercenaries (Who kill people!!)

Ike charged at his father with a badly carved wooden sword. His father swiftly evaded it and struck Ike back. Ike couldn't hold his father's strength so he ended up tumbling backwards.

"Well, Ike, had enough?" his father asked.

Ike grunted and got back to his feet, once again charging at his father.

After a few more minutes of random fighting, a high pitched squeal was heard, ringing through the tranquility of the forest.

Ah, it was Mist, the girl who seems to ruin EVERY SERIOUS CUTSCENE by saying some stupid comment. Well, she had relevance right here. "Dad! Ike!" called the brown haired Cleric.

"Oh, Mist. Here to ruin this utterly unimportant fight?" Ike's father asked.

Just then, Ike came in for the kill. Ike's father quickly moved out of the way and smacked Ike in the back with his badly carved wooden sword. Ike went flying and slid across the ground.

"O-M-G!!!" Mist exclaimed. "I hate you Dad! You always hurt Ike!!!"

The father sighed, "Blasted teens and their hormones."

Ike was obviously out cold. How did Mist pick up and move him out of the forest? We may never know because old Ike has a flashback. He sees a beautiful woman sitting beside him, smiling, and singing some song that acts as some sort of lullaby.

"Mother…" mumbles Ike as the memory fades away.

He has a terrible wake up call: his sister attempting to sing that lullaby. Each note is terribly off key and HARDLY follows the lullaby at all. Ike sits up and quickly rushes over to shut her up. "Um…Mist…that, uh, song…you're off key…"

Mist scowled and attempted to throw daises at him. But, with her weak, untrained arm, they shot out about two inches before falling to the ground.

Ike pointed and laughed, "Ha! Idiot!"

Mist decided to change the subject, "Are you all right?"

"Um…I'm standing here laughing at your lack of throwing skills. Yeah I'm alright!" The blue haired Ranger said.

Their father, who suddenly gained the name Greil, ran up to them. "So, the sleeping prince awakens!"

Mist began to lecture her father. "Father! I can't believe you! Wood is very bad!! You don't slam someone in the back with it!"

"Okay, if a stupid little chunk of wood knocks him out, he's obviously not ready to be a mercenary, who kill people." Greil responded.

"Bah," Ike huffed. "I'm fine. Mist, don't spaz."

"Alright then!" Greil announced. "I'm now randomly going to engage you in another battle even though I just knocked you out!"

"Yay!!" Mist shouted. "Violence!!! Make it bloody!"

Ike shrugged, "Until I can just poke father with a sword, I'm not giving up!"

It appears Ike has established the whole Hero business.

"GAH!!! VOICES!!!" Ike screamed.

"Calm down, son." Greil said. "That's just the narrator. Ignore her."

Suddenly, a guy with dark green hair popped out of the trees. "Olli Olli Oxen Free!!" he screamed.

"Like, totally O-M-G!!" Mist exclaimed. "It's Boyd!! Hey Boyd, why are you here?"

Boyd shrugged. "Oh…I don't know, nothing special. I just came to see how the boss was doing. Oh, and I came to make fun of Ike too!" Boyd poked Ike. "Um…what happened to you?"

"Nothing," Ike lied.

Mist decided to tell what really happened. "Father knocked Ike out with a stick. End of story."

Ike rolled his eyes and was about to yell at Mist but Greil spoke. "You came at just the right time, Boyd. It's your turn to knock Ike out with a stick. But in your instance, it's an axe.

"Cool!" Boyd exclaimed.

"I think Ike should fight someone on his own level," Greil said. "Alright with you Ike?"

"Yeah, whatever. I just want to attack someone."

"Hmph," Boyd huffed. "I don't know what he means by, "on his own level" stuff, but whatever, I'll fight you."

As the battle began, Anna the helpful-hint girl, popped up. "I'm going to teach you how to fight!!" exclaimed the girl with BRIGHT red hair.

Suddenly, a random archer came by and killed her. But, there were no tears.

Ike ran up to Boyd and readied himself. Mist screamed, "Chop that green hair straight off, Ike!"

Boyd blew a raspberry at Mist. But, Ike swung his sword at Boyd causing 9 damage! Boyd chuckled, slammed Ike with his axe, and readied himself again as Ike charged, and, with a one last slash, caused Boyd to fall.

"That…that wasn't too bad," Boyd said in astonishment.

"Boyd's a loser! Boyd's a loser!" Mist sang.

"SILENCE OF THE LAMBS!!!" Boyd snapped.

Greil blinked, "Um…that's enough, Boyd." Boyd walked over to a tree to sulk at his loss. "Nice work, Ike! Now, this time, I'm actually going to challenge you! But first…Mist!

Mist walked over her to Ike. "Here you go! It's a vulnery. A vulnera. A vuuuulneeer…

"Vulnerary?" Ike asked.

"Yeah! That! Here!"

You got a Vulnerary!

"I did?" Ike inquired.

Yes Ike, you did. Congrats.

Greil grew impatient. "Ike! Stop playing with the narrator and let's get this over with! This background music is starting to anger me. Oh…and um…I need to make a speech here. Oh yeah! Um…use that Vulnerary or I'm going to kill you. Alright! Let's do this!

Ike immediately used the Vulnerary and healed. Greil ran over to his son and slashed him. Ike did the same and they both lost energy. Ike used the Vulnerary again as Greil charged forward once more and slashed Ike, who countered. Greil had lost more energy than Ike, and Ike could tell. So, instead of healing, Ike attacked, and this time, it was his father who fell.

Mist was cheering, but Ike was not happy. "Father, you were holding back, weren't you?"

Greil stood, "A bit pessimistic, aren't we? Well, yeah, I was. And um…you're improving…I guess.

Boyd stopped sulking to run over. "I was doing the same thing! Ha! Hahahah!!

"Liar…" Mist growled.

"So…" Ike started. "Can I be a person who randomly runs around and kills people?"

Greil blinked. "Uh, fine, Ike. Tomorrow will be your first day as a full-fledged mercenary, who kills people!"

"Yay!" Ike squeaked. "You watch me father! I'll catch up to everyone!"

"Alright everyone," Greil said. "Back to the fort!"