Disc.: I own nothing. More specifically, I also do not own the title of this story. I took it from a song by the New York band, stellastarr. Kudos to them!

Author's Note: This is technically the sequel to "Sirius Black's Journal," a story that I just finished and am quite proud of. While it's not necessary for the total comprehension of this story to have read "Sirius Black's Journal," I (of course) encourage you to read and review SBJ.

Background Information: (skip this if you've read SBJ) Sirius Black arrives at Hogwarts and makes his fair share of enemies, namely James Potter. Sirius records in his journal, presented to him by McGonagall as an outlet for Sirius' frustration, the trials of living in Gryffindor. Sirius also discusses in his journal his slowly forming friendship with Remus, James, and Peter, and the aftermath of his sister's suicide.

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Monday, January 1

(approximately 1 o'clock)

I wasn't going to write in this again, not after James and I patched things up. I guess I thought that this journal was a substitute for friends, and now that I have friends, I wouldn't need it anymore. But then I realized that there's just some stuff that is hard to explain except to silent paper. Everything was fine for the last weeks of term, but things didn't stay fine for long.

Going home over the holidays…I don't know. I still can't exactly figure out why I need to write this down. Being with the Black family was a joy, as always, and I think I'll need a few more years of therapy after dealing with them for the past couple of weeks. Not that there's anything new with that, but whatever. I did realize that as much as I trust my new friends, I can't tell them everything. Not yet, anyways, because nobody can really be expected to just deal with all my problems after only knowing me for a few months. That makes sense, right? I kind of have a lot of problems, and probably more than most people would like to cope with.

So, I decided that I might as well keep up with this journal. I've got a while before I'm shipped back to Hogwarts, so I guess I'll record the details of my lovely, smashing holiday.

I stepped off the train from school, expecting to be greeted by at least one stony-faced relative, right? I mean, even if I've shamed my family by being sorted into the wrong house…I'm still their son.

But, no. I was escorted to the mansion by a slimy little house elf. Apparently, I'm not even worth the company of other humans, even those as corrupted as my family. And when I got home, there weren't any angry faces waiting for me. There was no yelling, berating, or beating.

No one spoke to me the entire time I was there, until the day after Christmas Day. And even then, it wasn't my family that broke the silence. He did. I still can't talk about that, even to a stupid book…He's not worth discussing, and the things he and I said are neither true nor important. I'll deal with it later.

I knew that there was a reason I hate going home. Remus, James, and Peter spent the last days of school trying to convince me that it might be fun going home. Yes, they used the word "fun" to describe my family. They didn't (and still don't) understand what it's like there. There was just silence, for the whole time. It got so bad that I wanted to scream and shove my hand through a window.. They just pretended like I didn't exist.

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When Sirius Black stepped into Platform 9 ¾, he was noticed by three people.

The first two were a pair of young boys, laughing and grinning at the sight of their (somewhat) new friend. Their names were James Potter and Remus Lupin. In a flurry of motion, they raced towards Sirius and dragged him away from the sullen and grizzled house elf, who disappeared with a sickening pop.

"Hey, guys," Sirius said tiredly, still managing to beam at his friends.

"Wow, Sirius, not exactly looking your best," James said, ignoring the sharp poke in the ribs that his comment had warranted from Remus.

"Thanks, sweetheart. I feel the same about you," Sirius replied sarcastically. "Where's Pettigrew?"

"He's saving us a compartment on the train; let's go," James said, quickening his step.

As Sirius was rushed onto the train, the third person who noticed his arrival wwas a tall, thin boy with pale skin drawn tightly over his sunken features. His only remarkable feature, disregarding his abnormally long black hair, was his beak of a nose. As he watched Sirius' progression towards the train, this boy's thin lips twisted into a small grin. His dark eyes met Sirius' blue eyes.

"Snape," Sirius breathed angrily as he boarded the trains.

Remus pulled Sirius onto the train, and peered quizzically at his friend. "What did you say?"

"Nothing," Sirius replied. He pulled a grin onto his face, and grasped at something to distract Remus. "Hey, look at that. James is mooning over that redhead."

