Barkis sticks sword into Emily. She takes sword out of ribcage and points it at Barkis.
Emily: I couldn't resist mate.
Victor: Isn't that my line?
Gutkneckt: The words are binding you until death 'till you part.
Emily: What are you saying?
Gutkneckt: Death has already parted you.
Emily: Oh. Well, good work, Mister Obvious.
Finis: We shall continue with the wedding with or without Vincent
Maudeline: Victor.
Finis: Look! He looks like Vincent. He's got big eyes, eyebrows pointed upwards. HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE?!!!?
Maggot: You don't have any friends. Nobody likes you.
Emily: Not listening. I'm not listening.
(Sorry, the bit where she's telling him to shut up reminded me of Gollum/Smeagol.)
Emily: Pardon my enthusiasm.
Victor: I like your enthusiasm, saavy?
Emily: Huh?
Victor: Damn! I gotta stop doing that!
Galswells: Have you remembered to bring the One Ring? Oops. I'm not Saruman anymore.
Emily: You're married to me. She's the other woman!
Gutkneckt: You know, it's not too late for you to file for a divorce.
Maggot: If I hadn't just been sitting in it, I would say that you'd lost your mind
Emily: Hey, I just married a rich Johnny Depp lookalike. I'm trying to be optimistic here.
Village boy: Grandpa?
Corpse: No I'm Uncle Charlie, Grandpa's still coming back there. Arthritis.
Gertrude: Alfred? But you've been dead fifteen years.
Alfred: Frankly my dear... I don't give a damn
Gertude: Shhh! It's a PG movie!
Alfred: You think they noticed?
Victoria: Oh stuff my parents, they're horrible! Come on, let's elope we'll take some of your parent's money and start a new life elsewhere!
Barkis: Emily? I... left you.
Emily: for dead.
Barkis: gasps Oh! I see it all now!! Oh lord what a horrible person I am! Please please forgive me I'll turn myself in to the constable right away!
Victor: " Victoria. Wait you don't understand. She's dead. Look!"
Victoria: "Hey! I can see that she's dead. She held out that bare-bone arm of hers. So you don't have to wave it around to prove an already obvious point!"
Finis: (to Nell) You're fat.
Nell: Yeah? So are you.
Paul: "My name is Paul. I am the Head Waiter."
Victor: "Oh great! Another decapitation to inspect."
Emily: "Wasn't that Ichabod Crane?"
Victor: "Oh. Sorry. I was having a bit of an identity crisis."