Title: Birdwatcher
Rating:
K+
Summary: A stranger in the woods behind Calvin's house could be a poacher after Hobbes! When they attempt to apprehend the villain, though, they realize they may have misinterpreted the situation…
Disclaimer: All of the characters from the original Calvin and Hobbes strip are the creations of Bill Watterson, and are used with the utmost respect (if not permission). The same goes for the brief appearance of Queen lyrics. This was written for fun, not profit.
Author's Notes: Here's the last chapter, guys. Enjoy!
When Calvin's mom went to look for him, she knew immediately where to find him—in his room. He'd been staying inside a lot lately, she knew, reading comics on his bed whenever she evicted him from his spot in front of the television. He rarely took that stuffed tiger of his and roamed in the woods, and she didn't think he'd gone to visit the new girl down the road for days.
He'd been this way for about a week, and she had no idea why. She tried to ask, on the second consecutive day he'd moped around in the house, and had been so vehemently rebuffed that she had no intention of asking again.
That was actually why she was looking for him now. The Robinsons were throwing a barbecue to celebrate being moved in all the way, an official welcome-us-to-the-neighborhood affair. Whatever funk he was in, his mother hoped that the party—or at least the mischief he was sure to cause at it—would be enough to snap him out of it.
She knocked on the door. "Don't come in!" Calvin yelled belligerently. "Hobbes is all ready to pounce if you try!" A pause. "Well, she doesn't know you really aren't! Shush!"
Calvin's mom shook her head, and sighed. "Calvin, you need to get ready. We have to leave for the Robinsons' barbeque."
"I'm not going!" Calvin yelled, predictably.
"That's fine," his mother said. "I've already called Rosalyn—she's willing to come over on short notice!"
There was a panicked yell, and then several minutes of frantic whispers and mutterings. She waited patiently, and it wasn't long before Calvin spoke again…just as she expected.
"If we don't go," he said slowly, "Rosalyn will come and babysit us?"
"That's right."
"…Then Hobbes and I will go.
Calvin trailed behind his parents, dragging his feet as they walked together towards the noise at the end of the street. Hobbes paced beside him, arms crossed.
"Well?" he said finally, the end of his tail flicking, when it was obvious Calvin didn't intend to say anything.
"'Well' what?" he asked belligerently.
"Are you going to apologize, or what?"
"No," Calvin said stubbornly. "I didn't do anything wrong. Jay was just being touchy. If she wants to ignore me, she can. I'm not selfish like she is."
"No, not like she is at all," Hobbes said, nodding even as he rolled his eyes.
"So you agree with me?"
"No!" Hobbes growled. "Oh, you are impossible!"
"Hmph." Calvin crossed his arms and looked away from the tiger. "At least I'm not selfish," he said stubbornly.
"I'm done trying to help you," Hobbes said. "Either you'll figure this one out on your own, or you won't." They walked in silence, and then Hobbes pointed. "We're here."
"So we are."
Calvin's parents knocked politely on the door, and it swung open. A very tall woman with dark hair and a bright smile greeted them. "Hi," she said.
"Hello, Mrs. Robinson," Calvin's mother said with a matching smile. "We're your neighbors—"
"From down the road, right?" she supplied. "Calvin's parents?"
"Notorious already?" Calvin's dad asked incredulously.
Mrs. Robinson laughed. "My daughter's quite fond of your son," she explained. She gestured them through the door. "Come inside, please," she invited. "And you must be the Calvin I've heard so much about," she said to him as he followed them inside. "And let me guess…Hobbes?"
"Pleased to meet you, ma'am," Calvin said without much enthusiasm. "Yes, this is Hobbes."
Hobbes smiled and bobbed his head. "A pleasure," he said.
"Hobbes is pleased to meet you too," Calvin relayed.
"Oh, he is just darling," Mrs. Robinson said to his parents, in that tone of voice parents always use that they think their kids can't hear. "Jaysa used to be just like that."
Both of Calvin's parents stared at her in amazement. "Really?" his father asked.
"Oh yes, she toted this stuffed peacock around with her forever," Mrs. Robinson said. "Talked to it and treated it like it was real." She looked down at Calvin again. "Why don't you run along to the backyard, dear?" she asked. "The food's out there, and I think some of the other kids from the neighborhood are here already."
"All right," Calvin said, not bothering to hide the sullenness in his voice. It's better than Rosalyn, he told himself, dragging Hobbes out after him.
Calvin's mom turned to Jaysa's. "Your daughter was like our Calvin?" she asked. "Really?"
