This is a rip-off-- er, I mean, homage to "Kim Possible" and Conan O'Brien's "Secrets" series of sketches.
This will be an ongoing bit as on LNwCO featuring K.P. and other characters.
Disclaimer: "Celebrity Secrets" belongs to "Late Night With Conan O'Brien" and NBC.
Kim Possible belongs to NBC/Universal Studios.
Possible! Secrets.
by Kimron Posstoppable
Rating: PG-13
Conan: Sometimes we at "Late Night" can get celebrities to sit down and tell us their deepest secrets. It's really disturbing stuff. This time, we got a well-known crimefighter to spill her guts. Take a look.
(Cut to: Kim Possible sitting what looks like an interrogation room. Kim There is a bottle of milk and a glass of milk in front of her. She is in her "classic" mission clothes and copping as much of an OOC 'tude as she can.)
Announcer: (Shouted) Possible! (whispered) Secrets.
Kim: My motto is "I can do anything." (mischievous look; raised eyebrow) And I do mean anything. I'll baby-sit, help you wash your car, take down despotic dictators... Anything. (pauses thinks for a moment) Except... I will not help you move. Gotta draw the line somewhere.
Announcer: (whispered) Secrets.
Kim: Contrary to what some of you fanboys and fangirls think, I have not, nor have I ever crushed on Shego. I hate her and she hates me. Plus, I like guys. (takes a sip of milk, muttering) Well, maybe if I was really drunk... (shakes her head; still muttering but loud enough for audience to hear) No. No, no, no. Not even then.
Announcer: (whispered) Secrets.
Kim: I've had a lot of head injuries. My mom says that it's a wonder I don't have brain damage. (long pause) I've had a lot of head injuries. My mom says that it's a wonder I don't have brain damage.
Announcer: (whispered) Secrets.
Kim: I've heard that some people think I'm (air-quotes) "too perfect" and that I think I'm better than everyone else. I just want tell everyone who thinks that just one thing. (leans forward with a smirk) It's true. I save the world on a regular basis with my kick-ass sweetheart of a boyfriend, got a super-smart family and friends who love me and have my back, I've been to almost every continent on the planet, I've been in space, and on top of all that, I'm hot!
Kim: (stands; becomes increasingly belligerent) So yeah, suck it, losers. I am better than you. What of it? You want a piece of me? Bring it!
Announcer: (Shouted) Possible! (whispered) Secrets.
I tweaked this a bit. It better suits the tone of the rest of the "Secrets", I think.
A cookie for those of you who can tell how this chapter changed. :) Hopefully, it's a change for the better.