Between Face and a Slytherin Head of House, the Muggle shopkeepers they visited never stood a chance at not being scammed out of their merchandise. As they crossed item after item off their shopping list, Snape turned to the blonde man.
"A peculiar nickname," he commented, "how did you acquire it?"
"In Nam," Face said, "I could scam my way out of anything if I pulled an innocent enough face. At least, until I met Hannibal. Don't think anyone else ever saw through it."
"A Slytherin," Snape felt a sudden burst of sympathy for the man.
"If I had been a wizard, and living in England, and going to Hogwarts, probably," Face shrugged. "But then I wouldn't have had to look after myself for so long, from the orphanage on, and I probably wouldn't have learned the skills I have now."
"The Dark Lord grew up in an orphanage as well," Snape mused.
"Yeah, well, I am not really surprised. I've seen kids like that in the orphanage, especially when they were brought in as babies. In my last place it wasn't so bad because the nuns were there, you know – some stayed for twenty or thirty years. But in other places where there were different people all the time, some kids went bad. Wouldn't learn to play with others. Some became bullies. Of course, they never had magic at their disposal. That Voldemort fellow of yours – sounds like a case of attachment disorder gone horribly wrong. Excuse me for saying it, but your world is even more insane than ours, arming eleven year olds with lethal weapons without anyone ever checking to see if they are healthy enough, mentally, to deal with that."
Snape said nothing, mostly because he could not disagree with the man.
"Anyway, the name they gave me in the orphanage is Templeton Peck."
"With a name like that you would certainly fit into the wizarding world," Severus Snape sneered slightly sarcastic.
"Undoubtedly," Face nodded, completely unfazed, "shall we get the rest of our shopping done?"
ssssssssssss
The Dark Lord Voldemort appeared on the windy field with a small battalion of Death Eaters. Half of them on brooms to scout for the Order, half of them on the ground to protect their master. Wormtail briefly wondered why their master, as the greatest wizard of the age (he said so himself) needed the protection of underlings that never lived up to his expectations, but decided it was probably hazardous to his health to utter questions like that out loud.
Or even think them too loud.
"Where are they?" the abomination hissed, "just like Potter to chicken out…"
"No chickening out here, Tommy," Harry taunted, standing a good fifty feet away from them.
"AVADA KEDAVRA!" For once, the Dark Lord decided not to waste time with any villains expositions or pleasantries before battle, but go for the kill.
To the immense surprise of the Death Eaters, the curse went straight through Harry Potter, who still smiled happily.
"What magic is this?" Voldemort wondered, "Wormtail. Now."
The rat changed into…well, a rat, and scurried over to Harry. After a slight nibble at his feet, Wormtail changed back.
"It is not him, my Lord. It is a …I do not quite understand." He waved his hand through Harry, showing how it went straight through him as well.
"A ghost! Harry Potter is dead!" murmurs went through the ranks of Death Eaters.
"He is not. I would have felt it," Voldemort silenced them. "POTTER! Where are you?"
"Here," Harry Potter flickered into existence next to Voldemort, who jumped and let out an undignified yelp.
"Here."
"Here."
"Here."
All over the field, Harry Potters were appearing. The Death Eaters were panicking and started to run and fire off curses at random Harry Potters, but only succeeded in taking out over a quarter of their own numbers on the ground before Voldemort managed to get them back under control.
"Come out here and fight like a man, Potter!" he screamed.
Suddenly a strange sound above them made them look up. At a very high speed, a strange contraption approached, and calls of "YEEEHAAAWWW" were heard. It was truly frightening.
The Death Eaters in the sky attempted to duck out of the way and were forced to scatter or fall from their brooms.
Several did not manage to avoid the crazy person and plummeted to the ground. One of them landed in a broken heap at Voldemorts feet. Another Death Eater on the ground was not so lucky. HIS colleague landed right on top of him.
Luckily for Voldemort, Bellatrix, while completely insane, did retain a modicum of common sense.
"Point me Harry Potter!" she yelled in the chaos that had erupted. Her wand pointed to a rock formation a little further on.
"AH! Well done, Bella."
Voldemort strode towards the rock. "Reducto!"
