You Couldn't Have Said It Once?
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Summery: Even if it had saved my life, even if it had stopped the tears, you couldn't have said it once, not even for me.
Disclaimer: I so own Naruto. :3
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I figured this SasuSaku tribute would have a little more of a message than my last ones. This one has the lyrics to "Memorial Address" by Ayumi Hamasaki. Her songs are so original and beautiful I had to use this one. :3
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Tears fall, hitting random spots on the ground and running down her cheeks. She's lost and confused, but knows exactly where she is standing. He abandoned me here. She tells herself, gripping her hands tightly, sniffling quietly. Her eyes are puffed, her cheeks glisten a path of fallen tear drops. The moon's still there, but it did not hold her loved one back. The tears, such bitter tears of agony.
I remember I went to sleep late that night
Feeling uneasy and had a very sad dream
The dream flashed back into her head, replaying in a way she had expected it to. The room was still, a bed large with a green comforter and sheets to match, as well as pillow cases. The sun hit the window sill lightly, as she moved a hand to cover her eyes. Letting out a grunt of displeasure from the brightness, the hand moved into her ruffled hair, running through it self consciously. Suddenly the phone began to ring and she jolted forward, knowing the peaceful silence was forever broken.
The phone started to ring in the morning,
Breaking the silence and the premonition became a reality.
She winced, wanting to forget the rest of the dream, though it would probably plague her mind for the rest of her life or until she had him back in her arms, safely to cradle forever more. Her eyes continued to fill with tears, letting them leak out either slowly or quickly, however they came. She lifted her hand, letting it fall on her heart. A beat was still there, but it was soft…like some one had cut it with a knife.
Leaving an unfading scar on my heart
You became a star by yourself.
Her eyes lifted, to see the moon was looking back, but its beauty did not faze her. No, it was the stars surrounding it. They were hard to see from the water droplets that couldn't cease around her eyes, but they were there. The moon was the biggest, but the one star she was staring at shined the most. He left me to be on my own… She told herself, clutching the cloth that covered her heart tightly, the pain of slow beats never leaving.
Sayonara – You have gone to the place
Where we can never meet again
"Why?" She croaked out finally, her throat dry. Nobody was there to answer her, so she continued to ponder in the dark. Why was it that he had to go? Why couldn't he have taken her…? Why…What was the purpose of all this? It was almost like he died and she would never see him again.
I can't accept the pain of eternal parting…
So many questions ran through her mind, she couldn't grasp on to one and hold it tightly. Letting them run through, she understood that she would never understand his reasoning. Her face dropped down, seeing the stains of her tears on the concrete.
I wish I could have heard from you
That I had certainly been loved by you
Only once, even if it had been a lie.
She wondered if her love had been a waste, if he never really cared. The things he said to her had never been kind, but at least when he said them he meant them. So why…Why couldn't he say he loved her and give her what she needed most, give her hope. It's all I wanted…To be loved and accepted by him. To know he cared for me the same way I did him…
A few years later…
A smile was spread across her face as she ran to the gate of Konohagakure. "Naruto! Come on, we're going to get him today!" She looked up and saw the sun smiling down at her, feeling its warm rays dance upon her skin.
The sorrow I though to be endless
Came to an end
She felt stronger, happier…More like herself than ever before. The boy finally reached her, grinning widely. "Sorry, Sakura-chan. I though Kakashi-sensei was coming, but he's got a different mission." She gave him a small nod, walking out the gates. Each step against the dirt path made her smile seem brighter and the sun even warmer.
The season has changed, I feel bitterly cold…
She shivered slightly as a wind blew by, feeling it run up her spin some how. "Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked, looking at her slightly confused. She shook her head, still smiling. "It's nothing, Naruto. I was just having a flash back." She stated, trying to show she was as strong as she wanted to be and not let the pain of the other man's betrayal resurface.
I will never forget the first day of summer
The sky kept on weeping instead of me this year.
Naruto nodded, softly smiling at her. "Hey, Sakura-chan, it still hurts me that Sasuke left…but I no longer feel my heart cry at the thought." He whispered quietly, though she heard every word. "I know, Naruto. Finally, my tears have stopped as well….but the clouds are probably still in pain, with all the rain this year." He laughed softly, "But, the rain is good, right?"
I feel as if I were living in the continuation
Of the dream…
She paused mid-step, looking down at the ground as the dream she had two years ago flashed into her head, it was the part she told herself to forget.
"Hello?" She questioned into the phone, her voice shaky. "Excuse me, Sakura-chan…" It was Naruto's voice…She let out a sigh of relief. "Oh, Naruto. You startled me. I thought something bad happened, what is it?" She heard a gulp come from the boy's throat, her eyes widening with fear. "N-Naruto!?" She waited, until his voice piped up again. "It…It's Sasuke…He left Konoha last night for Sound. He may never return Sakura-chan." She suddenly felt her eyes fill with tears and her throat go raw. "W-why?" She whispered into the receiver, her voice cracking as she spoke.
And I can't even cry now…
"The rain is purity, Naruto." She replied when she noticed the look of worry on his face. He gave her one of his famous smiles, replying, "Yeah! Now let's go bring Sasuke back!" A wide smile creased into her features as she replied, "Even if we have to break every bone in his body."
Sayonara- Even my last words don't
Reach you…
They came back without their avenger, but she didn't seem the least bit upset. "Sakura-chan, are you sure you're alright?" The man asked, trying to comfort her. "Yes. I'll understand if I never get to tell him I meant how I felt that night, some words aren't going to reach the person you want them to." She smiled softly, walking to the Hokage tower to file her report.
I'm made to realize the coldness of eternal parting
A small frown formed onto her face, as she left to go home. Even if we are forever apart, Sasuke…I love you. She told herself, continuing down the busy roads. Even if you never see me again, I love you…Sasuke…
I wish I could have heard from you…
That you never regretted the days we spent together…
Only once, even if it had been a lie
I wonder do you regret leaving here and staying with Orochimaru. Were the days we spent together a waste of time on your part? I wish I could hear the answers from you…even if you have to lie, but then again…you never did spare me the pain.
Why did you do it this way?
Leaving memories only to the very end?
So many questions would forever be left unanswered, but she understood that. She accepted he could never love her, even if she never got her reason. Perhaps he was just broken, but if only she could have heard it once, she would have loved it…Even if it had been a lie.
Sayonara- You have gone to the place where we can never meet again…
I can't accept the pain of eternal parting…
I wish I could have heard from you
That I had certainly been loved by you
Only once, even if it had been a lie…
She entered her apartment, settling herself down on the couch. Clasping her hands together, she felt tears in her eyes. I thought they were finally gone… She told herself, feeling one roll down her cheek. I though…they had finally left me to rest in peace.
Please tell me this is only the story of the continuing dream…
And that I'm not awake yet…
Wow, I broke down crying when I reread this. ;-; I'm such a sucker for Ayumi's songs. Hopefully you all enjoyed this. R&R.
-Sobbinglikemad.