Staind singing in the corner: It's been a while …

Here's Manson, sorry for the delay, I was chasing Leprechauns with a fishnet. You know I don't own Soul Calibur…. With that said, On with the Show!

Chapter 4: European blend distress

As our beloved Abyss opened his eyes, his head hurt like nothing else. He was in a pristine room, to his side he could see the statue Talim forcefully attached ho his forehead and as he touched his head he had a band aid on his forehead. Sitting down he looked around.

"Where am I? Where is my scythe?" As he questioned himself, in came a mob of doctors with yellow notepads and sharpened pencils. They all sat around Abyss with no words said. One of the doctors raised a mug from Borders and drank its content before throwing it away.
"Coffee…?" Abyss asked with a demented look to his face.

"It seems we have a LONG way to go, Mr. Abyss…" The head of the doc mob commented as he curled his mustache. Abyss looked at his tag; his mane was Dr. Sevarius Freud, focusing underneath the name Abyss read: 'Insect psychologist.' Rising his fists to the heavens, Abyss let out an angry yell:

"SIEGFRIEEEEEEEEEED!"

-Somewhere in the hospital-

After taking care of the pending business he had with the bathroom, Siegfried and company walked through the halls of the hospital. Some commented the things they wanted to do, others simply rolled their eyes.

"Talim…" Yunsung called as the teen warrior counted her nickels and dimes in case they came across a vending machine.

"Yes?"

"Where did you get the paper holder you tossed at the best blunt objects." She commented as Cassandra looked at her.

"Ah, you mean, now they are a non-profit organization." And they kept speaking about the so called injury supporting website while Raphael approached Siegfried with utter disbelief printed on his French face. Meanwhile Sophitia tried to see if in their hospital quest, they could find a DNA lab to make sure if she was actually related to Cassandra.

"Can you believe them?" Raphael asked.

"Nope, I can't my dear Tuxedo Mask…" Siegfried replied as he took a left and they found themselves facing a door. The door read, Authorized Personnel Only. It was yet another dead end for our team of souls.

"This is getting us nowhere. – Siegfried sighed as he leaned on a close by wall. Every way they took just took them to places that were off limits. – Who would have thought a hospital was going to be so boring?"

"Look at what I found!" Kilik came out wearing a doctor's uniform. Perhaps that way they could walk around and nobody was going to ask questions. So the souls walked to the closet and grabbed the uniforms. When it was Sieg's turn, the only uniform left was a female nurse's uniform.

"Oh, no I am not…- He stopped his denial when he saw the mad piranha smiles on the faces of the girls of the clan.- Girls, erase that thought from your head." He demanded as Mitsurugi blocked his way so he could not get out of the room.

"Sieggy!" The guys whispered as the diabolical smiles drew on the lips of Kilik and Yunsung.

"Guys, n-no! I am not going to. You are supposed to defend me." He compelled to their manly testicular link while Kilik and Yunsung smirked.

"Bad things should also happen to the pampered child of Namco, Mon Cheri." Raphael whispered as he tied Sieg's arms with a strap to a pipe. Anyone who opened that door would definitely get the wrong idea and call the police.

"But, but, I defended you Talim from Abyss. –Siegfried struggled as he was restrained and could not help himself to his last bit of dignity. Still, Talim kept herself away from helping the blonde while Taki handed her cold hard cash for her bribed neutrality. - How can you say that, guys? I have to stand Tira, and Nightmare is trying to lease my body. You can't do this to me! – But no argument was working. His eyes widened as he was deprived from his work gown and he saw Xianghua licking her lips armed with Max Factor's Peaches and Cream shade lipstick and Cassandra was pulling out of her pocket a Cover Girl make up kit. – Take that away from me, Xianghua, don't! I will tell everyone you love to eat raw macaroni!" And then they gagged the poor German, all while Xianghua looked like a mad scientist and even got eye glasses and they shun evilly under the shaky light of the cleaning closet. She looked at Cassandra who started handing her the tools for the job and with an eerie smile; Xianghua faced Siegfried once more with a finger covered with foundation.

"Time to look easy breezy beautiful, Siegster!" She whispered with a shady smile.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

-In the Janitor's closet where Tira was locked with her Rubik's cube-

There was a sudden chill that ran up and down her spine as she dropped the cube. She was holding the flashlight between her shoulder and her neck and was sitting between a mop and a broom.

"My Siegfried senses are tingling! – She commented with a maniacal smile. Looking to the side she looked at the broom. – Ah Mr. Sweepy, wait until you meet the Vessel. He's so blonde and pretty, like a doll. –She looked at the mop. - What's that Lady Strings? You want to meet him too? That is so nice, we can all play together. MWAHAHAHAHAHA we can rearrange that pretty face of his…" And she kept laughing and laughing while clasping onto the cube of hell and the flashlight slipped from her grasp and broke.

"Aw, - Tira whimpered in the dark closet. - I fucking hate karma!" Then someone opened the door.

"Tira?" Nightmare was holding his RAZR phone and looking wide eyed at the girl in the closet, the voice of the vesseltor filling the utility closet.

"Master, it's great to see you. Mr. Sweepy, Lady Strings and I were speaking about playing games with the vessel…" She commented with insane happiness. Nightmare was freaked out. And let's face it; it takes a lot to freak out an empty armor inhabited by a vengeful spirit.

"Mr. Sweepy, Lady Strings….? Yeah, right, I think it is in the best interest of our Spirit/wretched servant relationship that you stay locked in this closet." And Nightmare closed the door and locked it and then placed a spiritual seal on the door.

"Master, MASTER! Please turn on the light so I can see the… - she stopped speaking. - UH, glow sticks!" Nightmare looked at the door and decided not to even wonder why there were glow sticks inside a Janitor's closet. And so he kept his way. As he disappeared around the corner, the Janitor came to his closet.

