Author's Note: Well, it's sure been a while…

This chapter has, to put it lightly, been something of a nightmare to get together. I lost interest, neglected it for a while, almost finished it but then somehow deleted all progress, lost most of my notes, got side-tracked with other writing projects... Well, a lot of things got in the way, basically.

It's now been, what, a year? Oh well, better late then never! And I know all my loyal fans have of course waited eagerly for this update all this time.

-looks around, listening to chirping crickets-

...Right? o.O

Chapter VI: Lion and Dragon: Ryoga vs Whiskey!

"Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge."

-Paul Gaugin

Ryoga woke up early that morning, and in a brief moment of disorientation he wondered where he was. Had he gotten lost again?

The sound of two people snoring –one deep and rumbling, the other light and effeminate– made him remember. He was in the Tendo guest room. Looking to his side he saw that large, fuzzy shade of Saotome Genma, giant panda-bear version, curled up by the wall. Between them, sprawled across her futon in a very unladylike manner, lay Ranma in female form. A thin sliver of drool had started to run down her cheek from her wide-open mouth.

Ryoga knew the two of them occasionally slept in their cursed forms, but he wasn't sure why. He thought back to the previous evening. Ranma had… Ranma had been thrown into the koi pond, he recalled, for something he had said –or possibly done– to Akane. Ranma had been unwilling to talk about it, but had managed to take some of her frustrations out on her father. Ryoga wondered if this type of thing happened regularly.

Ranma stirred and rolled over on her belly, coming to face him. Lifting her head to rest on her hand, she gave him a sleepy smile. "Mornin'."

"Good morning," Ryoga said. "Slept well?"

"Mmmmyeah," Ranma murmured. She sat up and yawned, reaching her arms towards the ceiling. "Today's the big day, huh?"

"Yeah," Ryoga said, nodding. They had agreed that he would spend the night and follow Ranma and Akane to school that morning. For once, he intended to be on time for his duel.

"Aowrr?" Genma, awakened by their voices, sat up and yawned.

"So," Ranma said to Ryoga, "wanna spar some before breakfast?"

Genma whipped up a sign from out of nowhere: Hey, what about me?

"Why bother?" Ranma asked dryly. "You're already a panda."

Genma whacked her over the head with the sign.

Ryoga watched the girl and the panda quarrel and found himself smiling at the bizarre scene. It's funny, he thought, what you can get used to in a place like this.

A few minutes later, the two of them were trading blows and kicks by the pond outside the house. Ranma had changed out of her pyjamas and into her regular clothes, but was still a girl. Ryoga had to remind himself to hold back; like always, Ranma was noticeable weaker in this shape. Today this suited her needs, though, since it gave her a good excuse not to pull her punches. Ryoga winced as he caught a particularly hard body blow. He instinctualy countered with fast kick that hit Ranma in the stomach, knocking her off her feet.

"Hey!" she said, after catching her breath. "That hurt, you big bully!"

"Damn, I-I'm sorry," Ryoga said, just before noticing the grin on Ranma's face. "…Hey!"

"Kicking a girl with your full strength like that," Ranma carried on. "Why, that's no way for a gentleman to behave!" She humphed and crossed her arms. Then she felt the wet, burning sensation of hot water suddenly being poured on her head.

"You're one to talk, Ranma," Akane said and lowered the kettle she had brought with her. "Now stop teasing poor Ryoga like that."

Ranma, now male again, looked up at his fiancé. He scratched his head and let up a goofy laugh. Akane rolled her eyes, but Ryoga relaxed and dared a smile of his own. Only a couple of weeks ago, he would have gotten upset and probably clobbered Ranma for trying to pull a stunt like that. Those days felt so distant to him now.

The sliding doors opened and Kasumi stuck her head out. "Breakfast is ready now, you three."

Ranma jumped to his feet, more or less bounding for the kitchen. "Oh boy!" Akane and Ryoga followed him in a slightly more collected manner.

When seeing Ranma in such an energetic and cheerful mood, it was hard to imagine he left the hospital only a few days earlier. Ryoga himself felt better about his life then ever before, but he still came off as glum and brooding; at least compared to Ranma. Perhaps the pigtailed martial artist was just glad to be restored to his full health, though Ryoga suspected that it might also have something to do with the fact that he now had one less fiancé to worry about.

As usual when it came to Kasumi's cooking, breakfast was delicious. Ryoga complimented her, but earned only the usual smile.

Overall, Ryoga had been surprised at how forgiving the Tendos had been to him. He had almost expected to find himself unwelcome the household after what he did to Ranma.

Never the less, there were small signs everywhere that made Ryoga suspect things still weren't all right between them. Kasumi was an angel as usual, but now there was a sort of sadness behind the smile –and maybe just a bit of fear? Nabiki ignored him for the most part and only seemed to acknowledge his existence when she really had to. Soun treated him with respect, since Ryoga was still a guest in his house, but at the same time it was clear to see how uneasy it made him.

Genma kept his usual attitude, though. Then again, Genma was always Genma.

Of course, Ranma was completely oblivious to all of this. "Hey, Ryoga? Earth to P-Chan?"

"Huh?" Ryoga realised he'd been lost in his thoughts. He blushed slightly at hearing his nickname. "Don't call me that."

"Whatever," Ranma said. "So, how you gonna beat that China guy today?"

"Well, I was thinking I'd try violence," Ryoga replied dryly.

Ranma chuckled. "Yeah, that should do the trick."

"Just as long as you teach that jerk some manners," Akane said. "I don't think I've ever met anyone in more need of them then that barbarian."

"Now, now, Akane," Soun said, giving her a sharp glance. "I understand that he was rude to you, but that's no excuse to talk like that about a foreigner."

"Yeah, ethnic slurs don't really become you, Akane," Nabiki said and winked.

Akane sweatdropped. "Ah, no, you don't understand. He literally a…"

"Sweeto! What a haul!"

They all froze as they recognised this familiar cry of ardour. Their hearts filled with terror and despair, for they knew what would come next. And sure enough, the very next moment a small, purple-clad figure bounced in through the still wide open slide-doors.

Happosai, ancient grandmaster of the Musabetsu Kakuto Ryu, rampant kleptomaniac and overall incurable pervert, had decided to grace them with a visit.

The tiny old man landed on top of Ranma's head. "Good morning everyone!" he greeted. Then he bent down, looking into Ranma's enraged face. "Why, Ranma, my boy! Can't help but noticing you're not very female today. I better find some cold water for you."

"No thanks. I just got changed back," Ranma growled with every bit of patience he could muster. "Now why don't you GET LOST, OLD MAN!?" He aimed a punch to the spot just above his head that said old man had occupied, but Happosai had already jumped off and landed on the floor next to him.

"Aw, for shame!" Happosai said and produced a plain blue bra from behind his back. "And I was going to let you try out this beauty, too!"

"Ha! Like I'd be caught dead wearing that silly thing," Ranma said.

Meanwhile, Akane stared at the sky-coloured undergarment. "Is… Is that my bra!?"

"But of course!" Happosai seemed thoroughly disappointed. "That's why I thought he'd like it! Now Ranma, why don't you be a good boy and become a girl for uncle Happosai, so we can…"

WHAM!

