Disclaimer: I own HARRY POTTER! MUAHAHAHAH!!!! (I hope you know I'm joking)

Author's Note: Yay! I'm writing even more stories :D I gotta do my homework though... Anyways, enjoy!

Special Thanks to: Nehebka and Jules for the great ideas.

"A boy who knows my menstrual cycle? Oh! He knows me! He really knows me!" shrieked Hermione, in pure joy as she shoved a tampon between her legs.

In roughly 5 minutes, Hermione had apparated right in front of the Leaky Cauldron, dressed up as a tramp and ready for some action.

Hermione has been waiting for Harry in front of the Leaky Cauldron for about 32 second.

"Where in the name of Mae Potter is he?!" ranted Hermione, as she read her watch.

Coming from behind the nearby bookshop, Harry could be seen carrying a heavy load of school supplies. As he came closer to Hermione, he tripped and dropped all of his supplies on Hermione.

"Oops. Sorry about that!" whimpered Harry, fearing that Hermione will curse him into oblivion.

"How DARE you?! First, you rape the Dursleys when I was going to, then, you dump your GARBAGE all over me!" yelled Hermione, making a huge scene around them.

"Hermione... wait... NO!" screamed Harry, as Hermione tore his clothes off and started raping him violently.

It was a horrible sight, trust me. This was probably the most... well... let's just say the "bloodiest" rape yet. After all, Harry's privates were covered in both Hermione's menstrual blood and Harry's anal bleeding. You could also notice Hermione's used tampon lying on Harry's forehead. After concluding her actions, she got up, wiped her hands clean of her act and started kicking Harry's ribs.

"Take that, you filthy little plug of absorbent material inserted into a body cavity or wound to check a flow of blood or to absorb secretions, especially one designed for insertion into the vagina during menstruation!" screeched Hermione, in anger.

As Hermione walked away, she glanced at one of the books that were lying on the ground. It was called "Advanced Arithmancy". Hohmeegosh, he bought my books for me and this is what I did to him!, thought Hermione in regret, Oh well! Hermione picked up her books and left to go to towards her favourite store: Sexoholics' Tavern for Magical Sex Toys and Lubricants. However, as she got close to the store, she noticed Ron running right passed her, without any clothes on. What a terrible sight it was! Anyways, Hermione decided to run after him. After all, when a nude person runs past you, they always lead to some more sexual events. As she was chasing after him, Ron seemed to be going towards a place where no one would ever expect anything sexual at all: Ollivanders. Nevertheless, Hermione entered the store right after Ron. When she was inside, Ron didn't seem to be anywhere.

"Hello? Is anybody there?" said Hermione, eyeing every inch of the place.

After receiving not a single response, Hermione decided to enter the back room, where all the wands were located. She kicked the door open, to see endless shelves filled with small, thin boxes. Hermione took one of the boxes, expecting to find a wand inside. Instead of a wand, she found a rather large orange dildo.

"Uh?" uttered Hermione in confusion.

All of a sudden, she heard a noise coming from a couple shelves away. Hermione dropped the dildo and approached the location of where the noise came from. What she saw was perhaps that hottest, most spontaneous, and lubricated thing she ever saw in her life. What she saw was... was... Ah, I just want to keep you guys in suspense... Fine, I'll say it... What she saw was... Hold on, I have an itch... Ah, there. What I meant to say what that Hermione saw Mr. Ollivander raping Ginny Weasley on the floor using some of his finest wands. All you could see is sparks coming of each wand he would use and Ginny having orgasms after Mr. Ollivander used each wand. Oh, you wouldn't believe how much Hermione wanted to join in, but she just couldn't. Why couldn't she, you ask? Well, because... Well... I can't remember anymore... Slipped out of my mind... Uh... Well... I guess Hermione joined in that fabulous orgy as fast as she could. She, as always, tore her clothes off and ordered Mr. Ollivander to try some of his finest wands on her.

"Um... Excuse me? This is a private session. Now, goodbye!" said Mr. Ollivander in a rather bitchy manner.

Hermione was not going to take this. Never in her life had someone been so rude to her. She was going to do something about it and something BIG. Hermione put her clothes back on, not really paying attention to what she was doing. She ended up putting her mini skirt as a shirt and her tang top as a skirt. She did not care, for she was going to make Mr. Ollivander pay for what he did.

"I'd like to file for rape, please" said Hermione, standing in front of Magical Law Enforcement Office.

"And who would you like to file against?" said the quite unattractive secretary.

"Mr. Ollivander, owner of Ollivanders. I went into his store to ask for direction on how to get to Gringotts, but he pulled me into one of his traps. He tore my uterus apart using many of his expensive wands. I just got away after he dumped me into the trash. Oh, he also had an assistant! Ginny Weasley!" said Hermione, adding in some fake tears in between.

"Well, Miss Granger, that sounds highly unlikely—" started the secretary.

"Okay. Fine! WHO DO I HAVE TO SLEEP WITH TO GET SOME JUSTICE AROUND HERE?!" screamed Hermione, causing a huge scene in front of her counter.

"Miss Granger... Miss Granger! Shhhhh! I'll make sure he gets a punishment for what he has done as long as you just SHUT UP!" whispered the secretary, angrily.

"Thank you" said Hermione, as she stepped out of the room...