Disclaimer: CLAMP owns them.
A/N: This is the second part of the Home series, set after Mutual Payment. This is also a 12-fics response, the theme being "blood".
The Sweetest Thing
Fay was hungry.
Of course, he would have never admitted it, but he was. He tried his best not to let it show. He felt like such a monster, depending on a human to stay alive.
However horrible he felt about it, however, he usually couldn't help but feed. While his willpower probably would have been enough to keep him from feeding, it wasn't enough to let Kurogane get hurt. The ninja knew this, of course, and used it on his advantage, always cutting his wrist open so that Fay had no choice but to drink just to avoid causing any further harm to the other man.
Right now he might even have fed without being forced to doing so, had Kurogane just told him to – he would, however, never be weak enough to actually ask for it. The problem was, however, that Kurogane would not ask him this time.
This was because Kurogane was not there.
Ever since he had started this journey, Fay had not been alone. Even when they had been separated, Kurogane had always been there. It was almost funny, really – why was it that he always got stuck with Kurogane? Now, however, it was not so. He had landed in the new world separated from his friends, including Kurogane. And this meant, quite simply, his death.
He couldn't say he was completely unhappy with this turn of events.
Ever since he could remember, he had wanted to die. At first he had attached some conditions, of what he wanted to happen before death claimed him. Now, however, those conditions had been forgotten, his other wishes for life fulfilled – or at least so he suspected. Kurogane would never say anything out loud, of course, the stubborn idiot he was, but his actions spoke louder than any words ever could have. At least it was good enough for Fay. Though the ninja may never have actually fulfilled his wish of having somebody to take him away and stay by his side, it was because Fay wouldn't let him, not because Kurogane didn't want to.
Fay could finally die. If only it had happened faster.
He didn't want to kill himself for two reasons. One, if he managed, and the others later arrived and found him, the princess would be upset to know he had done it, and upsetting Sakura was the one thing he never wanted to do. Two, he couldn't help but hope, with just one tiny sliver of his soul, that he might survive. That Kurogane would arrive, just in time, and keep him from dying.
He knew it was unlikely, of course. There wasn't much time left, he could tell that much. The ninja would have to appear soon, and considering the fact that the last time they had landed separated it had taken the others half a year to reach them, it was unlikely he would make it in time.
A tremor ran through Fay's body, and he smiled. It wouldn't be long anymore.
He did kind of regret it, though. There was a lot he still would have liked to do. It was for the best, however – at least he wouldn't burden Kurogane anymore.
Kurogane. The one people he least wanted to burden, aside from Sakura. And even that was only because he knew Kurogane could bear it better than the princess.
The ninja either truly cared for him or was more stubborn than anyone Fay had ever met. Either way, Fay only brought him misery. It couldn't be pleasant to have somebody sucking your blood regularly, giving nothing but nastiness and verbal and emotional abuse in return. Whatever were Kurogane's reasons for inflicting such torture upon himself, Fay would now free him of it.
Of course, he might have made it more pleasant by not being such a bastard towards the ninja. However, he couldn't just do that. Kurogane had ignored his wish to die, forced him to live when he had wanted otherwise. And nobody could force him to anything, not anymore.
Not even Kurogane.
The others would be better off without him, once they got over whatever mourning there might be. The clone would lose his magic, and Sakura would never have to cry over a destroyed world again. Kurogane would never be fed on again, and Syaoran… Well, he wouldn't have to bear the crimes of somebody else anymore.
He refused to think of whatever downsides there might be to them. Kurogane was more than capable of protecting the children even without his help. And as for the emotional side… Well, they'd get over it.
As for himself, well, once he was dead, he couldn't very well mourn, now could he? And if he simply kept telling himself he was doing the others a favour, he could bear it until death finally came.
He supposed it was simply natural that he kept thinking of Kurogane, considering his life and death were currently very much dependent on the ninja – or his absence, as it seemed to be. However, it still was somewhat of a surprise just how many thoughts of the other man filled his mind.
It did not come as a surprise as to what nature those thoughts were of. He was very much aware of his attraction to the man, just as much as he was determined not to give in to it. Now, curling up into a little ball as his body trembled with powerful shivers, his mind summoned images of Kurogane's strong arms around him, supporting him, keeping him warm and safe. The ninja's deep voice, telling him what an idiot he was, running off like that, only slightly betraying any emotion aside from annoyance…
No. Better abandon such thoughts. He was going to die long before Kurogane found him – if the ninja ever did.
He would have liked to know, though, just what Kurogane tasted like. Knowing the taste of the other man's blood much better than he'd have liked to, Fay could only wonder whether the rest of him was as alluring.
Of course, he could only blame himself. Kurogane had made his caring more than clear through his actions, and probably never would do so with his words. It was just his stubbornness and refusal to get close to anyone that stood in the way of their possible relationship.
That wouldn't be the case for long, of course. When he was dead, he could neither hinder nor help their feelings ever meeting each other.
Fay wondered what he would do if Kurogane did find him. Probably just lie there, dead as he would be… But if he were alive, what would he do?
He never quite reached a conclusion due to losing his consciousness.
When Fay woke up, he couldn't see. Well, he could see, somewhat, but his vision was getting hazy. Also, he discovered that getting up was a nigh impossible task. Therefore, he gave up trying, doing his best to curl himself up into an even tighter ball.
He was cold, and sick, and oh so hungry. Fortunately, this meant he wouldn't have to bear the torture much longer.
He didn't know how long he had been spacing in and out of consciousness. He did, however, know exactly what drew him back to semi-awareness.
The scent of sweet, sweet blood invaded his nostrils. Not just any blood – usually it had no more effect on him than it did on a human – but that particular blood that made him crazy with hunger. Opening his eyes, he took a moment to focus his gaze on the hazy figure in front of him.
It was Kurogane. Kurogane was kneeling in front of him, a glare in the crimson eyes, offering a slit wrist to his lips.
"You idiot, almost letting yourself starve," the ninja growled, half annoyed, half affectionate. "See if I ever let you out of my sight again."
Fay stared at the bloodied wrist. The sweet, sweet blood. It was just waiting for him to get it.
However, there was something even more tempting.
Thin arms wrapping themselves around the ninja's neck, Fay attempted to draw the other man closer but lacked the strength. Fortunately Kurogane cooperated, leaning forward with only the slightest bit astonished expression. Smiling faintly, Fay reached for the other man's lips with his own.
Kurogane tasted of sweat, rain, and sweet, sweet blood.