"Why can't I open the door? - He asked after at least trying five times with no success. He may need a hammer to open it. – Oh, Emilio-oh!" The Janitor walked away melodiously calling for a random Latino Handyman to open his closet.

Nightmare kept walking around the hospital with no luck in finding the rest of his work partners. Meanwhile, His arguments with the Vesseltor didn't cease the least.

"Listen to me… No… wait, Mark…" Nightmare tried to speak.

"Mr. Nightmare, why isn't it a good idea?" The Vesseltor argued back.

"I refuse to be known as the Armor formerly known as Prince!" And he hung up. Apparently the vesseltor got him a deal with someone who has turned his name into a symbol. As he walked, he saw the crowd of souls packed in a corner and dressed like doctors.

"Guys, I have been looking everywhere for you. Where is…- Nightmare stopped as he saw a beautiful blonde nurse with glossy peach lips and the strongest legs he had ever seen. The skirt she was wearing barely covered her reduced decency. - Siegfried?"

"Don't you even Dare!" The nurse, which now is more than obvious, is Sieggy, bickered. And as if compelled by a force stronger than himself, Nightmare fell to the floor crawling around with the mother of all laughing attacks.

"Wow, I have never seen a vengeful spirit inhabiting a hollow armor laugh so hard." Cassandra remarked as Talim took a video with her cell phone of the moment.

"How many vengeful spirits inhabiting hollow armors do you know, Sis?" Sophitia asked as she shook her head in denial. Cassandra just sighed.

"You enjoy my misery don't you?" Siegfried whispered as he made his biggest effort to stay on his feet and not on his ass because they even got him high heels. Cervantes and Yoshimitsu brought a stretcher and placed Nightmare on it because he passed out for laughing so hard. Sighing, Siegfried looked inside the pocket of his sexy nurse uniform and found a hospital keycard.

"So where to, Nurse Angel Siegfried?" Maxi asked as he fixed his lab coat and looked at Siegfried.

"Do you have a death wish, dandy boy?" Siegfried asked crunching his knuckles.

"Whatever you say Miss Krankenschwester (Nurse in German, if translated literally it means Sister to the ill)" Everyone began laughing but Talim who seemed to notice Siegfried was going to blow a fuse if they kept teasing him.

"Let's go!" Talim said taking the keycard and sliding it, she opened the dreadful door that kept them from having a wonderful day in the hospital.

"Siegster, those shoes make wonders for your booty!" Cassandra casually commented as the unconscious Nightmare chuckled on the stretcher.

"Didn't he pass out 5 minutes ago?" Mitsurugi wondered looking at the twitching armor.

"You know, if Idiots could fly, Namco would be an airport!" Siegfried regretfully said as they entered the wonderful land of Hospitals.

-Back with Abyss-

Abyss kept rubbing his fingers on his temples while the psychologists sighed in defeat.

"You will let me out!"

"Stop that Mr. Abyss, you are not psychic." Dr. Freud tried to talk some sense into the 'thing' that is Abyss.

"Dr. Freud, I can't find which species of insect he is?"

"A mimic perhaps?" A third doctor added herself to the conversation.

"Maybe we should call that CSI guy, he knows everything about bugs!" Dr Freud sighed and picked up the extension.

-Back with the souls-

Talim pondered profoundly while they walked into the forbidden zones of the hospital.

"Wait, Xianghua likes eating raw macaroni?"

What will happen next? Will Siegfried loose an ankle walking in high heels? Will Lady Strings meet Sieggy the mighty? Will Dr. Freud find Gil Grissom? All that and Pringles Chips in the next chapter of Emergency Room Fun!

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Well Guys and Gals, Sorry for the delay, I was locked in a mountain trying to rid the world of Vayne Solidor and The Occuria. But now…. Review answering time YAY:

To ShadowBlade2044: Thank you very much for noticing my work. It is always good to be recognized and even though I always find someone who likes what I write, I was not aware of the condition of the Soul Calubur Fics you expose. I am glad that in one way or the other my work stands out. Thanks for the review and I hope you liked this chapter as well.

heaven-monument: Hmm? Tea, I am not sure, I didn't think of tea. Now that you mention it I will take it to consideration. And thanks a lot for the coffee suggestion, Many many ideas tolling through my evil little head. Thanks for reviewing.

Alastor Sparda: Thanks for reading, and by the way don't you feel Rubik's cubes are evil? –shows one- Look at it, is so compelling and mysterious and….. –reply interrupted for authoress' falling in the claws of a Rubik's cube.-

Paladin Dragoon: Thanks very much, it's always good to know that I get to impress one of the souls that actually pointed out ways in which to improve my work/ Thanks a lot, hope you liked this one too.

Save Manah: My apologies, happens when you have no sleep for a few days…. LOL, anyhow, glad you like the chappie and thanks for the review.

Grabsalute: I am glad to be the first reviewed, makes my dark heart rejoice. Sorry about the hard to follow part, it's kind of an image of my thoughts…. I wonder if I need professional help. Thanks for reviewing.

Insanity Lord: LOL, thanks for noticing my insanity. Here you have more , thanks for reviewing.

pirra kusu: Short and concise, that is always good. Here's some more, thanks for reading.

AspasiaPyralis: Well, new name, same nice reviewer. I am glad you like it and the wee wee is important.

Klaira: Me is flattered, thanks for the review. And I am not sure on what Ivy has but if she was pregnant, then….. –all hell would break loose.- Yeah, that's how it would go. Hehe, please keep reading and reviewing.

Thanks for reading and please review…. Me lurv ya all… Toddles!