Disclaimer: Naruto ain't mine. Damn.

O-Wabi

Chapter Three

Kakashi hadn't felt this miserable since he'd run out of new Icha Icha books to read. It wouldn't have been so bad if Tsunade had been chewing him out for no reason. He'd been chewed out before by, oh, just about everyone: his peers, his students, various one-night stands, his teacher, his family before they died, his barber, the lady at the local soba shop… Kakashi knew he was just the kind of guy who got under people's skin sometimes. His rapier wit, devastatingly good looks and impressive book collection just inspired too much envy for it to be otherwise.

The problem with this situation was that, well, Tsunade had a point. Couldn't he have done more for a girl who had entrusted her life and future to him? When Sakura had aced tree climbing, why hadn't he given her more advanced exercises? When she had put herself bodily in-between Naruto and Sasuke to keep them from killing each other that horrible day on the hospital roof, why had Kakashi just patted her on the head like a puppy instead of showing her ways to help without killing herself? The mistakes he'd made were clear, and he couldn't even say it was just inexperience as a teacher that had led him to make them. If it were the fault of inexperience, that wouldn't be so bad. Sakura was alive after all, and he could start giving her training now to make up for it.

No, the really disturbing part was Tsunade's other accusation: "Do you just not like this girl?" Hearing that was like being punched in the gut. It wasn't true, couldn't be, that his own bias against Sakura's personality had influenced how he'd trained her could it? But if it wasn't true, then why had so she eagerly gone looking for a new teacher the second her teammates had left? Was it just because Tsunade was stronger and more experienced than he, or because she couldn't bear to be around Kakashi and his apparently awful treatment of her any longer?

Lacking any answer Kakashi did the most manly, courageous thing he could think of and went out of his way to avoid the problem. He came across Sakura three times in the week following Tsunade's big blowup. The first time, he'd held Icha Icha Violence up so close to his face that he couldn't read the words, let alone see Sakura. This worked, though he unfortunately failed to see the pole he ran into as well. The second time he turned to a random woman next to him and pretended to be deep in conversation with her. The third time, with no book or people around to hide behind, Kakashi had done a kind of pirouette to turn down a side alley.

Avoiding Sakura was difficult enough, but the entire situation was made worse because Kakashi was now being besieged everywhere he went by Guy Might. His self-proclaimed rival seemed to have decided that Kakashi needed to be treated with the delicacy of a terminally ill cancer patient and was doing his best to show up wherever the Copy Ninja was. Kakashi couldn't turn a corner without being blinded by that disturbing smile and an unnaturally gentle "are you all right, my most esteemed and honored friend?" It made Kakashi long for Guy to start yelling challenges at him again, but apparently the Beautiful Beast had decided it was his manly duty to rescue Kakashi from his own depression.

Not generally a man who let himself wallow in negative thoughts, Kakashi had decided to start avoiding Guy too in the hope that the other man's constant love of new challenges would carry his thoughts away from him in time. The best way to do this would be to go on a mission, but when Kakashi tried to approach the Hokage's office he had been intercepted by a horrified Shizune who had told him in no uncertain terms that he should stay away from Tsunade for the next few days. So it was back to his apartment where there was no escape from his dark thoughts. Great.

He was not given long to wallow, however, because Sakura showed up on his doorstep before the second day of his semi self-imposed house arrest was over.

Kakashi was sitting on his beat-up and very comfortable couch flipping through TV channels and contemplating taking a nap when there was a knock at the door. Scowling, Kakashi lifted himself off of his couch, crossed his room, and pulled open the door. There stood Sakura in the doorway. Her huddled pose suggested that she'd just broken something priceless and was waiting to be murdered.

Kakashi's first impulse was to shut the door rather than bear that look. Before he could Sakura had stuck a small wrapped gift inside the door.

"I'm sorry!" She cried.

Kakashi blinked. Then he blinked again. Then he said, "What?" Wasn't this backwards?

Sakura looked up from the deeply apologetic bow she had sunk into. "Aren't…aren't you mad at me? You've been avoiding me for over a week!"

Well shit. Kakashi gave a deep internal groan. By not paying attention to Sakura he seemed to have messed things up again. There went the running and hiding plan. But he couldn't invite her in, could he? If Tsunade found out he'd been alone in his apartment with Sakura she'd throw a fit. He was in enough trouble already, thank you very much.