"Well, not exactly like him," she admitted, laughing again. "Jaysa was always a well-mannered child, but she did carry Freddie around all the time."
"When did she stop?" his mom asked.
"Oh, probably when she was eleven or twelve," her mom said, looking thoughtful. "It was around then that she started the birdwatching, and started dragging around her binoculars instead of her peacock." She shrugged. "One kind of bird for another, I guess!"
Calvin's dad made a small noise of agreement and looked longingly down the short hall and through into the backyard. Calvin's mom was clearly interested in hearing more.
"Don't you think it's strange that…" she started. She trailed off, thinking about what she wanted to say. "Isn't Calvin a little young to be hanging around Jay so much? He comes over here nearly every day."
Mrs. Robinson frowned a little. "To be perfectly honest with you," she said, beginning to walk towards the backdoor, "Jaysa has so much trouble making friends that we're glad she has any at all, even if they're tiger-toting little boys with a penchant for trouble." She pushed open the door. "I don't mean any insult, of course; our daughter has had only good things to say about your son…er."
Something dawned on Calvin's mom. "Until recently?" she asked.
"How did you know?"
She looked across the yard, picking out her son more by the stuffed tiger's head bobbing over his shoulder than by anything else. He was standing alone in the shade of one of the trees. "Calvin's been acting funny lately," she admitted. "I haven't been able to figure out what's wrong."
"Oh, they had a fight," Jay's mom said easily, nodding her head. "Something about him only liking her because she acted more like a boy than a girl—I wasn't able to get many details."
"It's more than I got," Calvin's mom said. "I should have realized it—half the things coming out of Calvin's mouth after he met your daughter were, 'Jay says this,' and, 'Jay says that,' and, 'When Jay makes lunch, she does it this way, so you should too'. Then, about a week ago, nothing."
Mrs. Robinson shrugged. "Jaysa's been quiet, too," she said. "She just sits in her room and reads, or watches the birds through the window. I was hoping the party would draw her out a little…"
Calvin's mom laughed incredulously. "I was hoping it would do the same thing for Calvin!"
"Well, I have an idea," Jay's mom said. "Here, let me introduce you to my husband, and then I'll see if I can find somebody willing to run inside and fetch out my recalcitrant daughter…"
Hobbes had disappeared. Calvin had gone to get them a snack, and when he'd returned to the tree they'd claimed, the tiger had been gone. Now, instead of sulking like he'd planned to, he had to go and look for the stripey dope. He'd checked behind all the trees and shrubs, and now was headed for the tables. Maybe the tiger had decided to find a good hiding place closer to the food.
"Calvin, there you are!"
He groaned. It was Jay's mom, and his own was standing just behind her. "Yes?"
"Jaysa hasn't come out of her room yet tonight," she said kindly. "I was wondering if you could go up and get her? She might come down if she knows you're here."
"I really can't—I'm looking for—" Behind Mrs. Robinson, he saw his mother mouth 'Rosalyn', and sighed. "I'd be happy to," he said, as unhappily as he could, and trudged inside.
He knew where the stairs were, even if he'd had yet to be up them. He went up the steps; he could hear loud rock music blasting even before he was halfway up. At the landing at the top, he was surprised to see Hobbes, leaning against one of the doors with his ear pressed against it. "Hobbes?!" The tiger looked up and glared at him. Calvin stormed over to him. "What are you—?"
"What are you doing out here?" Jay demanded, flinging her door open and hopping back as Hobbes fell inside. She bent and helped him sit up, but she was staring at Calvin.
"Your mom sent me to get you," he mumbled.
"Well, you can go back down there and tell her to forget it," she snapped, letting Hobbes go suddenly and retreating into her room. Since she didn't shut the door, Calvin followed her inside, pausing to help Hobbes to his feet again.
All the times he'd been here, and he realized he'd never been inside her room before. He expected all the pictures of birds and dinosaurs, but the posters with pictures of rock stars and blazoned with a weird shield above the word "Queen" surprised him. The music—"scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the fandango?"—was rather deafening on this side of the door, issuing from a boombox on her dresser.
Jay flopped on her bed, one arm looping around a stuffed peacock and dragging it down with her. "Leemeelone," she growled around the bedspread.
"No," Calvin said, climbing on the bed next to her. "Why are you ignoring me?" He practically had to shout to be heard, and was grateful when Hobbes turned down the music. She lifted her head and looked at him and Hobbes weirdly, before dropping it again.
"I'm ignoring you because you're a jerk," she informed her bedspread.
