Title: Not So Charmed
Author: Cypher
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Main Character(s): Rodney McKay, John Sheppard, Lorne
Warnings: Minor Character Death, Slash, Spoilers for Season 2 and 3, Unbetaed, Fusion AU
Rating: PG-13
Summary: "Fire burned through his veins, and his heart felt like it was beating faster than a hummingbird's wings, and the last thing Rodney thought before slipping into unconsciousness was that something had happened to his sister."
Author's Notes: There's a superhero-themed story challenge going around, it seems. It inspired me to finish this fusion that's been sitting around for a while. It's an AU fusion with Charmed, but extensive knowledge of the show isn't manditory (there's one character from the show, but he's from season 7 and semi-minor). Enjoy!


Fire burned through his veins, and his heart felt like it was beating faster than a hummingbird's wings, and the last thing Rodney thought before slipping into unconsciousness was that something had happened to his sister.

Kyle, Jeannie's 'boyfriend,' appeared to him the next day in a swirl of white lights, and Rodney knew that once again, he'd been right.


"Christ, Rodney! You nearly died!"

"You're overreacting! It was merely me passing out from-"

"You scared your entire department! Radek was giving you chest compressions!"

Which explained the bruised ribs. "I was breathing!"

"Barely! I'm just saying you should stay-"

"What? In the infirmary? I'm FINE! You said so yourself! Every test you've given me has cleared me! I promise not to go to the lab, I just want to sleep in my own bed!"

Carson looked at him, really looked at him. It wasn't just the physician's glare, or even that of an angry friend. It was…was like the look he'd gotten after developing that anti-Wraith feeding serum that killed half a planet. "I dunno what happened to ye, Rodney. I'm afraid it may happen again."

"It won't." And he said it with enough finality that he knew Carson knew he was telling the truth, and Rodney was able to escape the infirmary in peace.


Neither of his parents had gotten the extra strand of genetic material, but both of his grandparents had been witches. They taught first Jeannie, then Rodney everything they knew, until Jeannie's power manifested in her teenage years. When Rodney found out he'd been born normal, he turned his attention from potions and spells to physics and astronomy.

He'd been born normal, and while disappointed, part of him was relieved. He knew he was destined for great things, but magic had never captured his attention like equations and stars could. He turned his back on his heritage, and never once looked back.

Jeannie lorded it over him for years.


"It wasn't nothing. Rodney, a nurse saw something glow near you, something that wasn't near any wall or on any table!" John's face soured. "Did an Ancient do this to you?"

"What? No!" Rodney pushed past the Colonel. He didn't get far, as John grabbed his arm. "Colonel!"

John's face was tense, voice low. "You scared me, Rodney. You screamed like your soul was being ripped from you, and Radek said you weren't breathing and…Jesus, McKay."

Rodney stared first at the hand on his arm, then at the pain in John's eyes. He couldn't reveal the truth, not now, and not ever. Not according to the rules. But then, if he didn't get back to his quarters soon, it'd be a moot point because Carson would run another blood test and then-

"Sirs." Major Lorne glanced at Sheppard's hand. "Colonel, Doctor Weir wants to see you. Something about a follow-up report on what device may have caused Doctor McKay's…situation."

John held Rodney's gaze another minute, before releasing him, nodding to Lorne, and walking away.

Rodney let out a long breath, relaxing slightly, only to tense up when the Lorne's fingers touched his shoulder. "Major."

"We should get to your quarters." Rodney frowned at the man. "I've got a Cleaner spell all set up. I just need you."


Rodney had found an ally in Lorne. Apparently, he was a witch, too, and had had a lot of practice blending in. Getting spell ingredients, Lorne explained, was easy, since Parrish was a practicing Wicca--with no actual magic. Rodney was tempted to ask about his background, his power; but Witches in the modern world didn't talk about such things, especially in places where cameras were around every corner.

It was like Fight Club. The first thing about being a witch is that there are no witches. There is no magic. They have to hide, because the world, the galaxies, aren't prepared to handle the truth. And Rodney was sure that if Jeannie could go almost fifty years without exposing herself or her power, Rodney could too.

Besides, it wasn't like he knew what his power was, anyways.


"You're spending a lot of time with Lorne."

John was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed, and pouting in a way that at other times Rodney would call cute. "He's helping me trace my family line."

"Lorne is a Canadian name?"

