Narrarator: ahem looks at the muggle mika-tone with slight apprehension before clearing her throat again Erm, He-LO ... Oh good this thing is on.

Good evening witches and wizards, I would like to paint for you a picture.

Think, think hard with your imaginations and envision this ... You, and the front. Yes you with the honking nose. Fix your cape, it's billowing on everyone else's personal space thinks that the greasy man looks like an over grown bat Yes, that's good ... Thank you.

You know when you wake up and everything goes wrong? Not just oops, forgot to put on my favorite ascot; I am talking about 'leaving the coffee pot running, missing the train (or the Knight Bus) only to realize by the time you catch the next one you left your folder in the public loo of the station and you can't remember what you wrote on it' kind of wrong. You wake up on the virtual and literal wrong side of the bed and nothing seems to go right for the next couple of hours? The next day? The next week even? Now imagine yourself a young, lovely witch (if you're a wizard just imagine yourself a brain ... Oh I'm just KIDDING! gives the fellow witches a yeah right look) that has had Mary-Sueish success. Top in her House, was a member of all the clubs in Hogwarts (sans Quidditch) and now is making it large in the muggle world (What do you mean you wouldn't try the mudblood life if your own depended on it, Draco Lucius Orion Malfoy? Need I remind you who fought WITH Potter to stop THE number one muggle killer? And again, should I refresh your memory on who has a fascination for the Wiggles? Yes that is what I thought looks smug when a certain blonde git shuts his whiney mouth). Imagine yourself always on time, always organized, and always poised. Imagine yourself one anal-retentive lass who has the next twenty years of her life mapped out on post-its and magical planners (Yeah ... I know what kind of loser does- err, Sorry. 'Mione, Padma. I wasn't calling the two of YOU losers ... he he he ...coughs) Now imagine if everything in your life went wrong for an entire year all just because your alarm woke you up thirty minutes late (Can you just imagine? What do you mean no? This isn't rocket science Crabbe ... Even Ron can do it! Err, Sorry Weasley, meant nothing by it ... I think you're sexy! What, Crabbe? No. What do Dark Marks have to do with anything. That was so HBP get with the program and IMAGINE. Goodness, did you miss the purple dinosaur development in your years? Or was it a purple hippogriff ...).

Now for the rest of you who aren't Malfoy, Granger, Patil, Weasley (No, Ron just because Hermione's name is next to Draco's doesn't mean that any Malnger nookie is going to happen ... Yes, I am sure. No. Fine? Would you rather it be Ginny's name next to his? I didn't think so mutters about overprotective, overreacting, overgrown redheads), or Crabbe (A dinosaur is a big lizard thing, imagine .. Oh forget it! throws hands up in defeat Just read the bloody story!)

storms off muttering ... last time I listen to Bumblebore

pops back in

WARNING: For the soft of temperaments, do screen your eyes and ears.