For The Delivery Boy who has Everything

Disclaimer: Futurama isn't mine.

Phillip J. Fry spun around in his swivel chair behind the navigation consul of the Planet Express ship. Beings that Leela pretty much handled everything involving the ship's flight, he more or less sat there for the hell of it. He was reenacting Star Wars scenes with his hands, mimicking the various space ship and light saber fights.

"Fry, could you shut up please? Your like a 3 year old in the back seat on a trip to Dog Doo 7!" Leela screamed.

Fry stopped just at the part where Luke Skywalker lost his hand. "Aww but Leela, I was getting to my favorite part!"

"Why don't you go help Bender fill up the dark matter furnace?" Leela asked.

Fry sighed and got up from his comfortable seat and headed toward the dark matter core. Bender had just finished heaving the last of the immensely heavy fuel from Nibbler's litter box into the fiery furnace.

"What are you doing here chump?" Bender said in between huffs and puffs.

"Leela kicked me out of the cockpit cuz I was reenacting Star Wars again." Fry replied.

"What is with you and those stupid documentaries? Ancient hisory is the major for idiots. Good old Robo American History, that's what you should look into!" Bender went on.

"Ahh I dropped out of college, no sense in going back. Besides, I have a low paying dead end job, live in a robot's closet, I envy no man." Fry said crossing his arms.

"Good point." Bender nodded.

Fry leaned on the metal wall and sat down. Bender clanked up and sat beside him. The delivery boy let out a sigh.

"What's eating your Gilbert's grape?" Bender asked.

"She just doesn't understand me. No matter what I do, she avoids me or blows me off. Maybe I should just give up!" Fry said, slamming his face into his hands.

"The answer is pretty easy Fry. I know how you can get her." Bender said.

"Really? How?" Fry pleaded.

"You know my rates." Bender replied.

Fry took out his wallet and gave Bender a stack of money. Bender counted it and shoved it into his mouth.

"You pretend you don't want her, lose all interest in her. That drives human chicks wild!" Bender said.

"True, but Leela isn't 100 human." Fry said.

"Trust me! Have I ever lied to you before?" Bender replied.

"Pfft. There was that time you told me that it was give Bender money day, oh and that time you told me you paid the rent but bought a watch and we got evicted!" Fry went on.

"Hey, hey. I'm only human." Bender defended himself.

"Really? I thought you were a robot!" Fry concluded.

The two felt the delivery ship touch down on the planet there newest delivery was, Hovering Squid World 7. Once they departed the ship Leela began to brief her crew on the planet's terrain.

"Obviously this planet is misnamed, as there are no actual hovering squids. Stay away from the plant life, they are all toxic to humans. Fry are you listening to me?" Leela asked.

"Sorry Leela, I guess not. I just cant get Amy and her two eyes out of my head!" Fry snorted.

It felt like an atomic bomb and just vaporized Leela's heart. She grit her teeth and her knees began to quiver. The palms of her hands became clammy. She struggled to hand Fry a map that the Professor had drawn on a Denny's place mat with crayons and a rucksack full of vital things that could be used in the jungle.

"Well stop thinking with your human horn, and start thinking about the mission!" Leela managed to sputter out. "Here is the map through the dungeon maze, remember to find the blue key to gain access to the boss's level. Be careful Fry."

Fry rolled his eyes and took the package. "Yeah, sure. Don't worry about wishing me luck, every time you do, something bad happens."

Fry swiped the things he was to take on his journey and headed off into the wilderness, Leela yelled the warning to him again:

"Remember, don't touch any of the plants!" Her voice echoed through the valley they had landed in.