"No. But his great-great grandfather was a McHenry." Which was a half-truth. "The fact that his family moved south to experience the grand social experiment-"

"So why're you researching your family?"

To try and figure out exactly what power he had. "I thought it'd make a good gift for my nephew." Rodney picked up the small, hexagon-shaped device that fit in the palm in his hand. Its power was depleted, but it gave him an idea. Turning around, he grinned worriedly. "Wanna shoot me again?"

That caught John's attention. The man stood up, surprised, but a smirk slowly spread across his face. "Really? You found another shield device?"

Apology accepted.


Jeannie could clone herself, which would've been helpful on Atlantis--two Rodney's, twice the brain power, twice the work. His grandfather had been a transmogrification expert, which was the perfect way to hide from Wraith or Genii or Kavanaugh. While Rodney had gained his power upon Jeannie's death, though, it was merely activation, not inheritance. It turned out he took after his grandmother, and had the power of deflection.

Which wasn't too bad. It meant he didn't have to worry about bullets or Wraith stunners, but knives (unless thrown) and fists and Wraith hands were still a threat. But the dead device (and he wasn't letting anyone take a look at it) was the perfect scapegoat, and no one seemed to mind that he kept it on him (the genetic imprinting excuse still worked). Lorne had given him a look, a mix of disapproval and congratulations.

As long as he remembered to keep the device with him, there was no way he could be found out.


"McKay!" Rodney ignored the gun aimed towards his head, trying to figure out what to do without showing his hand.

The witchdoctor or shaman--Rodney wasn't sure which--was holding the dead device ("sacred talisman") and smiling at the renegade Genii soldier. Apparently, this lieutenant wished to continue Cowen's dream, and to do that, he needed someone who could build nuclear bombs.

"Cowen is dead," Teyla spoke calmly, but her weapon never wavered from the soldier. "Kidnapping Doctor McKay will not bring him back, nor will his plan succeed. There are too many Hives."

The man growled, then convulsed as energy struck him. Unfortunately, the soldier's finger squeezed the trigger and bullet did fire. Rodney ducked just as Ronon jumped forward. It was pure luck that the bullet ricocheted back into the body that was falling forward, rather than his friend.

Fortunately, Ronon hadn't noticed as he punched out the witchdoctor/shaman and helped Rodney to his feet. Within minutes, they were running back to the Gate, and Rodney glanced at Teyla and John, but they didn't seem to have any suspicious or strange looks on their faces. It looked like he'd gotten away with it this time.

After checking over their shoulders, John ran up beside Rodney. "Sorry about your toy. Guess it wasn't meant to be."

"Yeah, guess not." Rodney glanced back, and hoped he could find another trinket on Atlantis.


After an earthquake on the mainland, Rodney had discovered that Lorne had telekinesis. The child who'd nearly been crushed by the rock had been too terrified to report that the rock had just flown to the side against all the known laws of physics, but Rodney sure hadn't forgotten. It was such a blatant disregard of the rules, that Rodney had to call him on it later.

Lorne just gave him a look, one Rodney understood all too well; the "what was I supposed to do" look. When Lorne asked if his sister had ever saved innocents, Rodney had to honestly reply that he didn't know; they hadn't kept in touch. Lorne didn't understand, his family was huge and well-connected, and always used their magic to save innocents.

And Rodney somberly reminded him that sometimes exposure didn't turn out so well.


"You're lucky," Kyle held his hands over Ronon's back, palms glowing a warm yellow. "Another few minutes and he'd be dead."

Rodney glanced around, hearing John's shouted orders to the rescue team as they fought their way to the cave/jail cell. "I'm lucky they tried to use our own guns, rather than a knife." He kept his back to the wall. "When they saw me deflect that arrow…they just went ballistic."

Kyle finished his work and pulled out some silver dust from his breast pocket. "He see it?"

Rodney nodded. Ronon's eyes had widened when Rodney had unconsciously deflected the bullet, but he'd been shot moments later by the frightened natives. "Sometimes I wish they could remember," he said quietly.

Kyle blew the dust in Ronon's face. "So what actually happened?"

Swallowing the nausea that came with having to deceive his friend, Rodney raised his voice just a bit. "They tried to stone us to death. One hit Ronon in the head, I was able to duck in the shadows so most missed me."

Nodding, Kyle vanished in a column of white lights, and a minute later Ronon stirred awake. He was momentarily confused, then heaved himself up and leaned against the wall. Rodney waited for the runner to bring up the fact that he should have bullet holes in his chest, that Rodney had some strange power. Instead, Ronon grunted, "Sheppard's coming," and tensed, ready to help fight their way back to the Gate.