The rest of the question was left unspoken as Ranma punted him like a football out through the open door.

"That stupid little thing wouldn't even fit me, you twisted monkey!" Ranma yelled after him. It took him a full two seconds to realise he probably should have worded it differently.

"Raaannmaaaa…"

Clenching her fists, Akane shook with barely contained fury. Soun, Nabiki and Kasumi quickly grabbed their plates and glasses, lifting them off the table. Almost on instinct, Ryoga hurried to do the same.

"Dammit," Ranma said, just as Akane picked the table up and flattened him with it.

It was about then that Happosai returned with the cat.

Later, two girls and a boy hurried towards Furinkan High. One of the girls was still rather damp.

"Geez, what a morning," Ranma said. "I really thought I'd get to take it easy today."

"Careful, you might be loosing your edge," Akane half-joked. Her previous anger was gone, replaced by the concern of being late for school.

Armed with one of the big, lazy house cats that inhabited the neighbourhood, Happosai had amused himself by chasing Ranma around all over the grounds. The chase had ended with Akane's hammer being introduced to the old man's head, but not before Ranma had ended up half-naked in the pond again. Due to this ordeal, they were now dangerously close to being tardy.

"Does this kind of thing happen to you a lot?" Ryoga asked.

"Pretty much on a weekly basis," Ranma said.

"Less this last month, though," Akane noted.

"Wow," Ryoga said. He'd known that random insanity followed Ranma around –he had been the random insanity on more then a few occasions– but he had never really stopped to consider it before. Ranma's problems had always seemed so minor compared to his own, after all. "That's gotta be tough."

"Well, it's amazing what you can get used to," Ranma said. "Anyway, at least now I can be sure I won't be splashed along the way."

"Why would you be…"

Splash!

"Does that answer you question?"

"Bweee!"

Ranma looked at the ladle lady, who cheerfully went on with her business as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Actually, in a certain sense, nothing had. "How does she…? Why does she…?" Ranma shook his head, and suddenly noticed that Akane was staring at Ryoga. The black piglet was sitting in a pile of clothes, looking awkward.

"Um, are you okay, Akane?" Ranma asked.

"Hm?" Akane looked up at him. "Oh, it's just… I've never actually seen him transform before."

"Oh," Ranma said, no really sure how to respond.

Fortunately Akane seemed to snap out of it. "Oh, dammit! Ranma, we don't have time for this! We've got to hurry!"

"What about…?" Ranma began, but Akane had already snatched Ryoga into her arms. "You grab his clothes! Come on!" she said and started running.

"Geez," Ranma sighed. She scooped up the discarded garments and followed Akane.

Ryoga's tiny body was pressed against Akane's bossum. He felt her pulsing heart and her breath on his neck. He struggled somewhat, wanting to tell her: I can run on my own! I can keep up! Don't worry, I'm faster then I look! Be she either didn't notice or didn't care.

Finally, he gave in and surrendered to her embrace. Just like old times, he thought with an inward sigh. No one ever said it was going to be easy, after all.

Despite their best efforts, the lesson had already started when they arrived. Miss Hinako was writing on the blackboard as they skidded in through the door. The childlike teacher lowered her chalk and placed her hands on her hips. "Tendo-san and Saotome-san, you are both eight minutes late," she said.

"Sorry, Miss Hinako," Akane said with a quick bow. "We were delayed."

Hinako's eyes fell on Ryoga and she squealed: "Oh my gosh! What a cute piggy! Can I hold him?"

"Well..." Akane said, but Hinako had already skipped up to her and more or less pried the piglet out of her arms. "You're such a cutey-wutey, aren't you?" she said, holding him up before her face. "Tendo-san, is this your pig?"

"Well, actually..." Akane sweatdropped.

"Yes it is," Yuka spoke up from her desk on the front row.

"Yeah," her friend Sayuri piped in, "That's P-Chan, isn't it?"

For a moment, Akane was torn between the options of lying to the entire class, including her two best friends, or humiliating Ryoga by revealing his secret. "...Yes. Yes, yes, that's P-Chan," she finally said. So this is what Ranma had to go through?

"You're so adorable, yes you are!" Hinako cooed to Ryoga, who was obviously feeling very uncomfortable. Then, seemingly remembering where she was, she looked at Ranma and Akane. "Oh, that's right. Tendo-san, take five minutes with the buckets in the hallway for late arrival. Saotome, you take ten. Because," she added sharply as Ranma opened her mouth to protest this injustice, "I have already told you I don't want you dressing up as a girl in my class."

Ranma closed her mouth and glared. Miss Hinako was well-aware of the nature of the curse –she was no stranger to shapeshifting herself– yet she persisted to refer to it as "dressing up," which really annoyed Ranma. Even worse, she strongly suspected that annoying her was the whole point. But since she tried to avoid conflicts with the pseudo-vampiric teacher whenever possible, she let it rest.

"Um, what about... P-Chan?" Akane dared to ask.

"Oh, don't worry!" Hinako said, cheerfully giving her a thumb's up. "He's in good hands."

When hearing this, Ryoga panicked. Oh, hell no! I ain't spending the whole lesson in the hands of this crazy woman! Struggling out of her grip, he squealed and leapt for freedom, not really caring where he landed.

He ended up on one of the desks. He had only barely drawn a sigh of relief when he felt two new hands pick him up, and suddenly he was staring into the smiling face of a cute girl with a ponytail.

"Well, hello there, P-Chan," Sayuri said. "Did you want to say hello to little Sayuri-chan, hmm?"

"Oh, can I hold him next?" Yuka said, leaning over her own desk to have a better look.

Two rows away, Hiroshi and Daisuke exchanged looks that clearly said: Girls! What is it with them and pigs, anyway?

The unfamiliar amounts of female attention stunned Ryoga only for a moment. Then he leapt out of Sayuri's hands, passed Yuka's surprised face, bounced off her desk and landed on top of Gosunkugi Hikaru's head. From there he launched himself into the air again, desperately aiming for Akane. "Bweeeee!"

Ranma snatched him out of the air before he reached his target. "Gotcha!" Holding him by the bandanna, she placed Ryoga on her shoulder and turned to her fiancé. "Come now, Akane. Those buckets aren't going to hold themselves."

Hinako pouted. "Aww! Bring the piggy back when you're done!" she called after them.

"You know," Ranma said once they were alone in the hallway, "I think Hinako has been getting more mature lately."

"Really?" Akane said. "I can't say I've noticed."

"Hm." Ranma shrugged. "Maybe it's just my imagination, then?" Still with Ryoga on her shoulder, she started walking down the corridor.

"Where are you going?" Akane asked.

"To find some hot water for myself and Pig-Boy here," Ranma replied, pointing her thumb at Ryoga. "He's got a fight today, after all. He'll need to look his best."

A few minutes later Ryoga was sitting naked and human on the floor of a storage room.

"Here," Ranma said and tossed him the bundle of clothes. She then raised the kettle over her head and poured the remaining hot water over herself, turning from female to male before his eyes. "You know, considering how popular P-Chan is with girls, I don't see why you're so worried about this coming out." He winked. "It may just do wonders to your social life."

"I don't expect you to understand," Ryoga said. "But thanks anyway. Won't you get in trouble for this, though?"

