What if the characters of KOTOR where based on people I know??? I was bored, thought this would be fun. Well, here you go. Anyway, I do not own KOTOR. Read, Review, and Enjoy!
"Alright. Tab. Icantstandu. Enter. There. Oh my gosh!!! I got 5 more views!" Carmon, previous Darth Revan, sat at her computer consol, quietly muttering to herself as she logged onto myspace. Glancing at her Top 8, she noticed that Carth was also online, and she smiled to herself as she opened his page. The bright orange screen flickered up in front of her. "Ah! I'm blinded by the light!" She shouted loudly, hoping somebody else on the Hawk heard her.
"Shut her up!" Carth yelled from the cockpit, thoroughly unpleased. He couldn't seem to figure out this stupid myspace, and as he refreshed the screen, he now noticed a new comment. As he silently wondered who would be commenting him, he scrolled down a bit, looking at his Top 8. "Carmon." He quietly said her name, clicking on the "New Comments" link.
Carth…your layout makes my eyes bleed as if they got tickled with a light saber. Please please please change it…alright?
He smiled at the comment as he clicked on her picture, quickly being redirected to her page. After leaving a comment, he signed off and walked towards the refresher, now needing a bathroom break.
Carmon clicked back on the home link, now satisfied with the new song she had picked. Scrolling down, she was disappointed to see that Carth had signed off, but was ecstatic at the sight of a new comment. "Goody! I get a new comment!" Her voice was high-pitched and shrill as she clicked, and read the comment.
Shut-up. I like my layout. Go get hit by a speeder.
After a few moments of staring at the screen, Carmon looked up, a goofy smile filling her face. "Oh Carth!" Carmon jumped up and started searching the ship. When she got to the refresher door, she heard Carth mumbling to himself inside. She threw open the door and Carth jumped into the air, turning around to face her.
"What the…" His voice trailed off as he stepped away from her.
"I got your comment, and might I say, there are no speeders on Manaan." Carmon smiled as she closed the space he had just made.
"Car, don't you think that you're a little obsessed with myspace?"
"Heavens no! I only log on a few times a day, it's not like I'm always on. I do have to fight the sith sometime you know!" She cocked her head to the side as she stared at him, her eyes burning through his head.
"Someone's had a bit too much juma, how about some nice water." Carth grabbed her shoulders as he dragged her from the room.
"No! I don't like water! It's so plain! Apple juice! Give me apple juice and juma!" She struggled to escape his grip, but he held her tightly around her waist.
"If you think I'm going to let you have apple juice or juma right now, you must be on spice." Carth shifted her weight as he walked further down the hall towards the cockpit.
"Carth!!!!! Where are we going? The apple juice is that way!" Carmon pointed in a random direction, hitting her hand on the wall as she did so.
"Sit here." Carth put her down in the pilot's seat. "And stay here until I get back with some water to dilute your juma. You can play with that if you want." He gestured towards the computer consol next to the chairs and then left the room.
"Myspace!" Carmon threw herself at the consol, and quickly typing in her email and password. After a second of staring at the screen, she opened another of her Top 8's profiles and left them a comment.
Half an Hour Later
A soft knocking was coming from the Ebon Hawk's door.
"Car, what the Force are you doing?" Carth was agitated as he threw open the door. Standing in front of him was a young girl in a ridiculous outfit, holding a rectangular box. "Who are you and what do you want? We paid the docking fee."
The young girl looked at him and tried to see behind him. "Are you Carmon Hanks?" The girl's voice was high-pitched and abnormally squeaky.
"No, she's in the cockpit, who are you?"
"I'm Emma Corns. Carmon asked me to come by. She needed something." The girl tried to step past Carth, but was pushed back.
"How did she contact you?" His voice was stiff and Emma smiled.
"By myspace of chores! She left me a comment and a message saying to come see her. She also asked me to bring these data pads that we could look at, because you locked her up." Emma swept past Carth and started walking towards the head of the ship. "Now, please excuse me." Her voice was light as she stepped into the cockpit and closed the door.
"What the…" Carth's voice trailed off as he decided to drop the matter and go look at new sorts of blasters.
"You got the stuff?" Carmon looked up expectantly as Emma entered the room. After settling herself on the ground in front of Carmon, Emma opened the box proudly and pulled out a few bottles and a box of something.
"Heck yeah. I got juma, apple juice, spice, pot cakes, and vanilla wafers." Emma opened two bottles of juma and handed one to Carmon as she held the other up to her eye, trying to see inside it.
"Alright Emma!" Carmon grabbed at the bottle, nearly dropping it, but catching it seconds before it hit the ground. "I suggest a toast!" She raised the bottle, and Emma did the same as both made a sound like a wild Kath hound.
"To what?"
"To outsmarting Carth!" Carmon shouted the words at the top of her lungs, and Emma started to laugh.
"To outsmarting Carth!" Emma repeated the toast through bursts of laughter and the two took long chugs of the juma.
Carth looked up from the catalog of blasters he was reading at the sound of his name.
"To outsmarting Carth!" He heard the phrase clearly now, and he grumbled as he stood, throwing the catalog to the floor and running to the cockpit.
He tried to throw the door open, but it was locked, and he rammed his fist into it. "Open the door!" He shouted, pounding it.
"Who is it?" Emma asked with a slight giggle.
"Carth, now open up you crazy idiot!"
"Uh oh! It's the big bad wolf!" Carmon put down her bottle of juma and picked up a donut. "They're powdered!" Carmon smiled at Emma and she nodded violently.
"Let me in!" Carth pounded the door again.
Carmon and Emma both held up their hands, then put up 1 finger, then 2 then three. When both of them had 3 fingers up, they shouted as loud as they could "No Big-Bad Wolf! Not by the hair of our chinny chin chins!" The two fell over laughing, but on the other side of the door, Carth was not pleased.
Carth walked back into the main hold and grabbed his catalog. How much sugar could this Emma kid really get into Car?
3 Hours Later
"So he said that she said that I said that we said that they said that I said that you said that Carth said that I said the he said that she said that Jolee said that Canderous said that Malak said that I said that you said that he said that I said that you said that she said that he said that I said that I hated juma. But why would I say that?" Carmon mumbled the words to Emma between hiccups. When Emma didn't reply, Carmon looked at her. "What? Did you eat some bad donuts?"
"No, I ate too many donuts." Emma leaded against the wall.
"Oh." Carmon took another sip of juma. "Now that you mention it, I do feel sort of sick. Do you think we shouldn't have mixed donuts and apple juice?" Carmon closed her eyes as she waited for a reply.
"That and the juma. We should have picked one treat." Emma stood slowly, crossing to the door.
"Who cares?" Carmon stood and followed her. "Where are we going?"
"To go this way!" Emma pointed down the hallway and the two walked down it, not realizing that Carth was asleep in a chair.
"Emma, wait. I don't think I can make it!"
"Car, no, you have to. If you don't make it, I don't think I can survive!" Emma pushed her forward, but the pressure she was adding to Carmon's back didn't help.
In less than 10 seconds, so many things happened that would forever scar Carth. First, Carmon threw up on him. Then, at the sight of Carmon's vomit, Emma did the same, also hitting Carth.
As Carmon and Emma snuck away, Carth stood completely still, waiting to wake up.
10 Minutes Later
"COME BACK SO I CAN KILL YOU!"
Hehe, I feel silly! Anyways...Carmon and Emma are based on real people...so, yeah. More of the Carmon and Emma Tales Coming Soon!