Later, Lorne told him he was very lucky to have Kyle. His own Whitelighter had abandoned him in the journey between the Milky Way Galaxy and the Pegasus Galaxy, and thus he was on his own. Rodney offered to share Kyle, but Lorne explained he was used to playing a human, and he would be proud to die defending Atlantis and its people.

Personally, Rodney thought plenty of people had died already, and silently vowed to sic Kyle on Lorne should the need arise.

It just meant he had to be more careful about unconsciously using his powers on missions (though getting shot in the ass made him seriously reconsider how important this was) and in Atlantis. He'd almost told Lucius thanks to the pheromone drug, which would've been an unmitigated disaster as not even a Cleaner spell would erase everyone's mind.

It was hardest to lie to his friends, though. Especially John.


"What did you say to those natives?"

Rodney rolled onto his back and half-glared at Sheppard. "You're asking this now? I'm tired. I'm sticky. I want to sleep."

John was propping himself up on one elbow, examining Rodney. "Normally the aliens want to kill us after talking with you. This time they came back smiling with a compromise." He ran a hand down Rodney's arm. "I'm just curious."

Rodney shut his eyes, but inside he worried. He'd used the Compromise spell, because they had been stuck on Narp (and what a stupid name for a planet that was) for three days with the aliens not budging. There wasn't any personal gain, it was to benefit Atlantis. And since the spell didn't backfire, obviously magic bought that excuse. "I just used my superior wits to make them see our side of the argument."

"You called them a bunch of narrow-minded simpletons who didn't deserve to procreate and contaminate the galaxy with their stupidity."

"And they saw the wisdom in my words." Rodney let out a long breath. "Can we just go to sleep? We'll talk about it in the morning." He felt John's eyes on him for another few minutes, then he heard a rustle of sheets followed by a warm presence against his back. He'd won the battle today, but Rodney was beginning to feel he'd lose the war.


There had never been any demons, either on Atlantis or on any of the planets they visited. Lorne speculated that magic had originated on Earth, and so evil liked to keep close to their source of power. Rodney believed that with the Wraith, demons couldn't risk appearing because they could be fed on for years before dying--a rather painful way to be vanquished.

They set the discussion aside to focus on more important matters, namely a joint team mission. Teyla remembered a legendary marketplace normally inaccessible because the Stargate was in orbit of the planet. It was a tale that was almost never recited, except to warn the listener to not use the address upon pain of death. So taking two puddle jumpers (after the last marketplace incident, one jumper would remain cloaked and ready to sweep in as backup), they had gone to the address to see if there was anything worthwhile.

Neither of them expected to run into the Demon Market on Krats.


"McKay, get outta here!" John struggled against the demon--who looked a lot like Ronon, though with slicked-back hair and solid black eyes. "Get Lorne-"

"Yes, get the other witch," the demon grabbed John's throat and squeezed, just enough to make the man struggle for breath. "It's been a long time since we've taken your lives. It's thought they were hunted out by the," a sneer, venom in the tone, "Wraith."

Score one for Rodney's theory. And while Ronon and Teyla were making headway (normal bullets wouldn't hurt a demon, but apparently sticks and knives did a masterful job), John was still being held helpless. "You think you can take two witches on?" John's eyes almost bugged out of his head, but Rodney ignored it.

"There are more of us. Hidden."

Rodney snorted. "I don't need Lorne to take you all on."

"McKay…"

"And can you stop us before we slaughter this innocent?"

"Innocent? He's killed fifty men with the push of a button. He's murdered countless people--and Wraith--all because he could." Rodney crossed his arms. "Hell, he helped me blow up five-sixths of a solar system! He's one of YOU!"

The Colonel was completely speechless, but the demon actually looked taken aback at Rodney's accusation. The demon's hesitation was all Rodney needed.

"From other worlds far and near, let's get him the trok out of here." Unfortunately, the only spell he could remember off the top of his head was one his grandfather used to mutter. Fortunately, though, it worked, and the demon screamed before exploding, sending Sheppard right into his arms. Steadying the man, Rodney looked at the stunned faces of Teyla and Ronon. "RUN!"

Practically dragging John behind him, Rodney decided to worry about the consequences later.