James snorted and ripped his gaze away from the pretty girl. "Am not. Gods, Sirius, this is the thanks I get for forgiving the little incident at the beginning of the year?"

"It's good to see that you don't hold a grudge or anything, James," Sirius said.

"Oh, sod off, you big pansy."

Sirius' harsh laugh sent several small girls scurrying into their compartment. "You're just upset that I'm a finer specimen of manhood that you…"

The two boys bickered easily as they hunted for an empty compartment. Remus cast Sirius' odd whisper from his mind (although he would have sworn that it sounded as if Sirius had said the name of a certain slimy Slytherin) and followed his friends into the last room of the train.

Sirius pushed James out of the way and slid the door open. "Morning, Peter. Glad to see that you brought supplies," Sirius laughed, nodding his head towards the small pyramid of candies next to his friend, Peter Pettigrew.

The four boys talked aimlessly about many things- girls, mischief, the teachers of Hogwarts, Peter's insatiable appetite for licorice, and Remus' inhuman delight in learning. As the Hogwarts Express approached the magnificent castle, talk turned towards the boys' respective winter breaks.

"Alright, boys," James said loftily. "Tell me about your holidays. Peter, you first."

Sirius snorted at James' pompous tone. "Yes, Peter," he smirked. "Pray tell us all about your divine holiday!"

"Oh, it was fine," Peter laughed thinly. "Just hung about the house, went into the town a bit…"

"Positively scintillating. Remus?" James said, feigning a yawn at Peter's bland break.

"It was busy," Remus said simply. "I read a few books, did some homework…"

James let out a mocking cry. "Remus! Such profanity."

"Yes, my ears are far too divine to be sullied by such a distasteful word. Homework, he says…That's just sinful!" Sirius said with a grin. Remus rolled his eyes and chucked a pasty at Sirius' head.

"Here, I'll tell you lot about my holiday. I had an absolutely fantastic time- New Years was especially exciting…" James said dreamily.

"What, you got a sip of the parents' eggnog?" Sirius said dismissively, interrupting James' reverie.

"Actually, I went to a Muggle party," James said coolly. "How about you, Sirius? What did the majestic Black do for the holidays?"

Sirius looked startled. "Me?"

"Yes, you bugger. Who else would I ask?" James laughed.

"I didn't do much…It wasn't anything special."

"Come on, Sirius. You had to have done something!"

"Nope, boring as one of Remus' books."

"I take offense at that," Remus muttered.

"Yeah, right. I doubt that you'd spend your holidays sitting at home drinking hot chocolate with your parents. Like I said, you had to have done something."

Sirius looked out the window as the train came to a halt. "Well, I didn't! Damn it, James, just leave it alone!"

James looked mildly shocked, but he quickly busied himself with changing into his robes. Even though James had only truly known Sirius for a couple months, he had quickly learned that when Sirius was angered, the only way to calm him was to let him go. Peter and Remus quietly pulled their robes on, and Sirius followed suit, although he did manage to rip the sleeve in the process. He grabbed his trunk and walked up to the castle, a solitary figure pulling a heavy wooden trunk up the path.

Remus, James, and Peter watched as Sirius disappeared over the first hill in the path. "Why didn't he wait for us?" Peter asked.

"Because James was being a prat and set him off," Remus said through gritted teeth.

"Oh, come on! Remus, you can't pawn this whole thing off on me. He's always been edgy…"

"Yes, and that's exactly why we have to watch ourselves when we talk to him! He still isn't used to having friends, James. We've talked about this a thousand times- you'll anger him, and he won't come back."

"Whatever, Remus. I'm not going to tiptoe around Sirius- he's just the same as us," James said as he stomped off toward the castle.

Remus shook his head and bit his tongue, following James and Peter up the dusty path. He knew that Sirius was very different from his friends, and subsequently he had to be treated with care, at least until Sirius had integrated himself completely into his new life.

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Tuesday, January 2

Obviously I haven't gotten used to this whole 'friends' thing. Why did I snap at James? He was just asking after my holiday, and it's not like I've opened up about my family. I can't blame James for everything…

But, still. It wasn't his business to be so damned curious about things.