Harry had anticipated this and shielded in time to protect himself from the debris. "Hi Tom," he waved.
"AVADA…KWUK."
Voldemorts attempt at the curse was thwarted by one of his Death Eaters bashing a rock against his skull. Unfortunately, it took a little more effort to kill the snake-man than that, but it did give Harry time to regroup.
"Snape," Voldemort said, his voice low and threatening, "you!"
"Yes, me," Snape Apparated away before the Crucio hit him.
The aircraft kept pestering the Death Eaters in the sky, and now on the ground a similar steel construction emerged, roaring wildly. A large dark man sat inside while two others stood on top, manning tubes with fire coming out. Snape hang from the side, throwing curses at everyone he could see. Harry Potter had disappeared again, but quickly emerged to throw curses at the Dark Lord.
Voldemort panicked. The battle was going ill for him. Fending off Harry's curses and countering with his own, he motioned to his Death Eaters.
"Regroup! Regroup!"
The vehicle now found a line of shielded wizards against it, and the curses forced Snape to retreat inside. Harry ran to the vehicle and jumped in. The firesticks on the roof blasted away, but the Reducto and Bombarda curses of the Death Eaters damaged the device seriously.
Finally, it stopped moving. Just as Voldemort smiled in triumph, a Death Eater still in the sky screamed in panic.
"THEY ARE HERE! MY LORD! DUMBLEDORE IS HERE!"
The Order of the Phoenix, having Apparated in seconds before, ran onto the battlefield and now the Death Eaters found themselves stuck between the immobile but still shooting vehicle in front and the entire Order at their backs.
Harry jumped out. "Surrender now!" he called out, "and we'll have mercy."
Several Death Eaters already lowered their wands, but Voldemort was having none of it.
Then from each side, a person ran up. A bushy haired woman from the right, and a redheaded man from the left.
It was only then that Voldemort noticed that Harry Potter in front of him was not a boy. This was a grown man.
"Potter…" he hesitated. "What happened to you?"
"None of your business, Tom," Harry calmly replied. Hermione and Ron raised their wands as well.
"I will kill you. And anyone allied to you. Including that traitor!" Voldemort flashed his wand at Snape, who saw the curse coming his way and knew it would be fatal. Before he could react, however, a hand grabbed him by his collar and drug him back into the van.
"Now, didn't your momma tell you not to play with the lights?" Face grinned at him as the curse flew past and evaporated a rock a little further down.
Voldemort raised his wand again, and Harry was ready. The curses they threw were beyond anything either Death Eaters or Order members had ever seen and it was clear that Voldemort stood no chance against the obviously powerful young man.
The end came as an anticlimax to many. Harry, Ron and Hermione started casting together, Harry a split second after the others. Two curses flew towards Voldemort, straight through his shields. The third followed through the hole the other two had made.
Voldemort fell to the ground with an undignified splat.
In the silence that followed, Hannibal turned to Dumbledore and offered him a cigar.
"I love it when a plan comes together."
sssssssssssss
sssssssssssssss
"What are you going to do now?" Dumbledore asked the three.
"We aren't sure yet. Travel a bit, perhaps. Take a holiday. We do not feel particularly inclined to stay here, though undoubtedly we will visit often."
The Headmasters office was full of people who came to see the three heroes off. Seven heroes, actually, counting the A Team.
Severus Snape entered, a bag in his hand.
"Are you leaving us too, Severus?" Dumbledore asked sadly.
"I can hardly stay here," Snape replied, "I hate teaching, the wizarding world would never fully accept me again and I am rather looking forward to going with these delinquents."
Face gave him a pleased smirk.
"I am rather looking forward to the tricks I can pick up from him," Snape shrugged.
"Hey, magic is cool and all, but not for us," BA said, "but I was glad you fixed up my van real quick."
Flitwick smiled and said 'you're welcome'.
"I'm going to hang out here for a bit," Murdock announced, "take a holiday. Miss Lovegood invited me to come with her father and herself to hunt for Snorkacks, and I happen to know just the hunting ground…"
Harry grinned. "Happy hunting, Murdock. We will see you soon."
He turned to the Headmaster.
"Remember, Headmaster – if you are in trouble, and no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the A Team!"
The End.