What I Want

Chapter 13

Ginji couldn't believe that Ban was here, in the middle of an obscure road, in the pouring rain. The sheets of water refused to subside, and only the moon managed to provide light to the lonely landscape below.

"Ban-chan…" Ginji breathed a sigh of relief, as he walked in the direction of his comrade. "Ban-chan, I've been so worried about you, everyone has! Natsumi dragged me all over the city looking for you today," he smiled as he neared his friend, "Why are you out here?"

"What are you doing here?" Ban demanded, keeping his gaze on the road, rain pouring all around.

"What? Oh, I'm on a recovery assignment. Hevn had it for us, but…you weren't there so I took it on my own." Ginji replied, caught slightly off guard by Ban's abrupt question.

"Go home, Ginji. I told you that the Get Backers were dead and gone." Ban said, cigarette illuminating his face, turning away from the blonde.

"But, Ban!" Ginji began, "You still haven't answered me, what are you doing out here? Are you working with the transport team I'm after?" Ginji furrowed his brow, contemplating the scenario. "Why are you doing all these things? Why are you doing everything you can to go against me…what happened to us, to you? Why don't you want to be with me?"

Ban tensed up. It wasn't that he didn't want to be by Ginji's side. In fact, he really wanted to be with him. He wanted things to be normal again, nothing spectacular, but normal. He wanted to tell his friend that everything would be okay, that their next meal wouldn't be a problem, and that he would always be there for him. But he couldn't. He didn't want to be open with Ginji, but at the same time, he just wanted to apologize for everything.

"Ginji…" Ban began.

"Y-Yes?" Ginji stammered due to the sudden breaking of silence.

"I'm sorry." Ban finished. He tossed his cigarette on the ground, stepping on it to put it out, only to walk away from the one who he desired to be with the most.

"Ban-chan…Ban, BAN!" Ginji shouted, running after the brunette and grabbing onto his shoulder, spinning him around to face him. "That's not going to cut it!" Ginji grabbed Ban by the collar, pulling him close. Ban drew back as best he could, and turned his head so as not to meet Ginji's piercing gaze. "I'm not going back without you, Ban."

"You should go back with him…" the thought hammered against Ban's brain. "You would be much happier… You need him."

"Damn it, Ginji, get the hell off me!" Ban growled, removing Ginji's grasp from his collar with quite little effort. He didn't know what to do. He knew what he wanted to do, and it was so out of character for him, that he could hardly even fathom the thought himself.

Ginji just stared at Ban, unsure of what to do. He didn't want to fight him, but at the same time, he was so angry at his partner for keeping everything from him, he wanted to unleash an electric wrath upon him like no other. Moving his line of vision to Ban's face, he could see the pain in his friend's eyes. This was rare. Very few times had Ginji ever seen this look on his friend's face, and it seemed to wash away any frustration Ginji had. The moonlight reflected in the brunette's pained eyes, and cast shadows over his face, giving him a mysterious air. The rain had him drenched from head to toe, and his wet hair fell down around his face as well. He looked…confident, yet hurt at the same time. Ban shifted in his position.

"What am I going to do? I thought I made up my mind about this, so why am I so uncertain?" Ban fought with himself "Why do I need him, when he doesn't need me, why can't I just let him go!" Ginji saw Ban's jaw clench.

"Ban-chan? Ginji whispered, inching closer to the struggling man. "Ban-chan, please tell me what's bothering you. If we talk about it, I'm sure we can figure things out."

Ban backed away. He was in a corner…in a corner in the middle of an open road, and he was certainly not used to this. Normally, he could just fight his way out of tight spots, but he wasn't going to just go and deck Ginji so he could escape.

Ginji could tell Ban was straining to sort his thoughts. This was uncommon for the collected Ban Midou, what on earth could be causing him this much trouble? Ginji knew one thing though, that he hated seeing Ban like this, and he hated being apart from him.

"Ban-Chan," Ginji began, moving quickly towards his sopping wet partner, embracing him, "please don't leave, I need you."

Ban's eyes opened suddenly, and faintly gasped at what Ginji had said.