"Nah, it's Hinako we're talking about," Ranma said. "By now she's probably forgotten I even showed up in the first place."

"Still, thank you," Ryoga said. He had just finished pulling his shirt on and gave Ranma one of his rare smiles. They were still few and far in between, but they were always sincere.

Amazingly, this seemed to fluster Ranma somewhat. "Well, try not to go all mushy on me, now. Otherwise you won't be any challenge when we have our rematch."

Ryoga's eyes narrowed. "About that, Ranma..."

"Oh, that's right!" Ranma exclaimed, pretending not to hear him. "I should probably show you the way to the sporting field just in case. Don't want you getting lost again, right?"

There it was again. The nervousness, the way he changes the subject... Ranma was hiding something from him, Ryoga was sure of that now. Something to do with that rematch. But what?

He briefly considered pressing Ranma about it, but decided that it wasn't the right time. Besides, Ranma was entitled to a few secrets of his own. "...Yeah. Lead the way."

Ranma was all too happy to oblige.

After leading Ryoga to the field, Ranma left him to attend his next class. Now alone, Ryoga could only wait and wonder. And there was much to wonder about.

Ranma was definitely acting odd. In fact, he had been acting odd ever since he woke up at the hospital. Ryoga couldn't quite put his finger on it, but he felt that he was missing something and that Ranma was going out of his way to keep it that way.

Then there was the more immediate problem with Whiskey. Ryoga still couldn't recall where he'd met the barbarian before or what he might have done to offend him. He certainly hadn't walked out on him in a duel or knocked him into a cursed spring, that much he knew for sure.

"Oi! Ryoga!"

He wasn't sure how long he had been sitting there by the sporting field when the familiar voice woke him up from his thoughts. He looked up to see Kuonji Ukyo approaching him, carrying along her portable griddle, a folding table and a large bag of what Ryoga knew could only be okonomiyaki ingredients.

"Hi there, sugar," she said cheerfully. "I thought I'd drop by early and set up shop. I always make a killing at these events."

"Hey, Ukyo," Ryoga said. "Opportunistic as always, eh?"

"You know it!" Ukyo said while folding out her table and starting up the griddle. "When you have a business to run you gotta win that bread or it won't go around. There's no other way to it!" She started digging through the bag. "But, actually," she added in a more serious tone, "to be honest I also wanted to talk to you, Ryoga. About... About what happened to Ranchan."

Oh damn, Ryoga thought. In the back of his mind he knew he should have anticipated this, but with all that had been going on he had somehow managed to repress it. "Look, Ukyo, about that..."

"Oh, it's alright!" said Ukyo quickly. "I'm not mad at you or anything. I've already talked to Ranma about it."

"Oh?" Ryoga frowned. "And what did he say, exactly?"

"That it was an accident, of course. I mean, at first I was going to clobber you good anyway, but Ranchan said you didn't mean it to turn out like that and that the two of you are friends now. And, well, if he's forgiven you I guess I can't hold a grudge." She shrugged. "I just wanted you to know that we're cool, okay?

"...Right," Ryoga said. "Um, thanks."

An accident? He could barely believe his ears. As if Ranma wasn't already acting strange, now he was going around telling people it had been an accident? Twisting your ankle while sparring is an accident. What I did...

It hadn't been an accident. He knew that, and he knew Ranma knew that.

His contemplations were disturbed by a loud churning from his stomach. Ukyo chuckled. "I take it you haven't had any lunch yet? Hang on, I'll fix you up with one on the house."

"You don't have to..." Ryoga started but Ukyo had already poured a generous helping of batter on the griddle and began applying toppings. The sizzling sound and mouth-watering aroma silenced the rest of his protests. He sighed and smiled. "Thanks, Ukyo,"

Ukyo smiled back at him. "Hey, what are friends for?"

Friends... Ryoga thought. Were they friends? It was true they'd worked together on occasion in their mutual ambition to separate Ranma and Akane, and he supposed they had always gotten along pretty well. Not to mention, he now realised, that she had been the first girl his own age he'd been able to hold conversations with without blushing and stammering all the time.

He realized that he wanted them to be friends, but could they be? Ranma and Akane was of course a good start, but Ryoga could see that this might lead to trouble. As far as he knew, Ukyo was still hellbent on making Ranma her own and didn't know that Ryoga had decided to move on.

His brooding was interrupted when Ukyo shoved an okonomiyaki under his nose. "Here ya go, hot off the fryer."

Ryoga thanked her again and took a bite out of it. "Delicious!" he said and meant it. The taste alone was already getting his spirits up. While eating, he glanced at the young chef and made his decision. The chaos of Furinkan, he realized, thrived on misunderstandings and keeping secrets was never a good idea. Probably best I get it over with right away. "Look, Ukyo, I have to..."

"Hold that thought, sugar," Ukyo said and pointed. "Look who's here!"

He turned to see Ranma and Akane jogging down the edge of the field towards them. Behind them, at a slower pace, came Hiroshi, Daisuke, Yuka and Sayuri, Nabiki and a host of the other students.

Ranma waved at them. "Ryoga! Ucchan!"

Ukyo waved back and then turned to Ryoga again. "Okay, what did you want to say?"

Ryoga sweatdropped. That got awkward fast. "Actually, lets take it after the fight, okay?"

Ukyo gave him an odd look, but shrugged. "Sure thing."

"Feeling ready, Ryoga?" Ranma asked.

"As ready as I'll ever be, I guess," Ryoga replied. "Whiskey's late, though. He should have been here by now."

Ranma chuckled. "Probably karma."

"Be nice," Akane said, gently elbowing him.

"So level with me, you guys," Nabiki said. "What kind of guy is Ryoga facing here?"

Ranma shrugged. "Hard to tell. Chinese, talks a lot. Sort of Kuno-Mousse-Tarou-ish."

"Is he any strong?" Ukyo asked.

"I think he might be," Ranma said and turned to Nabiki. "How are Ryoga's odds?"

"Pretty even," Nabiki said. "People don't seem to know what to make of this."

Ukyo nodded. "On one hand, they know Ryoga is strong. But on the other hand, he doesn't have the best record. They're just not used to see him fighting someone who isn't, well, you."

"Nice to know I have some respect around here," Ryoga said and rolled his eyes. "So I'm the runner-up and Whiskey's the wild-card."

"Don't worry, Ryoga," Akane said. "We believe in you. This is your day."

"And it is a splendid day indeed, fair Akane, blessed as it is by your radiant presence!" a familiar voice called out.

Akane closed her eyes hard. "You have got to be kidding me."

Kuno Tatewake strode up to them with a rose in one hand and his bokken casually leaned against his shoulder with the other. "Truly, like the holy sun itself, you bring splendor even to the darkest day." Noticing Ranma, he glared. "Saotome. You, on the other hand, mar even the best of moods, like a dark cloud turning brightest day into blackest night."

"Oh yeah?" Ranma cracked his knuckles. "Well, if it's a blackout you want, I'm game!"

Akane frowned. "Ranma, don't make a scene."

"Hey, he started it," Ranma said.

