Reporter: Good morning everyone watching this TV Show or listening to this radio program. Today we are interviewing a villain- (handed a cue card) A great supreme villain of all time with a great sexy a-okay I am not reading that buddy. Anyway here's Saint Dane.

SD: Hello.

R: So as we saw a few seconds ago you are a dirty minded villain.

SD: Wha-? No!

R: You gave me the cue card.

SD: Well know one listening to the radio would've known.

R: We have this on live TV too ya know.

SD: Sh(Bleep)

R: Well, anyway. People have been wanting to know whether you were evil at the beginning of you life.

SD: Well I've evil for so long its hard to remember.

R: Well are you like Ainikin Skywalker?

SD: Actually yes, me and him are like his (crosses fingers).

R: You're a couple?

SD: No!

R: So you guys are queer?

SD: No, we're close friends!

R: Friends eh?

SD: …

R: Anyway, why did you join the dark side?

SD: What? Why wouldn't I? It has its perks.

R: Like?

SD: Cookies.

R: Cookies?

SD: Chocolate chip.

R: (Gasp!) OMG!

SD: I know!

R: I like so totally want to join the dark side now!

SD: See.

R: Are they the ones with the raisins and the- (ahem) getting back to the interview. People want to know whether you have met with Voldemort before.

SD: Of course! We villains know other villains. My and Volds knew each other since we were in diapers. Sometimes he does my dirty work and I do his.

R: Really?

SD: Yeah, we usually switch places too. It gets boring fighting Pendragon sometimes, so I switch over to the kid with the glasses….

R: Harry?

SD: Yeah that's it.

R: (whispers) Back to the cookies, where can I get some?

SD: (looks around) My people will call your people.

R: Ah, yes. Smart plan.

SD: Ofcourse, I am genius.

R:Uh…yeah, that's what they said about Voldemort, but he was defeated by a baby.

SD: Hey, I wasn't in his place at that time. That screw up was ALL him.

R: Right…Well we have Voldemort here with us right now.

Curtain opens and Voldemort comes with a dramatic appearance. Smoke surrounds the stage and the live studio audience coughs uncontrollably-

(Ahem)

Reporter gives narrator an evil glare which makes him look like he's got something in his eye and-

(Ahem)

Fine, fine. I'll stop, but I am the narrator you know.

Saint Dane stands up and goes over to greet Voldemort who has the smell of smoke around him.

SD: So good to see you lad.

V: As am I.

SD & V: Muah Muah

R: …Um…uh hi You-Know-Who.

V: Oh please call me Voldemort, everyone does.

R: Right, even though your real name is Tom Marvolo Riddle.

V: Don't call me by that hideous name.

R: Oh and Voldemort is any better?

Voldemort stands up irritably but SD controls him

SD: Haha, sit down old buddy. Don't let anger get the best of you.

R: (coughs nervously and glares at narrator for announcing at that, and still continues to glare, and the narrator gets the hint and shuts up…for the moment anyway) Anyway SD was telling us you two switch places sometimes and do each others dirty work. Is that true?

V: OH yes, we've switched many times. I've fought that boy, whats his name again? Pendidle? Dragonboy?

SD: Pendragon.

V: That's what I said.

R: Well what times have you switched?

V: Well I was there when that boy went to First Earth, of course Dane here doesn't know much about the Earth's history so I helped him out there.

SD: Yeah but you still lost me that territory.

V: So, you lost the other four territories on your own. I didn't help you fail. I mean come on, he's only a child and you lost 5 territories to him.

SD: Well at least I didn't disappear for 13 years when I tried to kill a baby.

V: Yeah well FIVE Territories and he hasn't even gotten the powers you had.

SD: A BABY! He didn't even know his name let alone the number of spells you knew. Mr. The-Man-Who-Let-The-Boy-Live.

R: Uh…we'll take a brief break here…

SD: I'm not done yet.

V: Yeah well neither am I.

SD: DON'T YOU DARE POINT A STICK AT ME!

V: YEAH WELL DON'T YOU DARE CHANGE YOU APPEARANCE INTO MY MOTHER.

SD: Well what you gonna do about it?

V: This!

SD: Well bring it on Mama's BOY! OH look there's you DAD!

Voldemort spins around.

V: What I thought I killed him.

SD: Haha its just me!

R: UH…UH…UH…

Reporter stammers with a loss of words. He has no idea what to do, mainly because he doesn't deserve this job and I do, because I'm sexier that him, but no one ever sees the narrator. Uh…Reporter advances toward the narrator behind stage with his hands outstretched ready to kill…Hey you cant do that…Put down that knife! Please I'll give you all my coupons for free coffee. Gahhhhh!!!!

Stay tuned after these messages…