"Tah-Dah!"
"I hate you."
Ed was now wearing a smaller fluffier version of his dress. He was wearing makeup and his lovely golden hair was flowing in the breeze.
"Tah-Tah!" Roy left Ed on the stairs of the palace.
"Note to self…when I get home Roy Mustang is to work for me until he dies." (AN: Which may not be very long because Ed's gonna make him sleep with Al's Tiger Puffy) The palace guard escorted Ed to the princes' office, to be interviewed. A medium woman with brown hair and glasses walked in.
"Hi I'm Sheska, do you have any experience?"
"Umm Roy sent me?" she adjusted her glasses.
"hmm you don't look like a hooker?"
"What! Does he normally send hookers?"
"Whatever follow me." She led Ed down the hallway. They arrived at the room labeled. 'ROYAL JOB GUY'. Ed walked into the room to see a moving chair. Sheska cleared her throat and the man raised a silencing finger.
"Yeah , Yeah okay I love you too. Yes you may use all the money in her bank account…Stay away from boys they'll give you herpes. (But daddy I'm 5 ) yeah so was he… what he get out of rehab soon. Yeah, yeah bye." The man turned
"Ahem Mr. Hughes first Gracia called and she wanted you to call her back…something about her mysteriously losing money out of her bank."
"Who's that?"
"Who's who?"
"This Gracia person?"
"Your wife."
"…"
"Married her about 6 years ago."
"…"
"Elysia came out of her"
" ohhh her umm send her flowers or whatever they eat."
"…umm and Mr. Hughes this maiden here is looking for a job…" she lowered her voice, "Roy sent her."
"…you don't look like a hooker…well you kinda do but no matter" he pointed to his name tag. "My name is Maes Hughes…hey you don't have aids do you?"
"Why the hell would you ask me that?!"
"I'm not hearing a no."
"Wait you said your Maes Hughes…aren't you supposed to be dead?"
"No…why," he narrowed his eyes and pulled a knife from nowhere. "Do you plan to kill me?!"
"No…it's just well you came up in conversation and Roy gave the impression that you were dead."
"Well no I'm not dead I just left."
"Why'd you leave?"
"Better pay, Roy steals but not very well…at least he barely gets caught."
"But I thought he was loaded."
"Tch…yeah with Lawsuits." Hughes stood up. " Well anyway follow me to the princes' chambers."
"Why do we have to go there?"
"You work there."
"Why?"
"I don't know I felt like it."
"Okay"
lllllllll"Prince Envy!" called Maes searching for the wondering prince. "Oh well I've decided to leave you here unattended." Hughes left Ed standing in Envy's room.
"Hey do you have AIDs?" called Sheska walking into the room .
"NO I DON'T!"
" 'Kay Hughes I think he sent a clean one this time!"
"I'm NOT A HOOKER!!!"
"Whatever you say." Sheska left and Ed was deserted all alone.
O0o0o0o0o0o0o"Hey Hughes… you do notice that was a boy right?"
"Yeah."
"Then why did you?"
"I don't really care as long as I can nurture my darling daughter Elysia. So I can spend money on her and she can be all happy."
"Gracia too right?"
"Who?"
o00oo0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
"Who they hell are you?!" yelled an angry prince Envy finding Ed napping on his bed.
"Well I…"
"You look like one but your pretty small for a hooker."
twitch
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THEY CAN ONLY BE SEEN WITH THE FINEST MAGNIFICATION SETTING YOU BASTARD!!!"
"What did you say to me!" yelled a furious Envy. "Do you have a death wish mini-whore."