"As I shall be the one to finish it!" Kuno said. "Why, where we not in the presence of ladies," he made a gesture towards Akane, Nabiki and Ukyo, "I should ryve thee in the sides twain right here and now!"

"By all means, go ahead and get your butt kicked," Nabiki muttered under her breath. Meanwhile, Ryoga put his head to the side with a puzzled look, as if he was listening to something.

"Give it a rest, Kuno," Ranma said. "You've been nothing but trouble lately. More then usual, I mean."

"Um, guys..." Ryoga said.

"Preposterous!" Kuno exclaimed. "If anything, it is you who have only turned all the more malevolent and vexatious! And if I lie, then may the judgement of the heavens strike me where I stand!"

"Hey, do you guys hear a whistling sound?" Ryoga asked.

And then Shampoo descended upon them on her bike like some sort of apocalyptic rider. She landed hard of Kuno's head, where she balanced for a moment before jumping off. "Nihao, everyone!"

"Beauty from beyond the sea," Kuno said in a wounded tone. "How have I invoked your ire?"

"Stick boy okay, no complain," Shampoo said and pushed the kendoka aside. She turned to Ranma and handed him a bowl of noodles. "Ranma! Shampoo bring lunch!"

"Um, thanks, I guess," Ranma said. He eyed the noodles suspiciously, but the many years on the road with his father had conditioned him to never turn down a free meal.

"Shampoo, what's the big idea?" Akane said sternly. "I thought you said..."

"Oh, Shampoo bring food to violent girl and lost boy too!" Shampoo said and smiled as she pushed another bowl into Akane's hands.

Akane stared at it in utter bewilderment. "...that... you...what?"

"Here you go!" The amazon handed the third bowl to Ryoga, who stuttered a thanks. "You eat good now, need strength for fighting!"

"Camaraderie, Shampoo?" Ukyo said. "This isn't like you."

Shampoo replied by winking and sticking her tongue out to the chef. "Sorry, Spatula Girl, no ramen for you!"

Ukyo fumed. "I don't want non of your ramen!"

Akane, Ranma and Ryoga shared a relieved sigh. I would seem like Shampoo's spirits were up to their regular levels again.

"Ho ho ho! We couldn't well miss out on this, could we?" They all turned their heads to see Cologne approach them on her cane, closely followed by Mousse. "After all, this does indirectly concern us."

"I'm glad you came along," Ryoga said. "Any idea what I might be up against here?"

"Hard to say beforehand," Cologne said with a shrug. Then she looked intently at him. "But know this, Ryoga: I have never been defeated by a barbarian, and I expect no less from one of my students, current or former."

Ryoga scoffed. "Well, I better make sure I win then."

"You will be careful, right?" Akane said with a hint of worry in her voice.

"Oh, come on!" Ranma said. "If Ryoga could defeat me, then beating this yahoo should be a breeze!"

Ryoga sweatdropped. "Hey now..."

"Well, have you considered," Akane said, eyes narrowing, "that for all we know Whiskey might be even stronger then you? I'm just concerned, that all."

"Oh yeah!?" Ranma said, raising his voice. "Well I think..."

While the conversation grew into an argument, Ukyo looked up from her okonomiyaki and spied something that made her frown. "Hey, guys!" she said, probably saving Ranma from considerable pain and discomfort. They ceased the shouting match and looked at her. She raised a finger to point. "That wouldn't be our man, would it?"

Indeed, Whiskey had finally arrived to the scene. He walked in a slow, determined way that would have looked very dramatic had he emerged out of a bank of fog on a moonlit night, but it rather lost it's edge in the pleasant sunlight. However, there was no mistaking the the cruel smile on his lips. It was that of a man with no good intentions.

Nabiki clapped her hands together. "Well, better get back to work! Good luck, Ryoga-.kun, I'm rooting for you!"

"Gee, thanks," Ryoga said, standing up. "Well, let's get this over with."

"Hibiki! Finally, here we are!" Whiskey said. "At long last have you decided to stop running from our inevitable battle!"

"Don't talk big," said Ryoga dryly. "You're the one who's late."

Whiskey ignored him. "As the champion of the Xulongyi tribe I, Chhaang Wei-Xi the Barbarian, hereby decreed that you, Hibiki Ryoga, have ruefully wronged both me and my people and must therefore die by my hands!"

"Even barbarian speak better Japanese then I," Shampoo complained.

"This will be a duel in the time-honored tradition of my people;" Whiskey carried on. "We fight man to man, with no outside interference, and we fight until death!"

Ryoga groaned. "I'm not going to kill you, Whiskey. I told you before, I don't even know what we're fighting over."

"Don't play stupid!" Whiskey yelled. "Do you truly expect me to believe that you have forgotten about that fateful day, when you robbed me of my woman and stole my people's greatest treasure," he pointed straight at Ryoga's head for emphasis, "the enchanted bandanna that you carry tied around your head to this very day!"

"Enchanted bandanna?" Ranma said.

"Robbed you of your woman?" Akane said.

"Wait! Now I remember!" Ryoga exclaimed, hitting his palm. "You're the creep I saved that girl from, back in China!"

"Saved!" Whiskey screamed. "She was my chosen bride-to-be! I had every right to claim her! But thanks to you, I lost both my woman and…"

"Wait, hold on a minute!" Akane interrupted. "This sounds very interesting! Ryoga, what exactly are you talking about? What's this about you saving a girl?"

"I remember it clearly now," Ryoga said, thinking back. "It was shortly after I was cursed at Jusenkyo. I was lost again and feeling more miserable then ever, trying my best to find my way back to the Japanese sea, when…"

Two years earlier.

Unidenitifed mountain-pass, Qinghai Province, China.

"Where the hell am I now!" Ryoga shouted. His cry echoed all over the cliffs, turning into a taunt in his ears. "SAOTOME RANMA, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

Over all, the eternally lost boy's life had now hit an all-time new low. Not only had he yet again been denied the battle he had gone through such hardships to fight and gotten himself cursed so that ordinary water now threatened to turn him into an animal, but to make matter worse he had managed to get completely and utterly lost. Again!

He put his hands to his temples as groaned in despair. His only hope now was to find someone who could at least point him in the right general direction. Though the chances were slim that this would actually help, it was still better then running around mindlessly only to loose his way even more.

His rations were running low and this was really starting to worry him. Ryoga was no stranger to surviving in the wild, but he had his limits. Getting lost on the Japanese countryside was one thing. Getting lost in the middle of the eastern Himalayans was another.

"Aiyaaaa!"

Ryoga snapped out if his desperation, barely believing his own ears. A voice! A human voice nearby! Someone to ask for directions, at last! He frantically turned his head every which way, trying to locate the screaming person, knowing full well that he risked running off in the wrong direction of he moved.

Then he saw them, appearing from behind a nearby cliff. A tall, lanky boy with spiky green hair and a grim look on his face. He was pulling along a frantic, struggling girl by the arm. She was the one who had screamed and was, in fact, still preoccupied with this.

"I'm, excuse me?" Ryoga said loudly, trying to outvoice the girl.

Noticing him, the boy glared at Ryoga and yelled something in Chinese.

Ryoga frowned. "I didn't quite get that."

"Foreign Devil! Leave now or taste my fury!" the boy snarled in badly mangled Japanese. "This no is your business!"

