Issues of Morality
Disclaimer: Naruto was written by Masashi Kishimoto. Licenses confuse me, so I hope it'll suffice to say that I sure don't own it; it's probably owned by some company or somesuch.
Gah. Paperwork.
Being the complete and utter bane of my life, paperwork probably breeds secretly like rabbits on steroids. That's the only possible explanation for why I've been sitting in my desk for the last fourteen hours, with no appreciable dent in the piles.
Come to think of it, that would mean my desk is some sort of love hotel for them.
Ew. With that thought lingering in my mind, I gingerly pull the next page towards me.
It's a mission form. They usually only get passed to me for a review if there's something unusual that would preclude my little underlings from putting it in the signature pile.
Let's see…One Mori Yoshihisa up for an assassination…
Hmm…Sounds a bit familiar.
According to the profile, a local lord, in charge of a small area. Apparently, he has a rather bad reputation for enjoying the area's…shall we say for sampling the wares of various women? Various other vices are described there, but I skim past to the next section.
Lessee, expected resistance, a few privately owned guards, perhaps local law enforcement?
Payment is standard for this kind of assassination, not really all that much since there won't be any opposing ninja.
Huh, that's a bit odd. Payment collectively comes from several of the villages in that area. I was expecting a political rival of some sort.
Ah well. Now what was I looking for? I skip ahead to the note that the reviewer left behind and read it.
Mm. That's why the name sounded familiar. The man to be assassinated is closely related to the daimyo of the Water Country.
Political ramifications, one of the primary reasons that these things get routed to my desk. On one hand, it'd be pretty foolish to start refusing missions just because it might bother someone important. After all, a ninja village is pretty much autonomous from other authorities when it comes down to it, and killing people inevitably pisses someone off. That being said, the less important people or even semi important people irritated at us, the better.
It's never good to sever bridges for little benefit. I look at the payment again, shrug, and toss it on the rejected pile.
I look at the pile of papers to go.
Damn, I need a distraction.
And for once, the universe answers.
"Oy! Tsunade!"
The door slams open as Naruto bursts in, followed more sedately by the rest of his team.
My mouth begins to curve into a smile. But before it finishes, out of the corner of my eye, I see movement.
Crap. I really should have invested in folders. Or a cabinet system. Pile after pile of papers sag, twist, and fall, pushed by the piles behind them in a horrific domino effect. It happens in slow motion, almost like miniature explosions as the piles burst into a greater volume from their compact positions. In a way, it's fascinating how the papers float into the air, a sort of dance of black and white in the sunlight.
I detect the team slowly backing away behind me, carefully closing the door behind them.
It's funny how people react in times of fear. After all, logically, there's absolutely no way they can leave without me noticing, and nowhere they can go that I can't.
But oddly, I don't really feel all that angry. Put it up to exhaustion.
"Ah well. Naruto, help me sort them out eh?"
As far as I recall, there's nothing particularly sensitive here that needs to be kept hidden.
He blinks in surprise before kneeling down and grabbing a few.
"Signed and unsigned mission reports go in those two piles, signed mission requests go in those, rejected requests go there…You get the idea." I tell him.
He nods and starts to carefully put things in their places.
I sigh and lean back in my chair to take a short nap.
When I wake up, Naruto is still there on the floor.
I look around my office. The piles are all neat and tidy. To be quite honest, I'm rather surprised.
"Finished?" I ask him.
"Yeah." He says in a preoccupied tone, reading one of the mission requests.
I raise an eyebrow. "Something you're curious about?"
He turns towards me. Ah, it's the request I just rejected.
"Why'd this one get rejected? Seems like it'd be a good mission to knock this guy off."
"He's closely related to the daimyo of the Water Country." I tell him.
He still looks puzzled. "We could always do it secretly. No one would know it was us receiving the payment."
I pause and think for a few moments.
"I guess you're right. Hand it here." I say, smiling at him.
I reach for it and toss it in the accepted pile.