"He needs me?" Ban thought. He angled his gaze towards the man embracing him, confused at what the former emperor had so easily said, three words that he, the great Ban Midou, could never bring himself to say to anyone. No.

"Ya, right." Ban chuckled with an air of cruelty. "You don't need me…" He plucked Ginji's arms off of himself, taking a step back.

Ginji was a bit shocked by this response; it was not quite what he was expecting.

"What are you talking about Ban-chan?" Ginji implored, "Of course I need you!"

How was he able to say these things so easily? Ban couldn't wrap his mind around it, he could hardly even say those things to himself, let alone out loud to…him.

"Why?" Ban muttered.

"Why what?" Ginji replied.

"Why are you doing this? Why are you making it so fucking hard on me!" Ban's voice rose in volume. "I'm trying to help you, I'm trying to do what's best for you, and you are just making it so damn difficult, I don't know what to do anymore!"

Ginji didn't know how he was supposed to respond. He didn't even know what it was he was doing. All he did was tell the person he was closest to that he needed him. Did Ban hate him that much?

"Ban-chan…do you hate me?" Ginji whispered.

The scowl on Ban's face immediately subsided. Was this what it came to? He had gone so far as to make Ginji think that he hated him? He had gone so far to hide his feelings from his friend, that he almost destroyed what little bit of a relationship they had left. Ban straightened his posture, and shook his head in disapproval at himself. Things couldn't get much worse than this.

Ban shuffled through his pockets searching for the cigarettes he managed to find and bring with him. It was a shame, he enjoyed smoking, but nowadays it seemed to be more of a coping mechanism, or rather a stress reliever of sorts. Fortunately, he found one that was still somewhat dry, despite his soaking state, lit it, inhaled, and sighed the smoke out. He turned to his former partner.

"So, you think I hate you?" Ban began, turning, making sure to look Ginji dead in the eye.

"Well, I mean, I was just asking because-" Ginji began, but was cut off.

"Do you think it or not?" Ban's voice had an air of irritation to it.

"I…I don't know! The way you've been acting, the way you've been pushing me away for the past while, I don't know what to think!" Ginji replied, his eyes glancing every which way.

Ban could tell that Ginji was getting upset, more so than he initially was at least. He knew Ginji well, and he knew Ginji would never hurt one of his friends for his own benefit. That's why Ban had to do it for him.

"Go back." Ban said, calmly. "Go back to the Limitless Fortress."

"I'm not going back, I don't want to." Ginji replied, keeping his footing in the argument.

"Then you would rather stay with someone who hates you?" Ban asked the leading question, glancing at Ginji's face for a response.

Ginji wasn't sure how he was supposed to handle this; he glanced down at the shimmering road, watching the raindrops splatter all over the asphalt.

"Is that what you want?" Ginji asked, voice wavering slightly.

Ban winced at this slightly, it wasn't what he wanted, it wasn't anywhere close! But he knew what he had to do, he knew he had to make the decision for the saddened man in front of him.

"Yes…" Ban murmured, turning away abruptly. He couldn't stand this; he had to get away from it. He breathed out some smoke, and after a pause, he began to walk, yet again, away from Ginji.

Ginji wrestled with what Ban just said. It was the exact opposite of what he wanted to hear. But, why would Ban ever reply in the way that he was hoping for. Ban would never change his mind in the middle of an argument, it would probably hurt his pride, or something like that. He was hiding something…and Ginji wanted to know what. Ban wouldn't break up the Get Backers without a good reason, and even though Ginji had screwed up a few things, there's no way Ban would take his anger this far.

"Liar…" Ginji's eyes narrowed, "Liar! Why are you lying to me, Ban!" His voice rose, and it was laced with anger.

Ban stopped in his tracks. He did not expect Ginji to retaliate, normally the blonde accepted Ban's word, but apparently this wasn't going to be so easy. Ban turned around to see Ginji glowing, glaring at him. Sparks ran up and down the former emperor's arms and legs, trailing around his body and through his hair. He was pissed.

"I know you're lying to me," Ginji began, calling out due to the distance between them, "I know you, apparently better than you gave me credit for."