"I was giving you a compliment!" he protested.
Finally, she sat up, drawing the peacock on to her lap. "A compliment?" she asked. "Calvin, I'm a girl. No girl likes being told she's more like a boy than a girl!"
"Really?"
"Yes! Girls like being girls, Calvin—at least, this one does. You like being a boy, right?"
"Of course!"
"Well, how would you feel if I told you I like hanging out with you because you…I don't know, knitted and baked?"
"But I don't!"
"What if you did?"
Calvin paused and thought about it, for a long time. "I guess…I wouldn't like it very much."
"Exactly." She watched him with suspiciously damp eyes. "Calvin, you're one of the best friends I've ever had, but if you're only going to treat me like a boy stuck inside a girl's body…I don't think I can be your friend anymore."
Calvin thought about this for even longer than he had the first thing. He remembered Calvin the dinosaur's dilemma with his prospective packmate, and remembered that he never had come to a conscious decision. But…he must have decided something, because he hadn't stopped hanging out with Jay until this past week—and he'd been miserable every day of it, too.
He looked over at Hobbes, who looked evenly back. "This one's up to you, buddy," Hobbes told him, spreading his hands.
"Can you understand that I'm a girl, Calvin?" Jay pressed.
Calvin nodded, and shrugged. "Sure," he said. "Sure, I understand that. No problem."
She smiled, and reached out, grabbing him in a hug just as strong as any of Hobbes', crushing the peacock between them. "I'm so glad to hear that, Calvin!" she said, a curious hitch to her voice.
"Ack!" Calvin pushed her away. "You might be a girl—deep down somewhere inside—but that doesn't mean you're allowed to indulge in any of that mushy stuff, got it?"
Jay laughed, and released him immediately, holding her hands up. "Sorry, sorry, I couldn't resist," she said. She grinned at him, and reached out to ruffle his hair, which only annoyed him more. "I solemnly swear to resist the temptation whenever it should arise."
"Good," Calvin said, hopping off the bed and making a show of dusting himself off. "Now come on. If I missed the hamburgers because of you, I might just have to get Hobbes to do something bad to you."
"Hobbes wouldn't hurt me," Jay said smugly. "He likes me. Besides, Freddie-baby could take him."
"Freddie-baby?" Calvin said.
"My peacock," she informed him, stroking the stuffed animal's head. "Freddie Mercury. He's my boy, and he's tough, I warn you." Calvin smothered a laugh in his hand, and saw Hobbes was doing the same. Like a stupid stuffed peacock stood a chance against a real, live tiger.
She swung her legs over the edge of the bed, setting Freddie aside as he did so, and looked out the window. For a minute, her face darkened. "Stupid party," she muttered. "The songbirds'll be traumatized for weeks!"
"But there's hamburgers," Calvin pointed out.
"Well, I do like hamburgers. Fine; let's go get some before the stupid grownups eat them all." She slid off the bed and gave him a shove. "Come on, little man, get a move on!"
"Hey, no pushing!" Calvin protested, even as he was shoved right on out the door. The sounds of their bickering faded as they paced down the stairs.
Hobbes leaned back against the dresser and sighed. "Boy, I'm glad that's over," he said, letting his head fall back and his shoulders relax.
"Tell me about it. I never thought I'd hear the end of her moping."
He looked up, and grinned. The peacock shook his wings out and stepped off the bed, folding them across his feathered chest as he regarded Hobbes. "You're with the little kid, I assume?" he asked. "This…Hobbes fellow I've heard mentioned?"
"Yes, I'm Hobbes," he said, holding out a paw. The peacock shook.
"I'm Freddie," he said. "Charmed." His head swayed on his long neck. "You want something to eat? Jay's got all kinds of candy squirreled away up here, and I certainly don't feel much like braving the crowds out there."
"I'd be delighted," Hobbes said, pushing the door closed. He crossed to the window and looked for Calvin's yellow head. He and Jay were already at the grill, bugging her dad for food. He smiled to himself.
Things had worked out in the end after all
Author's Notes: And ladies and gentlemen, there it is! The grand finale of "Birdwatcher"! I hope you all enjoyed it. I may revisit these characters again some time in the future, but as of now I don't have any sequels or anything planned. Would you be interested in reading one, if I were to write it?
A million, bazillion thanks to Mayhem Managed, who's been my most consistent reviewer. Yeah, it's over. Sorry?
All feedback is welcomed, as per usual. Let me know what you thought! Thank you for reading, even to those readers who never reviewed!