Kakashi steeled himself and said, "c'mon, let's go to that new yakiniku place near Ichiraku. I'm hungry." He was, too. With his exhaustion completely dispelled by nerves he realized just how hungry he was. He hadn't been eating properly since this whole mess began. Besides, walking over there would buy some time while he tried to figure out what to do.

Without looking at his companion Kakashi stepped outside, fumbled for his key, realized he'd forgotten it inside, ran in to get it and locked his door. He set off down the street and made no allowance for Sakura's shorter legs. He knew she'd be keeping up, because he was just unlucky that way. What the hell was he supposed to say to her? I'm not mad at you; I'm just ashamed for screwing up your training? Sorry I'm such a shitty teacher you had to find a new one? This was worse than trying to comfort Guy after Lee had been flattened in the chuunin exam.

They reached the restaurant and there was no more hiding possible, so Kakashi did the next best thing and sat in silence. The nameless restaurant was thankfully not a tachigui, but it was the next lowest form of eatery with a dirty floor and almost no room. Kakashi realized he'd been hoping that the place would be packed so that there'd be too much noise for a proper conversation. Unfortunately, in the middle of the afternoon the place was nearly empty and Kakashi was left to grow more and more uncomfortable as he tried to think of something to say. Sakura was no more at ease; she shifted around in her seat and looked everywhere in the tiny excuse for a restaurant except at her former teacher.

Kakashi badly wanted to break the silence but it was Sakura who finally did by pushing her little apology gift across the table towards him. Kakashi shook his head and pushed it back. "You've got nothing to apologize for."

"No?" Sakura looked at him with such a childishly hopeful look in her eyes that Kakashi felt like hitting himself for making her feel so bad. "Really? Because I've been thinking about why you've been pirouetting into dead-end alleys rather than look at my face and…and it goes back to when I became Tsunade-sama's apprentice. So I thought maybe it's because I became Tsunade-sama's apprentice? I mean, if I were a teacher and my student suddenly tossed me aside for another teacher, that would feel really crappy."

What a gift with words she had. Kakashi found himself grinning slightly under his mask at Sakura's total lack of eloquence.

Sakura took heart at the grin and plowed on. "So I wanted to explain why I left at least! That it wasn't you being a bad teacher or that I didn't like you or anything."

Kakashi finally found his voice. Even if Sakura was giving it for the wrong reason, this was reassurance he wanted to hear. "No?" He asked simply, his face in no way betraying any emotion as usual. To Sakura, he looked like the same lackadaisical man he always had.

Sakura shook her head vigorously, pink hair flying in all directions. "No way! You've always been great to me! I always felt like, when you and Sasuke-kun and Naruto were around, I'd be safe. Y'know…protected. Taken care of. Wherever I was, or whoever we—well, you—were fighting, it didn't matter 'cause I'd be all right." She stopped talking to grin at him for a minute, and he grinned back. Her smile was infectious as always. Though Kakashi couldn't bring himself to put his relief into words, he was relieved that she wasn't hostile towards him.

Sakura abruptly stopped grinning and looked down at her lap. "But it's not about me. In the chuunin exam everybody got hurt and 'cause I was depending on them to save me, I couldn't help them. And then Gaara used me to bait Naruto and I wasn't strong enough and that put Naruto in danger, and then I couldn't stop Sasuke-kun from leaving…" To Kakashi's utter horror he saw that Sakura's lower lip had begun to tremble. Oh please don't cry, he thought, almost panicking. Oh please, not here in public.

Fortunately a significant distraction arrived in the form of their food. Breathing thanks to the almighty first Hokage for the miracle of good timing, Kakashi pulled down his mask long enough to take a bite and then pulled it back up. Sakura was still distressed enough that she didn't notice. She took a couple of deep breaths to calm herself down before taking a bite and continuing her monologue.

"So, I realized how much I'd…I'd enjoyed being dependant." It obviously cost Sakura a lot to admit this; she turned bright red and twisted her hands in her lap so hard Kakashi was surprised he couldn't hear a squeaking noise. "Oh that's so pathetic."

Given that her words had to do with her shortcomings rather than his own, Kakashi found it easier to find something to say. "Of course it's not. All humans want to be taken care of."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "All girls."

"No, men too."

Sakura looked confused. "What? But boys get ticked off if you try to coddle them."