"Now go, paperwork is bad for your health." He grins as I shove him out the door.
I close the door behind him and sigh.
The mission request goes back to the rejected pile.
It has to. A collective payment mission staying secret? Not likely. One of those villages would eventually spill the beans, leaving an even sourer taste in the daimyo's mouth.
Sometimes, despite my best efforts to think otherwise, I think that Naruto can never become Hokage. I do my best to never reveal any of these thoughts to him, and for that matter, to myself. It would be almost poetic justice to have him become Hokage, to say nothing of the immense personal satisfaction, but…
Before anyone should become Hokage, they must be able to make the best decision for the village. Not the right one mind you, most definitely not the right one, but the best one. And to be quite honest, I'm not sure if he can.
I'm not sure I want him to.
I never wanted to myself, but it's too late for me though…
I squash the depressing thoughts and move on.
Next in the mission request pile…
A few need a monetary adjustment, i.e. we can demand more for our services…
Hm…Now this one's oddly high paying.
A request for three deaths…A young couple who recently eloped and their newborn son.
Seems a bit early to start making enemies. Maybe looking at the description will clear it up.
Ah, the classic jilted lover revenge story. The employer was apparently spurned in favor of his rival, who eloped with the girl after it turned out she was pregnant with his child. Our employer seems like a fairly rich merchant from the looks of it.
Now why would this come to my desk? From the footnote, it looks like he has a few special requests. It needs to look like a robbery gone wrong, because he's still doing business with the girl's father. Thus the extra payment.
That narrows down the people I can send on this mission.
I look up at the knock on my door.
It's one of the chuunin who moved up from the records department yesterday.
"Yes?"
He timidly walks in. "I had a question about this mission?"
He hands me a form. I lean back and peruse it.
Standard boilerplate contract, nothing really out of the ordinary.
I look up at the chuunin surreptitiously. He has a somewhat guilty look on his face. Perhaps a bit queasy?
Ah…I look back at the contract. The two to be killed are children, the girl four, and the brother six. That might explain his reaction.
"How long have you worked in records?"
He looks taken aback at the seeming non sequitur. "Four years."
"You've seen a lot of mission reports then."
He nods, still confused.
I harden my voice for the next part. "Then you know there is nothing in this contract that warrants my specific attention."
He jerks up in surprise at the sudden change in my tone.
"The thing is…" he mutters.
"What?" I ask irritably.
"Well...I just…" he tries. I am not appeased. I know what he doesn't want to say.
"Let me guess, you'd rather have the Hokage sign on it? You'd like to think your hands are clean, that you did something good in calling it to my attention?" I ask him in an increasingly angry voice.
He backs away, waving his hands in front of him in a feeble defense, but his eyes tell me I've hit the mark.
"Would you like to think to yourself, 'Oh, there was nothing I could do, it was the Hokage who made the final decision on the mission?' Would that make you feel better?" I ask him harshly, not expecting an answer.
He slumps, hanging his head in shame.
I grab the paper from him, sign it, and toss it in the accepted pile in a single smooth movement.
He looks up in surprise.
"Once." I tell him calmly.
He nods quickly, his face relieved.
"Only once." I repeat, this time with steel in my voice.
He winces slightly and bows as I return to my paperwork.
As the chuunin walks shakily back towards the door, he pauses suddenly, and turns halfway towards me.
"Does…Does it ever get easier?"
I blink and look up from my paper in surprise.
I don't even need to think about it as my hand unconsciously starts to sign the paper in front of me.
"Yes," I tell him as I blandly consign the young family to their deaths.
Yes it does.
AN: Why did I write this story? Because I found it odd how few Naruto fanfics touch upon the whole killing people for money thing. Those that do invariably mention large quantities of blood and guts and stuff. Somehow though, I feel that the idea of signing someone's death in a perfectly bureaucratic setting is more disturbing. Come to think of it, the idea of ninjas has always bothered me in some visceral way. Beats me how such an arguably touchy feely manga can be written about them.