I'm back!!!! Yeah, how long has it been since the last update?

Well I finally have an update, it's not exactly good, but its an update, which is good enough. I hate that there are so many good Pendragon fics but they're never updated.

Also, to all those who reviewed: YOU GUYS KICK ASS!

And I mean it, not literally, but you guys rock! So keep those reviews coming, and I hope you enjoy whatever pathetic update I've thrown together for you.

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R: Good Morning World!

V: That is the dumbest title I've heard.

R: Well at least it's better than your 'evil plans'.

Oohh that was a burn Voldie.

V: Don't call me that! And where in Salazar's name is that voice coming from?

I thought you were smart? I'm the sexy narrator.

R: Ugh! Why do you keep saying that?

Don't hate me 'cuz I'm beautiful.

R: You are you so annoying.

Somebody's the jealous type.

R: If you were a real man you'd come out and say that to my face!

Dude, have you seen what you look like?

R: That's it we're having a show down right now!

Easy there, is that time of the month already? Geez I gotta get a calendar in here.

R: AAAH!

SD: Now, now don't get you boxers in a knot we'll deal with him later, right now you're in the middle of interviewing us.

Reporter jumps back like Harry when he sees Moaning Myrtle.

R: Saint Dane! When did you get here?

SD: I was sitting here the whole time with Pendragon and the Potty kid.

HP: It's Potter.

Saint Dane snorts with laughter.

SD: You actually respond to Potty?

Harry looks down at floor trying to look innocent but we all know that's not true and his plan isn't working very well considering I'm narrating everything.

HP: It's an old habit.

BP: Hey, do these socks make my ankles look big?

Silence.

BP: Well?

Still silence.

BP: Come on, a guys gotta know whether his ankles look a little wide.

It's still silent, well except the part me saying it's silent it's still silent.

BP: I'm serious.

When will this kid realize no one is going to respond to a question like that?

V: Well I think they look fine, but those pants don't do much for your thighs.

Never mind…

R: Ahem, anyway. Welcome to all the listeners and viewers of our show, that was just a little skit we were practicing there so don't change the channel.

He laughs nervously hoping the viewers and listeners will buy it but we all know he's just trying to keep his job, which he by the way sucks at.

R: Oh wait till I find out where your office is.

Enter sexy but haunting laughter here. You will never know.

V: So do we get introduced?

R: Sure, so the bald guy with no nose, basically a bad version of Micheal Jackson, is Voldemort.

Voldie waves to the camera not realizing he's just been insulted but then again, he is pretty stupid.

V: What?

R: Never mind the narrator, and the creepy tall guy who looks too good to be a villain is Saint Dane.

SD: Hellooo.

SD smiles and tries to fake a British accent. That was weak man.

R: Uh…and here the kid with the freaky cut on his forehead and round glasses is Harry Potter.

Live audience goes wild.

HP: Thank you. By the way it's a scar, and I like to be known as the Chosen One, but the nicknames The-Boy-Who-Lived, and your Highness works too.

Well somebody's a little full of himself, and to think I thought you had a nice ass…damn I said that aloud didn't I. I have got to stop thinking out loud…I wonder if you could dip cheese in chocolate, or what Voldemort would look like if he dressed like bunny…

R: Uh…

I said that aloud didn't I… $$

V: Was that a real word?

SD: I'm not sure, hang on.

Whips out a dictionary.

HP: Um why does your arch nemesis carry a dictionary?

BP: I'm not sure but I had always assumed that was…

HP: Assumed it was what?

I don't think we want him to finish that sentence. Gah! The possibilities. Ah, my head is filled with mental images! Make them go away mommy!!!

R: …and the last but not least, Bobby Pendragon.

BP: How come I didn't get a description? It's cuz I'm fat isn't it? You think I'm FAT! YOU ARE SO INSENSITIVE!

Wow, you really did it this time.

R: B-But all I said was his name.

You don't think do you?

Bobby sobs into his handkerchief…There, there did the mean man hurt your feelings.

R: But all I-

BP: Stop!

R: I only-

BP: Don't say it!

