Author's notes:

Hello and how are you? First of all I'd like to thank you for opening this story and if you're cool enough you'll stick around long enough, anyways the whole idea of this story was conjured by my wickedly weird mind one day as I was stuffing myself with pastries and candy. Whoever imagined that candy could fuel the mind, anyways please do stick around and I hope you enjoy my weird story which by the way is the byproduct of overeating sweet treats and drowning them down with a milkshake. Silly, silly me.

Summary:

Find out what happens when a mysterious force transforms, Hijikata, Soji, the three comedians, Saitou, Tetsu and Susumu into women. Chaos ensues when this unknown curse transforms them into female alternates one stormy night…read and review please!

Chapter I

How it all began

Hijikata Toshizou was a man whose piercing eyes and cold demeanor made women fall head over heels for him, aside from being dubbed as the demon vice-commander of the Shinsengumi his other title had been the alpha male of all males. With one look he was able to seduce any woman and sadly this included the unwanted ones that most men would hide from, nevertheless the demon vice-commander was a man who every geisha in Shimabara would fight for and thus our story begins.

The men of the Shinsengumi, namely Kondou Isami, Hijikata Toshizou, Okita Souji, Hajime Saitou, the three comedians, the stoic shinobi Yamazaki Susumu, a reluctant Ichimura Tatsunosuke and his young brother Tetsu were all situated comfortably at an inn at Shimabara. The men, namely the three comedians had come out to pay their local haunt a visit after discovering that their favorite bookkeeper was celebrating his birthday.

Flashback

Ichimura Tatsunosuke felt an uncertain presence from behind; being that he was in the compounds of Kyoto's toughest police force he shrugged off the idea of being killed, besides who would want to kill a bookkeeper anyways? Well, maybe his little brother Tetsu but that was another story. The unknown presence that continued to linger was soon accompanied by stifled fits of laughter and uncontrollable hissing and utters of profanity, having heard enough the young bookkeeper went to the scene to soon find a discovery he knew he would regret.

There crouched down were none other than Harada Sanosuke, Nagakura Shinapchi and Toudou Heisuke or better known as the three comedians of the Shinsengumi. Tatsu sighed heavily, for wherever the three comedians are trouble is bound to come tailing behind.

"Guess we've been figured out eh Shinapchi?" Heisuke asked as he tried his best to stifle his laugh.

"Eh…is there anything I can do for you three?" the curious bookkeeper asked, "You three have been following me the entire day, is there something wrong? Is it Tetsu again?"

"Don't worry puppy-chan has been a good puppy all afternoon, you on the other hand haven't been honest to us." Sano said with a sly grin, a grin that caused shivers to run down the poor bookkeepers' spine.

"Oh crap! What did I do? What did I do? Oh shit! Could it be because I miscalculated some funds? Or could it be because I forgot to buy the right kind of sake, shit! Are they laughing because they'll be sending me to perform seppuku? Kami-sama, why me and why now?" Tetsu continued to mentally swear over and over again as the thought of him committing seppuku flashed in his thought.

As quick as lightning the paranoid bookkeeper dropped down to his knees and started pleading for mercy, the three comedians just looked on shocked.

"He's on maniac mode again" The three comedians thought in unison as they watched the scene unfurl before them.

"Sirs, whatever punishment the commander and vice-commander have had bestowed upon you to be delivered to me, I Tatsunosuke Ichimura will take it like a man. If you wish for me to commit seppuku then I shall commit seppuku here and now…and if you deem me unworthy of even committing seppuku then I will burn myself alive, but if you still think that is too low for me I will…I will commit seppuku while being burned alive! But please think of the welfare of my brother…"

"Hey, Tatsu relax will you?" Shinapchi cut off quickly, "What the heck made you think we were coming here to kill you?" the short captain asked, a dumbfounded look plastered on his face.

"You mean…you…you...you didn't come here to tell me that I was going to…die?"

Sano belly laughed as he jokingly punched Tatsu in the back, causing him to stumble forward. "Die? And why the heck do you think we'd kill our favorite bookkeeper who happens to be celebrating his you-know-what today?"

"Celebrating my you-know-what? What the heck is my you-know-what and why…oh shit…it's…"

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TATSUNOSUKE!" the three comedians cheered happily, not noticing the "I'm-going-kill-myself" look Tatsunosuke was emitting.

"Eh…and how did you sirs find out that today was my…my birthday?" Tatsunosuke asked, trying his best to hide the anger boiling inside of him.

"When I get my hands on the bastard who told these lunatics that today was my birthday I am going to kill him, father always said not to resort to violence but to hell with that someone's dying tonight!"

"Well…Tetsu-kun told us…" Heisuke said with a grin as he scratched the back of his head.

"Tet…su…"

"Hai! He told us this morning, we were pretty shocked too that you didn't want to tell us…I mean didn't you like the party we threw for Saitou?" Shinpachi asked with a sly grin.

"Hajime Saitou's birthday…the birthday that almost ended up as a massacre? Sure I'd want a party just like that! Oh wait, maybe even better!" Tatsu thought sarcastically.

"Ahhhh!!! When I get my hands on Tetsu he's going to…"

"Oi…oi…no need for violence, they're probably waiting for us at the inn." Sanosuke said as he grabbed the bookkeeper by the collar.

"They? Inn? Eh…what and where exactly are we going?"

"Well, seeing that Hajime's party wasn't that exciting…well except maybe for the part where everyone was intoxicated and started doing a reenactment of the Ikeda-ya incident…"

"Oi Shinpachi? You called that party fun? Hey you weren't the one who Hijikata forced to don on a black wig and pretend you were Yoshida" Sano said as he shuddered at the memories.

"Well just be thankful he passed out before he went serious on you…anyways Tatsu-kun we decided to throw you a party that'll be way better than Hajime's!"

"Eh…where exactly are we going again…"

"SHIMABARA HERE WE COME!!!!"

End of Flashback

"Drink up birthday boy, you only get to celebrate your day once a year!" Sano slurred as he poured another drink for himself.

"That won't be necessary…I've had two drinks already, why don't we call it a night?" Tatsu said trying to sound polite despite his urge to kill and murder Tetsu.

"Sanosuke's right Tatsunosuke-kun…drink and be merry…you're getting old so live life while your younger!" Kondou said with a hearty laugh as he poured another drink for his stoic vice-commander, who like Tatsu had been forced to come to Shimabara.

"Well…maybe your right…here's to me and another year!" Tatsu said joyously as the men around him cheered on.

"Make sure to drink enough so you won't remember a thing" Sano said with a grin.

So people, what do you think of my very weird story which by the way I'm creating before doing my homework. Anyways I hope you found it amusing or good and please review…and tell me what you think…don't flame…constructive criticism is welcome….