"Aiyaaa! No listen to him!" the girl said. Ryoga now saw that she was crying. "He very bad person! Please save poor and unfortunate Chicha!"

Apparently angered by this outburst, the boy snapped something at her in his native tongue. He raised his hand to strike, only to find that Ryoga had grabbed on to his wrist, holding his arm in place.

"You really shouldn't have tried to do that just now," he said coldly. "Now let the girl go."

For a moment, the boy looked utterly surprised. Then his eyes narrowed and he released the girl. Ryoga, in turn, let go of his arm.

"Ku-ku-ku," the Chinese youngling laughed, gently rubbing his wrist. "The one who should no have done that… is YOU!" He threw his foot up, aiming a kick for Ryoga's head. The girl barely had time to gasp.

Ryoga effortlessly caught his foot with his hand before the kick connected. "You really don't know what to stop, do you?" Then he jerked the boy off his remaining foot, swung him overhead and slammed him into the unforgiving ground. The boy passed out immediately.

"Looser," Ryoga muttered.

For a moment, the girl just sat on the ground and stared at him in awe. Then she got to her feet, ran over to the unconscious boy, and started to kick him repeatedly while yelling what Ryoga guessed were curses and insults. When stomping him apparently didn't have the desired effect, she picked up a rock the size of a watermelon, seemingly intent on smashing him into a fine paste.

Ryoga coughed. "Um, excuse me, miss?" he said.

The girl froze and, apparently recalling her manners, dropped the rock –on top of the boy. She then surprised Ryoga by falling on her knees before him and bowing her head.

"Strong and noble foreigner," she said. "Humble Chicha give great thanks for saving her from fate worse then death!"

As she looked up, Ryoga realized that she was very cute; milky skin and large eyes, as dark as the night itself. A delicate face framed by long, jet-black hair.

"He's a fate worse then death?" Ryoga said and pointed at the unconscious boy. The girl named Chicha nodded vigorously. Ryoga scratched his head. "Right, no problem. Anyway, I just wanted to know if you could tell me which way east is."

Chicha gave him a questioning look before pointing in the direction of the setting sun. "That way."

"Thanks," Ryoga said. He noticed that the girl was still kneeling before him. "Um, you can go home now, he won't bother you anymore."

Chicha looked up at him. "You… set Chicha free?"

There was a pleading, almost desperate tone to her voice that made Ryoga wonder what he had gotten himself into. "Um, sure, if that's what you want."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. Off you goaaah!"

Before Ryoga could finish his sentence, Chicha had thrown her arms around him in a tight hug. "Xie-xie! Xie-xie!" she laughed, over and over again.

"Whoa!" Ryoga cried, now blushing furiously. "I don't… I mean… T-take it easy, will you?"

Chicha settled down and smiled at him. "Forgive for outburst, make Chicha too, too happy! What name of kind and courageous saviour?"

"Eh, Ryoga," Ryoga said. The girl's constant praise was making him feel rather embarrassed. "Hibiki Ryoga."

Chicha reached into her pocket and retrieved a bandanna. It was yellow and decorated with symmetric black patterns. She held it up to Ryoga with both hands. "Please, fearless and heroic Hibiki Ryoga accept this humble gift as small token of great appreciation!"

The bandanna didn't look like much, but Ryoga didn't want to hurt her feelings. These mountain-folk are terribly old-fashioned, he thought. I better take it, or she'll probably feel dishonored or something. "I accept your gift," he said, taking the piece of cloth. He then removed his old plain bandanna and tied the new one around his head.

"It suit you," Chicha declared. "Must get back to village now, airen probably worried." She leaned over and pecked him on the cheek, making him blush even more then before. "Chicha never forget you, Hibiki Ryoga. Tell whole tribe of your valor! Song bie!"

And then she bounded away across the cliffs, leaving Ryoga alone with the still unconscious boy. Ryoga threw him a brief look, shrugged his shoulder and wandered off once again, this time in the right direction for once.

"…and that's the whole story," Ryoga finished. "Of course, it was only later that I discovered that the bandanna could create infinite copies of itself."

"So that's the way it works!" Ranma said. "I always thought you were wearing several at once!"

"That is not just some bandanna!" Whiskey shouted. "It is the Heavenly Eternity Cloth, the First Treasure of Xulong, a sacred relic belonging to my clan! I demand that you surrender it to me now!"

"Will you back out of the fight if I do?" Ryoga asked.

"Feh! Of course not!" Whiskey replied. "You still need to pay for humiliating me, after all. I will, however, give you a quick and relatively painless death rather then a prolonged, agonizing one."

"Hold it!" Akane said. "I have a question."

"Oh, what is it now, you annoying woman?" Whiskey groaned.

Akane fought back an impulse to run over to the man and strangle him with her bare hands. Instead she asked: "What happened to the girl?"

"Oh, yes, let us not forget that!" Whiskey said and glared at Ryoga. "Thanks to your interference, Hibiki Ryoga, I lost my legal claim to Chicha! Instead of becoming my wife, as destiny and tradition would have it, she ran off and married that weakling, Liqueur!"

"Is this making sense to anyone?" Ranma asked and scratched his head. "'Cause is sure doesn't to me."

"I believe I can explain," Cologne said. "Barbarian law states that a woman is, essentially, the legal property of either her father or her husband. If a young man wishes to marry a girl, he must first defeat the father in combat and thus win the ownership of the girl in question. He may then choose to marry her, decide on another husband for her or -in very rare cases- allow her to make her own choice. Chicha was probably in love with this Liqueur, only he was not strong enough to defeat her father."

"But I was!" Whiskey said. "She was mine by law!"

"Yes, yes," Cologne said, annoyed at being interrupted. "However, if another man defeats the first one before the marriage is completed, the right to the girl is passed on once again, in this particular case to Ryoga. Since he chose to "set her free", she could then marry whoever she wanted."

"Barbarians have crazy laws," Shampoo commented.

Akane had listened carefully to Cologne's explanation with a grim expression, and was now staring at Whiskey in pure hatred. "You mean that if Ryoga hadn't shown up when he did, she would have been force to… He would have…" A small twitch appeared in her right eye and she clenched her fists hard.

"So now you understand," Whiskey said. "Twice have you shamed me, and now only your destruction can redeem my honor! I have trained hard for this day, and I swear that…"

"SHUT UP!"

There was a stunned silence as everyone turned to Akane. The middle Tendo sister was clearly infuriated, only barely keeping her temper under control.

"That does it!" she growled, momentarily shining in a faint but menacing light. The assembled martial artists could actually feel the anger radiating from her. "Ryoga, kick his ass!"

"What?" Ryoga said numbly.

"You heard me, rip him to pieces!" Akane shouted. "Ryoga, I will officially forgive you for every bad, reckless or stupid thing you have ever done since the day you showed up here, if you only kick that baka gaijin's chauvinistic ass all the way back to China right now! I want you to stomp him into the ground and make him ask for more, do you hear me?"

"Um, Akane?" Ranma sweatdropped. "Aren't you exaggerating a bit now?"

"Beat him until candy comes out!" Akane shouted, paying no heed to her finance. "Kill! Kill!"