R: This job can never be easy can it?

You could always quit, so I can take your place and lead this show to brilliant places.

R: No, that's okay. Continuing on. Today we're going to meet-

BP: Hey Saint Dane do you shine that thing?

HP: I bet he does, when we duel I'm pretty much blinded when the sun glints of it.

Saint Dane looks utterly confused… wait that's his usual expression.

SD: Yo Potter we've never dueled what the hell are you talking about?

HP: Must've been in my nightmares…and did you just say "Yo"?

Yeah, I heard it.

BP: I'm serious though I can't see.

Harry searches through his robes…he could've worn normal clothes for this interview…anyway, he takes out two pairs of glasses.

HP: Here use this.

BP: Thanks man.

HP: No prob.

BP: Hey Voldemort has Dora Boxers?

What the-

HP: Oh crap these are the x-ray glasses.

Bobby looks at the audience.

BP: Hey Harry look the red head in the audience isn't wearing a bra.

HP: Ooooh nice….wait, WTF that's Ginny, my potential girlfriend. Gimme those back.

Potty snatches back the glasses.

HP: It's Potter.

Do I care?

BP: What do you mean potential girlfriend?

HP: You know if I don't die in the war I'm might marry her.

BP: Cool.

Some red head storms up to the stage.

Ginny: What do you mean you might?

HP: Well I gotta keep my options open.

Ginny: What options?

Crack Pot is now looking really nervous.

HP: It's HARRY AND I'M NOT NERVOUS I WAS JUST SAYING IT.

Okay…but why the hell are you yelling?

HP: sorry…

Ginny: Well??

HP: Well what?

Ginny: You never answered my question.

HP: What question? Oh that's a nice shirt.

Ginny: Really? Thanks.

What the hell? Does anyone notice the topic change? This show is so messed up.

R: Uh, well as you can see we have Ginny Weasel here with us.

Ginny: I thought my name was Weasley?

R: Oh okay, so we have Weasley with us here today.

Ginny: No, Weasley's my last name.

R: Whatever, so Harry how does it feel to be dating her?

Better yet, how's it feel to date a female version of your best friend?

R: Shut up! I ask the questions around here, so what's it feel like dating a female version of your best friend?

Harry looked scared and nervous. He's looking at the red head with a really weird expression, I think he's going to throw up.

BP: Whoa what's that?

Bobby Pendinkle points at the stick Winny's holding up.

Whoa!!

Whats with the flash of light? What did you do to that glasses kid?

Ginny: There, I put a memory charm so you could forget the question he asked.

HP: Was it really that bad?

Ginny: Well it could've potentially ruined our relationship.

HP: You mean it was perfectly good excuse to break up?

Ginny: Yeah….. I guess so.

HP: Dammit it woman! Why'd you put a memory charm on me!

Ginny: Well I thought you loved me.

HP: Well I used to love cats too but then I grew allergic to them.

Ginny/BP/SD/V/R/narrator: WTF??

HP: People change, and in some cases, people develop allergies.

Ginny: So are you saying you want us to break up?

HP: What? No! Free sex man, whores are expensive these days.

BP: Yeah, tell me about it.

A tall blonde has just come out of the secret door near the stage. Wait. Have we always had that door?

Courtney: A how would you know Bobby?

BP: Courtney? What the hell are you doing here? I mean- how nice to see you.

Courtney, rolls her eyes. Um, Hellooo, who is this chick? And when did we get that secret door?

HP: Yeah who is she?

He's obviously interested.

Ginny: Ahem!

HP: What's wrong with you? You got a cough Ginny? Anyway, who's the babe, Bobby?

Ginny: Ahem!

HP: Seriously, go get a cough drop. So, how did you meet the hottie, Bobby?

BP: Oh, she's kinda like my ex-girlfriend.

Courtney: Yeah after you had a sudden love interest with Loor.

BP: What? You weren't there, and besides she rejected me anyway.

Courtney: Yeah, I know, I just like hearing you say it.

R: Ah, Courtney and Loor. Bobby's two love interests. Let's bring Loor out here.

