Disclaimer: I do not own Danny Phantom

Warnings: To be taken with a huge pinch of salt. Because we all know how much of a lady killer Vlad actually is;)

Romance For Rich Creepy Dimwits

Playing It Cool

Now that you have the love of your life hot and hungry, it is time to feign disinterest. What is seemingly unattainable is always immensely more attractive. Hopefully, you have managed to impress her with your immaculate table manners and cultured knowledge of Italian cuisine.

Your skill in the art of conversation is sure to have enraptured her, especially after having to put up with the daily nonsensical ramblings of her husband. She is sure to be appreciative of the intelligent conversation. In fact, she may be starting to wonder why she had even married that oaf in the first place. There will be opportunities to nurse those seeds of doubt in her mind, but not yet. For now, your main objective is to secure a second date.

After the glowing success of your first date, she is sure to believe that you are very popular with the ladies. Encourage that assumption. If she tries to call, have your butler tell her that you are out on another date at the country club, playing polo or something else equally noble. Nothing fuels the kindling passion of love quite like the fires of jealousy.

Refrain from calling her the moment you return from your first date. You are sure to have had a good time, but there is no reason to tell her that immediately. Remember that you are playing her hot and cold. She has to realise that she is going to have to work hard to secure you, especially since you are no longer the man you used to be. That ship has sailed.

You have to ensure that is she that comes to you, not the other way round. Perhaps you could agree to host many public events, to ascertain that your face is on television as much as possible. This will make sure that she is constantly forced to think about you and acknowledge the fatal error in judgment she made when she chose to spurn you all those years ago.

As much as it may hurt you to ignore her calls, do not put the poor woman out of her misery. The love of your life has to realise that she has to act fast, or she will lose you forever to one of those posh floozies she believes you are dating.

Perhaps you should begin keeping tabs on your future son. If you are to adopt him in the near future, you will need to know everything about him. From his grades, to his friends, interests and hobbies. Or even if he shares his future father's impeccable taste in women. Do not be surprised if he has a girlfriend. The youth of America are now beginning to date at a ridiculously young age. It does not matter that you, on the other hand, have never had a girlfriend. It is merely a generation gap.

Also, now may be a good time to start practicing those "come hither" looks in the mirror. You may require those bedroom eyes in the near future.

Do not be disappointed if she does not call. You are obviously far too devastatingly handsome, and have intimidated her, as you are out of her league. She is evidently waiting for you to make the first move. Do not give in. You will stand your ground. Love is the greatest battle you will ever fight, and we assure you that it will be worth it.

Finally, after denying her the joy of your presence for a week, send her a bouquet of wild, red roses requesting her company on a second date. Rather than sending the flowers to her home, which would arouse the suspicion of her husband, send the flowers to her workplace.

She is sure to accept your invitation. After all, what woman wouldn't?

Author's Notes: Please don't kill me. I love Vlad, really.

Many thanks to my great reviewers: Morbid Ice Dan Phantom, WisdomofInsanity, kia, Danny Phantom PhanaticSasia93, WTFWonder, Yami-chan and UnrealisticJessica01gothangel12345, 'loha, cariadioraruaHenshi-anichanMrs.Masters, cera meia, yuuki and Koccinelle.

Thanks for reading!

Twisted Creampuff