Later, he'd found out Lorne had uttered a Fearless spell in the cloaked jumper to boost Rodney's bravado. Lorne had cold showers and doors not opening for him for a week before Rodney finally forgave him. It did save John and his team, after all. However, Kyle didn't make a visit, and while the details of their encounter on Krats were left out of the post-mission meeting, Rodney knew the subject was far from closed.

Lorne was waiting for him in his quarters, both to stave off the coming panic attack, and to offer support when the rest of Rodney's team showed up. It didn't take long. John was first, of course. He stood at attention when he caught sight of Lorne, eyes narrowing dangerously, but he waited until Teyla and Ronon were in the room and the door was closed before the confrontation began.

In the end, it was rather simple. Lorne had said witches and magic were real, he and Rodney were witches, and it was against the rules to tell other people about magic, much less use it unless there was a very good reason. John's gaze on Rodney made him duck his head, but he nodded. Ronon and Teyla were wary, but mostly curious. Magic was a gift belonging only to the Ancestors, which made sense, and Lorne volunteered to take them to his quarters and explain some magical history.

Rodney would've rather had that job, though, as there was nothing left as a buffer between him and John.


"I should've known."

"Excuse me?"

"You're too damned smart, you pull off miracles-"

"I'll have you know that was all done with my brain! I didn't get my powers until-" Rodney took a sharp breath. "Until Jeannie died."

John at the decency to look guilty for a minute. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I couldn't."

"We're fucking! I think that gives me the right to know!"

"Oh please! The most famous witches in the world dated mortals constantly, and THEY never revealed their true heritage until marriage was in the future!" Rodney slouched on the bed, arms tensely crossed. "There's reasons for the rules, you know. Mortals can't handle the truth. Magic is as normal as…as…"

"Aliens and Stargates?" John sat beside him, shoulders almost but not quite touching.

"And imagine if the truth about THOSE came out."

John was silent, then he sighed. "I see your point." He reached over and rubbed Rodney's knee. "I wish you'd told me."

"I wanted to. You know I suck at lying." John chuckled at that. "If it makes you feel any better, I know Lorne's the only other witch. And, um, that blue glowing thing is Kyle, my Whitelighter." At John's raised eyebrow, he amended, "A, uh, sort of guardian angel. He heals and…erases memories."

John's face went rigid at that, hand retracted and tense, as if he was ready for an attack. "You're going to wipe our memories?"

"No! Nono, I mean…well, he did Ronon's, once." Rodney let out a breath through his nose. "You know, and it was in a fight with demons, so…he can't, really. He has rules too, you know."

"And we all know how you are with rules."

Rodney shot a glance at John, but found the stiff posture fading. "I'm sorry I…we lied. We didn't have a choice."

"And now?"

Rodney shrugged one shoulder. "You know, but I still can't really use magic. Not often, anyways. And never for personal gain." He waited a beat. "Uh, did I mention I'm sorry, for what I said? Lorne kinda cast a spell that made me…"

It was John's turn to shrug, but he moved closer. "It's no big." They were silent, neither moving closer, or making any sign they were going to leave. "So, can you and I, uh," John made a jerky hand motion between them that could've been 'come here' or 'off with his head!' Rodney simply nodded. "Cool." Another pause. "Hey, so Lord of the Rings-"

Rodney snorted. "Historically inaccurate."

"Harry Potter-"

"Tales of juvenile delinquents. They give a bad name to Magic Schools across the globe."

John grinned. "Wizard of Oz?"

Rodney fixed him with a glare, but there was no anger behind it. "My gnomish uncle used to hurl epithets whenever someone spoke its name. Something about munchkins being persecuted." And just like that, things were alright.


So maybe he and Lorne weren't the best witches in the galaxy (any galaxy), and maybe they didn't have the fame and power of the infamous Charmed, but with John beside him, friends at his back, and an understanding boss (John insisted they tell Elizabeth, which led to monthly witch-culture reports that, graciously, Lorne volunteered to do), Rodney decided it was a good life.

True, spells didn't work on Wraith (John had said it was worth a shot, personally, Rodney blamed the Ancients because he knew somehow it was their fault). And there were a number of times he wished the personal gain rule had been tossed aside, and Kyle was eventually reassigned so he no longer had a Whitelighter (though Kyle had obtained permission to summon Jeannie's spirit, which had scared the crap out of John).

All in all, though, it was a good life; especially since no arrow (or bullet) was ever shot into his ass again (though one time it had deflected into Carson's ass, but really, Rodney thought he deserved it).