Another girl steps out from behind 'the door'. She looks like an Amazon goddess. No one answered my question, where the hell did that secret door come from?

R: Welcome to the show Loor. This is Courtney, and Courtney this is Loor, but you already knew that.

Courtney glares at Loor.

Courtney: Home wrecker.

Loor: Excuse me? I rejected him remember.

BP: Can you please stop repeating that.

HP: Wait, so this means they're both available?

Wow, he's a horny one.

BP: Yeah, pretty much.

HP: Sweet!

Ginny: AHEM!

HP: JEEZ WOMAN! GET A COUGH DROP OR SOMETHING CANT YOU SEE I'M CHECKING OUT SOME GIRLS HERE?

Uh oh, I think she's gonna-

Ginny: YOU SON OF A-

We interrupt this program to show the following messages:

The program is brought you by, Wand Enlargers, because every Witch loves a Wizard with a BIG WAND.

Volde-Loops! The greatest new cereal, created by Lord Voldemort! It's fruity goodness will have you wanting more.

There-may-be-some-side-effects:-has-special-brain-washing –potion-to-convert-everyone into-death-eaters-and-I'm-being-forced-to-narrate-this-commercial-so-I'm-saying-this-part-quickly-just-don't-eat-the-cereal-its-evil-pure-evil-also-voldemort's-ugly-Hi-Mom!

We now return to your program.

Viewer Discretion is advised. The following scenes may contain a stupid reporter, a kid with a scar, profanity, and really cheesy humor. Please do not watch for your own safety.

Whoa, I didn't know we had commercials?

R: You're the narrator shouldn't you know these things?

Whatever. Anyway, the red head has be escorted out to the back parking lot. We may never seen her again. ON A HAPPIER NOTE I just bought some Volde-Loops! This cereal is actually good!

V: Heheheheh…

Why is he laughing maniacally? Hmm….Volde-loops, why does the name sound so familiar?

V: Muhahahaha-(cough)(gag)(choke)(die)(live)(cough)

….

V: Stupid Cold!!!

R: UH, anyway, let's get back to the show- Ah!

What the hell was that?

HP: Yeah? What is that sound?

BP: Is the building going to blow up?

It sounds like some kind of army is approaching us.

SD: I'll go check.

Saint Dane just left through the secret door. For the love of God! When did we get that door?!!!

Loor: What is that mysterious voice?

Courtney: Some annoying narrator, you'll get used to it.

Hey! I'm not annoying!

R: Finally someone who agrees.

Courtney and the stupid reporter high five each other, Hmph!

Oh Saint Dane's back and he seems to be terrified.

R: What's outside the studio?

SD: You were right, it is an army.

HP: An army? Voldemort are your death eaters attacking us?

V: Whoa, that's a good idea, why didn't I think of having them attack during the show?

BP: Well if they aren't death eaters, what are they?

SD:….They're…they're…..they're…..they're…

OH JUST SPIT OUT MAN!

SD: THEY'RE FAN GIRLS!

HP/BP/SD/V/R/Courtney/Loor/dog in the audience/Narrator: AHHHHHHHH!!!!

Why are they coming? How are we going to protect ourselves? And how are we going to finish the show? More special guests were going to come!!

R: We'll have to do it later, fan girls are hard to fight off. EVERYONE PREPARE FOR BATTLE!

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Yeah, sorry about the quality of this update, it's pretty boring. I wrote it a while ago, it was supposed to be longer but I just couldn't stand not putting something up, so I decided to just leave it.

Rest assured the next chapter I GAURANTEE will be SOO much better. Honest! Pinky swear!

Anyway, those who've already reviewed, you guys still ROCK!

If you're tired of waiting for me to update this, check out my other fics, specifically "100 ways to Annoy Voldemort".

Oh and be sure to vote in this years mtv EMA's, even if I'm not an obsessed fan of Tokio Hotel, I want them to win the Inter-act and Band section, because honestly they're the only good choice from those categories. Anything but letting Fall Out Boy win.

That's all for now. Chao.