AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hopefully, I haven't stolen anyone's idea… it would probably be REALLY coincidental, though … totally. Lollipop, lollipop, oh lolly, lollipop! I hate that song…
1.Jack Black stars as William's long-lost brother, Gareth.
2.Elizabeth doesn't choose ANY 0of the three sexy men hitting on her because, apparently, she "doesn't want to hurt their feelings…"
3. Will's eunuch-ism is a main subplot.
4. Will's ass is a main subplot.
5. Jack's ass is a main subplot (it took me a loooooooong time to think of that one).
6. Jack gives up rum because "alcoholism is no laughing matter"
7. Jack gets out of the kraken as a woman.
8. Kevin Bacon has a guest appearance.
9. Ragetti's eye kills a man.
10. Commodore Norrington turns to prostitution.
11. EVERYONE dies, and comes back in the end of the 4th movie…
12. Somehow, Jack is found in San Antonio with a drag queen.
13. Oh my god, Norrington is the love child between Elizabeth and Davy Jones!
14. Jack accidentally kills Walt Disney's great-great-great-great-great-grandfather as a child, therefore, making sure Walt Disney was never born, and killing the pirates of the Caribbean… which unravels the space time continuum due to a disruption in the Time paradox.
15. Davy Jones turns out to be a naval officer back in 'Nam.
16. Some weird-ass candy maker named "Willy" haunts Jack's dreams.
17. Both Jack and Davy Jones are found dead: strangled by their own hair.
18. Will goes on a suicidal rampage after missing yet ANOTHER episode of "The OC"
19. The island cannibals perform a cabaret act.
20. They introduce ANOTHER hott guy that battle's for Elizabeth's sex. (Stop kidding yourself, that's what Will, jack and Norrington are REALLY after).
21."At World's End" is really in Seattle.
22. Barbossa is a raving Madonna fan.
23. Pintel and Raggeti will not be appearing in the movie because "Kingdom Hearts is just too damn addicting to do anything else".
24. Elizabeth decides to leave Jack and Will alone and prostitutes herself… oh, wait… that's a sign the writer's have common sense, damn… never mind.
25. Davy Jones folds underneath all the pressure to kill Jack and turns to LSD…
26. Jack has a daughter gasp!! and, three hundred years later, people write eerily similar and highly unoriginal fanfics. about it!! AUGH!!!!
27.The trilogy was all just a dream.
28. Barbossa becomes a stockholder and CEO of Youtube
29. Screw the plot, just have Jack and Will take off their shirts and WRESTLE!!!!! WOOOOOOO!!!!
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Yeah, I know that was only 29… but this is hard… and I'm lazy…i', trying to get my creative mojo aflowin' so... if u like it, review... POR FAVOR!!