"In the mirror, I saw it." The way Watanuki was speaking was odd, like he was confused and didn't know how to say what he wanted, but he continued on in his halting speech. "Friendship, and trust; I want someone to call me by my first name. So many little things, and I only had to reach out for them. They were here the whole time." He was still gasping for breath from his run, considerably weakened from the mirrors spell.
The archer tilted his head and shifted so he was a tad more comfortable in his awkward, kneeling position. So what exactly was Watanuki saying here? He pursed his lips and finally asked, "So what--"
"I want you!"
The surrounding silence was palatable and it was only after a few seconds that Watanuki realized just how it sounded. Red stained his cheeks, but he lifted his chin resolutely in a courage that he had scrounged up somewhere inside of him. "I meant…not just physically. I want to see your smiles when you look at me. I want you to be there for me." He cleared his throat a little awkwardly, seeing the stoic face and nothing more.
"I've never felt safe in my life and the only times I do are when I'm in Yuuko's shop…or with you. No spirits can enter through the warding on Yuuko's house, but it's when I'm around you that I feel the safest. I've never felt that around any other person before. And I wanted you to know that, because I want more than to just feel safe."
Watanuki bit his lip a little. Thank god that the windows to the school weren't facing in this direction, or he knew that they'd have had an audience of thousands and that would have shattered what little, and in short supply, courage he'd managed to wring out of himself to admit it all to Doumeki.
He refused to break eye contact; to look away discreetly with his blush like he'd always imagined Himawari doing. Finally, Doumeki moved a millimeter and a hand reached up to hold his chin gently. The stoic face became serious and his eyes suddenly so much deeper, leaving Watanuki to quake inside.
"All this, what you told me…that's the wish you saw in the mirror?"
Well, he had seen a great deal more than that, but in essence, it was the same. He nodded and watched as Doumeki thought some more in silence. Something was doing cartwheels in his stomach and having a gay old time tying it in knots with apprehension.
"Then it's something I can help with."
"I guess--"
His words became muffled when Doumeki's mouth touched his. It wasn't exactly Kiss of the Year. In fact, it was kinda clumsy, which was surprising since he would have expected Doumeki to have a lot of experience in that department. It was little more than a chaste touching of lips, but it sent shivers down his spine.
"I'll help you, then."
Watanuki blinked and focused on the world again as it expanded from solely thinking about those wonderful lips. He smiled, for the first time in what felt like forever. It wasn't one of those fawning ones he used to throw Himawari's way, nor was it one of the confident ones his mirror self had used. It was best described as almost shy.
Doumeki pulled both of them to their feet, Watanuki stumbling as dizziness swept over him, only Doumeki's hold keeping him from going straight back down. He felt weak, and he noticed the horrid state he was in. He wondered how he had gotten like this, but his memory since first finding the mirror was fuzzy and at best, in pieces. The only clear parts being what he had seen in that mirror. And he realized, that thinking about it didn't bring the desire to look into it; it felt strange.
"Come on." Doumeki said, wrapping an arm around the too thin boy's waist. Watanuki blinked in confusion. "Let's get you home, you look terrible."
Watanuki narrowed his eyes at the archer. "I do not!" He paused, cheeks turning faintly pink. "Besides, my apartment is a mess right now."
"We can clean it up, after we clean you up. When was the last time you ate?" Doumeki wasn't surprised that Watanuki's home chores had been tossed aside with everything else; in fact, he would be surprised if they hadn't.
Watanuki opened his mouth to yell at Doumeki, but then paused, considering his question. "I don't know…" He trailed off, trying to remember the last few days, hours, clearly, but it was like trying to catch dust moats.
"That's what I thought." Doumeki turned, pointing them to the front gate, and ultimately Watanuki's apartment.
"I can walk fine on my own, jerk." Watanuki tried to push away, but he didn't have the strength to break even Doumeki's considerably loose hold on him. "Or this is fine."
"My name is Shizuka."
Watanuki looked away, his hair falling over his face. "I know."
"Then call me by it, Kimihiro."
"Will I ever forget what I saw?" Watanuki asked, almost a month later, leaning on the broom he had been sweeping with. He had a lot of housework to catch up on, and Yuuko took pleasure in reminding him of it when she got the chance.
"Like all memories, it will fade with time; as you forget, though, try to keep in mind what you learned from it, if nothing else. That mirror showed you what not only what you wanted to see, perhaps, but what you needed to see." Yuuko answered, for once, serious; even if she never looked away from the cake she was studiously devouring. "Forgetting is up to you."
Watanuki only nodded, taking into account her words, as he went back to his sweeping. Yuuko might be an insane, over-indulging, drunk, but she was smart when it came to things that really mattered.
"By the way, how are things with you and Doumeki-kun? You seem to be spending a lot more time together recently." He didn't need to look up to see the grin spread across the witch's face, he could hear it.
"Things are just fine." He turned to face the other direction, sweeping a little more furiously than he had been only moments before.
"Oh, Watanuki, you aren't getting sick are you? You look flushed!"
"Just shut up." Yuuko's laughter rang throughout the shop.
I created this story with a friend of mine, Orochimaruhan on the xxxholic and the doumekiwatanuki livejournal communities. We also don't own xxxholic.