Kakashi snorted. "In a fight. But what do you think the point of having a housewife is? At the end of the day a man wants to go home and let his woman take care of him. Cooking someone's food and looking after his needs is a different area from body guarding, but it's still taking care of someone." Kakashi sighed. "Believe me, figuring out that most of the women in this village will punch me out before making my dinner was a bitter pill to swallow. And you may never tell anyone I just said that." He could already imagine the beating Anko would give him if she ever heard what he'd said.

Sakura giggled and looked down (Kakashi used the opportunity to take another bite of his meal) studying her hands and apparently thinking over what he'd said. "Well okay. Not pathetic, but still impossible right?"

She looked up at him with a tiny glimmer of hope in her bright green eyes, but Kakashi wasn't going to lie to her about something so crucial. "In our profession? Yeah."

The hopeful glimmer died, but Sakura rallied herself almost immediately. "Right. Well if I liked being dependant, I hated being useless! My teammates lives are just more important than the swoopy fluttery feeling being rescued by Saskue-kun gave me." Kakashi nodded his agreement and waited for her to go on. After looking at her lap for a moment (Kakashi took another bite) and taking a deep breath, she did.

"So now do you see why I had to go to Tsunade-sama?" Sakura bit her lip and the pleading expression was back. "You're so nice to me and so forgiving and make me feel so safe that I just never…I'm lazy, Kakashi-sensei! If someone isn't pushing me I won't go and I have to go! There's no other way now. Sasuke-kun and Naruto are going to die if I don't. It just can't be about me anymore." Sakura gave a chuckle that was so miserably bitter that Kakashi almost felt his own heart break. "Not that it ever was, but now I can't even pretend. Your guys' lives are just too important." She blushed as she said so, but didn't look away from Kakashi's face this time.

Kakashi wasn't sure whether to feel more proud of her or ashamed of himself. Had this strong, compassionate and well on her way to becoming capable girl always been underneath the whiny, selfish, useless Sakura he'd thought he'd known? Had she just needed the right mentor to show her the way?

You didn't believe yourself to be worthy, Kakashi thought. Sakura, you gave up on yourself before you even began and so I gave up on you too. But if you have the balls to shake off your deepest fantasies and your unworthy mentor and the compassion to come and find that old, stupid, unworthy mentor and comfort him even if he doesn't deserve it, then you more deserve to be a shinobi than anyone I've met since Obito.

Can you even begin to understand how brilliantly you're going to shine?

…If I don't get in your way.

Kakashi wanted to tell her all these things, but couldn't find the words. Instead, all he could do was take her apology gift from the table and place it firmly in front of her. "Don't apologize to me for acting to protect the lives of my students. I have been drilling you since day one to do exactly that." But thank you for coming to comfort me.

Sakura broke into a brilliant smile that lit up her entire face and such relief shone in her eyes that Kakashi found himself smiling back and reaching over the table to pat her on the head. It was horribly condescending and he'd sworn to himself not two seconds ago that he wouldn't do that anymore, but she was just so adorable he couldn't help himself.

From the way Sakura smiled wider, it seemed she didn't mind.

Tsunade was not as forgiving as Sakura. Shizune's advice saved the Copy Ninja from a lifetime of hauling dirt piles back and forth, but couldn't quite change Tsunade's mind that Kakashi might be better off away from Sakura while the girl trained. Kakashi agreed, and did not fight when the Hokage began to post him on many distant missions. At the dinner table he had been unable to resist patting her head, and she had been unable to resist enjoying it. As long as they were teacher and student, however much Kakashi tried to fight it, he knew he'd wind up coddling her. Sakura would wind up allowing it too, because some small part of her still wanted to be taken care of. If she was going to grow, Kakashi knew he had to be away.

So he stayed away. He kept busy, and he avoided his old student, and he waited for the day when the girl he'd had a hand in raising would fight next to him as an equal.

He couldn't wait.

FIN

AUTHOR'S NOTES: To answer a reader's question, I'm writing Guy Might as Guy Might instead of Gai Maito for the same reason I'd write Rock Lee instead of Rokku Rii. I read and watch Naruto in raw Japanese, so I'm basically translating as I go along. If I screw up somehow, please lemmie know; my Japanese is pretty good but it IS still my second language.

Tachigui literally translates as "stand eat" and it's exactly what it sounds like. They are places in Japan with no room where busy businessmen go after work to grab food while waiting for a train.

As ever, any comments, criticisms, corrections and anything else you guys can come up with is welcome. If you love the ending, I'm thrilled. If you hate the ending, please lemmie know why so I can do better with the big wonking epic I'm going to write next.