Shampoo smiled. "You know, Violent Girl not so bad after all," she noted.

"The loudmouthed wench is right, enough talk!" Whiskey said, ignoring the colorful insults Akane had started to spout at him. "Hibiki Ryoga, prepare to meet your doom!"

"Well, at least I know you're an enormous jerk," Ryoga said and motioned to the others to fall back. "So I won't have to feel bad about the beating I'm about to give you."

He took his usual stance, lifting his hands and moving his feet apart for balance. Whiskey assumed an openly challenging stance, holding his right hand out as if inviting his opponent. He didn't have to wait long. Ryoga closed the distance between them with a burst of sudden speed and threw the first punch.

It was a good punch, but Whiskey nimbly dodged to the side, turning his body a full 360 degrees and swiping his arm out in the same motion. Ryoga saw the attack coming and pulled his arm up to block it. but as he did red flames seemed to envelope the barbarian's arm. When it connected, an unexpected force sent Ryoga staggering back.

Surprised rather then hurt, Ryoga saw Whiskey close in for another attack. His left arm was raised for another strike and it too flamed red. Instinct made Ryoga dodge and he felt the draft of dislocated air on his face. Behind him the ground was ripped open by the pressure. He countered with a kick but Whiskey had already danced out of his range.

"That's a neat trick," Ryoga said.

Whiskey smirked and spread his flaming arms. "I must say, I'm disappointed. If this your best I will win without using my full power." As he spoke, the aura spread from his arms across his entire body. The air itself seemed to pulsate with aggression. "I'll be merciful and crush you right away."

"There it is again," Ranma said. He and the others had retreated to one of the low staircases leading down to the field. "It's coming off him in waves!"

"This aura.." Cologne said. "It doesn't feel quite human."

"Not quite human," Ranma mumbled. He could almost remember now...

Whiskey lunged, and once again Ryoga was nearly overwhelmed by the primal sensation of danger. This time he was ready, however, and managed to stay in control of his instincts. Rather the freezing up, he met Whiskey's charge.

The barbarian launched a barrage of punches and kicks and Ryoga had to use all his speed and strength to keep his defense up. Each strike he blocked sent a shock of pain through his limbs and pushed him back little by little.

"Come on! Is this a joke?" Whiskey laughed. "Is this all you've got?"

Keep talking, you arrogant bastard, Ryoga thought. He was starting to see a pattern in Whiskey's technique. Just a little more... There! An opening!

Whiskey didn't see the feint until it was too late and Ryoga's kick struck him hard in the head. Ryoga knew he had only won a few moments and immediately threw a punch at Whiskey's torso.

Whiskey caught it by the wrist before it connected. He smiled as he turned his head back, apparently unharmed. "Now that's more like it!" He countered with a vicious blow that sent Ryoga staggering back. Whiskey came in for a leg-sweep but in the last moment Ryoga jumped over it in a backwards flip. As he turned in the air, he focused and tried to find that last bit of sadness he knew must still hide deep in his heart. He landed and struck his hands out. "Shishi Houkudan!"

The resulting blast was a lot larger then the one he had shown Ranma the other day, but unfortunately still not enough. Whiskey barely flinched, his own aura shielding him from Ryoga's super-dense ki. "Ha! Was that supposed to hurt!?" he shouted. "Take THIS!"

As he lashed out with his hand, Whiskey's ki formed a mighty bolt. Ryoga thought he saw the vague outlines of a large, clawed hand before it slammed into him. The heat burned like fire to his skin and the force of the blast sent him flying. It arched upwards, lifting him high into the air before making a full turn and sending him crashing straight into the ground. A collective gasp went through the onlookers. As the dust settled, Ryoga was lying lifeless and still on the ground.

"Oh no! Ryoga!" Akane yelled. "Please get up!"

Ranma blinked, as if he had just realized something. "Oh damn..."

"What is it?" Akane asked.

"His ki!" Ranma said. "I remember now…"

"Ranma, stop freaking me out. What do you mean?"

Ranma looked at her. "Herb," he said. "That's where I've sensed it before. It's the same kind of feeling I got from Herb!"

Akane frowned. "What does that mean?"

"I don't know." Ranma frowned. "Dammit, Ryoga. Get up already."

Whiskey chuckled as he approached Ryoga's motionless body. "Ku-ku-ku... And so it ends. You know, considering all the trouble I had hunting you down I had really hoped for more of a challenge. Though, I admit humiliating you in front of your comrades was pretty fun."

"I'm sorry..."

"Hm?" Whiskey glanced at Ryoga, surprised that his opponent was still conscious. "What was that?"

For a moment, Ryoga didn't move. But then he pulled his arm in and slowly started to push himself up. "I'm sorry, Whiskey…"

"You're damn right, you're sorry," Whiskey said. "But it's too late for apologies. I'm going to…"

"I'm sorry, but I can't die here," Ryoga said. He lifted his head and started to get back up on his feet again. "Because… Because I just started a new life, you know? I've wasted so much time, but I've finally started to see all the really important things. I can't allow you kill me now, that'd be way too ironic." He stood up, and Whiskey glared at him as he brushed his clothes off with a defiant look on his face. "I'm going to beat you, Whiskey. Even if it means going all out. I'm sorry."

Wild cheers erupted from the audience, but Whiskey clenched his fists and his face contorted in a mask of rage. "So be it!"

They moved as one, dashing towards one another again. But this time Ryoga's attack was only a feint. In the very last moment he dodged Whiskey's punch and struck his finger towards the ground. Whiskey barely had the time to react when the soil exploded under his feet. Momentarily blinded by the shower of dirt, dust and shattered rock, he didn't see Ryoga's attack before it hit. It was an uppercut to the abdomen, knocking the air out of Whiskey's lungs. A fast kick followed, sending him flying.

Fazed but not injured, the furious warrior turned his eyes to his opponent only to find that had had vanished. Half a moment later, Ryoga appeared in the air behind Whiskey, his hands folded above his head. With a might cry he brought them down, striking Whiskey hard and sending him crashing back to the earth. Still falling, Ryoga focused his will and drew upon his very last reserves. "Again! SHISHI HOKUDAN!"

The blast was more desperation then depression, more willpower then sadness, but it was easily as large as one of his old ones. With a little help from gravity, it struck Whiskey like the vengeance of heaven itself. The weight and pressure crushed the ground and deformed the entire field.

Then it died away as suddenly as it was born. Ryoga landed next to the crater, his hands still smoking from the blast. He looked down on Whiskey, who lay unconscious on the bottom, half pressed into the dirt. "Take that!" Ryoga said, breathing hard from the effort.

The crowd, which had until then been silent, now exploded in a roar of screaming students.

"He did it!" Akane cheered.

"Way to go, Ryoga!" Ranma shouted.

With a tired smile, Ryoga turned to look at them, averting his eyes from the falling barbarian. For a moment, Whiskey's eyelids flickered.

Then they snapped open.

A tendril of red fire struck Ryoga in the back, knocking him off his feet. He rolled with the fall and retreated, instantly on edge again. The cheering had stopped.

Whiskey rose from the crater, his eyes glowing red, his aura burning more intensely then ever. Multiple tendrils randomly lashed out of it, coiling like crazed snakes.