I don't know what to say. I guess I should go and find James, but I'm not apologizing. I don't have any reason to.

But, actually, James is the least of my problems. I've got to sort out the situation with Snape. He looked at me, when we were getting onto the train, and I know what he was thinking. He'll tell everyone about what happened, about what I had to say…I'll have to talk to him. But first I have to figure out what happened during the break, and I guess that means writing it all out.

Okay. It was the day after Christmas, and my parents insisted on having a few family friends over to show off all their new gifts. So Regulus and I were ordered to make ourselves presentable (although this was after my dear parents debated for quite some time as to whether or not I should even be present), and then report for duty. The Dunns, the Cunninghams, the Malfoys- they were all there. And, of course, pureblood politics demanded that my parents invite the Snapes, even though my parents consider that family to be rather completely undignified. That's probably the only point on which we agree.

I've never liked the Snapes, and I've been forced to "play" with their youngest, Severus Snape, for years. I hate him, because he has absolutely no personality- he just spouts out his parents' anti-Muggle blather- and he's just not the sort that you'd want to be friends with. Both my mum and father think the Snapes are selfish social climbers (remind you of anyone?), but it would be a "grave social error," to use my mother's words, if we ignored them.

That's enough about the Snapes. Severus' parents aren't terribly important; they're actually very boring. But Severus is a completely different matter, because he…Well, he knows things. Stuff about my past, about my family situation. So when I cam to Hogwarts, and was sorted into Gryffindor, I tried to take things easily. At first my plan was to be as civil to the little rat as I could without looking like a lovestruck child, but I screwed up that pretty quickly. Took my anger out on him quite a few times, and he retaliated by threatening to proclaim my past to the world. Ended up in the hospital over him…

I didn't hear too much of Severus during the months before the holidays, and I assumed that he was just leaving well enough alone. That was stupid, and I guess I'm paying the price for my idiocy.

Oh- James & Remus here- Finish later.

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"James," Sirius said clearly. He set down the black leather book, and looked up at his friend.

James stepped reluctantly into the dormitory. Remus looked at the two boys, who were apparently engaging in a fierce staring contest, and silently left the room. He shut the door and wandered into the common room to get a bit of homework finished.

As Remus stepped into the common room, James sat down on Sirius' bed. "You know," he began, "part of me says I should be right pissed with you. You can't just shut down like this whenever something doesn't go your way. I'd even rather you tried to hit me than being forced to wait you out. At least then we could thrash this out…"

"So you mean you'd rather get beaten up than have to wait for me to talk about my feelings?" Sirius said harshly. As much as he tried, he simply could not keep the defensive tone out of his voice.

"Yeah, I would! You know I'm not patient, and I'm not like Remus- I hate talking about stuff like this."

"I'm not asking to talk about it; you were asking me."

James sighed tiredly. "No, I was asking after your holiday. We're friends now, Sirius; we don't have to kill each other every day."

"Yeah, I know. Look, let's just forget it?"

"Fine," James agreed. "Want to head down for some dinner?"

Sirius cast a quick glance at the black book, and then at James. For a moment, it looked as if Sirius might refuse James' offer of supper, but that moment passed. "Sure," Sirius said. "I'm actually kind of hungry…"

James and Sirius stood up and left the dormitory, joking loudly about some Hufflepuff girl who had lit her hair on fire in Charms that day. As James leaned in to shut the door, his eye was caught by the sight of the plain black book on Sirius' red comforter. He frowned slightly, but held his tongue. The matter of Sirius' dependence on that journal was something he'd rather not discuss now, not after he had just managed to pacify Sirius' pride.

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Author's Note: I know that it's a bit of a slow start, but I had to set up some key issues that, as you can tell, will come into play later on in the story. I'm sorry if it comes across as a filler chapter. The next chapter, which I'll get up ASAP, will probably me mostly (if not all) journal entry, as I've got to get out the rest of the details of Sirius' break. After all, you didn't expect that everything would be just peachy at Hogwarts, now that James and Sirius are friends, did you? ;-