One month later

"Let's go to the holodeck, come on!" Tom called excitedly. The tension between him and B'Elanna had appeased over the last couple of days. She had agreed to get to know Voyager better. Nevertheless, once in a while Tom wasn't surprised to catch her wearing a worried, even a sad look, and he figured that it wouldn't need a psychologist to find out that she was thinking about herself; about who she was and where she had come from.

"What program do you want to run today, Tom?" she asked while laying the fork on her plate. The two were sitting in the mess hall having dinner together. Tom had just finished his shift and B'Elanna was happy every time her routine was varied. She didn't want to complain about her life on Voyager so far but there weren't many things she could do during the shifts of the senior officers.

"It's a Hawaiian beach we'll go to." Tom said while remembering the time the whole crew had been engaged in a Hawaiian ritual called luau for the first time. It had been shortly before he and B'Elanna had confessed their love to each other and he could still remember B'Elanna's successful attempt to make him envious by having dinner with Ensign Vorik, who by that time was unhappily falling in love with the Chief Engineer. This time, however, Tom hadn't invited their friends.

"Will Harry come, too? The more people will come the more fun it will be, don't you think?"

No, he didn't think so; he didn't agree, he knew he was being impatient and breaking the commitment he had given her a couple of weeks ago; not to expect too much from her, not pushing her but letting her be what she was; a woman without an origin, a woman who had to seek her own identity. He knew he wasn't fair to her and still he had the feeling that he could do no better than that, he missed his B'Elanna so terribly. It was wearing him out to look straight into her face while noticing the B'Elanna he knew wasn't there right now; as if she had been chased away by evil demons.

"You know, I thought we could spend a little time alone..."

"I'm sorry Tom, but I don't think spending time alone with you would be a good idea."

This statement went to his core. He had been pushed away. A month had passed and they hadn't made any progress as far as their personal relationship was concerned. Several days ago, he had shown her Voyager, every part of it, even the smallest corridors. When she didn't even react to seeing the mighty blue of the warp core he had realized that he had underestimated the long way to remembering, and that it would be hard for them both. His optimism was still there but dammit it was fading already. He had never been good at waiting.

"Alright!" he said as if defeated. "...I'll ask Harry and some.."

"Red alert! All hands to battle stations!" Janeway barked over the commline.

"We'll talk later about it," Tom promised, while hurrying up to get to the bridge as fast as possible.

/\

She didn't think she would ever see them again. Janeway was terrified. She knew what this species was capable of doing . Hell, she had seen what they had done to their Chief Engineer . The Ratans were back. And this time it wouldn't be that easy to escape. If she had to judge, she'd say that their phasers and torpedoes were about two times more powerful than Voyager's . According to Tuvok the hostile race hadn't detected them; at least not yet. She saw Tom stepping onto the bridge and she automatically tensed. She didn't know how her pilot would react to seeing the species that had destroyed his life several weeks ago. As for herself, she hadn't figured out a plan yet. This species was dangerous, as well as technically advanced.

/\

Tom was shocked. Extremely shocked. He stood there frozen to the spot, not knowing how to react. He felt angry. Nervous. Frightened. He even felt betrayed, betrayed by his own feelings that the encounters with that race weren't over but just beginning. A sudden beginning that he hadn't expected, as he had felt safe after getting B'Elanna back to the ship. And then his feelings turned out to be wrong. He felt ashamed. Ashamed of his trivial problems; his impatience with B'Elanna when he should be happy for just having saved her. All these emotions came crashing down on him. He went to his station when suddenly an idea came into his mind.

"Captain, may I talk to you in private?