"I won't... allow it... to end this way!" Whiskey snarled, his voice no longer sounding human. He grabbed the cloth of his shirt and ripped it off, baring his slender, muscular torso. The fiery aura seemed to originate from an object on his chest; an orb or sphere hung around his neck in a thin gold chain.

What the hell!? Ryoga stared in amazement. Something like that could have knocked Ranma out. Who is this guy? What is he?

"I will... have my... VENGENCE!" Whiskey raised his arms to the sky and the tendrils of ki arched up, merging into a single large pillar. It solidified, grew limbs, gained features, and suddenly Ryoga faced the terrible truth of Whiskey's mysterious power.

It was a dragon, made out of nothing but ki and limitless anger. It towered before him in majestic radiance, coiling like a serpent, growling like a lion. The instinctual fear Ryoga had felt before returned, stronger then ever. The bloodthirst was almost tangible and Ryoga was not the only one affected now: a wave of panic swept through the onlookers. Some ran for their lives, others froze in the spot they were seated, unable to move.

"Aiyaaa!" Shampoo gasped while Ukyo uttered a very unladylike phrase best not repeated.

"This ain't possible!" Ranma said. "Where does he get all that power from?"

Cologne said nothing, but features betrayed anger as well as fear.

Whatever it was, it was fast. Ryoga barely had time to throw himself out of the way and a claw whizzed by his face. The dragon skimmed the ground, made a loop and dove at him again. It crashed into the ground as Ryoga dodged once more. But he wasn't fast enough this time and the massive body slammed into him from the side. Burned by its heat, Ryoga was thrown several meters, tumbling across the field. Realizing that he was dead if he didn't keep moving, he jumped to his feet, ignoring the pain and trying to blink the dust out of his eyes.

"Ryoga!" Ranma shouted. "Use that stream thing!"

"I can't!" Ryoga yelled back. He jumped again, narrowly avoiding the dragon's fanged maw. "You guys are too close! You'd get hurt!"

"Ranma, you'd best prepare yourself," Cologne said. Ranma turned to look at her. She was watching the battle with a grim expression. "Whiskey's anger and lust for vengeance has turned him into a demon. We may have to intervene."

Ranma hesitated, but then he nodded. "Right, but let's give Ryoga a chance first. It's not over yet."

Things did not look good for the aforementioned lost boy, however. The dragon kept attacking with relentless ferocity and seemed invulnerable. All Ryoga could do was to keep avoiding it, but his injuries were affecting his speed and soon his stamina would start to run out. He desperately threw a pair of bandanna at the dragon but they were incinerated by the flames. Alright, so I can't hurt it, he thought. His eyes fell on Whiskey. The tip of the dragon's tail was still connected to his aura, feeding off his ki. Then let's try taking out the power source!

"Hey, you big dumb lizard! I've over here!" he taunted. The dragon rose to the sky, displaying it's full length. Then, with a deafening roar, it plunged towards him. Ryoga had timed it perfectly, and just before it struck him he leaped forward. The impact behind him shook the ground but he kept his focus on his target, running towards Whiskey as fast as his legs could carry him.

But he wasn't fast enough. He only made it halfway when the ground exploded under his feet with the force of a rocket. As it gored him, he vaguely realized that it had tunneled its way through the ground.

He was sent flying high into the air and all he could see was sky. A feeling of weightlessness overcame him. It took him several moments to realize that he had really stopped falling; that he was now floating in the air. He also realized that the ground was gone. All he could see was blue sky and white clouds, above as well as below.

Okay, he thought. This is definitely weird. He hoped Whiskey hadn't actually killed him already, though he had been close to death a few times before and this looked nothing like it.

And then he saw the dragon.

It was much, much larger then the one Whiskey had conjured up. This dragon was huge. Enormous, even. Its head filled the sky, partially lizard and partially lion, with whiskers like wispy clouds, horns like giant trees and a coiling, snake-like body, seemingly endless. The scaly hide gleamed like gold in the sun. Ryoga looked into its eyes and it was like staring into the starlit sky at night. He felt as if he was drowning in the abysmal, inky darkness.

SON OF THE EASTERN ISLES, HEAR OUR WORDS.

It was a voice, but at the same time, it wasn't a voice at all. It echoed across the sky like thunder. It whispered like the wind in the grass. Ryoga had heard about telepathy. Supposedly, it was when someone was talking inside of your head. This voice wasn't just talking inside his head, though, but inside his entire body. And, for that matter, outside of it as well.

"Eh, okay," he said. His own voice sounded puny in comparison.

THE MAN-BOY HAS BETRAYED OUR TRUST BY MISUSING THE GIFT OF XULONG. HE DOES NOT DESERVE OUR POWER. YOU MUST FREE US.

"How?" Ryoga asked.

HE CARRIES THE GIFT OF XULONG TO HIS PEOPLE AROUND HIS NECK. DESTROY IT, AND WE SHALL BE SET FREE.

Ryoga recalled the object he had spotted around Whiskey's neck. "Um, Okay. I'll try my best."

DO SO.

All of a sudden, gravity returned to normal and the earth was back underneath him. Unfortunately, so was Whiskey and his dragon.

It immediately snatched him out of the air, closing its jaws around his body and right arm. Ryoga growled from the pain and tried to free himself with his other arm, but it was too strong even for him. Whiskey threw his head back and laughed.

"Ryoga!" Ranma and Akane both cried out at once.

"Ranma! Now, while he's distracted!" Cologne said. "Shampoo, Mousse, you too!"

"I'm coming too!" Akane said, clenching her fists. "We have to help Ryoga!"

"Oh, what the hell!" Ukyo said and drew her combat spatula. "Me too!"

"Right, let's go!" Ranma said, and without hesitation all six of them sprung forth.

Meanwhile, the dragon had lowered its head, holding Ryoga upside-down in front of the triumphant Whiskey. Ryoga could see it clearly now; a pearl about the size of a golf ball resting on Whiskey's chest, the focal point of the infinite stream of power.

The Chinese barbarian smirked. "This is the end," he said, leaning forward to look Ryoga in the eyes. "Any last words?"

The dragon's teeth pierced Ryoga's flesh and the heat burned his body, but despite the pain he still managed a triumphant smile.

"Yeah," he said. Raising his free arm, he reached out and tapped the pearl with his finger. "Bakusai tenketsu..."

In an instant, a thousand cracks covered the pearl an a heartbeat later it shattered. The red flames turned bright white and the group of would-be rescuers stopped dead in their tracks as the dragon dropped Ryoga unceremoniously on the ground. The white behemoth raised its head towards the sky and let out a roar that drowned Whiskey's anguished cry. Then it dissipated in the air and vanished as Whiskey's aura died away.

Whiskey stumbled back, staring at his hands in shock and horror. "No! No! You fool, do you have any idea what you've done?"

"Aw, did I ruin your little toy?" Ryoga asked while picking himself up. His torn clothes sizzled, his body was covered in burns and bruises and he had several shallow wounds from where the dragon had bitten him. The pain didn't matter much to him, though. He had beaten it.

"Damn you!" Whiskey yelled. "I'll kill you for this!"

He threw a punch, but Ryoga blocked it. Whiskey threw another punch, and another, and another. But Ryoga blocked all of them with a slightly puzzled look on his face.