"Shit," Ban hissed, not anywhere near loud enough for Ginji to hear. "This was NOT what I planned at all…and I already used the Jagan on him once today..." Ban clenched his teeth, agitation was apparent in his eyes. "I only wanted what was best for you, but now I guess I have no choice..." Ban started walking towards the electrified man with a vague silhouette of a serpent beginning to form around his right arm.

Ginji could tell that Ban was not going to back down, he never backed down from any of their fights, so what was going to make this one any different. Ban was getting closer, he was walking fairly casually, and if not for the fierce look in his eyes one would not have thought he would be prepared for a fight.

Frustration clouded Ginji's mind, not to mention hunger, plus with the rain obscuring his vision, his focus and rationale were severely lacking. Upset at the situation, he issued the first attack. He stretched out his right arm, palm facing he who approached, and let out a steady stream of electricity. The sparks danced around the road, spreading out every which way due to the rain acting as a medium of travel.

Ban easily evaded, jumping out of the line of fire, and appearing a few feet to Ginji's left. The attack wasn't anything serious, just a sign that Ginji was in fact going to fight.

"Ginji, we don't have to fight like this." Ban stated, trying to avoid hanging around any longer than he had to, "Just go back to the Limitless Fortress, and forget about the recovery service, you know neither of us have the energy for this."

Thunder rolled through the clouds, and a flash of lightning lit the sky and surroundings. Ginji wasn't going to let this go, that was apparent. Ban spat out his cigarette, letting the rain douse its remaining embers. He had a plan, it was going to cost him, but he was pretty sure he could pull it off.

"No, Ban-chan…I'm going to figure this out, even if we have to do it the hard way." Ginji replied, sending out sequential shots of electricity at Ban, who dodged them all with ease. Ginji repeated, and Ban followed suit. "Why aren't you fighting back?" Ginji provoked, "Do you not think I'm good enough for you to fight?"

"Great, he's thinking like THAT now…I've really made him upset this time, he never actually tries to provoke me…" Ban concluded, a little miffed by Ginji's statement. The sounds of thunder occurred more often than before, and lightning seemed to constantly be illuminating the road. "And now he's gonna conger up a storm…great." Ban gave a crooked smile, this worked to his advantage.

"Ginji!" Ban called out due to the rain pounding the asphalt harder than before, all the while evading Ginji's increasing number, and strength of attacks. "Ginji, go back to the Limitless Fortress! This is the last time I'm saying this to you." Ban warned, appearing right behind Ginji, "Go back to where you're actually needed…" he whispered into the Blonde's ear.

"I'm sick of not feeling needed," the thought flashed through Ginji's mind, his gaze turned sharply behind him, spinning him around and causing him to stare right into his friend's eyes. "I'm sick of Ban pushing me away! I can't stand being alone! I don't want to go back there!" it seemed like hundreds of thoughts, and emotions were pounding against Ginji's mind, "WHY DON'T YOU NEED ME ANYMORE!" Ginji yelled, placing his hands on Ban's shoulders, and with his frustration, summoned forth a massive column of lightning from the sky.

"Perfect…" Ban cracked a smile, narrowing his eyes, preparing for the impact.

As the electricity engulfed the two, neither of them could see anything due to the sheer brightness of their surroundings. Ginji could still feel Ban's shoulders.

"Why didn't he move? Why is he still here? He could have avoided this! Ban-chan!" Ginji felt a wave of panic come over him, "Ban-chan? Ban!" Ginji questioned urgently, calling out over the sound of the sizzling electricity surrounding them. He then felt Ban's shoulders move from his grasp. The electricity soon dissipated from around him, and he saw the person who he so desperately wanted to be with, laying in the puddles on the road, completely still.

A/N: Surprise! I wrote a new chapter! Well, I'm sure you knew that, you just read it! I actually wrote this chapter about a year ago (don't hurt me!), but I didn't feel all that good about it. So, after I read the fanfic all the way through (so I could remember what was going on x_x), I started editing and rewriting this chapter. You should be happy though, it's about 2.5x longer than it was initially. I would really like to finish this fic someday. Also, I know I ALWAYS say this, but forgive me if Ban and Ginji seem too out of character. More Soon! (hopefully) Please Review!