Whiskey's attacks were much slower and weaker now, he realized, and his movements were clumsy and predictable. Even wounded and exhausted, Ryoga found that he had no trouble defending himself. He stopped blocking Whiskey's attacks and started dodging instead.

Ranma frowned. "The hell? He's fighting like crap compared to before!"

"Seems like the pearl was augmenting his martial arts skill as well," Cologned mused. "Now he has nothing but himself."

"Whiskey," Ryoga said, still dodging kicks and punches, "You haven't actually done any training these last two years, have you?"

"Shut up!" Whiskey growled. He intensified his assault, but Ryoga had already had enough. He found an opening and struck Whiskey in the chest. The blow threw the amazon clean off his feet and he rolled across the ground as he landed.

"I guess that settles it," Ryoga said. "You might as well give up right now, Whiskey."

"No!" Whiskey said, desperately getting back on his feet. "No! No! NO! This can't be!" With a crazed, feverish look in his eyes, he threw himself at his enemy. "DIE, HIBIKI RYOGA!"

But then something unexpected happened. A small and very fast thing resembling a gray and brown comet suddenly appear out of nowhere and struck Whiskey in the back of the head. The barbarian's eyes rolled back and he fell to the ground like a clubbed ox. The mysterious object then circled him several times at blinding speed while brandishing a rope, until Whiskey was neatly tied up from his shoulder to his feet. "There! Tha' oughta do it."

For a moment, everyone simply stared at the creature, trying to decide what they were seeing. "It's a living head!" one of the girls shrieked.

"I ain't no heid!" the apparition yelled. "I'm a man, an' dun ye ferget it!"

The tiny figure appeared to be an elderly human male, though this was difficult to tell clearly. His only visible facial features was his large eyes, the rest was efficiently hidden by the enormous white beard and straggly hair, most of which was tied up in an impressive topknot on his head. To make matters worse, he was dragging along an ancient Chinese broadsword in an incredibly worn leather scabbard. The weapon was longer then his entire body.

By then Whiskey had regained consciousness, and he now stared at the old man with shock and surprise on his face. "Grandmaster Champagne! What are you doing here Japan?"

"Ah suspected that ye might've 'ad some trouble o' this quest o' yers, me lad," the old man said. He spoke in a thick, peculiar accent that, while certainly Chinese, was unlike anything they had ever heard before. "So Ah came along te keep an eye on ye. And Ah see ye've already managed te get yon'self in trouble." He turned to the others. "Terr'bly sorry 'boot all a'this."

"...Hold on a minute! Champagne?" Cologne said, staring at the old man. "Chhaang Champagne, is that you? It's me, Cologne!"

"Co... Cologne?" Squinting slightly, the elderly barbarian approached the amazon matriarch. He jumped up on his sword, balancing on it the same way Cologne did on her staff, brining them the the same height. His eyes lit up in recognition. "Xulong's hand! It is ye! Bonnie lass, Ah haven't seen ye in decades!"

"Old comrade!"

"Dear freen!"

The representatives of the younger generation stared at the reunion in disbelief. Even Whiskey seemed baffled.

"You've got to be kidding me," Ryoga mumbled.

"The worst part," Ranma said, "is that I'm not really surprised."

"What in all the world are you doing here in Japan, after all this time?" Cologne asked.

Champagne gestured at Whiskey. "Fam'ly matters. Ye've met me great-gran'son a'ready. Bit o' an black sheep, sad te say, always causin' trouble fer tha rest o' us."

"Hey!" Whiskey said. "At least I take the honor of the tribe seriously! Now release me, old man, so that I may exact my rightful vengeance upon Hibiki Ryoga!"

"Ha! Dinna go talkin' aboot tha honour o' tha tribe, lad," Champagne scoffed. "All thas happened is yer own damn fault an' ye knows it."

"But he destroyed the Dragon Soul Pearl!"

Champagne paused, and then he sighed. "So, lemme see if Ah've got this 'ere straight. Yer sayin' tha not only have ye managed tae loose tha Heavenly Eternity Cloth, but now ye've succeeded tae get tha Dragon Soul Pearl destroyed as well? Tha very same pearl, Ah might add, tha ye took wi'out permission when ye left tha village on this fool's errand o' yers!"

Whiskey glowered. "I had to restore our honor."

"Ye had ta restore yon pride," Champagne said sharply, "fer bein' denied a lass ye were ne'er supposed te marry in tha first place!"

"Wait, hold on!" Akane said and glared at the old barbarian. "Let's be fair now, wasn't it was the insane customs of your tribe that started this whole mess?"

"Oh?" Champagne raised a bushy eyebrow. "Whit do ye mean?"

"I'm talking about your disgusting habit of treating women like property and using them as fighting prizes," Akane said. "Whiskey defeated Chicha's father, didn't he?"

"Ah, thas!" Champagne chuckled. "No, see, them old traditions're nay much practiced anymore. These days, tha battle 'tween tha father and tha groom be more of ae cermonial mock-bout than an actual fight. Chicha's father 'ad already gone an made up wi' Liqueur 'boot tha marriage, but Whiskey 'ere caught wind o' tha matter an ambushed him wi'out warning. Liqueur was very upset aboot tha whole affair."

"Oh," Akane said. This explanation seemed to have calmed her. "Can't say I blame him, really."

"O'coors, tha law be still tha law," Champagne continued. "After beatin' Chicha's father, Whiskey had tha legal right tae do wha'ever he damned well pleased wi' tha lass. 'Twas good fortune Hibiki showed up when he did, saved me tha trouble tae beat Whiskey up meself."

"So, um, we cool?" Ryoga asked. He pointed to his bandanna. "What about this thing?"

"Keep it! It belongs te ye now," Champagne said. "Whiskey gave it tae Chicha by his own free will. 'Tis not oors te claim anymore."

Then he picked his tied-up great-grandson up as if he was light as a feather, and ignoring Whiskey's vehement protests, turned to the group. "Well, we must be goin' now," he said.

"Drop by at the Nekohanten some time," Cologne said. "We have much to talk about, you and I."

Champagne smiled at her. "That we do, ol' freen, that we do."

And then he bounded away over the rooftops with his burden, until all that remained was Whiskey's cry echoing over the skyline:

"Damn you, Hibiki Ryoga! I'll get you if it's the last thing I do! This is all your faaauuuuuuuuult!"

Ryoga looked to Ranma. "Karma, huh?"

"Don't worry, you'll get used to it," Ranma said. "How you holding up? You took a real beating this time."

Ryoga chuckled. "Oh you know me, nearly indestructible and all that." He staggered slightly and added: "Though, now that you mention it... I do feel... kinda... sleepy..."

Then his legs gave in and he crumbled. Ranma managed to catch him before he hit the ground, and the last thing Ryoga saw was the worried faces of his friends as they called out his name. Then darkness swallowed up his mind and he fell deep into unconsciousness.

Author's Note: Finally!

I hope Champagne's accent was readable. My sincerest apology to any and all Scottish readers.

Also, for those reviewers who previously commented that I wrote "alot" instead of "a lot"; you were all absolutely right, and I will never ever make that mistake again. Thank you!